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.......idle jottings


ho-hum
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(Inspired by recent posting: engine updates ?)

 

Now lady, put down that Long Island Iced Tea and back away from the bar !

You know it makes you a little cranky (after the third one).

 

Keep those arms raised. Yes you can pick up your handbag.

No funny moves now.

Come along little lady. Tonight's over for you.

Lets go quietly.

Yes we all love Shaun.

"We all live on a yellow sea dream"

You wrote it yourself; how clever and talented.

Move right along, mind the stairs. Careful now.

No we wont stop in and see Zoltan in the piano bar tonight.

Yes, ho hum's really, really mean, is'nt he.

Yes I know all the doors look similar. Yes, its a very bad design.

No we will fill the Guest Questionnaire later. Yes ho hum will remind you.

We've gone down too many stairs ?

Well that would explain the crew looking at us rather oddly.

But are you really staying on deck 5.

With the nice doctor. Really.

Now you remember, it has a 3 in it. Ok we're getting somewhere.

Sorry you are right, you didnt say level 3.

Hello night stewardess, yes we've been for a lovely walk.

Yes we know we're in port but the lady says she feels the "swell".

Yes, it is quite bad.

But if you take your other shoe off, it might help a little.

In this swell, yes I suppose you're right.

Can you kindly check this lady's cabin number, please.

Sorry, right again. Ho hum stands corrected: Stateroom number.

218.

Oh sorry you said a 3 was'nt in it, ho hum's mistake.

Now dont cry, pretty please.

No problem at all. Goodnight, hope the bed bugs dont bite.

No it's a saying. You dont have to call housekeeping for a de-infestation.

Yes and you sleep well too.

 

You meet such interesting people on Sea Dream.

Oh well ho hum.

 

"We all live on a yellow sea dream,

yellow sea dream, yellow sea dream

We all live on a yellow sea dream,

yellow sea dream, yellow sea dream

 

As we live a life of ease (life of ease)

Every one of us has all we need

Sky of blue and sea of green

On our yellow sea dream"

 

Now that my Sea Dream friends, is going to annoy the hell out of you all the long day.

In a nice way.

Haha

 

ho hum penned this posting in his usual nonsensical manner, far from more earnest threads so as not to pollute their subject matter and draw the wrath of some serious folks.

 

ho hum has no wish to cause offence but simply to create a little amusement.

 

To other posters of a similar leaning (or disorder); feel free to use this small outpost as a forum for your own nonsensical/amusing offerings.

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does anyone know any really great Cantonese restaurants in HK close to The Upper House hotel.......yes ho hum wants it all

 

Oh and any food recommendations......my (Chinese) consultant recommended roast goose......yum.....he also recommended chicken feet broth....eeewwww

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... or at least medicinal marijuana.

 

Of course one would expect Ho-Hum, a perfect gentleman, to escort a

slightly inebriated damsel back to her cabin. But, the absence of a more

romantic ending is hardly fodder for a cinematic opus.

Knowing Ho-Hum's BW (beautiful wife), however, would rule out any

such dalliance. Hollywood's loss!

 

In Hong Kong you might consider Alvin Leung's Bo Innovation. Gets

great reviews and, you no doubt have sampled his culinary talents at

Bo London on your side of the pond.

 

Know that I am in the process of putting my vocal selections together

for October so order up the Henri Richebourg Grand Cru ... a SeaDream

select (yeh, right) and keep the humorous musings coming.

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Dear ho humm,

 

IF in Hongkong stay away from all the chineese restaurants that were given michelin stars, we had dinner at most of them and all were a scam. We left some without hardly touching the food as the ambience was like in a factory cantine and the grease dripping off the plates, others were so high style that a surtan clientele didn't find it nessesary to lower their voices or make use of forks and knifes, nor chopsticks; Just shovel it in with your fingers, elegantly.

In a three starred one in a high class hotel the 4 ladies next to us were so 'sex and the city' they texted eachother continuously without making conversation. At the table behind us a familie had their nanny for the little child standing next to the table, the nanny for the grandmother too was not allowed to sit down and stood the whole evening behind grannys chair. At another table two out of a party of five were reading a book in between courses. And the level of telefonconversations was overwhelming the background music.

