Is it the 1950s or the year 2016?

Hi all,

I am excitedly looking forward to my first solo cruise next month.

I am a married woman who has cruised twice before with family but as they are not able to join me for work/study reasons and I desperately needed a cruise, I decided to book a solo cruise.

The reaction has been resoundingly negative from family, friends and co-workers. Apparently, I should not travel without my husband (seriously?), cruising solo is a sign of having no friends and is embarrassing, I will have no-one to talk to and I am being really "brave" (eye-roll).

I suspect they are secretly jealous.

Anyways, I plan to have a great time and hopefully this will be the first of many.

Congrats! You are going to love it! It's amazing what you can do being a solo cruiser. There will be plenty of people to talk to when you want to be social and if you want to be alone, there will be plenty of chances for that.

I had a ton of negative reactions as well, though I am no longer married, waiting around for someone to cruise with me was not an option, I might never cruise again if I had to wait for someone to join me. I've been on 2 this past year and I have another solo scheduled in a few months!

Good luck and don't let anyone get you down!

Have fun!

Hi all,

 

I am excitedly looking forward to my first solo cruise next month.

 

I am a married woman who has cruised twice before with family but as they are not able to join me for work/study reasons and I desperately needed a cruise, I decided to book a solo cruise.

 

The reaction has been resoundingly negative from family, friends and co-workers. Apparently, I should not travel without my husband (seriously?), cruising solo is a sign of having no friends and is embarrassing, I will have no-one to talk to and I am being really "brave" (eye-roll).

 

I suspect they are secretly jealous.

 

Anyways, I plan to have a great time and hopefully this will be the first of many.

Hi,......great question:D........I am 58 years old and have been divorced

for almost my entire adult life....I have been cruising solo for 13 years.

I LOVE IT:).....I don't know you or your family but I am sorry they

are being so negative towards you and your decision. Too bad they

could not take a positive stance and tell you to go and have a wonderful

time.....doesn't sound like a very supportive group:(:eek:.....(in my

opinion).

As for your co-workers, are they "good friends"?.......doesn't sound like

they are friends at all.

I hope you go on your cruise and have an absolutely marvelous time:)

And tell them this......there are many of us who are solo/single/divorced/

widowed, etc....and yes some are even married but want some "of their

own time" and cruising solo is AWESOME.:D

Oh, one more thing.......I was re-reading your original post....as for being embarrassed

to cruise solo? That is just a total bunch of BS.....nothing in the world to be embarrassed

about. There will be plenty of friendly folks to chat with (and you can choose to or not to).

Sorry I have gone a bit overboard on this but after sailing solo for so many years I get really

tired of those folks who think it is odd.......it is my (your) choice.....we are big girls and can

make the right decision. Tell your family to just respect your decision, even if they are not

going to agree with it.

Hi all,

 

I am excitedly looking forward to my first solo cruise next month.

 

I am a married woman who has cruised twice before with family but as they are not able to join me for work/study reasons and I desperately needed a cruise, I decided to book a solo cruise.

 

The reaction has been resoundingly negative from family, friends and co-workers. Apparently, I should not travel without my husband (seriously?), cruising solo is a sign of having no friends and is embarrassing, I will have no-one to talk to and I am being really "brave" (eye-roll).

 

I suspect they are secretly jealous.

 

Anyways, I plan to have a great time and hopefully this will be the first of many.

Wow, your friends, family and co-workers are not jealous; but rude. This is your life and your money. How dare they make judgement on you. Who are they to tell you what to do? Now, your husband is a different story and he (I guess) doesn't mind and is supportive. That's all that's important. It's not like you're going on a three month around the world cruise; but even then it's none of anyone business. Ignore the nay-sayers and have a great time. Maybe next time don't tell anyone your are going and just go. Please come back on CC and let us know how it was.

I hope you have a wonderful cruise. Somebody needs to tell a large segment of society that, in this day and age, it is okay for a woman to be in public (or on vacation) unaccompanied! Lots of people do this, very happily, and the vast majority of us are not pathetic at all! :)

I know you'll have a wonderful time. [emoji3]

You have a positive and fantastic attitude but the others.... well.... they don't really understand or want to.

