Do any of you parents out their feel guilty about your cruise?

No.

We went on our very first cruise when we were in our late 30s when we could finally afford it.

My parents just went on their first cruise last year - late 60s. I paid for it.

My kid has been cruising with us since he was 3 (he is 7 now).

You should never feel guilty if someone else can't afford a luxury. Now, if your ADULT kids didn't make enough money to eat, then you should feel guilty for not teaching them to adult properly. If they have no money for luxuries at this point in their lives, it's ok. Nothing to feel guilty about.

My friends are doing the opposite. She pays to bring her parents on every cruise they go on and some cruises she isn't even going on.

Oh...here’s a good one...our daughter told us that her friends have asked her how she feels about us spending “her” inheritance on our cruises. Thank goodness she didn’t agree with them because she has seen how hard her dad has worked riding up the corporate ladder.

some people feel very entitled to someone else's money, don't they?

Oh...here’s a good one...our daughter told us that her friends have asked her how she feels about us spending “her” inheritance on our cruises. Thank goodness she didn’t agree with them because she has seen how hard her dad has worked riding up the corporate ladder.

It's not her money it's yours. I have told my children for year not to count on an "inheritance." I'm gonna live my life, travel, and enjoy my money I worked hard to make. But then I have taught my kids how to be self reliant, work hard and save save save so you can do things you enjoy.

No guilt here. My kids are now 21 and 24. The oldest moved from MI to ND for a job 2 years ago and the youngest is living at home in her Senior year at a local university. We took our first cruise without them 5 years ago. DH and I have been on 17 cruises now and they have been on 10 of them with us. I still try to plan a family vacation each year. Sometimes it works with our schedules and sometimes it doesn’t. If I can make it a cruise I do and we pay their way. If all works out our Carnival Magic cruise will be a family cruise. Our NCL Getaway Cruise this year is just for us to celebrate our 30th anniversary. I don’t feel guilty for not taking them and they don’t give us a guilt trip for going.

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No guilt here. My kids are now 21 and 24. The oldest moved from MI to ND for a job 2 years ago and the youngest is living at home in her Senior year at a local university. We took our first cruise without them 5 years ago. DH and I have been on 17 cruises now and they have been on 10 of them with us. I still try to plan a family vacation each year. Sometimes it works with our schedules and sometimes it doesn’t. If I can make it a cruise I do and we pay their way. If all works out our Carnival Magic cruise will be a family cruise. Our NCL Getaway Cruise this year is just for us to celebrate our 30th anniversary. I don’t feel guilty for not taking them and they don’t give us a guilt trip for going.

 

 

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I offered to pay my kids way for our next cruise. Well, I offered to pay for the cruise they pay for their own air. They took me up on it. It just happened to be 3rd and 4th for $1. :p

Food for thought...parents..start early with your kids and having them earn money and I don't mean minimum wage jobs...I mean get them going on something where they can really earn!!!

Give them ice skating and hockey lessons or soccer or basketball very young and keep it up...then by age 16/17 they will be in demand private coaches/instructors at $$$$. Ditto for tennis and swimming. Added bonus they can be lifeguards ....extremely flexible schedules which allows them to earn elsewhere

Start them babysitting at 13/14..and let everyone know that they are available. They get $15 minimum around my neck of the woods and mine are constantly booked

Do whatever you can from early on to make your kids very smart lol. They will then become in demand tutors for other kids. $25 an hour and trust me parents want you on a regular basis every week My high school kid earns $125 a week for 1 hour a day Monday to Thursday and 1 hour on Saturday morning. 3 different families. And already booking up for September. This is in addition to babysitting on a Saturday night $75 and giving private sports lessons on weekends $$$$ for half hour

Ok..so you guessed it..a small fortune in the bank and yes I give a $ figure that I expect my kid to kick in for any trip we take. will not need to pay for college but will pay own way for every want...clothes...cell phone...computer..and yes we feed and shelter but certainly not paying for food when out with friends.

