Dress code and offending people

We are thinking about doing a TA cruise in October and it seems that the Queen Mary is the only ship that goes from New York (or Florida) to England. I have been reading all about dress codes, and I am concerned that we would be VERY uncomfortable on this ship. I am not a slob, but would sooner stick needles in my eyes than dress up formally! My husband gave up ties when he retired. My question is, could we survive without getting dressed up??? Someone suggested that if one doesn't want to dress up, one shouldn't cruise with Cunard. All well and fine, but no one else goes where we want to go at that time of the year. I don't want to be offensive, but surely there are some areas where folks like us can eat? No?

Pretty much the buffet or room service. As some have stated, you can wear a sport coat on non formal nights. You are,however expected to follow the dresscodes when roaming about the ship. Shorts would be totally unacceptable anywhere on board after 6 PM during formal nights. This includes the buffet areas as well. The simple rule is if you can't/won't follow the dresscodes,choose a more casual line.There are other lines that do cross at that time.

Perhaps we should all start saving sales receipts to show at the door of the MDR to see if we're worthy of being admitted.

 

We once had a very haughty woman at our table in Princess Grill on QE2. I don't know how the conversation turned to Ebay, but she pronounced quite definitively that EVERYTHING on Ebay is rubbish. She already thought me a trashy American, simply because I didn't come from Scotland, so I didn't have the nerve to tell her my vintage evening gown from my favorite designer had come from Ebay. :eek:

 

And my bling was fake. :eek: :eek:

We were always big "Curlers" in our family. Perhaps if you dropped a stone(all 44LB)on the table, she'd have sung a different tune!

That is something I have wondered about too, Meredith. Once you are in the dark, no one sees your clothes except those next to you.

 

Actually, I had a nasty experience in the theatre on my last cruise. The friend I was travelling with (a gay male, and dressed correctly according to the dress code) sat down next to a woman and she and her male partner suddenly moved up one seat - away from him.

 

Evidently to some passengers there are some things worse than breaking the dress code.

Having done 6 Cunard & 2 Celebrity cruises,my partner & I have never encountered any form of homophobia at all.

....My original question was based on a desire to NOT offend anyone. I don't like getting dressed up. Does that make me a bad person? I asked about places one could go where one doesn't have to do the formal thing. I certainly never suggested that I wanted to run around in shorts and a baseball cap (2 things I wouldn't be caught dead in!) and ruin everyone's fun...

As I type this response this thread has over 85,000 views. So clearly the evening dress code is of great interest. Queen Mary 2 represents a more elegant time and an atmosphere that is becoming increasing rare these days. We love it and don't want anyone to mess with it. I'm someone who believes that the dress code acts as a filter on behavior. And what fellow passengers choose to wear does indeed affect the evening atmosphere.

You're doing the right thing by checking this out now before you commit time and money to a trip that may be ill suited for your current life style. Maybe you will be the piriah on board. Or maybe you will meet like minded people and can laugh a "senior" prom night.

Booking Cunard and then complaining about the dress code is like booking Disney and than complaining that the ship will be full of young children. Each line is what it is.

As I type this response this thread has over 85,000 views. So clearly the evening dress code is of great interest. Queen Mary 2 represents a more elegant time and an atmosphere that is becoming increasing rare these days. We love it and don't want anyone to mess with it. I'm someone who believes that the dress code acts as a filter on behavior. And what fellow passengers choose to wear does indeed affect the evening atmosphere.

 

You're doing the right thing by checking this out now before you commit time and money to a trip that may be ill suited for your current life style. Maybe you will be the piriah on board. Or maybe you will meet like minded people and can laugh a "senior" prom night.

 

Booking Cunard and then complaining about the dress code is like booking Disney and than complaining that the ship will be full of young children. Each line is what it is.

:D Yup.

There are also many, many Cunard full color glossy brochures out there. Take a look and one can see the general age range and the accepted mode of dress. They aren't marketing "Come as you are" when it comes to attire.

PS - Thank God Disney has the "adults only" areas : )

we appreciate the kind comments

 

'twas a change from dressing like this for a cruise

 

Capt_BJ, you are a lucky man...both you and your wife have grown more beautiful smiles over the years. It don't come easy, but you did it! Cheers! - S.

No, of course this isn't a personal attack on you, gualalamama. I can understand, however, how it might feel that way.

I think there is a sense of "customs and cultures" aboard the QM2.

When you visit a church in South America (as a tourist) and you are told (in advance) that the people who live there and use the church as a church would be offended if a lady came wearing short-shorts, wouldn't you wear longer trousers or a skirt, because this was matter of respect?

Humanity IS about understanding each other and trying to get along and be accommodating, but it is also about trying to be respectful.

You state you have "dressed up" in the past and are capable of doing so, but you don't want to. You aren't in the same category as the young man who didn't have the apparel, but was accepted nonetheless.

When you agreed to "dress-up" (dinners at the White House), was this because you HAD to (rules) or because it best served your own interests (career etc)? Whatever your motivation was then, what is your reasoning for wanting to buck the cultural norm now? I am all for being as humane to one another as possible, but what is the reasoning that the vast majority of passengers should accommodate YOU, instead of you going along with both the flow and the "rules" ?