I'm about to go on my first cruise ever after years of thinking I had to go with others and never going.

When people ask me who I'm going with I say "myself ". If they really are happy for me they say it's a great plan. Otherwise I don't listen [emoji6]!

My mother occasionally suggests people I could go with in the future but honestly I don't want to share a cabin so it would cost the same. I like my space too much.

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I would love to put the most positive spin on the comments your "peeps" have made, such as that they are truly concerned about you and are sincerely afraid that you will not enjoy yourself while traveling alone. And I do understand that it can seem quite scandalous -- morally questionable, for some people, but for most, just shockingly out-of-the-norm -- or selfish for a married person to travel without his or her spouse. Lots of people believe that a married person should reschedule his/her plans to travel when the spouse is available rather than traveling alone. It's just a normal reaction.

I know extremely few people who are willing to vacation alone -- most women, I think, would not even consider it because they are afraid to, and most have a negative view of it because they have never experienced the joys of solo travel: the total freedom to do what you want when you want, to spend as much time as you want enjoying what you like, to make decisions without having to accommodate others, to not have to listen to others' possible griping, etc. On the other hand, many folks who travel without their spouse might often think, "Oh I wish he/she could see this or do this with me," and possibly feel sad that they can't share the wonderful experiences they are having with their loved one. This is pretty natural, too.

So don't be too hard on your friends and family for their reaction to your plan. You are making a choice that many do not and would never make, and for this reason, they either think you are "brave," (because they wouldn't have the courage to do what you are doing) or that you are "wrong," because they wouldn't do it, so you shouldn't either.

Yes, jealousy might play into their reaction a little, but somehow I think if folks were jealous, their responses would be more like, "Oh, what a fabulous idea -- I wish I could do that!"

I agree with the posters who said that as long as your spouse is OK with the scheme, that's all that matters; but even that is projecting onto you a personal philosophy that may not apply to you.

And as for still being in the 1950's -- yes, many people still are! Many, many still people believe that women cannot travel safely alone, and many people I am sure believe that no woman would ever want to vacation without her husband... One good way to gauge this is to find out what people's reactions would be to the idea of your husband vacationing alone. If people are equally shocked at that idea as they are to your plan, then they are at least trying to think in a modern way. If they respond with, "Oh, that's a great idea -- you deserve it!" and especially if other men were to make comments like, "Hey, getting away from the old ball and chain, are you?" then they are living in the past... :rolleyes:

My first thought is: if it's okay with your husband, why is it anyone else's business?

I have to laugh at your having no one to talk to, as my impression is you'll be busy juggling all the new friends you make.

Don't let it bother you, sounds like they're the ones with a problem.

Thanks everyone. I knew you would be supportive. Yes, hubby is fine with it and understands perfectly the reason why I booked it.We still have a family holiday planned and our son is in his last year of high school and my daughter is overseas so its not as if I am leaving hubby with young children to manage. I am fine in my own company and am looking forward to have some much needed downtime on board. And yes next time I will keep my plans to myself which is a shame but its nice to have this forum to share my excitement. And yes,I will come back and report on my cruise.

I have met a number of people on cruises who sail without their spouses for various reasons. They, too, have heard the comments and seen the raised eyebrows but continue to cruise without their "other half" and enjoy it.

I started traveling solo about 30 years ago and at first got a lot of the "is it safe?" "are you nuts?" types of questions. When I came back happy and unscathed they finally gave up. Now they just ask me, "Where are you going next?"

I hope you have a wonderful time!

Now personally I'd never let Mrs Gut cruise without me, I like cruising too much for that, if she's going so am I.

