Do any of you parents out their feel guilty about your cruise?

I know I shouldn't feel guilty, but I do. Three of my children (all adults) are struggling financially and a 3 day cruise would be a major luxury for them, let alone the 15 day Dh and I are taking in Oct to Hawaii. They are happy for us, but I feel bad for wanting to talk about it with them. Yes, we work hard for our $$$ but still...... anyone else feel this way?

Were you going on cruises when you were their age(s) or at their stages in life?

We are the opposite (we are both 28 and it's our parents/siblings that can't afford to cruise very much). Sometimes I do feel guilty, and I have had some extended family/acquaintances call me out for how often we cruise, but in the end we work hard for our money and budget elsewhere in our lives to be able to afford 2 or 3 cruises a year. We don't hide the fact that we are going on cruises, but at the same time we don't try to brag/overpost. We will post on social media once when we book a cruise so people can join us if they want/are able, then we usually post when we are leaving, at most once or twice while on the cruise, and then a single photo dump when we get back home.

We are the opposite (we are both 28 and it's our parents/siblings that can't afford to cruise very much). Sometimes I do feel guilty, and I have had some extended family/acquaintances call me out for how often we cruise, but in the end we work hard for our money and budget elsewhere in our lives to be able to afford 2 or 3 cruises a year. We don't hide the fact that we are going on cruises, but at the same time we don't try to brag/overpost. We will post on social media once when we book a cruise so people can join us if they want/are able, then we usually post when we are leaving, at most once or twice while on the cruise, and then a single photo dump when we get back home.

Awestover89. Could you please read your email about Symphony and the Events onboard. Thanks. If you didn’t get it, jot a note here.

We are 65 and we go a good bit. Two of our three kids take nice vacations and one is more limited. The thing we do is every other year we take all 11 of us somewhere nice for several nights to a week and we pay for it. They know a year ahead we’re going and they supply their spending money and some of their eats. We have done this every other year since 1999. At first their were six of us. In 2005, the grands started coming and our number is 11. We have a great time and all get along well. If any of them has negative feelings about us going otherwise, I’m sure not aware of it. If we didn’t pay, the one bunch wouldn’t get to go. So, we do it for all. That’s our solution.

When my parents retired and started cruising to different locations around the world multiple times a year while my wife and I were either working or changing diapers, I was nothing but happy for them. Not for a second would I want them to feel the least bit of guilt, and if they did, they did a good job of hiding it each time I came over to be given a list of house-sitting instructions right before their next trip.

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While my parents never went on a cruise, they did go off on big vacations quite often after my brother and I left home to start our own families. Even though we had limited funds to do such things at the time, we never ever would begrudge them for their wanting to enjoy themselves in their later years. They sacrificed a lot for us. Now that we were on our own, they deserved everything they could enjoy. We had often told them that we did not want a single dime in inheritance, but instead wanted them to spend it on themselves. Their happiness was much more important to us than any inheritance could ever be. Now that they are both gone and my brother and I are getting older, with kids making their own way in the world, we each have more financial security and now can afford to enjoy our own big vacations, including cruises. And with no guilt involved.;)

Why in the world should you feel guilty? I swear, I see this all the time at work. Parents on the cusp of retirement giving up and sacrificing for their GROWN children- I just don’t get it

No...just take them with us....sometimes !!!!!!!

Nope, not at all. We did take them when they were teenagers and they do have fond memories of those two cruises. A couple of them joined us on our last cruise and it's possible some of the others will too someday, which will be nice.

Guilty! Not at all. My children are all grown up now- and are now professionals making good livings.

I believe they should be treating us to a cruise or two a year. It is our turn to enjoy (what is left) of our lives. If you children are very young perhaps difficult. But if we ever went on a vacation, my kids were either in school or camp and our parents were around to supervise. They enjoyed spending time with their grandparents and we on an adult vacation- win-win.

Enjoy.

Guilty? Absolutely not; no way.

