Dress code and offending people

We are thinking about doing a TA cruise in October and it seems that the Queen Mary is the only ship that goes from New York (or Florida) to England. I have been reading all about dress codes, and I am concerned that we would be VERY uncomfortable on this ship. I am not a slob, but would sooner stick needles in my eyes than dress up formally! My husband gave up ties when he retired. My question is, could we survive without getting dressed up??? Someone suggested that if one doesn't want to dress up, one shouldn't cruise with Cunard. All well and fine, but no one else goes where we want to go at that time of the year. I don't want to be offensive, but surely there are some areas where folks like us can eat? No?

You can eat in the buffet (King's Court) or in your stateroom on formal nights. On non-formal nights you can eat in the MDR provided your husband will put on a jacket (no tie required).

We are thinking about doing a TA cruise in October and it seems that the Queen Mary is the only ship that goes from New York (or Florida) to England. I have been reading all about dress codes, and I am concerned that we would be VERY uncomfortable on this ship. I am not a slob, but would sooner stick needles in my eyes than dress up formally! My husband gave up ties when he retired. My question is, could we survive without getting dressed up??? Someone suggested that if one doesn't want to dress up, one shouldn't cruise with Cunard. All well and fine, but no one else goes where we want to go at that time of the year. I don't want to be offensive, but surely there are some areas where folks like us can eat? No?

Maybe Cunard isn't for you.

Or eat in the Buffet.

I understand you are more likely to be turned away from the MDR on Cunard than any other line, if not dressed to code.

Assuming you will be flying back one way from the cruise. You might wish to look into a repositioning cruise on a less formal cruise line. Many ships make the sail from Europe to the US in the fall to be in place for the winter Caribbean season. That way you get to sail the TA in your shorts and no one cares plus in many cases the fares are lower. Think about that.

We are thinking about doing a TA cruise in October and it seems that the Queen Mary is the only ship that goes from New York (or Florida) to England. I have been reading all about dress codes, and I am concerned that we would be VERY uncomfortable on this ship. I am not a slob, but would sooner stick needles in my eyes than dress up formally! My husband gave up ties when he retired. My question is, could we survive without getting dressed up??? Someone suggested that if one doesn't want to dress up, one shouldn't cruise with Cunard. All well and fine, but no one else goes where we want to go at that time of the year. I don't want to be offensive, but surely there are some areas where folks like us can eat? No?

Maybe Cunard IS for you. It just may be. Don't let anyone on here tell you it isn't. Eat in the buffet on formal nights. On regular nights bring a blazer for your husband. People on CC tend to overstate the "formal" dress requirements on Cunard by a factor of ten.

We are thinking about doing a TA cruise in October and it seems that the Queen Mary is the only ship that goes from New York (or Florida) to England. I have been reading all about dress codes, and I am concerned that we would be VERY uncomfortable on this ship. I am not a slob, but would sooner stick needles in my eyes than dress up formally! My husband gave up ties when he retired. My question is, could we survive without getting dressed up??? Someone suggested that if one doesn't want to dress up, one shouldn't cruise with Cunard. All well and fine, but no one else goes where we want to go at that time of the year. I don't want to be offensive, but surely there are some areas where folks like us can eat? No?

If you want an eastbound T/A in the Fall, QM2 is your only option. Repositionings (many to/from Florida ports) are eastbound in the Spring and Wsetbound in the Fall. You can expect two "formal" nights on a 7 day crossing - all that means is a dark suit and tie for a man and a dress or pant suit for a woman. If that is too much, those evening meals can be had in the "cafeteria" or your cabin.

But I do have a question: what would you or your husband wear if invited to a wedding or had to attend a funeral?

We are long time cruisers on a wide variety lines... Princess, Celebrity, HAL, Cunard and NCL most recently. Cunard is the most formal of all lines we have been on, if you can't manage the dress requirements stated here, then I would say Cunard is not for you unless you want to stick with the buffet or use Room Service.

Cunard is the most formal, Princess, Celebrity and HAL in the mid range and NCL totally flexible.

It is possible to go to England on other lines in the spring as some have already stated.

I hope you find what works for you.

