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Afraid to cruise


AZDENNY
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I have a coworker who's wife is deathly afraid of being on the water. The family all wants to go on a cruise but the wife so far refuses. Any suggestions to how they can possibly convince her to try it.

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Don't.

 

If her fear is deep seated it's going to take therapy and no amount of family argument will relieve her fear. She will be in a state of anxiety from the time she boards.

 

Perhaps this family can think of a spa vacation or something on land that she can take by herself while they cruise?

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Frankly, I would not suggest they force the issue. Unless the wife WANTS to overcome her fear, it would be counterproductive to try.

 

Some people are afraid to fly, some are afraid to swim, when I was five I was afraid to ride an escalator. Only when the person with the fear wants to learn to overcome it, will there be the possibility of doing so. Coercion is usually not going to work.

 

Perhaps the family could consider going without Mom, since she is deadly afraid. If she would rather stay home or stay at the port on the beach.....might be an option for them.

 

ETA-Blue Riband and I were posting essentially the same thing at the same time.;)

Edited by cherylandtk
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Don't even try -- when a person has that much fear about being on the water -- nothing anyone says will convince her to cruise.

My mother's sister was afraid to fly and nothing anyone said to her could get her on a plane. Her husband had a couple of conventions that he had to attend that were out of the country and since they couldn't drive to them, she stayed home.

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Good thoughts posted so far: she will only be able to overcome her fear if she wants to. A good way to perhaps encourage that want is for the rest of the family to cruise while she does something else. If everyone supports her fear by depriving themselves of the experience, she will have little incentive to try to overcome it.

 

Do not urge her to go - just say "we'll miss you", as you each go off on your own vacations.

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They can go without her

 

If she has a fear then not much is going to change that

 

if they force her she might be miserable the whole trip

 

 

I agree- go without her (and she may actually enjoy a break from the daily demands of family life).

When folks return with great memories, stories, pix, etc., you may find her a touch more interested in going on the next cruise.

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Do any ships offer a tour whilst they are in port? If they do then maybe just looking around may persuade her to at least think about some type of therapy.

 

 

Princess offers the Bon Voyage Experience. It's only offered on some ships at some ports. Can roam the ship, have lunch and debarked before muster. IIRC available in San Pedro, CA. It's just under $40/pp, money is then used towards a cruise.

Edited by SadieN
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Princess offers the Bon Voyage Experience. It's only offered on some ships at some ports. Can roam the ship, have lunch and debarked before muster. IIRC available in San Pedro, CA. It's just under $40/pp, money is then used towards a cruise.

 

We have a friend that won't even come to these luncheons because of her fear!

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I think there is great advice being given here. I have a fear of flying. I know people who have a fear of cruising. Or a fear of trains, which I love as a form of travel!

Respect her and give her space and YES go on a cruise without her.... Let her hang out at the beach for the week while you are cruising .

I think the worst part of the fear (besides the fear itself) is when those people I know with a fear of cruising give me a hard time for my fear of flying....just because they will fly. Fear is fear and it is not based in rationale thought.

Just give her respect and space and maybe at some point in the future she will want to see what she is missing out on. Just my humble opinion :)

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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Overcoming this type of fear is often a matter of familiarizing the person with the experience enough that they get used to it over time. It's best not to rush the person into this. Maybe this family should take her to Long Beach, CA and stay on the Queen Mary. The ship is not going anywhere and she can see what it is like stay on a ship without sailing on it. That might help to allay her fears. Right now is a good time to do this as they are having an exposition of Princess Diana's life - so there's a museum exhibition onboard as well and they have ghost tours and dining in the restaurants. People who have never been on a cruise ship before have no idea of the scale of the ship - that it's like being in a huge resort hotel/shopping mall complex. Another thing would be to take her on a beach vacation so she can get used to seeing the water. After several experiences, I believe the woman may begin to gain confidence in the idea of cruising.

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The rest of the family should not have to feed snd conform to her fear and only do what she can manage........go w/o her!

It could he the push for her to take some anti anxiety meds to get her thru it for the sake of the family.