We raised our kids with their own time in church camps, scout camps, space camps, and our regular family visits to grandparents homes and Walt Disney World - all far from where we lived. When traveling, we made stops at museums, libraries, historical, and sometimes even hysterical tourist-trap locations. We pinched our pennies, consistently budgeted, spent less than we made, and invested for the future.

Now we are both retired, traveling North America by small RV and the world by river and ocean cruise lines. Our kids and their families occasionally join us, but they are very busy with their own careers and major family activities. I expect in 20 or 30 years they will get to a situation similar to where we are today, actually one of their goals that they have shared with us.

Although it wasn't a cruise, last January, I made my mother cry. She was on a waiting list for a trip to Texas, and I just happen to know the owner of the tour company. Once the waiting list slot opened, she paid her deposit, but I had arranged for the tour company to contact me upon confirmation so that I turned around and paid for half of her trip. When she received the bill for the balance remaining, it was something like $46. When she called to wonder what was going on, she was told that I paid for half. That left her crying in joy.

Look, I make good money, and spent the last few years clearing out my debts, thus I'm debt-free now. I also make sure that I fully contribute to my retirement funds and are saving.

Although it wasn't a cruise' date=' last January, I made my mother cry. She was on a waiting list for a trip to Texas, and I just happen to know the owner of the tour company. Once the waiting list slot opened, she paid her deposit, but I had arranged for the tour company to contact me upon confirmation so that I turned around and paid for half of her trip. When she received the bill for the balance remaining, it was something like $46. When she called to wonder what was going on, she was told that I paid for half. That left her crying in joy.

 

Look, I make good money, and spent the last few years clearing out my debts, thus I'm debt-free now. I also make sure that I fully contribute to my retirement funds and are saving.[/quote']

 

Great child!!! Your mom did a good job!

I know I shouldn't feel guilty, but I do. Three of my children (all adults) are struggling financially and a 3 day cruise would be a major luxury for them, let alone the 15 day Dh and I are taking in Oct to Hawaii. They are happy for us, but I feel bad for wanting to talk about it with them. Yes, we work hard for our $$$ but still...... anyone else feel this way?

why would I? at that age I too was struggling financially. my parents still cruised without any of us kids. in fact they waited until we were out of the house before they started because otherwise they couldn't afford to take one.

if they wanna cruise, they can save their pennies until they can afford to do so.

No guilt here. We've taken our entire family on 2 major cruises over the years - one a 2 week through the eastern Mediterranean, and the other a 12 day Baltic cruise. We paid for their flights, hotels, and cruise (they were in charge of their onboard accounts) for both trips. Now we cruise when and where we want, and there's never a pang of guilt because the family can't be with us. When we were their ages, we were busy making a living, having children, getting by; now it's our turn to enjoy what we've worked and saved for.

I read something interesting a few months ago that has really stuck with me: "If you don't go first class, your kids will." So true.

Smooth Sailing! :) :) :)

I know I shouldn't feel guilty, but I do. Three of my children (all adults) are struggling financially and a 3 day cruise would be a major luxury for them, let alone the 15 day Dh and I are taking in Oct to Hawaii. They are happy for us, but I feel bad for wanting to talk about it with them. Yes, we work hard for our $$$ but still...... anyone else feel this way?

We all have choices. You have made the choices to lead your life to where it is. They have made the choices to get them where they are. Who knows? As you share your experience it could be the motivating factor that enables them to make some choices to get them to the same place.

And really - who wouldn't want to see their parents of all people HAPPY?!!

No guilt here. We've taken our entire family on 2 major cruises over the years - one a 2 week through the eastern Mediterranean, and the other a 12 day Baltic cruise. We paid for their flights, hotels, and cruise (they were in charge of their onboard accounts) for both trips. Now we cruise when and where we want, and there's never a pang of guilt because the family can't be with us. When we were their ages, we were busy making a living, having children, getting by; now it's our turn to enjoy what we've worked and saved for.

 

I read something interesting a few months ago that has really stuck with me: "If you don't go first class, your kids will." So true.

 

Smooth Sailing! :) :) :)

 

Not trying to be too morbid- but I know people who put off travel and going "first" class that saved for the old age and never reached it or developed dementia and couldn't enjoy it. While I am not suggesting never save and be reckless- do not deprive yourself of pleasures when you are able to enjoy those pleasures!

