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M/F couples at Friends of Dorothy meetings?


FredandErincruise
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Would a man/woman couple be welcome at a FOD meeting? My wife is openly bisexual and is very interested in going to one but doesn't want to go alone. Is this unusual?

 

It is not unusal, just rare. You would be welcome, "Frends OD"

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Most lines have scrapped "FOD" in favor of "LGBT," which would include "B," of course. I'd have no problem with you two, though I'm not crazy about avowed hets who come to LGBT get-togethers because they find us amusing. But if push came to shove, you could tell folks you were female-to-male. ;)

 

BTW, I grew up in Yardley...

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Most lines have scrapped "FOD" in favor of "LGBT," which would include "B," of course. I'd have no problem with you two, though I'm not crazy about avowed hets who come to LGBT get-togethers because they find us amusing. But if push came to shove, you could tell folks you were female-to-male. ;)

 

BTW, I grew up in Yardley...

 

Hi Shepp, I'm guessing you meant amusing as in odd? I am het and I do find most people who live "alternative lifestyles" amusing. Or maybe I just find almost everyone who doesn't so boring. What is female-to-male? Do you miss Yardley? I've lived there for 10 years and in the general area for 2 years, and I still haven't decided if I like it or not yet.:)

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Would a man/woman couple be welcome at a FOD meeting? My wife is openly bisexual and is very interested in going to one but doesn't want to go alone. Is this unusual?

 

I can't imagine anyone having any problem with you going - so long as you don't take offense if any guys end up hitting on you!

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Would a man/woman couple be welcome at a FOD meeting? My wife is openly bisexual and is very interested in going to one but doesn't want to go alone. Is this unusual?

 

Probably yes. However, there isn't any hard or fast rules who is allow or not allow at these gatherings. If you wife wants to go...by all means go. I don't see why you can't go along, but you should upfront in a nice way that you are a married couple, but your women is openly bisexual and she really wants to socialize with other like minded people. I think most people are pretty cool and probably could care less what your situation is. Ignore the ones that do. I think the whole purpose of these gatherings is to socialize with like minded and/or accepting people is a non judgmental environment. Who know you might end up making some really nice friends. Why don't you start a roll call for your cruise on the G&L Roll call board if there isn't one already. That way you've already made some connections with some GLBT people before the cruise.

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Hi Shepp, I'm guessing you meant amusing as in odd? I am het and I do find most people who live "alternative lifestyles" amusing. Or maybe I just find almost everyone who doesn't so boring. What is female-to-male? Do you miss Yardley? I've lived there for 10 years and in the general area for 2 years, and I still haven't decided if I like it or not yet.:)

 

Not to stir up a hornet's nest, but...there was a query on this board from a straight-identified woman who likes hanging out with gay men, and wanted to know if she'd be welcome to attend LGBT meetings. My feeling was that there are plenty of other opportunities on a cruise to get to know gay guys besides "crashing" (her word, not mine) a queer-specific space. Others here felt differently.

 

(I mean, my partner and I, stereotypically enough, have tended to bond onboard with middle-aged women traveling without men. That doesn't mean, though, that I'd show up at a Red Hat Ladies' meeting.)

 

In any case, LGBT meetings aren't exclusive feeling. I remember a mother-and-(cute) son combo who showed up at meetings on a HAL cruise. I could never figure out whether it was a straight Mom supporting her gay son, the straight son of a lesbian mom, or whether both were LGBT...and as far as I know, nobody asked.

 

A "female-to-male" guy is a transsexual who identifies as male, but was born with female anatomy. He may be on testosterone and/or have had surgery, or may not.

 

I haven't been to Yardley for more than a brief visit for many decades. I miss a spring day at Afton Pond, maybe a trip to New Hope. Oh, and the relative proximity to Six Flags Great Adventure is a plus for us coasterfans. But my heart's steadfastly in San Francisco. Today it's not even foggy.

 

And yes, we are fabulously non-boring.

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Would a man/woman couple be welcome at a FOD meeting? My wife is openly bisexual and is very interested in going to one but doesn't want to go alone. Is this unusual?