My coworker and her husband have a fear of flying but a family situation imposed them to have to do it......and they did! The train was a ridiculous time consuming option( trains now have their own issues if you watch the news)!

They flew cause it had to be done and I applauded both of them for beating an impractical fear.

No one should have to alter their lives to accommodate a single individuals fear!

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Good advice thus far. I would just say "Honey. ________ and I really want to go on a cruise but we understand your hesitation. Know that you are welcome but we are going and would be supportive if you wanted to receive some help (therapy) so that you could join us. But, we are going... (broken record)

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Sadly I have to agree with the vast majority of replies.

"Leave her behind" is harsh, but perhaps there's a way her family can soften it, for instance at the same time plan for a future shared land excursion or her visiting friends/relatives at the same time.

 

I've seen the same thing with those who won't fly.

And some Americans who won't travel abroad because of an over-active imagination regarding terrorism.

 

I suspect that attempts to change her mind will only bring grief & frustration.

And definitely best you stay out of it.

 

Shame, but that's the way of things.

 

JB :)

Edited by John Bull
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The only cruise I would consider with someone afraid of being on the water is on one of the super-mega ships like Oasis of the Seas. These are so huge that you barely know you are on water. They feel more like a resort hotel at the beach than a cruise ship on the water.

 

If you can convince her to try one of these floating resorts she might find that her fears are unfounded and hopefully be willing to try another cruise on a smaller ship.

Edited by SantaFeFan
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Don't.

If her fear is deep seated it's going to take therapy and no amount of family argument will relieve her fear. She will be in a state of anxiety from the time she boards.

 

Agree! Possibly another type of vacation would be best for your family. ;)

 

LuLu

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I suffered from that fear, myself. When DH suggested a cruise, I said no way, but I became so tired and burnt out at work that I decided I didn't care what happened to me on a cruise, it had to be better than being at work.

 

Oh, and I was even more afraid of flying, but I did that to get the cruise. At takeoff, I cried uncontrollably and held onto DH's arm so hard he was badly bruised.

 

She has to decide when/if she's going to face her fears. It's not easy, but it is worth it.

 

I still have trouble flying, but don't cripple poor DH anymore on takeoff. cruising doesn't bother me at all [emoji3]

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Agree! Possibly another type of vacation would be best for your family. ;)

 

LuLu

 

A number of people I know have overcome their fear of flying - because they finally sought counseling/remediation. If someone is permitted to let his/her fear dictate the life styles of those around them, they not only have no incentive to seek help, but they are seriously imposing on others.

 

A person should not be forced to do something they fear - but their fear should not unfairly force others to give up the vacation they want. Going without her would not even be "tough love" -- it would be simple common sense.

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A number of people I know have overcome their fear of flying - because they finally sought counseling/remediation. If someone is permitted to let his/her fear dictate the life styles of those around them, they not only have no incentive to seek help, but they are seriously imposing on others.

 

A person should not be forced to do something they fear - but their fear should not unfairly force others to give up the vacation they want. Going without her would not even be "tough love" -- it would be simple common sense.

 

Well said. My wife and I have different interests as well as many that are the same. We enjoy cruising together, and traveling all over the world together. But there are vacations that I take to places she has no interest in, and some that she takes that I am not interested in. After 31 years of this we are as close as ever, savoring the vacations we take together, and respecting each other for allowing us to occasionally do things separately.

 

One year we both took our vacations at the same time, but each went to a different place. We told our friends that "We took separate vacations together". :D

 

There is nothing wrong with leaving a family member behind if they don't want to go on the cruise.

Edited by SantaFeFan
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If being afraid of being on the water even remotely resembles my fear of flying, she shouldn't even think about therapy or whatever so she can endure her probably most miserable vacation ever.

 

Please do not try to convince her that it would be fun. Even if you can get her to join the cruise she will not like it.

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Fawnriver. ..you are one of the brave ones...you are my hero!

LuLu.....family should not do something that mom wants but what the majority wants.If its a cruise....she can stay home and sulk or only read about the places her family is visiting.

Feeding fears is not healthy especially if there are children!

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