In general we found the food in these places to be very bland, service uninterested and truly expensive. We are used to spent well in top restaurants in europe and probably expected the same value in those restaurants that Michelin threw hands full of stars at in hongkong.

If you want to eat sensationally good cantonees food go to one of the little teahouses where the locals go for lunch and you will have ridiculously wonderful dim sum.

Bon appetit

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As a suggestion, why not e-mail the Concierge at The Upper House, I am sure they will have contacts at the absolute best in HK.

Enjoy your stay at a magic hotel.

 

Thanks rl787; have done just that.

There is talk of a "Gourmet foodie's tour"; we think this is "street food" and which we have enquired about.

The hotel does sound great.

Thanks again.

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(Inspired by recent posting: engine updates ?)

 

Now lady, put down that Long Island Iced Tea and back away from the bar !

You know it makes you a little cranky (after the third one).

 

Keep those arms raised. Yes you can pick up your handbag.

No funny moves now.

Come along little lady. Tonight's over for you.

Lets go quietly.

Yes we all love Shaun.

"We all live on a yellow sea dream"

You wrote it yourself; how clever and talented.

Move right along, mind the stairs. Careful now.

No we wont stop in and see Zoltan in the piano bar tonight.

Yes, ho hum's really, really mean, is'nt he.

Yes I know all the doors look similar. Yes, its a very bad design.

No we will fill the Guest Questionnaire later. Yes ho hum will remind you.

We've gone down too many stairs ?

Well that would explain the crew looking at us rather oddly.

But are you really staying on deck 5.

With the nice doctor. Really.

Now you remember, it has a 3 in it. Ok we're getting somewhere.

Sorry you are right, you didnt say level 3.

Hello night stewardess, yes we've been for a lovely walk.

Yes we know we're in port but the lady says she feels the "swell".

Yes, it is quite bad.

But if you take your other shoe off, it might help a little.

In this swell, yes I suppose you're right.

Can you kindly check this lady's cabin number, please.

Sorry, right again. Ho hum stands corrected: Stateroom number.

218.

Oh sorry you said a 3 was'nt in it, ho hum's mistake.

Now dont cry, pretty please.

No problem at all. Goodnight, hope the bed bugs dont bite.

No it's a saying. You dont have to call housekeeping for a de-infestation.

Yes and you sleep well too.

 

You meet such interesting people on Sea Dream.

Oh well ho hum.

 

"We all live on a yellow sea dream,

yellow sea dream, yellow sea dream

We all live on a yellow sea dream,

yellow sea dream, yellow sea dream

 

As we live a life of ease (life of ease)

Every one of us has all we need

Sky of blue and sea of green

On our yellow sea dream"

 

Now that my Sea Dream friends, is going to annoy the hell out of you all the long day.

In a nice way.

Haha

 

ho hum penned this posting in his usual nonsensical manner, far from more earnest threads so as not to pollute their subject matter and draw the wrath of some serious folks.

 

ho hum has no wish to cause offence but simply to create a little amusement.

 

To other posters of a similar leaning (or disorder); feel free to use this small outpost as a forum for your own nonsensical/amusing offerings.

 

I woke up this morning confused because the cable box said it was one hour later than my kitchen clock said it was. Then I read this post, which made me even more confused. So I went back to bed and woke up at 11:00, or was it 12:00? In any event, I made myself a martini and went out for lunch where I had several more. As a result, I am now ready for more of ho-hum's idle jottings and another martini.

Edited by commodoredave
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... or at least medicinal marijuana.

 

Of course one would expect Ho-Hum, a perfect gentleman, to escort a

slightly inebriated damsel back to her cabin. But, the absence of a more

romantic ending is hardly fodder for a cinematic opus.

Knowing Ho-Hum's BW (beautiful wife), however, would rule out any

such dalliance. Hollywood's loss!

 

In Hong Kong you might consider Alvin Leung's Bo Innovation. Gets

great reviews and, you no doubt have sampled his culinary talents at

Bo London on your side of the pond.

