Childs anxiety about cruise!

First and foremost, is it actually a true fear? or just a teenage "rebellion". If it is in fact a true fear, a professional may have to step in and evaluate her. If its a "rebellion" well then....parental control prevails...

I agree with this. True anxiety and panic needs to be treated by a professional. Once you start dealing with anxiety using avoidance it can start a much bigger life long problem.

I hope it's just a stubborn teenager because anxiety and panic is no joke. Good luck

 

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Some cruise lines offer a "story" through their line. It is a small pamphlet that you can download and then fill out information. She can fill in the cabin number, where the pool is located, etc. Being able to go through the information and fill in some of this may help her mentally prepare. It talks about the muster drill, the cabin steward, etc. Honestly, you may have to look for it through their special needs area- we downloaded it for our high functioning autistic son, but I think it might really help her as well. I know Royal Caribbean has this, but I believe some other lines have it as well.

Thanks for all the advice folks! Especially the Cliff Huxtable quote... Haha.

 

It's a more complex situation as she is does not live with us on a day to day basis (I'm a biweekly step mom) and so the idea of us being able to reinforce how the cruise will work and etc I said little harder when you can only do it every other weekend.

That being said, she essentially told her father that if he tried to take her on the ship she'd have a fit and she wouldn't get on the plane, let alone leave her mom's house. We have 3 other kids (2 mine, 1 his) that are excited for the cruise so the option of forcing her to go has been tossed back and forth. Her dad made the decision not to take her and she was relieved, needless to say her mother was upset and frustrated, but I'm really not discussing it further with them until she gets professional help.

 

Thanks again, for all the fyi! You guys are awesome!

 

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How's the relationship between your husband and his ex? Is it possible that she's appearing to support the idea of her going to your face, but behind your backs she's exacerbating her daughter's fears? Maybe out of jealousy or something. Let's face it, relationships with ex wives/husbands can be complicated enough as they are. When you add new marriages and kids into the mix, things can sometimes get ugly. In the end, if she's really that adamant about not going (it may sound mean) I think you're better off leaving her at home. There's always a chance, when it's all said and done, that she sees what she missed and regrets not going. It could change her mind if there's ever a next time. Have fun.

How's the relationship between your husband and his ex? Is it possible that she's appearing to support the idea of her going to your face, but behind your backs she's exacerbating her daughter's fears? Maybe out of jealousy or something. Let's face it, relationships with ex wives/husbands can be complicated enough as they are. When you add new marriages and kids into the mix, things can sometimes get ugly. In the end, if she's really that adamant about not going (it may sound mean) I think you're better off leaving her at home. There's always a chance, when it's all said and done, that she sees what she missed and regrets not going. It could change her mind if there's ever a next time. Have fun.

She will feel as though she missed out, but my role and encourager and promoter is limited. Once he made the decision, that's it. We won't discuss it further and I won't feel like she can mandate the dynamic anymore.

It's all new territory for me so I'm learning what will and what won't fly.

 

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She will feel as though she missed out, but my role and encourager and promoter is limited. Once he made the decision, that's it. We won't discuss it further and I won't feel like she can mandate the dynamic anymore.

It's all new territory for me so I'm learning what will and what won't fly.

 

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Been there, Done that. got the t-shirt.

 

You're role is difficult at best, love, support, and provide guidance to hubby, love "his" kids as if they are your own, but know when to back off no matter how difficult it may be.

How is the 12 year old going to reimburse her father for her cruise fare? That should be an important part of this equation since she is being allowed to make this decision to not go on a family trip that is paid for. "OK, you don't have to go, but you DO have to pay me back for the cruise fare by ____________________". (Mowing the lawn all summer, painting a room in the house, wash the family cars every other week, etc...). This is a great opportunity to teach the 12 year old that her decisions do have consequences and about the value of money spent on her behalf by her working off the debt. It's not a punishment, it is just having her do the right thing.

Sounds like you're doing the best you can. So from here on out enjoy planning your cruise, that's part of the fun. And Happy Sailing!