We are thinking about doing a TA cruise in October and it seems that the Queen Mary is the only ship that goes from New York (or Florida) to England. I have been reading all about dress codes, and I am concerned that we would be VERY uncomfortable on this ship. I am not a slob, but would sooner stick needles in my eyes than dress up formally! My husband gave up ties when he retired. My question is, could we survive without getting dressed up??? Someone suggested that if one doesn't want to dress up, one shouldn't cruise with Cunard. All well and fine, but no one else goes where we want to go at that time of the year. I don't want to be offensive, but surely there are some areas where folks like us can eat? No?

If you did decide to eat in the buffet in order to avoid dressing up, you might nonetheless resent the overall formality of the ship. Would you feel like you were one of the lepers while other passengers passed by in black tie formal attire? Would white glove Afternoon Tea make you uncomfortable because the staff and atmosphere is so formal?

You're already having serious concerns about the ship and you haven't even booked yet. Queen Mary 2 is a very formal ship especially on transatlantics. Cunard isn't for you.

The dress rule is three formal nights per week on a transatlantic and two on other cruises.

Why is looking smart so objectionable? How would you dress if going to a decent restaurant?

It just seems such a waste to miss out on all the best bits. For almost half the trip, most of the ship will be out of bounds.

There's a guzzillion posts on the dress code and quite a few sensible suggestions. It might be worth a very small sacrifice.

Stewart

PS

or is is a wind up?

The dress rule is three formal nights per week on a transatlantic and two on other cruises.

 

Why is looking smart so objectionable? How would you dress if going to a decent restaurant?

 

It just seems such a waste to miss out on all the best bits. For almost half the trip, most of the ship will be out of bounds.

 

There's a guzzillion posts on the dress code and quite a few sensible suggestions. It might be worth a very small sacrifice.

 

Stewart

 

PS

or is is a wind up?

"Looking smart" is subjective. The time, money and effort it would take to dress up is simply something in which I have no interest. I am not being critical of those that get a kick out of such things, it is just not me.

I live in California, and there are oodles of very decent restaurants where one need not dress up. I haven't been to a formal wedding in years as others in my family are down to earth, outdoor types who tend to have weddings in places like Yosemite where a dress would NOT look smart! If a wedding demanded something formal, I would do my best to get out of going. If I HAD to dress up, I could, but I wouldn't like it. :)

In response to several other suggestions - We are thinking of a TA in October departing from the US, not the other way around. Thus, there do not seem to be many choices other than Cunard. We fly to Africa every year and I am looking for alternatives to the long flight. A ship seems like a nice alternative for part of the trip, and an opportunity to relax while en-route to my idea of the perfect vacation. I would not be the least bit embarrassed to not dress up, I just wanted to know if it is possible to do it without offending people.

Maybe Cunard IS for you. It just may be. Don't let anyone on here tell you it isn't. Eat in the buffet on formal nights. On regular nights bring a blazer for your husband. People on CC tend to overstate the "formal" dress requirements on Cunard by a factor of ten.

Thanks! Good to hear.:D

You will be fine during the day, the dress code only applies after 6pm in the evening.

Some people do use QM2 purely as transportation so if you are happy not to use the full facilities of the ship during the evenings you can certainly travel. You will be able to eat in the buffet or your cabin and use the Winter Garden for a drink/relaxing.

This is what the Cunard website has to say -

The dress code applies to all areas of the ship after 6.00pm each evening (Suggested attire for dress codes can be found under the question "Is there a dress code on board?").

 

On formal nights, passengers wishing to dress more casually are welcome to dine in the Kings Court (Queen Mary 2) or Lido (Queen Elizabeth & Queen Victoria) buffet restaurant and relax in the Winter Garden (Queen Mary 2 & Queen Victoria) or the Garden Lounge (Queen Elizabeth).

 

Please do not use other areas within the ship, including our Alternative Dining restaurants. Nearly all guests do adhere to the evening's dress code and this helps to set the ambience for the evening.

I have some pretty strong feelings about this. There are work-arounds: Hubbie can wear a black coat, black trousers & tie (which is what I do when a tux is too much to pack) and wife can be creative about looking good. But if this is too much for you, then not only will you be stuck in the buffet (King's Court) or room service for dinner, and you will be theoretically banished from much of the ship on formal nights. And there are a lot of formal nights. Personally I think King's Court is a horrible experience to be avoided, and something that Cunard needs to completely redo. So to spend all of that money on a crossing and be stuck in a down-market food court is a darn shame. And to miss out on all of the fabulous and elegant other public areas on formal nights is also a darn shame. So I recommend re-thinking your dress restrictions and making some simple compromises. Or otherwise just bagging Cunard. Other lines that do crossings (almost entirely re-positionings) are less restrictive. This is simply the way it is. Do the work-around or find some other way to cross the Atlantic.