 

Know that I am in the process of putting my vocal selections together

for October so order up the Henri Richebourg Grand Cru ... a SeaDream

select (yeh, right) and keep the humorous musings coming.

 

Suggesting ho hum's postings may at least (at least, mind you !) be due to partaking of medicinal marijuana is in a similar vein of wholly un-true, devious suspicions as those of Jim & "Martini" Dave's own cheeky allegations.

 

So that's two Hollywood productions ho hum has inspired but ho hum is more suited to the 1960's British classic comedy “Carry on Cruising”; sheer brilliance. Check out the trailer to it below;

 

 

You will be surprised to hear that ho hum knows very little about Chinese food let alone Cantonese food principally because there are very few restaurants locally and because ho hum is a wine lover.

Those restaurants that abound tend to be in the less posh parts, are garish, proclaiming "No MSG" in red pen on white plastic boards in the window (classy), where the servers pour the orange coloured, Szechuan rose wine up to the rim of the glass between every modest sip and whom appear physically unable to smile.

 

Riesling and Gewurz' are the standard pairings for Chinese food but ho hum only likes these wines as a single aperitif serving.

Which just leaves champagne but paying $250+ for a basic champagne in HK takes some swallowing (both literally and metaphorically) !

No we will probably try Chinese rice wines. Ho hum loves sake.

 

Bo is a great recommendation. Thanks. Our mutual Danish x-ing (no not cross-dressing) friend has recently recommended the very same restaurant.

 

Ho hum fears your excellent "crooning" will be no match for the (very sad to say) simply appalling piano playing historically encountered.

What do others think ? The piano player on SDI is "getting" rave reviews (well just from you CC actually but your the expert).

 

Do you mean the Henri JAYER Richebourg Grand Cru ?

Have you ever had it ? Details (privately if you wish).

One bottle of the 1987 is more than the forthcoming HK trip (even before a 200% restaurant mark-up !).

Is this the kind of libation you imbibe on a Friday night with your beaver offal caught in the traps surrounding your old wooden cabin in the deepest forests of cold and icey Canada ?

 

Ho hum has started thinking. Maybe you should let ho hum know what the St.Barth's rental share is likely to be before we make final arrangements for 2015 ! Yikes !

 

What do others think of the piano playing ? Is ho hum being un-fair ?

Yes it's agreed they do other important jobs (hopefully better than their piano playing: they are not in charge of monitoring water quality by any chance ? Ho hum sees a trend here).

And yes they are all truly lovely guys (ho hum feels such a cad).

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Listen Ho-Hum, my "cruising" days are over. Cross-dressing, as well!

 

Perhaps you haven't noticed that while I may be a bit limp wristed on

occasion, all other traces of my decadent days of yore have long since

passed. How dare you intimate otherwise!

 

Surely (don't call me Shirley) you jest. Yes, Henri Jayer Richebourg Grand

Cru it is. While my palate is discerning, I am far too parsimonious for

such an indulgence. Enjoy the sake and I'll load up on the ripple.

Don't worry about the villa costs, Old Blue Eyes royalty checks are about

to come due and I can float you a loan.

 

Safe flight and love to your BW. icon7.gificon7.gif

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Dear ho humm,

 

IF in Hongkong stay away from all the.......................

If you want to eat sensationally good cantonees food go to one of the little teahouses where the locals go for lunch and you will have ridiculously wonderful dim sum.

Bon appetit

 

 

Sehr geehrter Herr (oder Frau),

(Dear sir (or madam)),

 

vielen Dank, dass sie sehr informative

(Thank you for you very informative posting).

 

Ho hum ist in ihrer Schuld.

(Ho hum is in your debt).

 

How truly awful ! Your (expensive, no doubt) dining experiences ruined.

So this is not simply differing traditional etiquette,

it sounds like "nouveau riche" trash ! Noooooooo !

So it's a teahouse for us also then (or maybe it will be room service.

The hotel we are staying in is supposed to be amazing,

we will have fantastic views.