How's the relationship between your husband and his ex? Is it possible that she's appearing to support the idea of her going to your face, but behind your backs she's exacerbating her daughter's fears? Maybe out of jealousy or something. Let's face it, relationships with ex wives/husbands can be complicated enough as they are. When you add new marriages and kids into the mix, things can sometimes get ugly. In the end, if she's really that adamant about not going (it may sound mean) I think you're better off leaving her at home. There's always a chance, when it's all said and done, that she sees what she missed and regrets not going. It could change her mind if there's ever a next time. Have fun.

 

I was wondering the same thing....the ex being encouraging on the surface, yet behind the scenes, she could be sabotaging the trip. Another poster mentioned about the 12 yo paying you back by doing chores over the summer, etc., This is a great idea - decisions have consequences, and it's better she learn this now, even before the trip takes place.

LaneOT, this is a little aside piece of advice, but remember that you’ll need signed, notorized letters from the biological parents of the kids you’re taking. So, you will need the bio father’s permission to take your two kids, and your husband must have permission from the mother of his child to take the kids on the cruise. This is to prevent custodial issues with the parents who aren’t on the ship. If you don’t have those letters, you could be denied boarding.

 

What will be interesting to see how the 12 year old reacts when the kids come home raving about how totally great the cruise was.

LaneOT, this is a little aside piece of advice, but remember that you’ll need signed, notorized letters from the biological parents of the kids you’re taking. So, you will need the bio father’s permission to take your two kids, and your husband must have permission from the mother of his child to take the kids on the cruise. This is to prevent custodial issues with the parents who aren’t on the ship. If you don’t have those letters, you could be denied boarding.

 

What will be interesting to see how the 12 year old reacts when the kids come home raving about how totally great the cruise was.

My children are 18 and 20, respectively. Also, the biological father, my husband, of the 2 step children will also be on the cruise, so would I still need said ppw?

 

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If she has it in her head that she gets to satay home alone or there is a boy, then the wrong person is driving this family and there needs to be a re-balancing of who is in charge.

 

My thought.

 

My ex used to love watching both Dog Whisperer and Nanny 911. I asked her why she watched both shows, since they are exactly the same. The adult humans are not in control of the household.

 

She argued. But a few weeks later, she came and admitted that they were actually exactly the same.

My children are 18 and 20, respectively. Also, the biological father, my husband, of the 2 step children will also be on the cruise, so would I still need said ppw?

You wouldn't need it for your children since they're adults. You would need a consent form for your two step-children if they're minors, even with their dad on the cruise. Their biological mom needs to consent. As long as at least one parent isn't there, Carnival "strongly recommends" (their words) having this form, but it's more so for DHS. Carnival doesn't have one of these forms on their site. We're taking our son's friend, so we needed one. I Googled something like, consent for minor to travel, and found a generic form. Then I just typed it up in Word and tweaked it a little bit to my liking. Signature of the parent(s) not cruising, their address and phone number, name of the ship, the dates (I put departure and scheduled return dates), and who they're cruising with. Also allow at least one adult on the trip to be able to consent to medical care. Since it's their dad there with them, that may not be necessary since he can consent to medical care, but it wouldn't hurt if you included it. Then have it notarized. Some people say they've had to show the form, others say they've never been asked for it. But it's a good idea to play it safe.

How is the 12 year old going to reimburse her father for her cruise fare? (text deleted) This is a great opportunity to teach the 12 year old that her decisions do have consequences and about the value of money spent on her behalf by her working off the debt. It's not a punishment, it is just having her do the right thing.

Actions have consequences. Sometimes, those consequences are unplanned, unintended, and unexpected.

 

Of course... Nie mój cyrk, nie moje małpy.

My children are 18 and 20, respectively. Also, the biological father, my husband, of the 2 step children will also be on the cruise, so would I still need said ppw?

 

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If your husbands biological children are underage, he does need notarized permission from his ex-wife to take them out of the country. https://www.tripsavvy.com/parental-consent-forms-for-traveling-minors-3265651

If your husbands biological children are underage, he does need notarized permission from his ex-wife to take them out of the country. https://www.tripsavvy.com/parental-consent-forms-for-traveling-minors-3265651

Well. I was unaware that even though he is their biological father, that he would require permission from their mother. I thought it was enough for the biological dad to be listed on the passport, as evidence that that is the child, and we'd be okay. Thanks so much for the info, and for the link! Will definitely be looking at it today.

 

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