Thanks everyone. I knew you would be supportive. Yes, hubby is fine with it and understands perfectly the reason why I booked it.We still have a family holiday planned and our son is in his last year of high school and my daughter is overseas so its not as if I am leaving hubby with young children to manage. I am fine in my own company and am looking forward to have some much needed downtime on board. And yes next time I will keep my plans to myself which is a shame but its nice to have this forum to share my excitement. And yes,I will come back and report on my cruise.

my favorite comment i have gotten while on a cruise when revealed i am there solo is "oh you are so brave!" Like really? I absolutely love cruising solo, actually prefer it lol. I just went with a friend and am more looking forward to my solo halloween cruise now. You will have no problem finding people to talk to. I never attend the solo meet and greats and have always met people. Life is too short to wait around for someone to go with if you really want to go. That s my motto so i cruise often solo. Have a great cruise.

I too have heard the "you're so brave" comments when people hear I'm cruising solo. I even had a cruise ship wait staff as she escorted me to my table one ask me a baffled "why" when I told her I was sailing solo. I love traveling solo doing what I want when I want. I even enjoy dining solo some nights and just people watching and chatting with the wait staff they can be so much fun. I love doing the meet and greet through the roll calls and slot pulls but I don't usually do the solo meet ups on the ship.

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Hi all,

 

I am excitedly looking forward to my first solo cruise next month.

 

I am a married woman who has cruised twice before with family but as they are not able to join me for work/study reasons and I desperately needed a cruise, I decided to book a solo cruise.

 

The reaction has been resoundingly negative from family, friends and co-workers. Apparently, I should not travel without my husband (seriously?), cruising solo is a sign of having no friends and is embarrassing, I will have no-one to talk to and I am being really "brave" (eye-roll).

 

I suspect they are secretly jealous.

 

Anyways, I plan to have a great time and hopefully this will be the first of many.

Or, maybe they really believe those things......and that's up to them. Maybe they are really afraid of traveling alone, and so they really think you are brave (the fact you don't see it as bravery is immaterial). Maybe they really don't believe in separate vacations (from a spouse), and that's OK.....you don't have to believe the same things you do.

So what?

You don't need to diminish their opinions by deciding that they're jealous -- just go and enjoy.

I think the stereotypes get applied to both genders. Women are "brave", men are "creepy". Neither are applicable. Im very happily married and am fortunate enough to take a minimum of 3 trips a year. One solo. One with girlfriends. One with hubby. I love each for different reasons. My solo trips are not limited to cruising but when I do cruise solo the one word that comes to mind is "easy." Cruising solo is so relaxing and solo trips in general can be quite empowering. I think solo trips help keep me healthy as well. It is the ultimate gift to yourself :). Enjoy!!

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Not uncommon, some people do not like to cruise, some do separate vacations, not for us, but again your choice. I cruised a lot when single always by myself

While I'm not married, I can relate. I have been on 10 or 11 cruises solo, a couple with my grandson, and a couple with my sister. While I dearly love my grandson and sister, I enjoy my solo cruises much more than the ones with them. I always get a balcony and spend most of my time there reading and gazing at the sea. I can eat what I want whenever I want. I've closed the curtain and made it dark, ordered room service, watched a movie and napped, with nobody to make me feel lazy or guilty. I've met some nivce fellow cruisers but prefer to remain a loner. I've never felt unsafe or lonely. I LOVE solo cruising - and travel in general - soloed to Hong Kong, Italy, France, Mexico, and some islands too. I see way more solo females than men, and I know more women who have, or would, go solo than I know men. Not sure why, just my personal experience. I really do feel a little sorry for people who would never in a million years think of traveling solo. Sure, some wouldn't like it if they tried it, but many would!!

DO it!!!

OP - I suspect they are secretly jealous as well. You're going to have a fantastic time. I took my first solo cruise in 2012 and loved it, and have a 2nd one coming up in January. Also happily married, but sometimes I just enjoy getting away and not worrying about anyone but me. :)

I made final payment last week, and while on the phone, the agent mentions that she didn't have any information for my traveling companion. I let her know that it was just me this time, and so no need for additional info. After a loooooooong pause, she responds, "Well. Bless your heart." in a slightly snippy tone. I was annoyed at first, but now all I do is laugh about it. I don't know how I offended her by traveling without my husband, but it seems I did. :rolleyes: She doesn't know what she's missing by traveling solo! :cool:

AND remember, some people don't do anything by themselves:rolleyes:

Eating out, going to the movies, etc......in my opinion, those are sad souls.

