Cruising Snobbery

Stop. Just stop.

I have a feeling your plea (and also mine) will be ignored :(

I don't think it's a matter of bending over backwards. Subtle deflection works well.

 

 

 

If I told you I was a housewife, that would certainly limit the conversation. What more is there to say?

I think everyone has a good story and I enjoy getting to know people. Your fellow cruisers and the ship staff are a big part of your life for the length of your cruise if not longer...why not get to know them.

How does being a housewife limit the conversation? I would follow with a question about where you live or your hobbies or your favorite or least favorite part of being a housewife or if you have children or if you enjoy traveling...all sorts of things. It only limits the conversation if you allow it to.

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How does being a housewife limit the conversation? I would follow with a question about where you live or your hobbies or your favorite or least favorite part of being a housewife or if you have children or if you enjoy traveling...all sorts of things. It only limits the conversation if you allow it to.

 

 

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Those are all very good questions. But all can be applied or reworked into general conversation. It's not limited to an occupation.

But, alas, I have travel to get to, which also limits conversation. :)

Don't you realize that if you express a preference for sunny weather or blue skies, or even a clear starry night -- especially in connection with a garden, or an uncrowded beach, or even an attractive part of a city - -you are exuding elitism?

 

"Weather" is often just the first step onto the slippery slope of snobbery. Announcing a "preference" is just a coded sneer aimed at those who haven't one.

Thanks for the laughs this morning!! :D:D

No worries. I am not at all shamed by the snobby remarks. I never hesitated telling people what I do if they asked. In fact, I always thought the whole idea that anyone from any walk of life could enjoy cruising is pretty cool.

You are so right, I agree. Cruising is for everyone that can pay the price of passage! :)

I guess sometimes it's just easier to come from another country.

I'm Danish. I pay a lot in taxes. Here a cruise is considered luxury only affordable by wealthy and semi-wealthy people. Not everyone can afford to have a car (heavily taxed). Homes are much smaller than in the US, and a lot of people rent and are pretty happy about it.

OTOH, many months of hospital treatment for cancer? Free and the hospital will provide you with the necessary medicine. You're even paid your normal salary while recovering.

Three kids in university? Free - with state subsidies to cover living expenses for the students.

Somehow I'm completely outside of that hierarchy you describe. I'm both richer and poorer than US cruisers. I earn a salary of 6 figures (even in $), but I would never be able to cruise every three months. I rent, own a tiny car, and only have one home.

One of the first 3 questions is often what do you do.

To which I'd answer: "I knit, crochet, spin, weave and sew. And I'm a volunteer at a Medieval Museum"

As a Dane with English as my second language I can pretend I don't know what you're asking (What do you do for a living?).

I guess sometimes it's just easier to come from another country.

 

I'm Danish. I pay a lot in taxes. Here a cruise is considered luxury only affordable by wealthy and semi-wealthy people. Not everyone can afford to have a car (heavily taxed). Homes are much smaller than in the US, and a lot of people rent and are pretty happy about it.

 

OTOH, many months of hospital treatment for cancer? Free and the hospital will provide you with the necessary medicine. You're even paid your normal salary while recovering.

Three kids in university? Free - with state subsidies to cover living expenses for the students.

 

Somehow I'm completely outside of that hierarchy you describe. I'm both richer and poorer than US cruisers. I earn a salary of 6 figures (even in $), but I would never be able to cruise every three months. I rent, own a tiny car, and only have one home.

You are right, some advantages there, but other chalenges exist. One thing for sure, your English is excellent. I wish I could speak a 2nd language. It is admirable that you can...and very well too!:)

You are right, some advantages there, but other chalenges exist. One thing for sure, your English is excellent. I wish I could speak a 2nd language. It is admirable that you can...and very well too!:)

AWWWW - thank you (Blush)

When you live in a country with 5.5 mill people you have to learn at least one other language. Every kid in Denmark is taught English from the age of 9-10 and all the way up (age 16 or 19). Every kid is taught a third (or even fourth) language as well, but not for so many years.

I think I had lessons in English, German, French and Latin. And was expected to be able to read Swedish and Norwegian as well (The three Scandinavian languages are somewhat similar).

Those are all very good questions. But all can be applied or reworked into general conversation. It's not limited to an occupation.