We will hopefully be dining with chums for most of our time on SD

so it will be great to have special moments with the lady of ho hum's life

and maybe ho hum will bring a couple of Dom P's in hand baggage for the occasion.

 

Ho hum needs to save every penny/dime/sous if sharing a future villa cost in St.Barths with Commander Courageous !

He has also already had to take on an extra "paper round" to gain extra funds

and he's suggested to lady hum that she should buy no more shoes....that did'nt go to plan !

 

"I'll stop buying shoes, if you stop buying wine" ! Yikes.

 

Presently we are in an awkward stand off.

One more "paper round" looks likely !

 

Noch einmal vielen Dank freund

(Thankyou again friend)

 

Ho hum has met some wonderful German chums onboard; he has a funny story about one couple.

But maybe ho hum is being over-familiar………..another time perhaps.

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oh.....and another thing

there is the best joke ho hum has ever heard (German AND nautical related; how about that)

but ho hum will only share the joke for a special occasion or if mercilessly begged to share it (über control freak ehh !!)

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I woke up this morning confused because the cable box said it was one hour l"..........nt, I made myself a martini and went out for lunch where I had several more. As a result, I am now ready for more of ho-hum's idle jottings and another martini.

 

So let old ho hum get this right.

What you seem to be implying old chum,

Is that ho hum's "posts" only seem intelligible after a few martini's !!

Well at least ho hum has given you the perfect excuse !! (as if you really needed one).

 

PS

Keep up the honest reporting on SD.

It’s really important to have your valued experience of other lines and how they communicate (or not) to their clients.

 

Photo, perfectly pictures how (most) posters feel getting info from Sea Dream about Kids, Engines, price of coffee beans........etc. (for some reason ho hum cannot get any photo bigger than thumbnail size. You will have to increase size yourself. Sorry. Any advice appreciated).

image.jpg.7e1e5e4d8044831d4eb7cee3b34c2e77.jpg

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..........up early I see, probably fitting in that extra 'paper round'.:D

Have you had a look at the Cantonese restaurant in the Grand Hyatt on HKIsland? It's called 'One Harbour Road'. It's not that far from the Upper House. I haven't been, friends who have been thought it was excellent. We tried a Japanese restaurant called Robatayaki ?? It's a little out of the way but we found the food fabulous. Everything cooked fresh at the BBQ/grill in front of you. Excellent fish and veg choices. Flavours were amazing. Are you joining a cruise in HK, maybe I'm being too nosey? Hope you enjoy your trip. P

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..........up early I see, probably fitting in that extra 'paper round'.:D

Have you had a look at the Canton..................you joining a cruise in HK, maybe I'm being too nosey? Hope you enjoy your trip. P

 

Poppy darling,

(yes just back from the paper round, damn that Commander Courageous and his expensive villa. Bit early yourself, mind you those cows won’t get milked by themselves !)

 

How wonderful to hear from you and thanks so much for your valuable recommendations.

As you know ho hum loves fish & vegetarian food; in fact positively prefers them. We will check with concierge but what’s been seen online looks fantastic. Thanks. Won’t go anywhere again without checking with you first !

 

Pssssstttt (bend down closer to the screen; ho hum’s typing this quietly, now this is just for you Poppy darling, don't tell a soul, but yes, 'tis true, ho hum is travelling to HK very soon then bo…..(interference)..........a small ya……interference)……......... it will be lovely seeing all those chums on……interference)…….........ho hum wishes you were coming.

What time's we would have gal ! Yeeehhhaaaa ! (as you cow gals say).

 

To all you other dear readers: are there any other restaurants or teahouses recommended ?

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So let old ho hum get this right.

What you seem to be implying old chum,

Is that ho hum's "posts" only seem intelligible after a few martini's !!

Well at least ho hum has given you the perfect excuse !! (as if you really needed one).

 

PS

Keep up the honest reporting on SD.

It’s really important to have your valued experience of other lines and how they communicate (or not) to their clients.