Frankly we didn't see any evidence of the dress code being enforced in any venue at any time on our recent crossings. We saw people in shorts and t-shirts in the Brittania Restaurant and in the theatre, many men without jackets on non formal nights, plenty of men without ties on formal nights.

Personally we feel that if there is a dress code it should be adhered to, if only for the sake of other guests who have made an effort, but, based on our recent experiences, you won't have a problem if you decide not to.

In my experience nearly everybody does adhere to the dress code.

However, on all of my trips on QM2 I have seen a very few "underdressed" people moving about the ship (including formal nights) and by that I mean people wearing track suits or similar. I have never seen anybody confront them but nor have I seen them attempting to sit down in any of the formal bars or restaurants - they have just been passing through.

You are able, as others have said, to eat at the buffet and (for the moment at least) enjoy a drink in the Winter Garden.

On two of our trips there have been parties of Amish people who have used these areas as they too do not dress up.

During the day you will be fine. If you don't mind spending a considerable amount of money to find that most of the ship is off limits to you on formal nights then that is entirely your business.

I have never felt the ship to have an overly stuffy atmosphere. It has always felt friendly and accessible to me anyway.

No, I don't think Cunard is for you. You will be unwelcome in most areas of the ship on formal nights and though you may brazen it out as some do, you will feel eyes on you, not from the passengers but from the staff. There is no one as practiced as a Cunard bar waiter at making their disapproval obvious while at the same time being their polite, formal selves.

Of course you may be impervious to all this and will feel comfortable to be among the odd ones out. Me, I couldn't.

David.

No, I don't think Cunard is for you. You will be unwelcome in most areas of the ship on formal nights and though you may brazen it out as some do, you will feel eyes on you, not from the passengers but from the staff. There is no one as practiced as a Cunard bar waiter at making their disapproval obvious while at the same time being their polite, formal selves.

 

Of course you may be impervious to all this and will feel comfortable to be among the odd ones out. Me, I couldn't.

 

David.

A good waiter can do that so well!

We are thinking about doing a TA cruise in October and it seems that the Queen Mary is the only ship that goes from New York (or Florida) to England. I have been reading all about dress codes, and I am concerned that we would be VERY uncomfortable on this ship. I am not a slob, but would sooner stick needles in my eyes than dress up formally! My husband gave up ties when he retired. My question is, could we survive without getting dressed up??? Someone suggested that if one doesn't want to dress up, one shouldn't cruise with Cunard. All well and fine, but no one else goes where we want to go at that time of the year. I don't want to be offensive, but surely there are some areas where folks like us can eat? No?

I find this case sad, if the male is not prepared to wear a jacket each evening , and 3 evenings with a tie for the sake of his wife. I can not understand why a lot of American males would sooner turn up in jeans and T Shirt for their meals, but most of the American males do like to look smart along with their ladies who always look good. At least it looks like they have made an effort. You can eat in the Restaurant or Kings Court in shorts if you want at breakfast or lunch or in the Red Lion for lunch or go for afternoon tea. You could cross the Atlantic on other ships, but I am sure you would feel the movement of the ship in bad weather. Crossing the Atlantic with Cunard I would say it is an experience, loads of Brits and Americans do it each year. If you do book a crossing I really hope you enjoy it.:D

I dont understand the passengers self selection of wearing tux (versus suits) on formal nights. I left my tux in the closet at home.

But thats freedom of choice I think.

But its just a dinner on a cruise ship, we're not holding a meeting at versailles.

My secret thought is that the wifes make them wear the tux, its dress up night for the girls?

I dont understand the passengers self selection of wearing tux (versus suits) on formal nights. I left my tux in the closet at home.

But thats freedom of choice I think.

But its just a dinner on a cruise ship, we're not holding a meeting at versailles.

My secret thought is that the wifes make them wear the tux, its dress up night for the girls?

If you are going to wear a suit why not a tux, they take up the same space.

Frankly we didn't see any evidence of the dress code being enforced in any venue at any time on our recent crossings. We saw people in shorts and t-shirts in the Brittania Restaurant and in the theatre, many men without jackets on non formal nights, plenty of men without ties on formal nights.

