Tuxedo – Really Necessary?

My boyfriend and I are leaving on the Whisper in November for the Ft Lauderdale to Colon cruise. Recently my boyfriend has been doing some surfing about what to expect from the cruise, and came across the mention of a Tuxedo for the formal nights. He did say that he had read that most wear Tuxedos but you can still wear a dark suit. He really just doesn’t want to feel uncomfortable.

Can he wear one of the MANY dark suits he owns? Or do we need to buy a Tuxedo for the cruise, since SS does not have rental on board?

Any thought are welcome!

Thanks-

Dena

You read correctly that most do wear tuxedos...but there will be others who do not. Just go ...and enjoy your cruise. Everyone on board looks nice..that is what counts. If your boyfriend is comfy in his dark suit..so be it!

I will say this, years ago when my husband got his first tux...he thought he would never wear it...! He turned out to love being a penquin...refers to himself as JAMES BOND.

My husband always wears a dark suit - he has never looked out of place, he even gives the bow tie a miss and wears dressed up ties, some sparkly, some silver etc and everyone comments on his ties - so guests don't even look at his suits, just his very dressy formal ties.

I agree with others that the key is to relax and just enjoy your time together. HOWEVER, you mentioned that your boyfriend does not want to feel uncomfortable.....well, then to really fit in he will wear a tux like the great majority of the men.......it all depends on how standing out in the crowd will make him feel. My hubby and I have taken two SS cruises, and on neither one did he have a tux. The last time there were a couple of men in white dinner jackets, one man in a kilt and dresswear for that, and the rest were in tuxes. He said he would never again take SS without a tux packed. Apparently his feelings of discomfort were such that he would not do that again.......so, thats why I say, only your boyfriend knows how likely he is to be uncomfortable in a suit rather than a tux on formal evenings.

Keep in mind you can dine in your suite on those evenings. Also keep in mind that on formal nights you are expected to be in evening dress throughout the night in public spaces - not just during dinner.

Dena,

From what you've said (and sort of implied) your boyfriend will feel more comfortable in a dark suit and doesn't want to buy rent or be in a tux. Ignore any advice to the contrary and encourage him to wear a dark suit.

The published dress code is there to give you and your boyfriend a range of acceptable choices to you within the framweork and anyone posting here who is trying to overide the clear advice the SS give (and that is that dark suites are perfectly acceptable on formal nights) and impose their own wishes should simply be ignored. It is selfish of anyone to advise you to do something that makes you uncomfortable or try to scare you into believing that he will feel out of place. He won't. He is going there to enjoy himself not to attend a fancy dress party and wear clothes that make him uncomfortable.

I hope that this is clear enough to encourage you to relax!

My boyfriend and I are leaving on the Whisper in November for the Ft Lauderdale to Colon cruise. Recently my boyfriend has been doing some surfing about what to expect from the cruise, and came across the mention of a Tuxedo for the formal nights. He did say that he had read that most wear Tuxedos but you can still wear a dark suit. He really just doesn’t want to feel uncomfortable.

 

 

 

Can he wear one of the MANY dark suits he owns? Or do we need to buy a Tuxedo for the cruise, since SS does not have rental on board?

 

 

 

Any thought are welcome!

 

 

 

Thanks-

 

Dena

Ok heres my thought,I dont know how old you,and are you going to be invited to a few formal affairs in the next few years?I am sure your friends will be getting married and your bf might want to keep a tuxedo in his wardrobe just in case.I found out long ago that renting tux for weddings and such is very expensive,Where as if he bought a Tux for around $300 or so,(My wife says they all look alike anyway.)Maybe this is a good time to go out and get one.Just a thought ,and have a great trip.

Dena,

Just the fact that you are aware of dress codes, are interested in people's opinions and other general rules of thumb tells me that you and your boyfriend will be fine with either decision. If he has "many" dark suits to choose from, it sounds as if his closet is full of dressy clothes. Some men's suits today are made of such fine fabric and with excellent quality, they are just as nice if not nicer than tuxedos. Afterall, how many men go out and buy a new tux each year?? Some could be 10 years old or more.