 

Since the location of the Friends of Dorothy is usually in a public place which isn't closed off, like a bar, plenty of other folks are around. Sometimes they strike up a conversation with FODs and other times not. I don't ignore anyone who shows up at the bar and talk with everyone. I'm laid back. I say go and who cares! Have a good time. :)

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Not to stir up a hornet's nest, but...there was a query on this board from a straight-identified woman who likes hanging out with gay men, and wanted to know if she'd be welcome to attend LGBT meetings. My feeling was that there are plenty of other opportunities on a cruise to get to know gay guys besides "crashing" (her word, not mine) a queer-specific space. Others here felt differently.

 

(I mean, my partner and I, stereotypically enough, have tended to bond onboard with middle-aged women traveling without men. That doesn't mean, though, that I'd show up at a Red Hat Ladies' meeting.)

 

In any case, LGBT meetings aren't exclusive feeling. I remember a mother-and-(cute) son combo who showed up at meetings on a HAL cruise. I could never figure out whether it was a straight Mom supporting her gay son, the straight son of a lesbian mom, or whether both were LGBT...and as far as I know, nobody asked.

 

A "female-to-male" guy is a transsexual who identifies as male, but was born with female anatomy. He may be on testosterone and/or have had surgery, or may not.

 

I haven't been to Yardley for more than a brief visit for many decades. I miss a spring day at Afton Pond, maybe a trip to New Hope. Oh, and the relative proximity to Six Flags Great Adventure is a plus for us coasterfans. But my heart's steadfastly in San Francisco. Today it's not even foggy.

 

And yes, we are fabulously non-boring.

I just may be that person on our upcoming cruise. Our 18 yo son came out to us about a year ago, and I am hoping that he will want to attend the FOD or LGBT groups on our family cruise. He can be a bit shy, so he will probably want me to go with him the first time <insert joke here re: mama's boy>... Thanks for letting me know that I should be treated respectfully. What I am really hoping for is that he will get over the shy thing before December and will feel comfortable venturing out on his own. :)

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I just want to say you are an awesome Mom and your Son is very lucky! I hope all of you enjoy your cruise in December. BTW my partner and I have two Dachs, assume you might also be a Dachs lover based on picture!

Edited by jeffreytx
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I just want to say you are an awesome Mom and your Son is very lucky! I hope all of you enjoy your cruise in December. BTW my partner and I have two Dachs, assume you might also be a Dachs lover based on picture!

Thanks for that. I just want my son to be safe, happy, and loved.

As for the dachshund--he THINKS he is my other child... I don't have the heart to tell him differently!:)

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Several times we've had non-gay couples at our FOD's. Often, non-gay women also. The reason they asked if they could join was because our group was having fun.

Bryan and Roger

no single non-gay men though. YET! lol

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Several times we've had non-gay couples at our FOD's. Often, non-gay women also. The reason they asked if they could join was because our group was having fun.

 

And around we go. My view - previously expressed, to some disagreement - is that there are ample opportunities onboard for straight and LGBT people to all mingle together onboard - at least 23 hours every day.

 

It's not that I'm heterophobic - hell, some of my best friends are straight ;). And it's not that I think we should keep the secret handshake under wraps, or am anxious that outsiders not discover the details of the Gay Agenda. It's just that...well, let's put it this way. If I came across a meeting for, say, lesbians or gay transmen or African-American gay men, and they were having fun, I would not ask - or even want - to join them; I'd respect their space. I know, I know...I'm old fashioned.

 

Of course, this is all complicated by the lines usually scheduling queer meets in high-traffic bar areas...less for our convenience, I'm betting, than in pursuit of our bar tabs. Het by-passers, spotting a group of über-stylishly dressed, fabulously witty same-sex couples, might not even know it was a specifically LGBT-denominated gathering. And their asking "May we join you?" puts the queer attendees in a Miss Manners spot. What can you say, "No, it's our treehouse and you can't play?"

 

FODs are not in fact gay/straight alliance meetings, which generally have political overtones. (And, believe me, I would be quite cheerful if I met a straight passenger who asked, "So if you guys can't get legally married, is there something I could do to help change that?" Hasn't happened yet.) Bottom line: If LGBT meetings become LGBTH meetings, then why have them at all?