 

Personally we feel that if there is a dress code it should be adhered to, if only for the sake of other guests who have made an effort, but, based on our recent experiences, you won't have a problem if you decide not to.

We have done quite a few T/A and have NEVER seen any one in Shorts at Dinner, at Lunch yes (Myself included at lunch) We have seen the Head Waiters turn men away with no jacket, and in our eyes that is what should be done. All F.A.Q. are in the back of Cunard Brochure regarding dress. The only time they turn a blind eye is on the first and last night of a cruise, as for shorts in the Theatre never on a Normal time show, maybe at the odd occasion went the late show is changed to a 7.00 start.;)

Earlier this month I was on a two-week cruise with a youngish male friend who has not worn a tie or formal shirt since he stopped working at a bank over 15 years ago. We survived! He did not enjoy the restrictions but he survived them.

On our first (informal) night he wore a jacket to the MDR and saw passengers in shorts and casual shirts. The next (informal) night he tried wearing a smart, expensive, shirt and trousers and was turned back at the door of the MDR while a woman in cheap hot pants was allowed in. C'est la vie. From then on he wore that same jacket every informal night, whether it matched or not. I might add that the head waiters at the door inspected him each night from the top of his spiky hair down to his shoes. It limited his range of clothes. I would have loved him to wear one of his Armani suits - but the jacket is sleeveless and he decided the staff might decide it's a waistcoat rather than a jacket and turn him away again.

The four formal nights were fun. On two of them he wore a smart navy suit. He is used to wearing it without a shirt, just a scarf. For the occasion I found a formal white shirt in a charity shop. I cut it down, removing sleeves and sides (making it an extended 'dickey'), and he wore that with a bow tie. It looked lovely but he was still way too hot because of the fabric round his neck, and almost passed out on the dance floor. On the other two nights he wore a black Armani suit with a mandarin collar and a silk scarf. No shirt and no tie - but they would not have shown up anyway if he'd worn them.

I love the dress code and I love dressing up, but this experience made me question things a lot. You can pay a couple of thousand pounds for an outfit and not be accepted - but you can be allowed into the MDR in a £20 outfit. It's all about the letter of the code and not the spirit of it. I accept that's the only way rules can be enforced but it was interesting seeing the other side of it.

I spoke to a waiter in the nearby bar while waiting for David to get his jacket that night. She said that the waiters have now been given permission to turn people away. She also said that she would not expect men to wear a jacket on the dance floor in the Queens Room. That was interesting in light of another thread on here a month ago.

As "price" of items may become an issue for all formal dining venues.

Shall we now consider the enforced exclusion for those whose jewellery is not real, or not having a very high price point. ;)

Now this would be interesting! :D

I find this case sad, if the male is not prepared to wear a jacket each evening , and 3 evenings with a tie for the sake of his wife. I can not understand why a lot of American males would sooner turn up in jeans and T Shirt for their meals, but most of the American males do like to look smart along with their ladies who always look good. At least it looks like they have made an effort. You can eat in the Restaurant or Kings Court in shorts if you want at breakfast or lunch or in the Red Lion for lunch or go for afternoon tea. You could cross the Atlantic on other ships, but I am sure you would feel the movement of the ship in bad weather. Crossing the Atlantic with Cunard I would say it is an experience, loads of Brits and Americans do it each year. If you do book a crossing I really hope you enjoy it.:D

Sadly, vast swatches of the United States have become waste lands as far as tradition or even fine living goes. In many places wearing a tie brands you as being a member of law enforcement and many consider changing out to a heavier weight plastic and upgrading the paper napkin to be fine dining. So it is a chore for Cunard to market its ships in the US as upscale experiences when the ,majority of the public are into BBQ stands and T shirts

But its just a dinner on a cruise ship, we're not holding a meeting at versailles.

My secret thought is that the wifes make them wear the tux, its dress up night for the girls?

Thankfully there are still a number of gentlemen who enjoy the tradition of liner life and wear the requested attire. Others do it because they wish to please the wife as she may love to wear gowns and have a dance or two. Even on Main Street USA, I find it appalling to see the lady dressed well headed off to dinner with her significant other dressed as if just coming off the lawn mower complete with ball cap. No sense of care whatsoever in my opinion.