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Spif Barwunkel

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About Spif Barwunkel

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  1. As long as there is a global pandemic in our lives, to which scientists and soothsayers cannot reliably predict when a somewhat antiseptic environment will return, vacation plans of any kind seem trivial and illogical. There will be no more cruising in 2020 and perhaps far into 2021, thanks to this inimical invader that continues to have it's way, worldwide. That is a cold, hard fact. No. Celebrity, et al, should not offer reservations, much less accept reservations for future cruise dates. There is too much uncertainty and trepidation, without a modicum of reason as to when the next truly valid sailing date will occur. Until that date, there is much to be done by the entire travel industry. Better to work hard in-house to survive these hard times, rather than rely on passengers past and future to book - at least for now - a cruise to nowhere. When "global pandemic" is no longer a part of our vocabulary and the ramifications become clear and present but no longer a danger, that will be the time for everyone to start planning once again.
  2. On the road and beautiful Powerscourt Gardens. Dublin, Ireland. Silhouette, August 2017.
  3. Two men were driving home one night when one asked the other to check if the car’s indicators are working. He promptly sticks his head out the window and says: “Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”
  4. “I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War, my great uncle fought for the west!”–
  5. Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. “I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?” The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
  6. After my wife accidentally swallowed my prostate medication, our daughter called a pharmacist to ask whether there was any cause for alarm. He replied, “Only if she starts hanging out at hardware stores and buys a lot of power tools.”
  7. My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the zoo.
  8. You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
  9. I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.
  10. I have no cruise or lava cake withdrawal symptoms. On the other hand, my wife is showing signs of abolition. She will exit the bed on the port side and make her way to the dining room, being sure to let the room steward know that she would like the room to be made-up before her return. She calls the room steward, honey. I'm okay with that and it seems the room is indeed tidy and neat when she returns from breakfast. As she gets more into a beautiful day she will occasionally order room service on the balcony porch, making absolutely sure that the waiter knows how much his prompt service is appreciated. She calls the waiter, honey. I'm okay with that because it's great service with a smile. As evening approaches, it's Martini, Old Fashioned, or wine time at her favorite bar. The bartender has gotten to know her well and can tell by the look on her face what she desires. Immediately, her drink of choice is delivered. There is no Martini Flight extravaganza this night. She says, "I am okay with that, honey." Following a delicious meal in the MDR and an entertaining show(s), she returns to the room where the bed is attractively turned down, awaiting her arrival. There are no chocolates on the pillow, by request. She is on a diet. When ready, she gets into bed from the port side. She will not fall asleep for awhile, too busy reading, answering texts and checking out activities for the next day. So you see, no cruise or lava cake withdrawals for me. On the other hand, my wife, well you get the idea....honey.
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