DH and I have been on ships that have a different culture in regards to formal nights. Royal Caribbean, in the Caribbean, last December, people wore shorts to the MDR on formal night. In April 2014, we were on a Celebrity where one of our tablemates (lovely man!) wore blue jeans to dinner. Different culture than Cunard and very acceptable. Not offensive.

No, the QM2 isn't the same as a Catholic Church in South American, but there is a culture onboard---one that many of us enjoy and wish to maintain. You (the single individual) are neither a problem nor a threat---but you open the flood gates to a change we do not embrace. From my perspective, that is the reason for some of the responses to your postings.

Okay, you "dressed up" for the President of the United States. Why not for me? Am I not an important enough part of humanity for you? I don't garner your respect because I'm just someone who expects others to obey the same rules I obey?

These are just my opinions and view, gualalamama. I don't mean, in any way, to not sound sympathetic. My children didn't always want to scrub-up before a visit to grandma's. But, they knew it was important to her (seeing them all clean and shiny) and they did it. I was sympathetic to them, too.

Many of us are in our second childhoods, enjoying the piece of retirement that we saved for and which will, at some point, turn into old-age and inability to travel… But, there are still rules and motivations that extent beyond our personal pleasures--at least in my view of humanity.

Fences can contribute to good neighborliness and rules can make it clear what is expected.

Yes, you are slink around certain areas of the ship in your dress-down-duds OR you can come to the theater, or films, etc etc etc after 6 p.m. in a bit of an attire.

I understand that (despite many postings advising otherwise), your choice might be to skip the formal apparel and stay only in King's Court. While I respect that your choice is your choice, I wish you would reconsider.

I think you would be a fascinating dinner companion. You are articulate and you have opinions (which you aren't afraid to voice). We (the general anybodies on a Cunard ships) would so much rather you joined us than miss your company because you are in King's Court.

Jimmybean

I live in Florida and am retired

 

I can count the number of times I've worn long pants in the last 5 years on one hand .... up to our crossing this June

 

 

Cost me almost $1000 in new clothes but I enjoyed every minute because SHE enjoyed every minute .....

I live in Hampshire England.

When the weather permits I live in shorts...

When we sail with Cunard, we follow the code...

Though an ocean apart, we stand together.

Having done 6 Cunard & 2 Celebrity cruises,my partner & I have never encountered any form of homophobia at all.

Thanks Keith. I am very glad to hear this because that one experience did leave a 'nasty taste in my mouth'. Luckily nothing else like this happened. In fact, it was the reverse. People kept coming up to David all day to talk and to comment on his dancing.

Hello,like Richard I live in shorts.I am halfway through packing for Sunday on Queen Elizabeth.I am taking 1 Tuxedo,2 lightwieght suits and 2 jackets.I post this just to show that ordinary people can and I hope do know how to dress on Cunard.Britannia of course.

On a formal night on the QM2 I popped up to the King's Court to get my son some milk before he went to sleep. I had got out of my formalwear when he asked so I put on some shorts and a polo shirt. An elderly lady remarked rather loudly "Oooh, I thought this was supposed to be a formal night". I remarked that the King's Court doesn't apply to the formal ruling (and my path to the King's Court involved basically going up one flight of stairs so didn't involve walking through a public area) but her attitude ruined my night.

In short, all dress codes should be adhered to because it looks nice when everyone makes an effort and because it might help keep the blood pressure down of a self appointed Cunard rep who doesn't know the rules themselves.

Thanks Keith. I am very glad to hear this because that one experience did leave a 'nasty taste in my mouth'. Luckily nothing else like this happened. In fact, it was the reverse. People kept coming up to David all day to talk and to comment on his dancing.

This is the reason we chose lines like Cunard.Celebrity. They get a more worldly(overall)level of pax.

On a formal night on the QM2 I popped up to the King's Court to get my son some milk before he went to sleep. I had got out of my formalwear when he asked so I put on some shorts and a polo shirt. An elderly lady remarked rather loudly "Oooh, I thought this was supposed to be a formal night". I remarked that the King's Court doesn't apply to the formal ruling (and my path to the King's Court involved basically going up one flight of stairs so didn't involve walking through a public area) but her attitude ruined my night.

 

In short, all dress codes should be adhered to because it looks nice when everyone makes an effort and because it might help keep the blood pressure down of a self appointed Cunard rep who doesn't know the rules themselves.

Evidently she subscribes to the philosophy, "Give them an inch, they take a yard."

This is the reason we chose lines like Cunard.Celebrity. They get a more worldly(overall)level of pax.

Hi Keith, we agree with you.:D

Hi Keith, we agree with you.:D

Thanks. We've generally gravitated more to Celebrity(Eclipse) It seems to follow the Cunard style better than the lines other ships. We've found the food much better in the MDR than in Britannia. The specialty rest. are pretty much a draw. I'd like to do more on Cunard, but their Caribbean trips are still pretty limited. Travel for us(me,really) is still confined to the winter months due to the catering bus. being so busy the rest of the year.