You will be fine. Have a great time, enjoy and meet new friends. You sound like a sharp couple.

Lisa

Lots of tux salespeople around these days!

uk1, perhaps we understood the use of the poster's phrase, "my boyfriend doesn't want to be uncomfortable" differently. I interpreted that as psychologically uncomfortable, not physically uncomfortable. If you are in a suit, nice as it may be, and all around you you see tuxes, some men may "feel uncomfortable" - they may feel they stand out in a negative way. Just because you would not feel out of place, doesn't mean others might not feel that way. Just a clarification - we all vary as to our "comfort level" with modes of dress, and how much we stand out from the crowd.

BTW - no tux saleswoman here........only trying to consider how others may feel.....

Well .... that's not ENTIRELY true is it! As well you know ..... you naughty lady.

To remind you the heading on the original post was "Tuxedo – Really Necessary? " . There is only one answer to that specific question and that is "no".

As you are very well aware, some people feel that they are involved in a personal and vigilant battle to "preserve" standards and seek to "encourage" people ro dress up. This is against the current trend.

This is very selfish of those that do it because it's intended to put their own desires and wants about their cruise experience and what they want other people to wear above what other people might want themselves and they often purposefully make others who are seeking reassurance that a dark suit is fine feel concerned and unecesarily uncomfortable - when they shouldn't. They are opportunistic because they are dealing with someone who has already indicated that they feel vulnerable and they tip them into their own view because they hint that they might feel out of place and place subtle pressure on them to comply with their personal fantasy of what they want their cruise to be.

You are right in that the advice is given under the guise of being helpful to the other person when in reality it's intended to preserve what they want of the cruise experience themselves. I know that this post will receive some idignant responses but we all know that what I'm saying is true and I'm not saying this is all of the advice being given but it is certainly behind some.

The bottm line is that any advice that is stronger or different than that given by the cruise line ie "either" tux or dark suit whichever you prefer - should be ignored.

I agree with luxlady. Knowing that most men will be wearing tuxedos, but not all, it's a personal decision.

Something else to keep in mind... none of the officers will be wearing tuxedos. They'll be in formal uniform. I suspect that noone eating with them at their table will be uncomfortable without their own white jacket and epaulets.

UK, I truly believe you are way off the mark here. The original poster asked if her boyfriend would feel uncomfortable with wearing a dark suit as opposed to a tuxedo. I dont think she implied anything about her boyfriends being uncomfortable about wearing a tuxedo but rather if he would be made to feel uncomfortable about wearing a suit. Big difference in my opinion.

To state that some of the folks that answered this thread are trying to scare folks into conformity is waaaay off the mark. Yes SS is a more formal cruiseline, but those who book it are well aware of that fact. Sorry to say if folks didnt want such a formal line there are other luxury lines out there that do not have such codes, but are rather country club casual all the time. When did the original poster state that they would feel vulnerable??? You should stop putting words into peoples posts UK, it is most unbecoming. The high horse that you take about casual dress is noted.... this hasnt been the first thread that you saddled up for. Out of curiosity - do you sell casual attire? You seem to accuse those who want a formal way of cruising as being tuxedo salesmen, I would love to know if you are a casual attire salesperson? Just a thought.....

Luxlady simply pointed out that the poster may feel more comfortable if her boyfriend was in a tux, especially is most men are dressed in one. She did not state in her post that by seeing a dark suit it would ruin her fantasy of what her cruise experience is to be. I know Luxlady and trust me when I say she is far from being the stuffy formal person you are leading folks to believe.

To even put "naughty lady" in your post UK was uncalled for. Give me a break. Just because she answered a question that disagreed with your opinion... sheesh!! Luxlady - you were right on the mark as others here have said.

