Funny Cruise Ship Stories

Many years ago when decaf coffee was known as "Sanka". We were in New York sightseeing before boarding. Being a young midwesterner and not speaking New Yorkese, I run into a diner one morning and order, "Two large coffees to go." "Regular?" she asks. "No, Large," I reply. "Regular?" she asks again. I think maybe my lips aren't working right. Very slowly I say, "Two...LARGE...coffees... to...go." She gives me a strange look. "Do... you.... want... them... regular?" she answers. A guy at the counter says, "Regular is double cream, double sugar." Good thing he was there, she and I might still be there trying unsuccessfully to speak the same language.

Dan

Many years ago when decaf coffee was known as "Sanka". We were in New York sightseeing before boarding. Being a young midwesterner and not speaking New Yorkese, I run into a diner one morning and order, "Two large coffees to go." "Regular?" she asks. "No, Large," I reply. "Regular?" she asks again. I think maybe my lips aren't working right. Very slowly I say, "Two...LARGE...coffees... to...go." She gives me a strange look. "Do... you.... want... them... regular?" she answers. A guy at the counter says, "Regular is double cream, double sugar." Good thing he was there, she and I might still be there trying unsuccessfully to speak the same language.

 

Dan

I had a conversation like this on the Crown in 1991. I was asking for an Evian and they had no idea of what I meant so I told them still bottled water. They brought me a Pellegrino type water and explained it was STILL in the bottle. Had another time my mother was asking for crackers for the crab as the shells were not opened and after about 10 minutes of describing what she wanted the head waiter finally came out apologizing as all he could find were the little crackers they give you with clam chowder.

Thank you one and all I have never laughed so hard, I was having a bad day not any more.

Only thing we ever saw , was when some folks where coming back from Carlos and Charlies in Aruba, one of the young ladies was lifting her top, as she tried to walk a straight line.

Man, I hope that was not one of our group. We hit the Carlos and Charlies in Aruba.

There are few better shows than standing on your dockside balcony, promenade, or lido decks and watching the reboarding at Cozumel. From about an hour before sailing time on, the C&C patrons [victims?] will be lined up. Having been a star of this show, I'm not sure if its better to watch or participate. The watchers have more clear memories of the reboarding for sure.:D

 

Dan:D

We have had the "Cozumel Balcony Experience" before and it was hysterical. We got to witness a similar show last March in Costa Maya, when we were docked with the Carnival Holiday. The Holiday was packed with college kids on Spring Break. We spent at least an hour out on our balcony laughing at the kids staggering back to their ship. One girl was being carried over someone's shoulder like a sack of potatoes. They both almost went right off the side of the pier. I don't think too many people on that ship made it to dinner that night!:rolleyes:

Oh my gosh! Today I watch these kids and think "How could you?" :eek:

Twenty years ago, I surely was the one staggering....and I probably was the sack of potatoes once or twice! :rolleyes:

EDIT... double post... sorry!

While we were on the ship, my DH bought a hat (baseball cap) from the gift shop, to wear while we were out in port...

When we got back home, he grabbed the cap, put it on, looked in the mirror, and said, "Uh, I guess this won't work here, huh?"

In big letters across the front of the cap, it said GRAND PRINCESS

My reply here is not really related to the topic but I couldn't help but notice mommykim's signature line ("trying to be the youngest most cruised passenger on a Princess ship").

In June I sailed on the Caribbean Princess and one morning while I was in the Horizon Cafe eating breakfast, a mom and her two young daughters (probably around age 2 and 6) asked if they could sit at the table with me. During conversation I asked if it was their first cruise and the mom replied that it was the FOURTH cruise for the oldest daughter (ripe old age of SIX) and the second for the 2-year old!

Jeff

Sounds like my nieces and nephews, they are aged 4-12 and have been cruising once a year all their life. My brother and his wife sometime go twice a year.

We tend to hang out in the Wheelhouse Bar in the evenings after dinner. One night on the Sun Princess a few years ago, we were watching the people dance. Ther was this one couple in particular. evidently she was celebrating something and had too much to drink. She was kissing her hubby all over, hanging on the entertainers - telling them how great they were, then kissing bartender. more dirty dancing with hubby, you probably get the picture. A little while later, this other couple could tell we were watching the others quite intently, danced over and said "it's not like they don't have a room." We all had quite a good laugh over that one. Stangely enough, we didn't see that couple for the rest of the cruise, but as it happened, they were on our tour in FLL and on the same plane home. We ended up talking to them and found they only lived 30 miles from where we do. ;)

Very funny thread, it seems like Carlos and Charlies have got a lot to answer for!

When I was a kid, my family took numerous World Cruises on the QE2. We usually had out set table in one of the restaurants, but when you are on board for 3 months, we liked a change of scenery, so we table-hopped and restaurant-hopped some, too.

