Funniest Complaints Heard While Cruising

With the name Cruise Critic..., its no wonder there are a lot of post about various complaints. But for a change in pace, tell us some of the funniest complaints you may have heard while cruising. I'll start with a couple...

On Grandeur of the Seas two years ago, Linda and I went to the Captains Corner on the last sea day at the theater. This is open Q&A between passengers and the ships senior officers, including the Captain. I usually like to attend and listen to the questions, compliments, and occasionally complaints from the passengers. At one point, they handed a mike to a older male passenger, and he directed his complaint to the Hotel Manager. He was very frustrated that many of the deck numbers on the elevator buttons had faded out and he suggested someone repaint them. Though the Hotel Manager tried to keep a straight face while answering, I cracked up watching the Captain failing to do the same. I guess when the chief complaints come down to elevator button numbers, its been a good cruise.

Last April, Linda and I were on Celebrity Reflection sailing on a trans Atlantic from Miami to the Western Med. Its an 18 day cruise, the first part is about 8 days crossing the Atlantic before our first port of call at Tenerife. On about day four, I was sitting at the Mast Bar on the top deck reading a book and enjoying another wonderful day at sea, when a woman sitting next to me at the bar complained...."I am so bored!!!.., all these days at Sea. Why can the schedule a stop at the half way point so we can get off the ship for a while? "

My Jamaican bartender that was taking care of us overheard this and had to turn around so no to offend the woman. Later I suggested that RCI build a inflatable island they can deploy in the middle of the Atlantic for just such occasions.

One last observation. On Reflection at the rear of the ship is what is known as the Lawn Club. Real grass on both sides of the ship. On each side, tables and chairs are there so you can relax by the grass, and on the port side, you are allowed to smoke cigars or other items. Try to picture this...there is a jogging track on Reflection that does not circle the entire ship. Instead of running to the stern (lawn club) the track cuts across the ship before you reach the lawn area. Still some people insist on running to the the stern of the ship, dogging around passengers and waiters, as well as running by me and a few other cigar smokers. OK...with the scene set, here comes a middle age woman jogger, very smartly dressed in Under Armor jogging attire. Instead of following the track turn she continues past the four of us cigar smokers.... and as she approached started to wave her hands in from of her face, obviously annoyed at our smoke and I guess to prevent her from leaving the cruise with Black Lung Disease. (Now mind you, we are in one of the only two designated smoking areas of the ship ). A while passed and here she comes again, hands waving frantically in from of her face.

I suggested to my other friends we try something to lighten the mood. Sure enough after a few minutes, I spotted her coming down the jogging track and as usual, ran right by the turnoff and headed for us. Just before she reached our position, all four of us started waving our hands in front of our face. It caught her off guard , causing her to hesitate.., then streak past us without waving. A second latter she ran into a bartender with a tray of drinks..., almost causing him to loose the tray on a customer. Well...that was the last lap of this jogger as we never saw her again.

OK....lets turn it back to the studio audience :D

When we were on the Mariner several years ago, we were coming back to Florida and experienced 90 MPH winds the evening before the cruise was over. They had even announced that everyone should stay inside if possible. My wife & I were in line at the Pursers Desk and overheard an older woman - In Her Bathing Suit - fussing at the clerk, "Someone needs to TURN OFF that wave machine at the main pool so we can go swimming!!!"

The ones I have personally heard.....

The people who think that the cruise line purposely hits the waves to make the ship rock more than it should are always funny to listen to.

The person complaining that her phone call from her cabin (where the rates are plainly posted) cost as much as at did. She was convinced if she complained enough they would remove the charge.

The couple who were in the Concierge lounge complaining about everything on the cruise (food, service, no chocolates, etc., etc., etc) but when asked why they cruise if they have so many complaints they say because they like to cruise.

There were people on my New England cruise in the fall complaining about the cold weather. They believed that Royal purposely picked that route which they travelled because it was colder.

I have heard people complain that they had to get dressed to eat in the MDR.

I have heard people complain that the drinks/souvenirs/casino games weren't free.

reedi, we cruised Canada/NE last Oct and never saw temps above 50 until we reached Charleston. But we knew that going in.:) I can't think of any amusing remarks at the moment, but my SIL ( 1st cruise ) did ask during our cruise from Sydney, Australia to Honolulu, why they stopped in Tahiti on a Holiday, where only 4 stores were open. We explained to her they had to stop for refueling #1 and the Captain didn't choose the itinerary. Our Captain did leave early ( 30 minutes ). I would say over half were back on board by 2 PM and we weren't leaving until 10 PM.