Dena - bottom line, have your boyfriend wear whatever he feels most comfortable in. A dark suit would be perfectly acceptable, and no a tuxedo is not required. Bear in mind that Caribbean cruises are also a bit less formal than those in Europe, so I am sure that others will be dressed in a suit as well. Silverseas is a wonderful cruiseline and I am sure the two of you will be spoiled rotten. Have a great time on your cruise and a wonderful time enjoying all that SS has to offer.

A dark suit is fine. Your boyfriend won't be alone in wearing one, and in any case, dark suits are explicitly encouraged (along with tuxedos) in the dress code.

Lovescrusin,

Nope - you are way off beam. As I said - the original post was headed

"Tuxedo – Really Necessary? "

And the ONLY answer to that is NO! Comprendez?

UK,

Je comprends, vous?

As we have all said, a dark suit is totally acceptable if the person will feel comfortable wearing one. But none of those who answered the original question are trying to sway the original poster to conform to their way of cruising as you have stated. I ask again, je comprends, vous??

I have to agree that you should wear what you feel comfortable in and what is within SS guidelines. I can see the point that Luxlady was trying to make by sharing how her husband felt uncomfortable being in the manority wearing a dark suit when the majority was wearing a tux. I did not see how you, UK1 jumped to the conclusion that Luxlady and perhaps others were trying to push their personal preferences. I think she was simply offering an opinion and sharing her story. You on the other hand were rude and unfriendly in your response to her by calling her a naughty lady and implying that she was not telling the truth. Not in the spirit of the community guidelines!

I can see why the question is asked particularly if you haven't seen the earlier identical threads and vigorous debates.

It is because we have had this debate before - several times - and the same people expressed very strong views before about what they wanted. They remember it well - but I can understand why some may not know the history.

The issue is that some like sequins and tux. It's a fantasy fancy dress world where they look forward to the dressing up and the fantasy and spell is broken for them if the rest of us don't comply. " Look at some of the "handles".

They will not accept that imposing this on others is cutting off the life-blood of new and younger potential customers who can and want to spend the cash but do not want to dress up - and more importantly - is selfish. Because they want it, and because want to ensure that what they see as "standards" don't drop. They see SS as the preserve of the sequin bunch. So those that want to preserve this aren't ALL "trying to help" - but some are trying to preserve the product they want against the tide of the trend and are advising under the pretense of helping people feel comfortable.

I repeat that the only advice that someone who genuinely wants to help someone who has asked is a "Tuxedo – Really Necessary" is NO!

The proof is this. No if's, but's or maybe's it is what YOU want and the important word in the question was "really".

The reason for the question is that my boyfriend and I are under thirty and want to enjoy the SilverSea life and not downgrade it for the rest of you. Being both from Chicago and in professional careers we have no problem socializing with all people, but we also want to fit in clothing wise because our ages already makes us stick out enough.

I personally have no problem with being the center of attention, but the boyfriend just want to fit in. I guess I could just wear a red cocktail dress and take all attention away from him! ;)

I thank you all for your comments and answers

Dena – The one in RED!

I knew you were sharp!!

Lisa

UK1, how presumptuous of you to suggest that because someone has a handle of "lux" or similar handle that they are trying to force their ideas of sequins and formal dress code on others. It is simply a huge leap taken by you and unfair in my opinion. Also your assumption that because someone does not agree with your views that somehow the rest of us are ignorant of past debates and posts is also offensive and condescending. The board is open to everyone's opinion and ideas and to suggest that only yours is the correct answer is ludicrous. I, for one, would prefer that the cruiselines have less formal and more CCC but that's just me. I doubt that the formal dress code would stop the new life blood from trying the luxury lines if they were seriously interested but what certainly would turn them off is a hostile and know it all attitude. No one wants to cruise with unfriendly and toffee nosed people. You provide excellent cruising information to the board but that does not give you the right to be disrespectful to other posters which in my opinion you have demonstrated in this thread........chill out please and play nice.

No problem here, so don't worry about it and enjoy your cruise.

I'm sure you will look lovely in red and your boyfriend will be handsome in his dark suit.