On one of the cruises, we had met a delightful little ol' British woman from Jersey, Channel Islands. Kaye, prim and proper, always well dressed, super personality, became my on-board Granny for those 3 months. She had taken this World Cruise after some big winnings in the lottery. We had dined with her numerous times during the cruise, and my parents had included her in several of the cocktails parties we hosted.

On the last night, my family was invited to dine with the Captain at his table. Kaye was also invited. It was a sad good-bye for some of the people who had become friends during the cruise.

The Captain ordered a round of after-dinner drinks....and he even said that on the last night, as busy as he was trying to finish things up....he enjoyed spending a drawn-out evening with some of the passengers; there was no rush to end the evening. He asked if we all wanted another round!

At that point, Kaye piped up and said "Well, if there is no rush, then for a change of pace, I'd like to celebrate the last night by having a fag!":eek:

HUH? :confused: I was 15 years old, and as well behaved as I was at that age, I absolutely burst out laughing. With the other old farts at the table, I'm not sure they knew what I was laughing at....or, if they did, they did not let on. The Captain, though, knew what was up with me. He explained that in old British terms, a "fag" was a cigarette. :rolleyes:

My first cruise was a 1st anniversary celebration with DH. We were invited to sit at the captain's table for the formal night dinner along with three other couples. We felt so honored!

Everyone was dressed to the nines. They poured complementary champagne and our choice of wine with dinner. We ate off a separate menu than the rest of the dining room. It was all just so nice!

Well, about 20 minutes into dinner we started noticing that the woman next to me was having trouble. She was slurring her words, she was talking to her escargot (yep!), all the while her husband was asking her if she's okay. "I'm jus' fine!" she says, "Leave me the he** alone!"

Okey-dokey.

The captain even raised his eyebrows at that one.

She proceeds to drink more and more wine, and when the bottle was empty, she drank the rest of her husband's glass. We spent the appetizer and salad courses torn between trying really hard not to laugh and feeling sorry for her husband.

About midway through the entree, she suddenly stands up and announces in a very loud voice that she is going to use the ladies' room. "I'll be back momentarily," she says, though it sounded more like, "I be baa momolalalee." When she turned to leave her foot got caught on her chair and she stumbled into another table nearby. She spent several minutes apologizing to all the members of that table in turn.

Everyone at our table went back to eating our meals and didn't say anything. It was obvious her husband was terribly embarrassed. A while later dessert was served and we realized she hadn't returned. It had been about thirty minutes. DH and I were wondering if she passed out somewhere.

Toward the end of dessert she comes stumbling back to the table looking perplexed. She starts shaking her finger at the captain and says, "You guys tried to pull a fast one on me!!"

We all sat in silence looking at her trying not to laugh. Her husband just looked at his plate and ignored her (LOL). She said, "I came back and everybody was gone...then I came back again and here you all are!! You think you're soooo funny!!"

Turns out, she couldn't find the restroom and in her "inebriated state" got turned around. She went to the Late Seating dining room one floor up that was currently empty. :rolleyes:

Who knew dining at the captain's table could be such an experience?

We were on a back to back cruise that had a rather large CC group joining the second leg. The first week we were on board, I arranged to have Skywalkers opened up for us one afternoon, with snacks and bartenders, so we could have a mid-cruise get-together.

 

On the appointed day, I went up to check on the preparations a few minutes before the rest of the group was slated to arrive. The waiters and bartender were setting things up, and to my surprise, quite a large group had gathered on one side of the lounge. I promptly sauntered up to the group and asked if they were here for the cocktail party.

 

I was met with stunned silence and a few stares.

 

They were the Friends of Bill W group.

 

As I slunk away, apologizing profusely, the waiter was putting up a sign directing us to the other side of Skywalkers.

Why would Friends of Bill W meet in a bar anyway????

In 1975 my family went from Long Beach, CA to Southhampton England on the last voyage of P&O Oronsay(weird coinsidence-my mom was on her maiden voyage from England to New Zealand @1950) My father bet our waiter, Bill and I(age 16) that we couldnt swim from the beach in Acapulco to the ship at anchor. We took him up on that bet..the ship was anchored WAY out in the bay, I am guessing it took us about 45 min of swimming, Thank God we were all decent swimmers. By the time we arrived at the ship we had quite an audience as this was an uncommen site-2 passengers and 1 crew member swimming up to the ship...

As the crew houisted me up out of the water, my bikini top slid completely over and the next thing I knew was a breeze where there was none & loud clapping from the surprised passengers!!

One of the most embarrassing moments of my life to date!! We were only a few days into a 3 week cruise, needless to say, other passengers remembered me.