Point I'm making is that kids need to pay their own way or at least a portion of it from an early age and they need to develop skills that allow them to earn a nice paycheck plus it helps for them to have multiple income sources

In case anyone is wondering...yup my high school kid has plenty of free time and excellent grades. If you hadn't noticed the jobs do not take up lots of hours but they pay well

Imho earning $125 tutoring for 5 hours is better than earning $110 working in a store for 10 hours at minimum wage of $11

Of course I realize not everyone can tutor or give private lessons or lifeguard but what I am stressing is that I as the parent, realized a long time ago that my kids would need to earn their own way because I really couldn't provide everything...I could provide most things...but since I knew we were all travel addicted...I knew they would be kicking in too so I made sure they had the funds to do so.

I have a SIL who thinks I'm terrible for doing this (btw my older kids are full fledged gainfully employed adults now who expect to cover their entire costs) but then again this in law had a kid sleeping on her couch and unemployed into their mid 30's lol

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When I see retired parents or parents on the cusp of retirement sacrificing themselves for adult children like that all I feel is contempt, unless it’s for chemo or something similar

Give them ice skating and hockey lessons or soccer or basketball very young and keep it up...then by age 16/17 they will be in demand private coaches/instructors at $$$$. Ditto for tennis and swimming. Added bonus they can be lifeguards ....extremely flexible schedules which allows them to earn elsewhere

you may end up spending a ton of money during your kid's training and never getting it back. Ice skating and hockey are very expensive sports. And the kid may end up not being very good at a particular sport. :)

With us, we wanted our kids to pursue their dreams. Ours had to have a stake in expensive things. Space camp? Save up $200 of the fee. She did and we paid the rest.

This is my response to the itchy and scratchy poster and their post #59. Something went wrong with the quote feature.

Btw...you totally misunderstood the reason I posted what I did....

Never did I say I was raising olympians or professionals...you decided that by your interpretation of my post nor did I say spend money on things they are not good at...or not interested in....hence the reason I stated several possibilities for parents in my post.

My point is...if you give them access to their strengths and let them flourish in it...then when they are college kids they will actually have a decent income and won't need mommy and daddy $$$ so much because they won't be working minimum wage jobs. Or no jobs at all.

Again to reiterate....raise the kids with an eye to their future earning power....while they are being kids at age 12 why not put them in a camp that they can learn more than typical camp stuff

And perhaps by age 16 that will translate into something more than a minimum wage job or no job at all

Let them know early on that no matter how much money mommy and daddy have that they will need to make their own way in the world...so start now....

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With us, we wanted our kids to pursue their dreams. Ours had to have a stake in expensive things. Space camp? Save up $200 of the fee. She did and we paid the rest.

Exactly

Mine wanted to be a lifeguard this year...$440 for certification...we split the cost....however she earned it all back before the middle of June

Btw I wanted to split the cost with her because I feel lifeguarding is an incredible skill...and a job she can have year round during the school year too if she wants

As an aside...my kids never ever took unpaid college internships either..they only applied for paid internships and they all got paid ones

They simply told the interviewers and/or placement counselors that they absolutely had to earn money and did not have the means to volunteer any longer as they were responsible for their own finances. Also college financial aid applications require some sort of summer earnings on the part of the student and will assume they earned $$$ wether they did or not

Saying what they did is a sign of a strong person. They got the jobs.

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NO!

We raised 2 independent children and we feel we do not have to justify our choices.

We have taken our children and grandchildren with us and had a wonderful time. But we always told our kids “we are spending your inheritance”LOL

Feel guilty for cruising, never.

All that I really want from my mother is to inherit the house. Period. I'm in California, and the reasons are all tax related to proposition 13 and proposition 58. And, that's outside the scope of this board.

Rethinking my initial post.

Fortunately, both of our children are doing very well and are happy we cruise and they can when they wish.