UK1, how presumptuous of you to suggest that because someone has a handle of "lux" or similar handle that they are trying to force their ideas of sequins and formal dress code on others. It is simply a huge leap taken by you and unfair in my opinion. Also your assumption that because someone does not agree with your views that somehow the rest of us are ignorant of past debates and posts is also offensive and condescending. The board is open to everyone's opinion and ideas and to suggest that only yours is the correct answer is ludicrous. I, for one, would prefer that the cruiselines have less formal and more CCC but that's just me. I doubt that the formal dress code would stop the new life blood from trying the luxury lines if they were seriously interested but what certainly would turn them off is a hostile and know it all attitude. No one wants to cruise with unfriendly and toffee nosed people. You provide excellent cruising information to the board but that does not give you the right to be disrespectful to other posters which in my opinion you have demonstrated in this thread........chill out please and play nice.

Glad you enjoyed my posts - very much appreciate the comments!

presumptuous

offensive

condescending

ludicrous

hostile

know it all attitude

unfriendly

toffee nosed

disrespectful

I wish I could be as polite as you dear chap - but I suppose if I practise a bit!

UK1, it's funny how one can take something that they started and somehow twist it to be someone elses fault. Dear chap, I fear it's hopeless. Oh and for your information it is Canada "gal" not chap......wrong gender ol boy. Have a good evening in spite of our differences.

UK1, it's funny how one can take something that they started and somehow twist it to be someone elses fault. Dear chap, I fear it's hopeless. Oh and for your information it is Canada "gal" not chap......wrong gender ol boy. Have a good evening in spite of our differences.

In England dear boy, we always call our gals chaps.

UK, I truly believe you are way off the mark here. The original poster asked if her boyfriend would feel uncomfortable with wearing a dark suit as opposed to a tuxedo. I dont think she implied anything about her boyfriends being uncomfortable about wearing a tuxedo but rather if he would be made to feel uncomfortable about wearing a suit. Big difference in my opinion.

 

To state that some of the folks that answered this thread are trying to scare folks into conformity is waaaay off the mark. Yes SS is a more formal cruiseline, but those who book it are well aware of that fact. Sorry to say if folks didnt want such a formal line there are other luxury lines out there that do not have such codes, but are rather country club casual all the time. When did the original poster state that they would feel vulnerable??? You should stop putting words into peoples posts UK, it is most unbecoming. The high horse that you take about casual dress is noted.... this hasnt been the first thread that you saddled up for. Out of curiosity - do you sell casual attire? You seem to accuse those who want a formal way of cruising as being tuxedo salesmen, I would love to know if you are a casual attire salesperson? Just a thought.....

 

Luxlady simply pointed out that the poster may feel more comfortable if her boyfriend was in a tux, especially is most men are dressed in one. She did not state in her post that by seeing a dark suit it would ruin her fantasy of what her cruise experience is to be. I know Luxlady and trust me when I say she is far from being the stuffy formal person you are leading folks to believe.

To even put "naughty lady" in your post UK was uncalled for. Give me a break. Just because she answered a question that disagreed with your opinion... sheesh!! Luxlady - you were right on the mark as others here have said.

 

Dena - bottom line, have your boyfriend wear whatever he feels most comfortable in. A dark suit would be perfectly acceptable, and no a tuxedo is not required. Bear in mind that Caribbean cruises are also a bit less formal than those in Europe, so I am sure that others will be dressed in a suit as well. Silverseas is a wonderful cruiseline and I am sure the two of you will be spoiled rotten. Have a great time on your cruise and a wonderful time enjoying all that SS has to offer.

Look ..... the original post wasn't very long .... and I would have though there were insufficient words to misunderstand (even thought they were in English!). The post said:

"He did say that he had read that most wear Tuxedos but you can still wear a dark suit. He really just doesn’t want to feel uncomfortable.

Can he wear one of the MANY dark suits he owns? Or do we NEED to buy a Tuxedo for the cruise, since SS does not have rental on board?"

So who misunderstood the post?