Hi Keith, we agree with you.:D

Is Celebrity as formal as Cunard? I have always heard that HAL and Celebrity were most alike.

Is Celebrity as formal as Cunard? I have always heard that HAL and Celebrity were most alike.

Hello,like Richard I live in shorts.I am halfway through packing for Sunday on Queen Elizabeth.I am taking 1 Tuxedo,2 lightwieght suits and 2 jackets.I post this just to show that ordinary people can and I hope do know how to dress on Cunard.Britannia of course.

Hi Foster269, Like you and Solent Richard we love to dress up, but as we live in a very hot climate where we wear not only shorts for nine months of the year, but swimwear most of the time. I get up in a morning and put on my bikini. I only get dressed when I have to go out, or going to work then I wear a summer dress.

So for us to be able to wear just normal clothes is a luxury! ;)

As for the evening wear well, here people go out in shorts and T shirts so again for us to be able to wear formal clothing is such luxury and part of our cruise experience and the reason we cruise. Cunard.

I love to dress to the hilt and I sure make the most of it! :)

Have a fabulous time on QE and happy sailing.

Hi Foster269, Like you and Solent Richard we love to dress up, but as we live in a very hot climate where we wear not only shorts for nine months of the year, but swimwear most of the time. I get up in a morning and put on my bikini. I only get dressed when I have to go out, or going to work then I wear a summer dress.

So for us to be able to wear just normal clothes is a luxury! ;)

As for the evening wear well, here people go out in shorts and T shirts so again for us to be able to wear formal clothing is such luxury and part of our cruise experience and the reason we cruise. Cunard.

I love to dress to the hilt and I sure make the most of it! :)

Have a fabulous time on QE and happy sailing.

A beautiful dress! You looked lovely.

Hello Aphrodite,thank you for your warm wishes.We will try to enjoy the QE as usual.

Rodger.

Is Celebrity as formal as Cunard? I have always heard that HAL and Celebrity were most alike.

Cunard IS the most formal(Hapog LLoyd is another)Celebrity..it seems to vary on their ships. Eclipse is more formal than the rest of their ships. I think this is for a few reasons..14 day trips in the winter,which of course generally means a more well traveled mature crowd(see, I didn't stick "old" in there!)plus in the summer it is stationed in South Hampton for the European market.We see a lot of British on board in the Caribbean trips. Makes for a jolly good time. HAL is similar to Cunard in some aspects, though their dresscodes seem to be slipping to a more casual style.

A beautiful dress! You looked lovely.

Thank you we try.;) No hardship if one enjoys dressing for dinner.

Why am I picturing Hyacinthe and Richard running around the QE2 in jogging outfits looking for Daisy and Onslow?

 

Dress code threads... I think "dressed up" has different meanings for different people. I have comfortable black slacks and tops from J Jill that I can wear as sweatpants or can be dressed right up with the right shoes and jewelry. But for men- a tie is a tie and a jacket is a jacket. No creative way to get around that. But no one will care if it's the same jacket every night. No one will care if you wear the same dress or a rotation of the same skirts and tops. No one will care if you wear flats that feel like slippers to you. Conforming to the dress code does not have to be painful or expensive. My son has to wear a jacket and tie with khakis to high school and you should see how relaxed he can look in that :rolleyes:.

This has been running through my mind, too, for the entire thread! HAHAHA

You are very correct in saying compliance need not be expensive. We are taking our first trip with Cunard next month and the only expense was buying a tuxedo, which can be bought for quite a reasonable price that is actually less then renting in many cases. One tux is fine for the three formal nights. For informal nights I plan to just take two blazers and rotate them [wearing each of them twice over the 4 nights] perhaps with a different pocket square or tie [when I decide to wear one] to give the outfit a "new" look. It's not as difficult as some make it out to be.

This has been running through my mind, too, for the entire thread! HAHAHA You are very correct in saying compliance need not be expensive. We are taking our first trip with Cunard next month and the only expense was buying a tuxedo, which can be bought for quite a reasonable price that is actually less then renting in many cases. One tux is fine for the three formal nights. For informal nights I plan to just take two blazers and rotate them [wearing each of them twice over the 4 nights] perhaps with a different pocket square or tie [when I decide to wear one] to give the outfit a "new" look. It's not as difficult as some make it out to be.

Hi Foster269, Like you and Solent Richard we love to dress up, but as we live in a very hot climate where we wear not only shorts for nine months of the year, but swimwear most of the time. I get up in a morning and put on my bikini. I only get dressed when I have to go out, or going to work then I wear a summer dress.

So for us to be able to wear just normal clothes is a luxury! ;)

As for the evening wear well, here people go out in shorts and T shirts so again for us to be able to wear formal clothing is such luxury and part of our cruise experience and the reason we cruise. Cunard.

I love to dress to the hilt and I sure make the most of it! :)

Have a fabulous time on QE and happy sailing.

Oh you both look really great.