On our trip to Alaska, while cruising in Glacier Bay a women asked the photographer standing near us when we would get to the glacier. He replied that the captain had just announced it would be about 2 hours. She exclaimed, you mean there is nothing to see for two hours! As soon as she walked away we started laughing and so did the photographer. We were looking a Dahl sheep and seeing amazing scenery, enjoying a beautiful, chilly day.

On our cruise on Anthem we had a few:

A couple at the table next to us spent almost an entire dinner complaining to our waiter (who was from Jamaica) about black people voting for democrats to try and get free stuff, despite the fact that democrats don't ever give free stuff to black people. They finally asked him if he would vote for a republican now and he had to explain that as a Jamaican he couldn't vote in US elections.

A large group a couple tables over from us complained about everything at dinner. The first night they handed a business card to the waiter and loudly announced that they talked to the guy who ran the entire dining program on board and he personally promised them an amazing dinner. They sent every single dish back to the kitchen at least once; too much dressing on their salad, not enough bacon, not enough gravy. Literally every single dish had something wrong with it.

There was a woman who complained quite a bit at the iFly that she didn't know about the weight restriction and that the workers were trying to embarrass her. They waived the cancellation fee and tried to explain that the weight restriction is listed when you make reservations and is for safety and because the wind in the tunnel could only generate so much lift.

At one of our tender stops there was a lady who just about started a fist fight because she didn't want to wait in line. We were delayed getting a tender ready, and she had a ticket for tender 3. There was a long line since tender 1 and 2 hadn't left yet, but she insisted that the fact she had a ticket meant she didn't have to wait. Security ended up being called before a fist fight could break out but it was close.

Oh the Tender reminded me of our Hawaiian Cruise and we all had come back from Luau's on Lahaina. there was a large line out to the streets so they split one line into two groups and a lady complained that the other line was getting in front of them. I told her nobody was cutting in front, they split the line to get people out of the street. We all ended up on the same tender so she didn't lose a place. She was still complaining on the tender back to our ship.:)

We continually ran into the same unhappy family on our cruise last December. It stated in line. They saw that some people had wheelchairs and were being held aside for a different line. They suddenly came up with their own set of issues that required a wheelchair. They called someone over who told them they could get a wheelchair outside. Well this infuriated them. They wanted someone to go get it for them. Then we are all seated in the less than gold waiting area for first time cruisers. When boarding began, they got up and passed everyone else demanding to be allowed to board now because they were diabetic and needed food. We last saw them prior to boarding a flight home. They had gotten a wheelchair this time and all of them were standing in the door waiting to board first. But not before complaining about how the hot water on the ship was too hot. I hope this was their first and last cruise.

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There was a woman who complained quite a bit at the iFly that she didn't know about the weight restriction and that the workers were trying to embarrass her. They waived the cancellation fee and tried to explain that the weight restriction is listed when you make reservations and is for safety and because the wind in the tunnel could only generate so much lift.

They should have just let her in to allow her to enjoy her iSit session.

Probably the most memorable to me was the woman complainign to her husband about all the "foreigners" on the ship (she said it like it was a virus or something) and how she would have never gone a cruise if she'd known they let so many foreigners onoboard.

It was a Med sailing out of Venice with a heavily Italian leaning passenger base that particular sailing (or maybe she meant crew?).

I thought it was doubly odd/funny that this American sounding woman did not cosnider herself ot be a foreigner given that no port the ship was visiting, inluding the embarkation port, was anywhere near the US.

We have heard a lot of good things at guest services over the years too. I am odd enough that I enjoy taking a dirnk and sitting at a table near the GS desk and evesdropping and marvelling at how the crew keeps their composure

On our Aug. 25th Anthem sailing, I was standing behind a couple waiting for a Guest Personnel to service them. While on line, someone from GS came over and a discussion/argument ensued over a $225 credit appearing on their on-line account. I could not control myself, and being an accountant by trade, I asked if they were due an OBC and they said yes. I further commented that I would worry if the amount was a debit. Ps. They were confusing the transaction comparing it to a bank statement where deposits are debits (+) & withdrawals are credits (-).

No cruise related but still fits within the spirit of the thread.

About 10 years ago just before the kids, we took one last couples trip to WDW.

it was in early December right after thanksgiving.

Anyway, we were on the monorail from our hotel to EPCOT and an older couple sitting in the same monorail car with us.

The husband loudly starts telling his wife how mad he is that "THERE ARE TOO MANY G-D DAM KIDS HERE" He looks at us as if we were going to agree with him.