 

 

 

But, alas, I have travel to get to, which also limits conversation. :)

That was my point....the answer to the occupation question isn’t that important to me, it is just one of many questions that help you get to know someone and to start a conversation. And, it may start an interesting conversation.

As a couple who retired at a young age we have gotten snubbed by many once they learn our work history. Our initial reaction was to withhold that information to prevent making others uncomfortable. However, everyone has a right to their reaction and opinion and it doesn’t affect us. Those that snub us after learning of our early retirement are always those that we wouldn’t want to be friends with anyway. So, we let them have their reaction and laugh about it and move on to the next person to talk to. Can’t control others and it will drive you crazy if you worry about it or try to change their opinion.

Never been snubbed because of our room choice and we always buy the cheapest room on the ship and will gladly tell you if you ask.

I have found that most who judge you are doing that based on an inadequacy they perceive in themselves. I say live and let live.

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Oh! Quick question....

 

;p

 

It's awkward for us to respond to the occupation question so, unless you're family, we're very circumspect with our responses.

My DH used to answer similar. He was a professional with a private praatice and when someone would ask, he knew iff he answered, it would be followed by their long tale of the help they need and how bad those in his profession were. He rarely gave a a strraight answer when asked what he did. :) When they asked me, I answered that I take care of him.

Unfortunately, the way the cruise “hierarchy” is set up promotes a sense of elitism and snobbery. Those paying considerably more to stay in suites are provided, understandably, with perks. If one desired to cruise in a more “egalitarian” manner than I suppose all cabins would have to be created equally. This new concept of a luxury ship within a ship, (The Haven or The Yacht Club, for examples) seems to reinforce this elitist attitude.

 

 

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I always chuckle at the idea of "ship within a ship."

Before retiring, the nature of my work had me interviewing many prospective employees here in SF who were often just finishing grad school (knee deep in debt).

Despite making an attractive employment offer, it was often met with hesitation and a statement along the lines of:

"My current apartment in (wherever not SF or NYC plus a handful of other locations) is exceptionally beautiful and I have all these terrific perks like gym and pool AND it's only a third of what an apartment here costs!!!"

To which I would always answer: "Yes, but when you walk out the door of that apartment, you're still in ..... (wherever not SF....)."

Never lost a single new hire.

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AWWWW - thank you (Blush)

 

When you live in a country with 5.5 mill people you have to learn at least one other language. Every kid in Denmark is taught English from the age of 9-10 and all the way up (age 16 or 19). Every kid is taught a third (or even fourth) language as well, but not for so many years.

 

 

 

I think I had lessons in English, German, French and Latin. And was expected to be able to read Swedish and Norwegian as well (The three Scandinavian languages are somewhat similar).

Wow, I am in awe of that....having that knowledge is a wonderful thing! I learned Spanish and German in high school but when you don't use it over a lifetime, you lose the ability. I only remember a few words, expressions now. It's a shame I couldn't keep up the skill!

Wow, I am in awe of that....having that knowledge is a wonderful thing! I learned Spanish and German in high school but when you don't use it over a lifetime, you lose the ability. I only remember a few words, expressions now. It's a shame I couldn't keep up the skill!

When I graduated I was somewhat competent in French and Spanish but alas, I had no way to use it much so I lost it all. That saddens me as I always loved language. I had drreamed o f being an interpreter but life got in the way of that.

When an acquaintance discovered that my husband was a doctor he proceeded to ask him if he could examine his ailing bunions. My husband replied politely, “I wouldn’t mind at all, but I’m a doctor of music.”

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1- Ditmar, I'm jealous of your country's health care system. Ours is awful. Health care should be a right, not a privilege.

2- As for snobbery, I find cruising to be extremely affordable, even for us poor folks. (I'm on a teacher's salary.) The fee includes a week's lodging, all you can eat 3 meals a day and tons of entertainment (both on your own like the pools, but also on stage). The only thing that boots a cruise's expense is the airfare.

3- How do I block certain posters on this board, like someone who feels a need to preach about his fit and healthy lifestyle on a cruise board, as if any of us care?

I genuinely enjoy getting to know new people on a cruise. I generally avoid the "What do you do for a living?" question for a number of reasons. Firstly, I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable or put them on the spot if it's something they don't want to talk about. I prefer to expound on the inevitable first question "Where are you from?" It's easy to hold a conversation with just that.

I genuinely enjoy getting to know new people on a cruise. I generally avoid the "What do you do for a living?" question for a number of reasons. Firstly, I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable or put them on the spot if it's something they don't want to talk about. I prefer to expound on the inevitable first question "Where are you from?" It's easy to hold a conversation with just that.

For the most part, where are you from should be easy BUT, why is there always a 'but?"

There really, really have beentimes I have chatted with someone i've just met for 30-45 minutes o rrm ore (cocktail party on a ship) and all is well. THEN they ask where are you from. When I say Boston, their retort is "Do You Pahk your wicked good cah in Hahvad Yahd? I could vomit. Ignorant people.

We have spoken all this time, they had co comment I had an accent though I do not think I have a 'heavy Boston accent ' and I have never said wickedd good and I know of no one in my c ircle who has ever used that expression.

If they understood me fine before know ing where I am from, why do they tthink it cute \ f funny t o mock my 'homtown', I do not think it remotely courteous or funny. When one needs to get a laugh by mockingg another person, I think thatt to be no humor.

For some reason, I was neve r quite availab le again for another chat.

1- Ditmar, I'm jealous of your country's health care system. Ours is awful. Health care should be a right, not a privilege.

Agree 100%

2- As for snobbery, I find cruising to be extremely affordable, even for us poor folks. (I'm on a teacher's salary.) The fee includes a week's lodging, all you can eat 3 meals a day and tons of entertainment (both on your own like the pools, but also on stage). The only thing that boots a cruise's expense is the airfare.

Agree 100% we are civil servants with kids and always loved the value and escapism.

3- How do I block certain posters on this board, like someone who feels a need to preach about his fit and healthy lifestyle on a cruise board, as if any of us care?

How rude is this? If that was your take away from my earlier post then I suggest you work on your reading comprehension skills. There’s a whole lot of context that you apparently missed by skipping around I guess. I wouldn’t describe my lifestyle as particularly healthy or fit either, just normal (for a coastal elite LOL) unless of course you compare me to your average carnival cruiser out of the golf ports ;)

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...

I do agree that this whole question of snobbery and what-have-you depends on context and on having the skill set to sense when conversation is drifting into areas where others are uncomfortable. Unfortunately, the only way I know of to learn those skills is to practice them, and it seems most people don't want to engage in polite conversation, chit-chat, banter, etc.

To learn these skills though means having to examine whether an attitude or thought that you held as true could actually be false. Perhaps the thoughts that you have around what constitutes polite conversation need to change? This doesn't mean that you need to refrain from idle chit-chat or polite conversation, or as another has put it, bend over backwards to avoid a topic, but simply accept that others may find a certain topic uncomfortable or offensive and it is best that I refrain from it until I get to know them better.

Stop. Just stop.

I have a feeling your plea (and also mine) will be ignored :(

Hey, look on the bright side. Rarely on these threads about passenger behavior do we have someone who identifies themselves as one of the problems. We might have hit the jackpot in this case regarding snobbery. ;)

Hey, look on the bright side. Rarely on these threads about passenger behavior do we have someone who identifies themselves as one of the problems. We might have hit the jackpot in this case regarding snobbery. ;)

I can think of a few more examples but this one is well on the way to gaining admission into the Guiness Book of World Records. If nothing else, it has been really entertaining. ;p

When we are on a b2b cruise and we are starting the 2nd leg, we start getting the ''where are you from'' question again.

I smile and say ''deck 6''

sandra

When we are on a b2b cruise and we are starting the 2nd leg, we start getting the ''where are you from'' question again.

I smile and say ''deck 6''

sandra

I love to say we are from just south of Detroit. And when asked for more details I say "Canada". Really cool to see the glazed look in peoples' eyes while they try to process that info. :D

When we are on a b2b cruise and we are starting the 2nd leg, we start getting the ''where are you from'' question again.

I smile and say ''deck 6''

sandra

I LOVE this one :)

I love to say we are from just south of Detroit. And when asked for more details I say "Canada". Really cool to see the glazed look in peoples' eyes while they try to process that info. :D

Oh, that is TOO funny? I'd love to steal it but we don't live south of Detroit :)