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Early dementia and travel


oregonjuli
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My 76 yr old mother has convinced my 21 yr old son to take her on a trip. She'd prefer NYC, but her other idea is a European river cruise. I was against the NYC trip because of the amount of walking - She uses a cane and is very slow and unable to walk long distances due to arthritis. I really against the river cruise, simply because I worry about him being "in charge" of her overseas. She is not to the point of wandering off, or forgetting who people are, but does get forget conversations you have had repeatedly just minutes earlier.

 

Would you be concerned or have reservations, or should I let them go (not that I can really stop them) and enjoy probably her last big trip?

 

Any other suggestions for cruise trips for them staying closer to US? She's done Canada/NE, and she's not a sun & sand caribbean person.

 

Thank you,

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How about a river cruise in the US? There are several rivers and boats to choose from. There's even a new cruise line, French America Cruises.

 

 

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River cruises can be even more exhausting than an ocean cruise. Lots of walking tours on cobblestones. And your son would be limited by what her limits are...He could not leave her alone. Is he planning to share her cabin? How soon will this trip take place? Dementia can be progressing more rapidly than you think. My suggestion would be a coastal cruise on a small ship, such as American Cruise Lines ships. They do cruise up and down the East Coast in spring and fall. EM

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You also need to take into consideration if she can bathe and dress her self. He will have to spend time standing outside lady's restrooms waiting for her to come out. There is a lot of walking to be done on any ships. The the major cruise lines I see people very very frequently in wheelchairs and walkers. He sounds like a very kind young man.

 

 

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My husband and I cruised almost 100 times. He loved cruising and when he started to have dementia problems I wanted him to be happy so I agreed to cruising. It is not a good idea. Taking care of someone with dementia is overwhelming, especially in a different environment. Your son would be constantly worried about her safety. Your son sounds like a very caring person and he certainly means well. As someone who did it, I do not recommend it.

 

 

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Several years ago my mom and I were walking on one of the covered decks in the early morning. We were the only people around other than an older gentleman who was sort of muttering to himself. Something didn't seem right so we kind of hung around and watched him. A few minutes later we saw him start to climb up on the railing. We approached him slowly and asked how he was doing and he replied that he was going swimming. Told him that the water was really cold today and that he needed to get down from the rail. Once he was down I ran inside and found a staff member. Turns out he had dementia and had wandered away from his family who were on the other side of the ship.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Wow that's scary! I think strange (unfamiliar that is) surroundings can exacerbate dementia. My grandparents (one legally blind, the other having had TIA i.e. vascular dementia) were fine in their home town and even the city they'd spent winters in for many many years -- but out of their elements, it went downhill fast.

 

I do understand the urge to take a loved one on one-last-adventure, but the ideas for something in the states seem like they might be explored.

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I took my mom on a cruise for her 80th birthday. She had dementia. She got so disoriented that she went to go to the restroom in our cabin, and walked out the door. I was 10 feet from her and didn't see it happen. She wandered the halls for a bit until we caught up with her. Needless to say, we were on high alert the entire cruise. I'd say that if your son can watch her 24/7 and you can have an alarm on the cabin door (so that when it opens, he hears it), it might work. Maybe use a wheelchair to push her around when she's tired from all of the walking. Once we realized that the cruise was all about giving Mom a great memory, things were easier to cope with. It could be a wonderful memory for them both.

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My 76 yr old mother has convinced my 21 yr old son to take her on a trip. She'd prefer NYC, but her other idea is a European river cruise. I was against the NYC trip because of the amount of walking - She uses a cane and is very slow and unable to walk long distances due to arthritis. I really against the river cruise, simply because I worry about him being "in charge" of her overseas. She is not to the point of wandering off, or forgetting who people are, but does get forget conversations you have had repeatedly just minutes earlier.

 

 

Would you be concerned or have reservations, or should I let them go (not that I can really stop them) and enjoy probably her last big trip?

 

Any other suggestions for cruise trips for them staying closer to US? She's done Canada/NE, and she's not a sun & sand caribbean person.

 

Thank you,

 

Have you ever been to Kemah ,Texas ? It is unlike any place I have ever been to before .Not a cruise but so many diverse activities.

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We were on a river cruise last summer. I think a river cruise would be much safer than a huge ocean liner cruise. The staff get to know the passengers and are very helpful. Over the years I have met many fellow passengers with different levels of dementia. Most of us are understanding and try to help if we see someone who is confused. After all, seniors are enjoying travel these days!

 

Your son needs to understand that he must be with his grandmother AT ALL TIMES when she is onshore. A folding wheelchair should be available, but many places in Europe are not handicapped friendly. I use a cane, and our cruise chartered a taxi for the "gentle walkers" who couldn't make it up to the cathedral or the castle. The cruise director was very helpful with these arrangements. (We were on Uniworld.)

 

There isn't much difference between a European river cruise and a domestic one, except that you might have a long flight to get there. I would recommend a cruise that begins in Amsterdam and sails down the Rhine. That part of Netherlands and Germany is easier to walk. Cologne would not be a problem, and their cathedral is breathtaking! Have your son spend an extra day in Amsterdam to let Grandma recover from the flight before getting on the boat. English is spoken by most Europeans these days, especially if they are in the tourist business. If Grandma did get lost, she would be able to find help easily. Also, the cruise director will alert any tour guides.

 

I got lost last summer in Arles, France. I just kept asking people until someone showed me the way back to the bus lot. The cruise director had already alerted all the other tour guides to watch out for me, and one approached me quickly and asked if I was the lady they were looking for. They gave me my choice of a taxi, or to wait an hour for another bus. I relaxed in the park and waited. No problem at all.

 

It would also be helpful for your son to bring a magnetic sign to put on the outside of the cabin door. It will make it easier for Grandma to find the right cabin.

 

I think they should go for it while she can still appreciate it. I have stage 4 cancer, and I have three cruises booked for the next year.

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