 

Photo, perfectly pictures how (most) posters feel getting info from Sea Dream about Kids, Engines, price of coffee beans........etc. (for some reason ho hum cannot get any photo bigger than thumbnail size. You will have to increase size yourself. Sorry. Any advice appreciated).

 

Ho-hum, as usual, your posts are among the most entertaining on this site. I have been trying to increase my size for several years, but taking Viagara only makes it difficult to fit on the elevator with others at peak periods.

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.........must be doing a double shift today!

Tea houses, well, we were advised to visit the famous 80 year old tea house as one of the top 10 things to do in HK. I know it's recommended to eat were the locals eat but I got half way up the stairs of this teahouse and turned back. I'm sure the food was fabulous but the setting just wasn't for me.

Couldn't remember its name so after I'd sorted Rita Hayworth, Bette Davis and Judy Garland in the milking parlour this morning I googled it.

It's called Lin Heung Tea House.

So while I was agoogling I searched for other tea houses in the vicinity of your hotel and found a veggie tea house beside or in HKPark. It's called Lock Cha Tea Shop. It actually looks very pretty maybe your concierge will advise you.

I've tried to attach a pic of it but haven't a clue where it's gone. It will probably appear on the Fred Olsen board or in the middle of someone's post. :confused:

Finally finally have you looked at http://www.openrice.com for restaurants. You can filter by location, type of food, read reviews incl local reviews, browse pics of food etc.

Not sure of your itinerary, we did Singapore to HK, 15 days on Seabourn (or Seaboring as I noticed someone called it recently. Wonder who?) fabulous itinerary, would do it again in a heartbeat.

South China Sea can get a bit bumpy so bring your Sealegs.

Enjoy your trip, when is it or is that too nosey too. P:)

image.jpg.0f196969fc893f370785f859070012d9.jpg

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Ho-hum, as usual, your posts are among the most entertaining on this site. I have been trying to increase my size for several years, but taking Viagara only makes it difficult to fit on the elevator with others at peak periods.

 

Please check the drug warning label............the bit about mixing alcohol (martinis, in your case) and the strange effects it may have (or is definitely having in your case !). Haha

 

In your honour, Ho hum will be requesting Shaun & Zoltan to create "The Commodore ******-tini" cocktail, twisted and served straight up ! Akarumba !!

What does "straight up" even mean ? No ho hum is not a martini drinker: is it named after an Italian called Martin ?

 

(Noted you've booked another line and appreciate your understandable reasons but keep posting, please. Your informed and experienced viewpoint (as a regular cruiser) has been most valued. You are great fun too and will always be welcomed in this little corner of the forum).

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OK so the cocktail name ho hum painstakingly invented has been partially edited by the good CC people but ho hum guesses you know the name is inspired by medication name mentioned by the Commodore.

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Please check the drug warning label............the bit about mixing alcohol (martinis, in your case) and the strange effects it may have (or is definitely having in your case !). Haha

 

In your honour, Ho hum will be requesting Shaun & Zoltan to create "The Commodore ******-tini" cocktail, twisted and served straight up ! Akarumba !!

What does "straight up" even mean ? No ho hum is not a martini drinker: is it named after an Italian called Martin ?

 

(Noted you've booked another line and appreciate your understandable reasons but keep posting, please. Your informed and experienced viewpoint (as a regular cruiser) has been most valued. You are great fun too and will always be welcomed in this little corner of the forum).

 

Ho-Hum is again correct. Martini is named after that famous Italian Dean Martin. Hence Martin-i.:eek::D And could "straight up" be the opposite of "on the rocks"???

Edited by Jim Avery
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Please check the drug warning label............the bit about mixing alcohol (martinis, in your case) and the strange effects it may have (or is definitely having in your case !). Haha

 

In your honour, Ho hum will be requesting Shaun & Zoltan to create "The Commodore ******-tini" cocktail, twisted and served straight up ! Akarumba !!

What does "straight up" even mean ? No ho hum is not a martini drinker: is it named after an Italian called Martin ?

 

(Noted you've booked another line and appreciate your understandable reasons but keep posting, please. Your informed and experienced viewpoint (as a regular cruiser) has been most valued. You are great fun too and will always be welcomed in this little corner of the forum).