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And around we go. My view - previously expressed, to some disagreement - is that there are ample opportunities onboard for straight and LGBT people to all mingle together onboard - at least 23 hours every day.

 

I tend to agree. And I suspect that many others do as well, even though they say the opposite. In my mind, the attendance is the best evidence of this. The best attended meetings I've been to are those where it isn't mixed. Many of us show up because this is our opportunity to meet and socialize with other LGBTs on board. When it starts to become a mixed group sitting together, many people stop showing up regularly.

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And around we go. My view - previously expressed, to some disagreement - is that there are ample opportunities onboard for straight and LGBT people to all mingle together onboard - at least 23 hours every day.

 

It's not that I'm heterophobic - hell, some of my best friends are straight ;). And it's not that I think we should keep the secret handshake under wraps, or am anxious that outsiders not discover the details of the Gay Agenda. It's just that...well, let's put it this way. If I came across a meeting for, say, lesbians or gay transmen or African-American gay men, and they were having fun, I would not ask - or even want - to join them; I'd respect their space. I know, I know...I'm old fashioned.

 

Of course, this is all complicated by the lines usually scheduling queer meets in high-traffic bar areas...less for our convenience, I'm betting, than in pursuit of our bar tabs. Het by-passers, spotting a group of über-stylishly dressed, fabulously witty same-sex couples, might not even know it was a specifically LGBT-denominated gathering. And their asking "May we join you?" puts the queer attendees in a Miss Manners spot. What can you say, "No, it's our treehouse and you can't play?"

 

FODs are not in fact gay/straight alliance meetings, which generally have political overtones. (And, believe me, I would be quite cheerful if I met a straight passenger who asked, "So if you guys can't get legally married, is there something I could do to help change that?" Hasn't happened yet.) Bottom line: If LGBT meetings become LGBTH meetings, then why have them at all?

 

I guess that could be the same as a non-drinker who has never drank going to a "Friends of Bill Meeting". One of my pet peeves in the city I live in are all of the straight girls who prefer to go to the gay clubs. Furthermore, I do not support straight clubs that have one gay night a week.

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(And, believe me, I would be quite cheerful if I met a straight passenger who asked, "So if you guys can't get legally married, is there something I could do to help change that?" Hasn't happened yet.)

 

I think that most people that would ask that question already know the answers. I am straight, yet support HRC and other organizations/events that care about equal rights. (Not "you can get married but we're going to call it something else" crap, or "well, most people can do... " crap...)

 

I'm sure there are plenty of people that would be pro-equality and haven't the foggiest idea who to vote for or how to help make it happen. You could certainly enlighten them.

 

As for me, I live in a backwards-ass state, so it'll be a while in Florida, I'm afraid.

 

Sorry for the thread drift...

 

http://floridakeysgirl.com

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I just may be that person on our upcoming cruise. Our 18 yo son came out to us about a year ago, and I am hoping that he will want to attend the FOD or LGBT groups on our family cruise. He can be a bit shy, so he will probably want me to go with him the first time <insert joke here re: mama's boy>... Thanks for letting me know that I should be treated respectfully. What I am really hoping for is that he will get over the shy thing before December and will feel comfortable venturing out on his own. :)

 

I don't know if son in interested in Cruisecritic Roll Calls, but maybe he should (or you) see if there is a Roll call blog on the G&L boards for your cruise. If he's shy this might be a good way for him to connect with a few people before the cruise and it might not be so awkward for him attending the GLBT gatherings alone. If there's isn't one he could start one for your sailing. If he wants you to attending with him by all means do so. I just think it important to let people know your and his situation is a nice and discreet way so there's no embarrassing situation. Who knows he might find a few nice people to hang with during the cruise. Here's the link:

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/forumdisplay.php?f=686

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We had a bi guy and his girlfriend join us at the FOD meetings on the Grand Princess. They were a fun couple. I have a poly friend who would be welcomed to bring her girlfriend and boyfriend if I'm around.

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