You are not pathetic at all. I've done many solo cruises and it always amazes me how on a ship with thousands of passengers, you can feel as if you're the only one traveling solo. The last cruise I did pre-pandemic was on Norwegian's Pride of America to Hawaii in January 2020. I'm glad I went; Hawaii was lovely and it turned out to be my only vacation in 2020 (who knew?). But I definitely felt like the only solo person there. I did attend the "solo meeting" early in the week and no one else showed up. I had a great conversation with the event host which was fine.
The worst was when I was cruising with a group (Road Scholar) and I had my own cabin, as I always do, even when I cruise with family. The steward said "you don't have any friends?" Of all the nerve! And that wasn't even a true solo cruise, unlike most of my cruises.