Not so sure we feel not guilty about cruising IF ours really needed the money to make ends meet and we were spending it on a cruise. :confused:

No, no guilt here. We worked for this time and enjoy it, and family are happy we are able to do what we do.

We have done our best to support our son and continue to help out where and when we can but I refuse to feel guilty for going on a holiday after working so hard.

I know I shouldn't feel guilty, but I do. Three of my children (all adults) are struggling financially and a 3 day cruise would be a major luxury for them, let alone the 15 day Dh and I are taking in Oct to Hawaii. They are happy for us, but I feel bad for wanting to talk about it with them. Yes, we work hard for our $$$ but still...... anyone else feel this way?

I was always very happy when my parents were able to cruise when I was a younger adult. And it gave me something to work towards!

My parents could not afford to take a cruise, or even an extended vacation (like a week); they never really saved or invested for the future. My DW's parents managed to afford a travel trailer and pickup to pull it around in later life, enjoying it for two to three months every winter.

We both learned from our parents -kind of the opposite - to spend less than we made, save for the small things, and invest for the future. We taught our kids to do the same, and they are both well on their way to their futures.

Both of them are happy to see us enjoying our hard earned retirements; occasionally they will even join us for a cruise or land vacation when it can be coordinated around their family and work lives. No - we don't feel guilty...

How about the reverse. Any kids feel guilty about going without the parents? We recently offered my parents to come with us on a European Cruise and they stated that they cant afford things like that... but never asked the price. My mom has dropped hints about always wanting to do this and them being in their mid 70's part of me really wants them to experience something memorable in their retirement. The other part is torn though since they really haven't made any effort and they manage to constantly spend weekly casino money without issues.

So would you triple time it and pay for you and them or accept it for what it is?

How about the reverse. Any kids feel guilty about going without the parents? We recently offered my parents to come with us on a European Cruise and they stated that they cant afford things like that... but never asked the price. My mom has dropped hints about always wanting to do this and them being in their mid 70's part of me really wants them to experience something memorable in their retirement. The other part is torn though since they really haven't made any effort and they manage to constantly spend weekly casino money without issues.

 

So would you triple time it and pay for you and them or accept it for what it is?

Absolutely! Your parents have a right to enjoy themselves as they see fit. If you can afford it and give a gift- do not judge their spending. Either you want to give them a special gift-or not-.

My parents were of limited means and we paid their airfare a couple of times a year to visit us. We also flew down to florida once or twice a year also.

 

Perhaps as a mothers/fathers/holiday/birthday gifts, you might be able to treat them.

If they are spending their entire travel budget on cruises, that infers that they are choosing not to come and visit for some reason. Would they be open to your children coming and visiting them? I’m blessed that all three kids live within 20 minutes of my home. If I didn’t live where our three grands were, some of our travel budget would definitely be spent going for visits or having them come and visit me. I didn’t have grandparents alive and in my life. It’s very important to me.

We used to pay for their flights to visit us as they couldn’t afford it. We paid for their first cruise. They enjoyed it so much that they decided to find a way to afford to cruise on their own dime. Because they insist on only taking 14 night cruises, it doesn’t leave much time for any other trips. And honestly, it’s not that enjoyable for them to visit us, I admit that. But there’s no way my kids could go and visit them alone either. They don’t have the space or the energy!

We used to pay for their flights to visit us as they couldn’t afford it. We paid for their first cruise. They enjoyed it so much that they decided to find a way to afford to cruise on their own dime. Because they insist on only taking 14 night cruises, it doesn’t leave much time for any other trips. And honestly, it’s not that enjoyable for them to visit us, I admit that. But there’s no way my kids could go and visit them alone either. They don’t have the space or the energy!

It is sad as we all age and now my parents are gone. I am glad that we have such wonderful memories of spending time with them. Our children are also. We are now creating these memories with our grandchildren before the “energy” leaves us!