 

Thank you Ho Hum. Rest assured that I will remain a presence on this board and that I will be sailing again on SD in future as I love the ship and crew.

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.........must be doing a double shift today!

Tea houses, well, we were advised to visit the famous 80 year old tea house as one "..............

South China Sea can get a bit bumpy so bring your Sealegs.

Enjoy your trip, when is it or is that too nosey too. P:)

 

Thanks for valuable offerings (yet again). Your photo was at bottom of page.

Had an amazing first night snack at Cafe Gray in The Upper House hotel with various libations (Japanese expresso stout beer: a kind of racy Guinness, mmmmmm).

 

Visits to eateries (and anywhere else for that matter) are now frankly limited due to a sudden recurring disability (yes as well as feeble mindedness) but on the plus side made it thro' HK airport in a wheelchair in a flash with a tiny little Chinese lady (pushing ho hum up the long ramps was a bit embarrassing tho').

A man came up and asked if oxygen was needed.

For whom, ho hum or the charming little lady ? Give it her, she needs it more than ho hum.

An attempt to reassure ho hum didn't quite go as intended when the young lady said "you dont like to be burden on people do you ?"

Well ho hum does'nt really mind darling, been a burden to everybody all my long, long day. Haha

 

Ho hum trip you ask ? Ho hum's trips are kept "under wraps" as various establishments have received a spike in cancellations from their clientele in the past when ho hum has given out his travel plans causing them severe financial loss, so he has kept "schtum" !

Haha

(Schtum is a British word with Yiddish sounding overtones used by the criminal class in 1950's Britain. And before you ask, no ho hum does not frequent the criminal classes of any era but he was very influenced watching early British cinema before moving on to American Westerns !

Had a gun and outfit and hat and everything and a gang.

Former gang members now reputable high court judge, medical consultant and Bishop: how we struck fear into them girls ! Well not Doris Giggleswate from the Council estate, she hit the Bishop and made him cry.

Well enough of this tale telling tittle-tattle. Gang member code of honour stuff.

That not kissin' girls rule only lasted a couple of months except for the Bishop but then it was easier for him as we later found out many hears later when he introduced us to Walter.

 

Posting from a very, very foggy HK.

A right pea souper and make no mistakes me lady, Lord love a duck !

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(Harro.....geddit)

Well the night time fog is replaced by the day time fog caused by herds of smokers disconsolately puffing on their fags (no, not that kind: cigarettes, well really) around the huge buildings.

 

So tailors first to "run up" some new jackets then try to find Poppy's restaurant.

Had an amazing meal, too much food so brought back in a lovely bag.

Finish off the rest with a chilled DP (brought with ho hum, no not cheap just careful like Jack Benny. Very funny man.).

 

Now ho hum will admit it, although having a Chinese name, he was not a great fan.

But this time, he finds the people are lovely.

So ho hum regales this delightful discovery to travelling companion and "light of his life".

Are'nt the people here lovely ?

If you bought me the equivalent of what we're spending here on jewellery, even I would be lovely to you.

How much is it costing to stay here then ?

When told ho hum remembered and shouted the name his old friend Ho Li Fuk !

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Dr. No (licensed to practice in China only) suggests immediate elimination

of all alcohols and fats ... especially bacon, coupled with treatments of

anti-inflammatory drugs. Acupuncture also popular in that part of the world,

but Dr. No recommends only in dire cases.

 

Of course the added expense of on-call rickshaw service will add substantially

to your travel budget ... requiring a reduction in your custom tailoring

expenditures and shoe purchases by your BW. Life is a bitch!

 

Dr. will appreciate frequent updates on patient's condition, as other remedies

may have to be employed before boarding ship to insure a blissful holiday.

Please also include your NHS number for billing purposes. icon9.gif

 

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.........you're there, how fabulous. Sorry to hear about the airport bit, at least you got through quickly. Heres hoping you have a great cruise, no doubt you will.

PS. Doris sounds like a right old battle axe. PPS. I thought your friends middle name was Lee.

Happy cruising.P:)

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