Is this rude? (Dining)

Since I usually am carrying a book or Kindle I have also left this at my place and never had anyone take it.

I have mentioned so many times in various threads that I don't dare leave a book because of the time I was at a restaurant on land and I left a newspaper by my plate before I walked over to the salad bar so that i would remember where my table was, only to return to my table and see that there wasn't a newspaper there. But wait! The man at the next table was reading a newspaper identical to mine. I asked him if he had taken my newspaper, and he said, as he returned it to me, "I didn't realize that it was yours. I thought that someone just left it there."

So I thought that my newspaper meant that it was my table (and a reminder to me as to where I should sit), while he thought, "Oh boy! Someone left a newspaper! A free newspaper for me! Finders keepers!"

I wouldn't want to lose a book that way.

Tipping the chair makes it difficult for others to get past your table (especially anyone with a mobility impairment) and can trip someone. It is not safe and I actually find it a bit inconsiderate.

I had never heard of this before reading about it here, and I obviously never did it, and I will never do it. So now I'm wondering if the people who all said that they thought that everyone knew about tipping the chair were aware that they were being inconsiderate. Maybe that's why the buffet waiters don't realize that tipped chairs mean that someone is coming right back, so don't take their food. Maybe they just think, "There go some more inconsiderate passengers."

Tipping the chair makes it difficult for others to get past your table (especially anyone with a mobility impairment) and can trip someone. It is not safe and I actually find it a bit inconsiderate.

I've only sailed on Holland America and only sit at two-tops, and the chairs at all of those tables are not in the path of anyone walking. Therefore, I'm not impacting anyone's mobility or safety by tipping my chair inward.

But I do thank you for your sweeping generalization. :rolleyes:

There's nothing wrong with doing any of these things, but I'm not especially troubled about finding someplace else to sit if "my" seat is taken when I return.

Wow, this post took a turn :eek:

I remember hearing/reading about chair tipping but had forgotten all about it.......but of course it doesn't work if you're in a booth :p

I'm a solo traveler too, had my Guy's fries taken away when I went to grab something else. *sob*

As far as the staff go, unless they are a manager or supervisor, it's not their job to tell their co-workers what to do OR to be our place-savers. Just think about how you would feel if you were held responsible for what a coworker did when you weren't looking - eek!

Just a note...

As a disabled and rather large person who uses a mobility device, I have never seen the tipping of a chair, as described in this thread, block the pathway more than a person (even a child or very small adult) sitting at the table in a normal fashion on said chair.

I've had wait staff take away my food before as well, when I got up for a moment to use the facilities, leaving my stuff there, where it is obvious I haven't left. I've even had them try to take my plate from in front of me when I was right there, fork in hand! Apparently, in some minds, if you are not actively shovelling food into your gob, you must be done. When I've had my food taken away at non-buffet places, I make them bring me more or refund the percentage of my bill that reflects the amount of food which was left. Most of the time, they want to just get by with an apology, which doesn't fly. I want all of what I paid for. If I can't finish it, that's what take away boxes are for.

At least at a buffet, you can go get more, but it's still very annoying.

What's rude is taking an obviously occupied table or spiriting away someone's food without ensuring they are actually done, not leaving a sign or other indication to help make your occupancy more clear.

I have a small notebook with a bright pink cover that I always take with me when I travel. On the bright pink cover, in large print, are the words "I WILL BE RIGHT BACK" I leave it on the table with a book when I need to be away.

I have a small notebook with a bright pink cover that I always take with me when I travel. On the bright pink cover, in large print, are the words "I WILL BE RIGHT BACK" I leave it on the table with a book when I need to be away.

All I can say is that you're extremely lucky, because with my luck, if I did that, both the notebook and the book would go missing.

All I can say is that you're extremely lucky, because with my luck, if I did that, both the notebook and the book would go missing.

Well, so far I've used that same notebook to save my tables and lounges on many HAL and Celebrity cruises. We will see what happens on Carnival this month and NCL in December.

I have never had a problem with my book being taken on many cruise days - guess I just cruise with nicer people? But, one time while actually eating on the back deck of the Lido while at the pier in San Diego I did have a seagull swoop down and take a chicken leg off my plate and land nearby to eat it. This managed to be the key entertainment for all eating out there, myself included.

Most of the time I just take one glass and one plate sit down, finish it, go for a second round and take the next available seat. I do appreciate when the staff takes away the dirty plates as soon as possible so that is the easiest way to do it for everyone involved.

If it is important for me to keep my table like early morning before a busy shores excursion day where most of the ship hit the buffet at the same time I bring an extra jacket to put over the back of the chair before I get my food.

I have had very good luck by politely asking the people at the table next to me to stop the waiter if he/ she tries to clear my table. Once in a while I get folks to whom English is not native, but most of the time, they are happy to help. I have been on the reverse side of this, when traveling with a companion, and have been asked and always honor the request. I also agree that leaving a book is another way to get the message across.

Maybe fifty years ago it was okay, but in a crowded restaurant it is dangerous to other passengers, older folks, those in wheelchairs. I've seen people struggling to walk with a full tray, concentrating on not spilling, be flattened by chair legs where they weren't expecting any,

It is a silly, archaic, boarding school move. If it was a good idea, they would do it in the dining room...no?

Maybe fifty years ago it was okay, but in a crowded restaurant it is dangerous to other passengers, older folks, those in wheelchairs. I've seen people struggling to walk with a full tray, concentrating on not spilling, be flattened by chair legs where they weren't expecting any,

It is a silly, archaic, boarding school move. If it was a good idea, they would do it in the dining room...no?

Why would it even be done in the dining room? Getting up from one's table to get more food or drink wouldn't be an issue there.

(And didn't they have crowded restaurants fifty years ago?)

Also I think, more than anything, having carefully placed cutlery and plates when I left my table signaled that I'd be back with like a folded day planner.

In the formal dining etiquette, cutlery positioning can signify "finished" or "resting". The "finished" position is the knife and fork placed on the plate parallel and next to each other at the "4" position (think clock face). The "resting" position (which can also mean "getting more") is the knife placed at "4" and the fork placed at "8", with ends crossed at the center of the plate.

The etymology behind it that historically, waiters were prohibited from engaging in conversation with diners (due to rank hierarchy), even to ask "are you finished?", so communication only happened via cutlery positioning.

A lot of people today aren't familiar with this part of dining etiquette, because no one really does formal dining anymore. But many waiters receive training on it, so this is one tactic to try.

In the formal dining etiquette, cutlery positioning can signify "finished" or "resting". The "finished" position is the knife and fork placed on the plate parallel and next to each other at the "4" position (think clock face). The "resting" position (which can also mean "getting more") is the knife placed at "4" and the fork placed at "8", with ends crossed at the center of the plate.

 

The etymology behind it that historically, waiters were prohibited from engaging in conversation with diners (due to rank hierarchy), even to ask "are you finished?", so communication only happened via cutlery positioning.

 

A lot of people today aren't familiar with this part of dining etiquette, because no one really does formal dining anymore. But many waiters receive training on it, so this is one tactic to try.

Dining as art has been lost for ages and frankly speaking - never existed in USA

This is the ship's buffet we're talking about -- I'm pretty sure that the art of formal dining doesn't apply.

I lay my napkin on the back of my chair - and so far that has worked.

That should do it! Rofl😝

I leave a note on a business card. "Please leave all. Be right back. Thanks." Several people have noticed and some have smiled and thanked me.