So, I said" what did you expect its Disney, not Vegas!!!" he says, maybe true, but we spent a lot of money to come here... his wife turns around and tells him to "SHUT THE HELL UP, FOR FORTY YEARS NOTHING IS EVERY GOOD ENOUGH, its no wonder why the dog ran away!!!"

We sat with a couple in MDR. Very nice folks, from New England. Every night, they ordered seafood if it was on the menu, then complained because they get better seafood at home. Really got old....every night it seemed.

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Heh, there's one on Consumer Affairs where a gentleman is complaining because he bought a rug at a store in Turkey while in port to be shipped to him in the states. It was advertised as a handmade Turkish rug. Several years later he got it appraised because he wanted to sell it and found out it was actually made in China and wasn't worth anything close to what he paid, and Royal is refusing to refund his purchase.

This was my previous contribution to this subject

http://boards.cruisecritic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2129134 :eek:

no cruise related but still fits within the spirit of the thread.

 

About 10 years ago just before the kids, we took one last couples trip to wdw.

It was in early december right after thanksgiving.

Anyway, we were on the monorail from our hotel to epcot and an older couple sitting in the same monorail car with us.

 

The husband loudly starts telling his wife how mad he is that "there are too many g-d dam kids here" he looks at us as if we were going to agree with him.

 

So, i said" what did you expect its disney, not vegas!!!" he says, maybe true, but we spent a lot of money to come here... His wife turns around and tells him to "shut the hell up, for forty years nothing is every good enough, its no wonder why the dog ran away!!!"

Winner, winner, chicken dinner !!!! :D

Our cruise was delayed by a day due to flooding at the port and the port was closed. As a result the cruise line had to cut our cruise short by a day meaning we missed out on visiting one stop. We overheard people saying that wasn't good enough and they should have cut a sea day instead of a port. I don't think they quite understood sea days were required to get to the ports.....

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We were on a Caribbean cruise a year or two ago when there was an itinerary change owing to severe weather.

An older lady was stood arguing with guest relations that we 'must go' to Cozumel because she had pre ordered an iPad there! The guest relations lady was so nice, offering to help email the outlet for the lady...the rest of us in the queue were trying to explain the reason for the itinerary change and how she really didn't want to cruise into a storm...

Finally the elderly lady was pacified and the gentlemen in front of me suddenly said 'Blast! I have forgotten what the wife sent me up to complain about!' We had all become so friendly by this time we were trying to help him remember by relating our reasons for queuing 'OBC, overcharging, problem with the stateroom...'

He finally smiled and said the bath has no plug....

By that time my unposted OBC had little relevance....

Thanks everyone for my laughs for the day! :D I especially love the WDW, kids, dog, story! Made me LOL!

I did hear a funny one from a CD. An older lady went to her cabin upon boarding. She looked out her window and saw the port. She went right to guest relations and said in a huff, "I booked an ocean view cabin and all I can see is the port!" :D :rolleyes:

We were on Anthem during Hurricane Hermine this past September. Fortunately, we did not get seasick, nor did we miss a meal, show or drink special. Others were not so lucky. Although many comments and complaints were made by many, our favorite was the man who went up to guest services and said he wanted to be refunded for two days of his drink package, because he was so seasick, he couldn't drink!

Probably the most memorable to me was the woman complainign to her husband about all the "foreigners" on the ship (she said it like it was a virus or something) and how she would have never gone a cruise if she'd known they let so many foreigners onoboard.

 

 

It was a Med sailing out of Venice with a heavily Italian leaning passenger base that particular sailing (or maybe she meant crew?).

 

I thought it was doubly odd/funny that this American sounding woman did not cosnider herself ot be a foreigner given that no port the ship was visiting, inluding the embarkation port, was anywhere near the US.

 

 

We have heard a lot of good things at guest services over the years too. I am odd enough that I enjoy taking a dirnk and sitting at a table near the GS desk and evesdropping and marvelling at how the crew keeps their composure

I LOVE this comment. I am going to eavesdrop my next cruise and observe. WE could learn a lot by doing so!!

Hilarious! Laughing out loud! Keep them coming, Please!!

Again a gem heard while waiting in line at GS.

We had sailed during the time change. An elderly gent wanted to know how much he would be compensated for the 1 hour of his cruise he had lost due to the time change!

NO I am NOT kidding!!!

I LOVE this comment. I am going to eavesdrop my next cruise and observe. WE could learn a lot by doing so!!

My husband and I have been doing this the past 10 cruises. On the last evening, we get a beverage and sit and listen to all the complaints (some are legit of course), but some are just too funny, very entertaining.