My Dad still talks and laughs about it. I got over it and had a great time & still do 30 yrs ltr :) Afterwards we were told that we had picked a really bad place to swim as that was an area where the ships dumped the "food trash" & the sharks tended to frequent the area-didnt get into trouble like you would today & I was thankful to make it back & I remember admonishing my Dad for enouraging us to do it. He paid up. Liz

My wife and I were on the Grand Princess and it was formal night with everybody dressed to the hilt. We are on one of glass elevators and it stops at the next floor and a group of 20 somethings file on as the doors start to close a loud bell goes off and one of the group says "what's that" I said there is too much weight on the elevator. At the front of the group this very pretty- well built girl in a low cut gown steps off and the bell stops ringing and the doors start to close and the rest of the group starts laughing and she turns 10 shades of red. Someone in the group said " I just told her awhile ago she needs to lose a couple of pounds to wear that dress" LOL:D

My reply here is not really related to the topic but I couldn't help but notice mommykim's signature line ("trying to be the youngest most cruised passenger on a Princess ship").

 

In June I sailed on the Caribbean Princess and one morning while I was in the Horizon Cafe eating breakfast, a mom and her two young daughters (probably around age 2 and 6) asked if they could sit at the table with me. During conversation I asked if it was their first cruise and the mom replied that it was the FOURTH cruise for the oldest daughter (ripe old age of SIX) and the second for the 2-year old!

 

Jeff

Howdy,

Somewhere between hate to admit it and darn can you believe it is the simple fact that our 9 y/o son has been on 17 cruises and already has #'s 18 & 19 booked for this year. When he turns 18 he will already be Princess Elite. Did I ever mention I am a cruise addict and my husband is worse than I am?

Howdy,

Somewhere between hate to admit it and darn can you believe it is the simple fact that our 9 y/o son has been on 17 cruises and already has #'s 18 & 19 booked for this year. When he turns 18 he will already be Princess Elite. Did I ever mention I am a cruise addict and my husband is worse than I am?

Damn you, woman! I hate you :rolleyes: and your kid. :mad: Actually, jealous is more like it.

Now, in my early 40s, I have been on 40-50 cruises, some short 7-day jaunts, some as long as 115 days around the world. I did most cruises with my parents while I was still living at home....sigh....it's so much easier when someone else is paying.

But isn't your son already Elite? :eek: Doesn't that kick in with the 16th cruise???

Darn, I hate him even more! :cool:

 

But isn't your son already Elite? :eek: Doesn't that kick in with the 16th cruise???

 

Darn, I hate him even more! :cool:

Not all the cruises have been on Princess. He's also sailed with RCI, Disney & Carnival . He has 6 Princess as of right now with #7 booked for this year. We cruise a lot as my husband is a type AA++ personality and a cruise ship is the only place in the world he really relaxes. Wish we could do longer cruises but that is still about 10 years away. As of right now 15 or 16 days is our max due to his work.

My mother who was travelling with us was taking an inordinately long time to get dressed for dinner. We knocked on her cabin door at intervals to be told she would be ready soon. Eventually she appeared but looked very hunched up, stooped... bent over!! It was if she had suddenly lost a couple of inches in height. Now struggling to walk down the corridor, I asked was everything all right. When she told me, I giggled for hours (indeed I still smile to this day).

 

The dress she was wearing was styled so it had a dropped waist i.e. the waist sat level with her hips. To facilitate hanging, it had two thin ribbon cords attached to the inside waist of the dress which you then hooked over the arms of a coat hanger. My mother for some reason thought these ribbons were straps of some sort which needed to be worn and had put her arms through them. Given that they weren't very long they were pulling her shoulders down. I honestly don't know how she had managed it in the first place. In the end we had to cut her out of the dress.

That is hilarious!!

Just found this thread & so enjoyed the funny stories!!!!!

In December 1966 my family of six was sailing from Naples to Sicily on an Italian ship. We were 4 American kids ranging in age from 14 to 4 and we had eaten an early dinner. My mother went to the ship's dining room by herself for a quick bite, but she was no linguist. She asked for the check, but the Italian waiter thought she meant "chick" as in chicken. Of course, my mother was too full to eat this. My father, who was minding the 4 children, was walking us around the deck. We passed the dining room and saw our mother at the table and all trooped in. We know, in retrospect, how horrible it must have looked, to see a woman at a table for one, all of a sudden, being swarmed by 4 children, who ate the chicken. This was not necessarily the best portrayal of an American family.

We are from Southern California. Went on a cruise to Alaska and docked in Juneau. We were in the dining room for dinner when the ship began to pull away from the dock. Not sure if this happens on all ships, but on this ship the boosting of the throttle causes a bit of a rumble and shaking at the aft of the ship. A friend of ours from our town suddenly stood up and started yelling EARTHQUAKE-----EARTHQUAKE. The entire dining room was staring at her.

Funny to us, not to her. She took it well though!:D

These posts have me cracking up!!

We have come across our share of colorful characters ....................the shaman in the dining room on the Golden, Antarctica 2007, had to be one of the weirdest. He "cleansed the area around his table and everyone near it". He had on a bozo the clown wig and was shaking a stick and dancing around. I'm not kidding. after the 2 or 3rd night, he disappeared, never saw him again that we know of.

:eek: