NCL Escape NOV 4-11/2017: UltraViolet & The Captain

SANITIZED FOR YOUR PROTECTION!!!!!

Welcome, fellow Cruise Critiquers! You are about to embark on a closed-case adventure with UltraViolet, and me, The Captain, aboard the magnificent NCL Escape. Why the nom de pleurs? Why not? We're very fancy like that! Since our last cruise in 2016, we have adapted these "travel names", and shall henceforth be known as such. BAM! UltraViolet is a former Playboy Playmate, model, and Automotive Industry Titan. Andy Warhol, turn over in your grave.No, I will not reveal the month and year.

I, however am a lowly, jaded, military Veteran of 2 branches, of many years and deployments, who considers himself the "Luckiest Man In The World" to have UV by my side. I also put people to sleep, and, many times, wake them back up. Just kidding. They always wake up. I hate paperwork. And lawsuits.

Private Charter to Miami. (Just kidding, American Airlines Embraer. We were just on early!)

UV has cruised the world, and this is my second civilian cruise adventure. We live life to the fullest, cut no corners, and pull out every stop on our hard-earned vacations. This was no exception. Come now, Children of the Beast, and Shout At The Devil....

Nov. 3rd, 2017

Arrival

Miami, FLA.

We flew in a day early, because I have anxiety like that. Originally booked at Marriott Biscayne Bay, I had the bright idea of "saving some money" (already contradicting myself). So, I went on Hotwire (never again) and booked an unknown "5 Star" hotel downtown. Turned out to be "ME Miami", owned by a Mediterranean hotel group. A boutique hotel nestled in the first 14 floors of a condominium building, it strives to cater towards the edgy Millennial demographic. Like, my kids. What? So, for a grand total of $60 in savings, we stayed in a place that was very OK, but nowhere near Marriott quality. Or 5 stars. They're very pleased with themselves. Upon arrival by cab, the valets refused us entrance. See, this place is on a corner intersection with a very small drive, and Cabbie went in the out door (Led Zeppelin). OK, so let us jump out, grab our sh!t, and he'll leave. No. We subsequently ended up being dropped off on the corner, after he backed out. Off to an inauspicious beginning.

$36 later (We used Lyft after this, exclusively), the Grumpy, grumpy valet was happily schlepping our gear up the steps into the hotel. When you enter the first floor lobby, you are greeted by an overpowering combination of par fume’ and hand sanitizer…the hotel is desperately attempting to create an ambiance concurrent with the Oh-So-Trendy Miami scene. We thought it just kinda stunk. The front desk personnel were lovely, and Santos took our stuff and escorted us to the 3rd floor check-in desk. Very nice ambience here, the desk ladies were fantastic, and soon UV, Myself, and Santos were on our way to the room. On TripAdvisor, people complained about the dark elevator vestibules/hallways. The halls were fine, but the elevators and subsequent exit foyers were, indeed, poorly lit. More edgy Millenial bullsh!t. I guess.

Our room was very nice, modern, and clean. However, the bed was too soft, the mattress was worn out with the center being lower than the edges (meet you in the middle!) There was no carpet…rather, a spongy, playground matte kind of covering. Weird. My favorite part was the bathroom, which you can see in the photos. Open floor plan, with a shower that sprays absolutely everywhere. I didn't have to mop it up, so it's all good. Just don't slip and fracture your fibula. It even had one of those fancy, European drinking fountains next to the commode!

All in all, it was a very nice room, the staff were fantastic, and it was a positive experience. We did venture up to the 14th floor to have a drink at the rooftop bar (closes at 6:00pm on a Friday), but we never could find it. I don't even know. Would I stay here again? Never. It's not near anyplace to eat. There is an STK steakhouse off the first floor, which is expensive, and supposedly has a breakfast buffet. We didn't see it though the next morning. On embarkation day, we got up early, walked 1.2 miles to a cafe we found online, and had breakfast. Wanna guess what it was next door to? Yeah. Marriott Biscayne Bay. Lesson learned.

Anyways, after getting settled in and showering, we got dressed, called a Lyft driver, and went to South Beach's most famous eatery - Joe's Stone Crab. Seriously, some of the best seafood I've ever had in my life. UV agrees. We arrived shortly after 5:00PM, when it opens...had 2 drinks at the bar with Jeff the bartender (Welcome to my job), who's been there since 1983. Cool guy, great history lesson and conversation. Then we were seated immediately. Dinner was phenomenal. UltraViolet had the Stone Crab claws, which were some of the best crab meat I've ever tasted...and I had the Alaskan King Crab legs. We shared, and for desert we had their famous Key Lime Pie. This stuff is no joke. The best slice of any pie I've ever had. Joe's Seafood, Prime Steak, and Stone Crab are the affiliate restaurants in D.C., Chicago, and Las Vegas. We've been to 2 of the 3. The original, in Miami's South Beach, out does them all. When we left around 7:00pm, there looked to be close to 100 people waiting to be seated in the huge atrium. The bar was 2-3 deep. Get there early on the weekend, or you'll miss out! Back to the hotel, a few drinks in STK (we were the only ones there...Miami on a Friday? Maybe it comes alive at midnite?), then up to bed. Despite the description above, we slept really pretty well. And, that's all that matters.

Complimentary Champagne upon arrival...

Joe's Stone Crab... Soooooooo gooooood!!!!

Alaskan King Crab Legs....worth every penny!

Awesome so far - please keep going! :D

Cathy

Looking forward to more

I love detailed reviews like this. Enjoying the review and looking forward to more.

Me and Hubby have stayed at this hotel some years ago under another name/chain. I have to say that I can agree with your statements.

I hope you had better experiences on your cruise. We had a wonderfull week on Escape last sept.

Thank you for reviewing.

Nov. 4th, 2017

Embarkation

Miami, FLA.

The day is finally here! After 10 months of planning, we packed up at the hotel, called a Lyft driver, and headed to the Port of Miami. It was maybe a 10-minute ride, and we were before the majestic Escape. From pier side, she looks like a skyscraper. We handed our luggage off to a porter, and made our way into the Haven check-in area. It was about 10:45, and the Coast Guard inspection was completed early. It appeared that general boarding was about to begin, as well. Snacks awaited with cold drinks, while another family checked in before us. Shortly, we were called, and then we were escorted through the gathering masses to the dedicated Haven elevator, and to the Haven lounge. There, we were greeted by Andre, our Concierge. After a beef slider and some more snacks, it was announced that our staterooms were ready. Funny thing, here…that only applied to Haven Courtyard suites. We had a forward-facing Penthouse down on Deck 10, so we made our way there. We entered, to be greeted by the sound of a shattering wine glass and some colorful language. “Hellooooo…?” Sorry, not ready yet. The poor guy was trying very hard to make ready, so we threw our carry-ons on the sofa, and went back to the Haven restaurant for lunch. I guess, the off-site Haven rooms try to get ready ASAP, but ours wasn’t quite there yet. No worries.

Snacks!

UltraViolet and I both ordered the pan-seared scallops for lunch. I loved mine, she found hers to be slightly under-cooked. She started with the Lobster Bisque, which was reported to be delish. I had the Mozzarella and Prosciutto salad, which I quite enjoyed. For desert, we shared the Berries & Mango in Grand Marnier with a Tart. Again, it was fantastic. As you can see from the photos, the Haven Restaurant was nearly deserted for embarkation lunch. Service was impeccable. Dark napkins for those wearing dark pants, to avoid the unsightly, garish napkin fuzz that is a plague upon society, and white napkins for those of us in shorts. Attention to detail! We were impressed.

Then, it was back to the stateroom. At this point, it was more than ready, and all but 2 shards of glass were vacuumed up. I should note, this was NOT our assigned stateroom attendant, who was beyond excellent (more on that later). No worries, I found them, and put them in the trash can. We were in #10106, a forward-facing Haven Penthouse. A spectacular, spacious room. Upon entering there’s a dining room, living room, and the bedroom is off to the right. A full King bed with pillow-top mattress pad, and a bathroom replete with a soaking tub and rainfall shower head. The bed would provide us with 7 dreamless, dead-sleep nights of comfort. Our balcony was a bit small, but enough for our meager needs, and very private. We found a bottle of “Welcome” champagne, and a fresh flower arrangement as well. We popped the bubbly on our last night of the cruise, and, well…it just isn’t very good. But, it’s a very nice touch.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

We enjoyed sail away from Deck 8, the Waterfront. What a brilliant idea! We’re early risers, so a few days, we went down to the Waterfront and walked a few miles. (PROTIP: It’s exactly 0.3 miles around one full circuit.) The extension of the ship into the sea provided by this wonderful space is magnificent, and really does place one in harmony with the power that is the ocean. Anyways, as Miami slipped away behind us, we went to the Mojito bar for a few drinks before dinner. Christian and Augustus were wonderful bartenders, and we enjoyed their drinks throughout the cruise. The Raspberry Guava mojito was my favorite, while UV enjoyed the traditional, Old School mojitos.

After cleaning up and changing, we ventured to the Manhattan room for dinner. As a couple we were seated at a two-top facing aft. How romantic! Too bad the window washers didn’t do their job. Not a big deal, but I was surprised to see the windows as dirty as they were. She ordered the Eggplant Parmigiana, and I had the Prime Rib. After tasting UV’s main course, I’d wished that I’d ordered that. The beef was passable, but not extraordinary. Hers was. The live entertainment was nice, if not grossly average. After dinner, we explored the ship for awhile, having drinks at every bar we came to. After that, we got some wine, and retired to our balcony to close out the night. As luck (or astronomy) would have it, we had a Full Moon for sail away. The moonlight was magnificent, and illuminated the ocean’s surface around us. A truly magical ending to our first full day aboard Escape!

Dinner for sail away...those streaks are the dried tears of those before us, knowing they have to leave.

The Haven lunch menu. Nope....doesn't change.

The view of Miami as we dined on lunch....

The bread was good...the Vodka was better.

BAM! Mojito!

Desert!

Not sure what happened here. WINE!

Haven Forward-Facing Penthouse #10106

Nespresso machine and Tea Forte'....

Mojito Bar Mojitos!

MSC Divina on our way out of Miami

Farewell, MyHammy...hello, forefinger!

Goodnight, Moon...

Anxiously waiting for more :D

Anxiously waiting for more :D

Thank you! Another chapter tomorrow evening....:)

Can't wait for more! That Joe's stone crab photo made me drooling.

BTW LOVE your user name:D

Can't wait for more! That Joe's stone crab photo made me drooling.

BTW LOVE your user name:D

Thank you:D

It was legit the best crabmeat I’ve ever tasted. And the Key Lime pie was insane.

Look as though you and Ultra Violet had ALL the fun.

I can’t wait to hear about day 3.

Best review I’ve read on here. Rooms look amazing, never seen inside a Penthouse, quite nice with large round window and balcony off the living area, so no draught or all night balcony lights bothering you! Is the cost the same as my user name? [emoji6][emoji620]

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Best review I’ve read on here. Rooms look amazing, never seen inside a Penthouse, quite nice with large round window and balcony off the living area, so no draught or all night balcony lights bothering you! Is the cost the same as my user name? [emoji6][emoji620]

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

CostaSmallFortune, lol.

More to come tonight when I’m back on my laptop.

CostaSmallFortune, lol.

 

 

 

More to come tonight when I’m back on my laptop.

[emoji1303] thanks

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Looking forward to more!

Nov. 5th, 2017

At Sea

Zebra Station

Ultraviolet and I have a tradition…we like to start our cruise days with coffee and fruit on our deck. It’s just a nice way to ease into the day, watching the seas slip past while waking up…and eating the only healthy food on the entire trip. Also, since we’re fairly early risers, we enjoyed several magnificent sunrises. Ever since my Navy days, I’ve always said that the most incredible sunrises and sunsets were out at sea. That holds true today.

Good Morning from Zebra Station!

When all the coffee is gone, we ready ourselves for the day, and head out to what I call “second breakfast”. Which, is not to be confused with “elevensies”. Most mornings, we had a buffet breakfast in the Garden Café. We dined in the Haven restaurant one morning, but, the pace of service there is very deliberate. Not slow, mind you, but rather European. That’s great for dinner, and even lunch, but we’re pretty much ready to start our day’s adventure and don’t have time for that in the morning. Even on At Sea days, where we have nowhere to be. But we need to be there ASAP! The Haven breakfast was also the best steak I had on the cruise, but more on that later.

I loved that the buffet had Eggs Benedict. 2 kinds! Traditional, and Sausage Eggs Bennie. Guess what I had every day? The English Muffins were always just a tad gummy, but the sausage and cheese were delish (I mean, it’s sausage and cheese, right?) and the soft-boiled eggs were perfectly cooked. UV would vary on the “breakfast appetizers”, and always brought it home with a flower-shaped Belgian Waffle buried under Bananas Foster and Fruit Compote.

This day was one to explore the vastness of Escape. She did not disappoint. After breakfast, we took a 2 mile walk around the Waterfront on Deck 8. We agreed that on At Sea days, we’d try to get some exercise in. As I mentioned earlier, one complete circuit around the Waterfront is 0.3 miles. We tried the walking/running track on Deck 17 first, but…it’s too short, goes through a smoking section, and gets really slippy (yinzer) when a little rain falls. No thanks. Down to Deck 8 for us. The nice thing is, the Escape crew sets out little coffee and pastry stations on both port and starboard sides. On was always at the 5 O’Clock Somewhere bar, and I think the other was by the Waterfront’s Moderno or LaCuccina seating areas. Yep, you can take a brisk morning walk, and chow down on baked goods! If only there were a cigarette machine….

Just kidding…some folks aren’t there to exercise, but to wake up with a continental breakfast by the sea. A really nice touch by NCL.

We walked all over the ship, and were very impressed by what we found. There really is something for everyone. We spent some time in the Haven Courtyard, but didn’t use the pool. I wanted to, but every day it was monopolized by a sizeable group of children. I realize that a large contingent of cruisers believe that the Haven is “marketed to families”, but I disagree with that philosophy. The Haven is marketed to people who can afford it. Period. I’ll give them credit for being largely well-behaved, but I don’t like other people’s children. I could’ve swam in the evenings, when the pool was empty, but to me, daytime is for when you swim in a pool. It’s all good, though, the private Haven sundeck had few kids to bother us. Yes, I said bother. Several of you are grasping your angina-filled chests right about now. The nitroglycerin is on your nightstands. You’re welcome!

So, the Haven. A curious product. We loved our stateroom, and, in fact, were happy it was not in the courtyard proper. This enabled us to mandatorily see what all the ship had to offer outside of our private enclave. The service from our stateroom attendant Muhammad, and our butler Jefferson, were above and beyond. Likewise, for the Haven restaurant staff, especially Assistant Concierge Diana and our often-times waiter, Louie, were exceptional. Norwegian, I know you read this board sometimes. All the above-named crew deserves accolades and promotions. Anyways, we were in and out of the Haven a great deal. Sometimes, the lounge/bar was deserted. Other times, it was Heaven’s Waiting Room. While waiting for priority disembarkation, this is where, um…. some personalities really shone through. Let’s just leave it at that. All the money in the world can’t purchase a molecule of class or common courtesy. That ain’t for sale, it’s taught. We never saw anything untoward during priority tendering, everyone was really cool. So, yeah, the Haven is a mixed bag of experiences and emotions. Overall very good, and I will definitely book that cabin class again. We’ll contrast & compare more later.

Around lunchtime, UltraViolet and I decided to eat at Food Republic. I’d read so much good buzz about it here on CC, that I had to try it.

We were greeted by a hostess, and immediately seated. The tablet that you order from at our table was having issues, so it was replaced by staff from a nearby table. After a quick lesson by him on how to order, we were off to the races. Food Republic offers Pan-Asian cuisine in portions designed to share. Sort of Tapas, kinda not Tapas. We ordered a California Roll, Radish Salad, Buffalo style Rock Shrimp, and Rock Shrimp Pad Thai. By far, this was one of my favorite meals on the cruise. The California Roll was excellent, the Buffalo sauce on the shrimp was perfect, and the Pad Thai was spot-on. UV was not overwhelmed the way I was, and rated the entire experience as “good”. I don’t even…. I’d have liked to gone back one more time, but we were trying everything along the way, and it sadly did not occur. Well worth the ala carte $32.00.

We spent some time relaxing on a couch all along the Waterfront, which was amazing. What a great, innovative idea NCL had with this idea. Or whomever they stole it from. I really don’t care. Oh, and drinks from 5 O’Clock somewhere. Hi, Clarense, you’re awesome, Smack Dat A$$! (It’s a drink. A very good one.)

After that, we wandered into the casino, where we threw a few bucks into that crazy, statistically-impossible, quarter-pushing machine. It’s fun. Like, crack cocaine is fun. Until it isn’t. You know. Right? We first visited this in my first review, last year. The manufacture is Dutch, or so it appears, but a quick Google search shows numerous Asian gaming companies who produce them. Yeah, they’re fun, yeah, they’re addictive, but no, they are not profitable. This is a game based on statistics and a certain way of stacking the coins. You’re simply not going to win. BUT THEY’RE FUN!!!!

A word about the Casino. It smells like reused cigarettes were put out in a… bad place. Yeah, it’s really, really bad. I know it’s been talked about here ad nauseum, but it’s worth mentioning. One of my photos, which you’ll see in a few days, encompasses 678 Place. Deck 8 was under a haze of cigarette smoke. The photo doesn’t really show it, but it’s there. I’m a former smoker, and I’m telling you, the smoky smell in the Casino is like walking through the embers of an apartment complex that burned to the ground. NCL needs to ban smoking in the Casino, and whomever ever designed this class of ships to have the Casino where it is needs to be keelhauled.

We then ventured up to Spice H2O. We had one drink, and left. It was Sunday afternoon, the games were on the big screen, and everyone around us was hammered. It was like a Frat Party. The Grotto looked super-cool, but we weren’t feeling it. We don’t enjoy drunken free-for-alls where folks are passed out mid-day, but that’s what we were presented with. Bye.

We made our way back to the stateroom for a nap, then we got cleaned up for our special, invitational, cocktail hour with The Captain in the Haven Courtyard. We actually had reservations at LaCuccina during this time, and we rescheduled it to the cruise’s last night. That worked out well, more on it later. So, we showered, put on our dress clothes, and made way to the Haven Courtyard. Greeted by the Captain. He was very nice, but seemed uncomfortable with the attention. I got the impression he’d rather be back on the bridge, driving the boat. The wine was lovely (“It’s on the Captain”), the Hors d'oeuvres were lovely, but…. The head of Cruise Next, Shore Excursions, and Art Gallery, hitting us up and giving us the hard sell was pretty tacky. I get it, now. We’re Haven passengers. Therefore, we must be rich (Ha Ha). Hit them up for stuff they don’t want or need. This really put us both off. This entire get together was manufactured as an Up Sell opportunity. Poor form, Norwegian Cruise Lines. Poor form, indeed. We did take some nice pics, though. We’re fancy like that.

Then it was off to the Haven Restaurant for dinner. We each had the Colossal Shrimp Cocktail (3 large prawns in a passable red sauce), and UltraViolet had the Grilled Jumbo Shrimp Skewer (Excellent), while I dined on the Surf & Turf. A Petite Filet with Jumbo Shrimp. The steak was very good, if not overwhelming, and the shrimps were excellent. No desert for us here tonight. Service and presentation were par excellence.

After we departed this “meet and greet”, we found ourselves at the Atrium Bar. Just as we got our drinks, a Balloon Animal Making extravaganza began! UltraViolet will never pass up the chance for a good balloon animal, so she jumped in and participated. Hilarity ensued. Seriously, it was funny as Hell. Allow me to say, for all my Marine Corps brothers out there…. the Green Weenie actually exists. It was in our stateroom for 2 days, I know. It was supposed to be a sword, but…I know it was the Green Weenie. After the Balloon Debacle concluded, we each got a couple glasses of wine, headed back to our stateroom, and enjoyed them on our balcony. A fine end to a very busy, adventurous day aboard Escape.

If you push out the right quarters, you get one of those gas station roses in a glass container!

Artwork in the Haven's rear stairwell...lots of watch parts suspended in a network of fine wires.

The Best. California Roll. Ever.

Radish Salad. UV said it was good. I don't do radishes.

Buffalo-Style Rock Shrimp. Delish!!

Rock Shrimp Pad Thai. Also delicious!

Xi Beta Blotto. Not for us, thank you.

Mango daquari and Rebellious Fish at Freshman Rush. The Rebellious Fish was terrible.

The Upsell Sessio... I mean, the Private Captain's Cocktail Reception.

Haven Restaurant Dinner Menu

Nov. 5th, 2017

At Sea

Zebra Station

 

I realize that a large contingent of cruisers believe that the Haven is “marketed to families”, but I disagree with that philosophy. The Haven is marketed to people who can afford it. Period.

(y)(y) Could not agree more.