Going on a cruise? It would NEVER occur to some folks that traveling solo

is even an option....that is (in my opinion) their loss.

I have not cruised alone, although I will be doing so next year, but I've traveled alone in a non-cruise way a number of times. Normally, traveling with others isn't even really much of an option--no spouse, etc. So either I do it by myself or I don't do it at all.

As I'm not married, I don't have firsthand experience with this, but my understanding has been that it's normal and very healthy for couples to have separate interests and activities, which can include separate vacations. I mean hell, you see each other every freaking day of the year. What the hell does 7 days matter? And it seems like it'd be good for people to talk to new people and have new experiences.

As you note, it's not the 1950s anymore. Women can go out without a man. They can even hold down jobs. Crazy stuff!

I know a lot of women are afraid of going places by themselves, and that's unfortunate as hell. There are places I'd be hesitant to go, or places where I might rather have an organized tour, but I'm not too worried most of the time. I knew a woman once who tried to get her sister to go with her on a trip to Massachusetts (inside the US--not even foreign), and the sister wouldn't even leave her own town without someone to drive her and hold her hand the whole way (to be fair, it sounded like she had a controlling husband and a messed-up life). It was disheartening to think that there are women (or anyone) who just can't function on their own for more than an hour or so, or can't even go to another state without panicking.

Anyway, ignore the naysayers and have fun. Chat with people at dinner, meet people on excursions, or just be alone and do your own thing for a change. Get the whole bed to yourself, LOL.

I have not cruised alone, although I will be doing so next year, but I've traveled alone in a non-cruise way a number of times. Normally, traveling with others isn't even really much of an option--no spouse, etc. So either I do it by myself or I don't do it at all.

 

As I'm not married, I don't have firsthand experience with this, but my understanding has been that it's normal and very healthy for couples to have separate interests and activities, which can include separate vacations. I mean hell, you see each other every freaking day of the year. What the hell does 7 days matter? And it seems like it'd be good for people to talk to new people and have new experiences.

 

As you note, it's not the 1950s anymore. Women can go out without a man. They can even hold down jobs. Crazy stuff!

 

I know a lot of women are afraid of going places by themselves, and that's unfortunate as hell. There are places I'd be hesitant to go, or places where I might rather have an organized tour, but I'm not too worried most of the time. I knew a woman once who tried to get her sister to go with her on a trip to Massachusetts (inside the US--not even foreign), and the sister wouldn't even leave her own town without someone to drive her and hold her hand the whole way (to be fair, it sounded like she had a controlling husband and a messed-up life). It was disheartening to think that there are women (or anyone) who just can't function on their own for more than an hour or so, or can't even go to another state without panicking.

 

Anyway, ignore the naysayers and have fun. Chat with people at dinner, meet people on excursions, or just be alone and do your own thing for a change. Get the whole bed to yourself, LOL.

I know we're all different but if I was with Mrs Gut 24/7 it still wouldn't be enough.

I support the ops right to travel alone, but please don't critique those that would be together every second of every day if they could.

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas ..lol

Pretty much every one in my entire circle of friends, and the many people I have met around the world on my travels - are in couples who travel separately to each other because they have totally different interests to each other.

I dont recollect in the year or two that I was married many decades ago, that the marriage vows said "must be joined at the hip for rest of eternal life". How utterly dull that would be.

Take no notice of what your friends and family say. You are living your life - not theirs. No one has any right to judge your personal decisions and life choices.

I know we're all different but if I was with Mrs Gut 24/7 it still wouldn't be enough.

 

I support the ops right to travel alone, but please don't critique those that would be together every second of every day if they could.

Hear! Hear! Well said:)