No guilt here. We were first in our families to graduate from college, spent years paying off school,loans and house while raising our children. We had great family vacations periodically when they were young along with taking them to sport camps and sporting events while they were on traveling teams - filled their youth. Now we take them on a vacation once every two years (just back from Alaska) where we provide all but their airfare and appreciate that they will share their precious time off work with us.

When I was in my 20's and 30's, my parents took several cruises each year to the Caribbean, Hawaii, South Pacific, etc. My husband and I couldn't afford to take big vacations, but once a year my parents would pay for us to go on a cruise or a land vacation of our choice. They certainly didn't have to do that and we were incredibly grateful for it, but I would never have wanted them to feel guilty for taking their vacations even if they hadn't sent us on one every year. They worked hard starting and running a business and deserved their travel time.

You never know what the future holds for you or your kids and roles might someday be reversed. So go on those vacations, cherish the memories, and don't feel guilty about it.

We don't feel guilty at all, and I am sure our family would not want us to--they are happy that we can cruise and/or vacation at this time in our lives. We have taken them on a couple of cruises, but it is not something they expect.

I agree that, within reason, you should travel and do other things when you can, not put it off until some 'perfect ' time in the future. I have known people who saved and waited to travel, but when the time came one or both were unable to--or even had died before that time.

No guilt here....my DH and I grew up poor and didn’t go on any vacations as children. With hard work and educating ourselves, we are now in a position to take any vacation we want as long as my workaholic DH can take time off of work. We do however, spoil our granddaughter and give her and her parents an all expense paid trip to Disneyworld every other year. We would LOVE to go with them but we have to stay home and watch their pups because we are the only people our daughter trusts with her dogs (one has health issues).

Happy cruising everyone!!!!

I know I shouldn't feel guilty, but I do. Three of my children (all adults) are struggling financially and a 3 day cruise would be a major luxury for them, let alone the 15 day Dh and I are taking in Oct to Hawaii. They are happy for us, but I feel bad for wanting to talk about it with them. Yes, we work hard for our $$$ but still...... anyone else feel this way?

I always feel guilty spending money on us. However my adult are sending us on this cruise. Well part of it anyways. They are putting mother’s day Father’s Day birthday and Christmas money they would have spent on the cruise. We will have to pay some still. However I have. 13 year old I will be leaving at home and my goodness I feel bad leaving her. We always travel with everyone! We have been married 27 years and have never gone anywhere just the 2 of us. Not even on honeymoon so it’s ling over due. We work hard and it’s time for us to enjoy each other now. It’s a hard mind set to get to but it’s time for us to be there. Remember we all struggled back in the day. My word a cruise was something I would never dreamed of long ago. Enjoy your trip!!!!

Oh...here’s a good one...our daughter told us that her friends have asked her how she feels about us spending “her” inheritance on our cruises. Thank goodness she didn’t agree with them because she has seen how hard her dad has worked riding up the corporate ladder.

I always feel guilty spending money on us. However my adult are sending us on this cruise. Well part of it anyways. They are putting mother’s day Father’s Day birthday and Christmas money they would have spent on the cruise. We will have to pay some still. However I have. 13 year old I will be leaving at home and my goodness I feel bad leaving her. We always travel with everyone! We have been married 27 years and have never gone anywhere just the 2 of us. Not even on honeymoon so it’s ling over due. We work hard and it’s time for us to enjoy each other now. It’s a hard mind set to get to but it’s time for us to be there. Remember we all struggled back in the day. My word a cruise was something I would never dreamed of long ago. Enjoy your trip!!!!

Enjoy your “honeymoon.” You will love it! My DH and I have been married over 40 years (we got married very young:)) and still love every moment we get to be together just the two of us....and we love being empty nesters!!!:hearteyes:

Save your guilt for when you do something illegal or immoral. You have earned your lifestyle. Your adult children will earn their lifestyle, whatever it may be. When they reach the age you are now, they will have the standard of living that they have earned.