Unfriendly gays on cruises

The main problem with attending the FOD gatherings is that they are typically in a very popular venue and so the area is soon overwhelmed with straight passengers. The times are typically not workable, a much better time, in my view anyway, would be after dinner, say 11 o’clock.

 

I agree NCL have been the best for us so far and with Avalon we had a super time and where is demand with the straight guests.

Would you mind telling us more about your last paragraph? How were these two cruise lines a good experience?

We are a social and friendly couple, and we have had many conversations about this exact thing over the years. Our experience is similar to the OP.

We have taken the first step to conversation and still snubbed. We feel we encounter more who snub us than those who don't. This isn't to say we haven't met other gays, but it's the exception.

We have, however, met many straight couples. Many of whom have become life long friends.

We laugh to this day about a couple that was everywhere we went on the ship. They barely returned a hello and wouldn't have much to do with us. At Castaway Cay, they set up camp right beside us, and still wouldn't be friendly toward us. We were at a complete loss. It became our running joke.

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Maybe we need a thread for gays who are unfriendly, why? Sort of a confessional. Not sure if we could get anyone to admit to being unfriendly. It would be really interesting though.

I wouldn't do a gay cruise, ads always show shirtless hunks and I am not like that. Maybe people are standoffish because they feel threatened having a stranger talk to their spouse/partner.

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What cruise line, please.

Daffyd Thomas exclaims, “I’m the only gay on the cruise!”

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Daffyd Thomas exclaims, “I’m the only gay on the cruise!”

 

 

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I doubt that very much! :)

What cruise line, please.

LGBT group charter- cruise line varies, but next trips are on Celebrity and some European riverboat cruise vacations (also land-based).

Maybe they’re just not that into you, socially or otherwise. The fact you describe your recent interactions as being “their fault” says a lot. Perhaps their is something you could do differently as well but it doesn’t seem you care to look that deeply inward.

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I don't want this to sound like a rant, but it kinda sorta is. Has anyone noticed the influx of unfriendly gay couples on cruises? I mean I can sort of understand why a lot of gay couples are unfriendly or maybe dismissive. Maybe they are on a honeymoon, or just want a vacation together without any other men in the way, but it just sucks when you try to interact with other gay men on a "straight" cruise, and they just put their nose in the air at you.

 

Maybe it has to do with the cruise line? I was on a Carnival cruise about 2 weeks a go out of Jacksonville, FL. I saw very few gay couples, but the ones I did see, they were just all snobbish and dismissive. I just thought to myself "Umm guys this is a Carnival cruise, don't know where the snobbish attitude is coming from". Who knows, maybe I booked the cruise for insecure gay couples? Maybe Carnival specializes in a different type of gay? It was a shame. The LGBT get together, NO ONE showed up except me and one other gay man. Of course we were both single and we chatted for a while, but he turned out to be a weirdo....Im guessing there just isnt a lot of gay men who travel with Carnival....and of course its easy to figure out why.....

 

I went on a Norwegian cruise in 2015 and I met the coolest group of gay people. We had a group of us who got together every night, a couple times for dinner, it was the coolest thing ever. No one felt insecure or stuck up....it was awesome....but idk, this last cruise, just was bad.

 

So I'm probably going to be told its Carnival...and Im sure thats a big reason why.

We've done cruises on Cunard/Celebrity/Princess & this Jan. on Oceania's Riviera. We find that the lines that promote LGBT get togethers have a more friendly group overall. Princess & Cunard always have an active gay following. Celebrity(which Ellen used to promote)really does nothing. They have a posting where the meetings occur. They're nearly always right at dinner in Martini bar. NOT a good place to mingle. Cunard/Princess usually host the meetings. Once the groups have established themselves, we pretty much take it from there. Like you, we've seen our share of "stuck ups". Some I think are stuck up. Others probably aren't into mixing with others. They're likely there to cruise & not socialize. I've had my spouse get hit on a few times(Everyone likes the Asian guy, as the shirt says))Still, it can get annoying. We'd enjoy it if the Maître D could book gay tables, but they don't. So we do tables for 2. If we meet a good group, we'll book tables in the specialty rest.

I've only done two cruises with Viking (river) and one coming up in Dec 2018 on NCL. We met a few couples on our first Viking cruise but didn't talk to them very much because we were hanging out with some straight couples we met.

 

I'm looking at the roll call for NCL. I'm not sure how to find FOD meetings unless maybe in the roll call in this forum. Maybe I need to organize things myself.

 

I wouldn't do a gay cruise, ads always show shirtless hunks and I am not like that. Maybe people are standoffish because they feel threatened having a stranger talk to their spouse/partner.

We have no desire to pay the "Queer Tax" either, as a poster says. Totally agree with him. I do find it annoying when my spouse gets hit on. Yeah, even at 55 he's hot. At parties, friends call him Sara Lee(nobody doesn't like him)He's not a flirter, just has that Chinese personality everyone seems to like.

I remember a gay Republican fundraiser in California maybe twenty years ago. The candidate was hitting on my Chinese husband. I was not pleased.

Would you mind telling us more about your last paragraph? How were these two cruise lines a good experience?

NCL have tended to have a bigger gay group, the meeting place is usually a quieter bar, so not swamped with other passengers meeting for a pre-dinner drink etc. RCL & Celebrity tend to be half hearted, a meeting point in the main bar at 7pm, the tables are taken up by straight passengers so there’s no chance to get chatting to fellow LGBT guests. Probably more likely to meet up in the sauna than in the bar!

We did an Avalon river cruise last year and it was fab, we met some great (straight) people, many from Australia & NZ, still keep in touch and doing another cruise next year with some of them. Very informal and intimate, so most cannot fail to make friends with fellow passengers.

Hi everyone... We are avid cruisers (36/35 cruises) and my husband of 34 years (I was so young when we met :D) tells me I could have a conversation with a brick wall...:D

We usually travel on Princess or Celebrity (Hi keithm - good to see you). They have always been excellent lines (treated us really well - now Elite in both) and we usually meet straight and gay - couples and singles. We have run across gay people that are a "bit" snobbish and keep to themselves. We are always are a bit surprised by that. We do agree that placement of the LGBT meetings should be at a quiet out of the way bar, as some people might be shy or afraid (i.e. "straight husbands") to come if it is in an open area.

We are there to have a good time, so it never causes us a problem. As I know many gay people like NCL, we went once and the food and service left a lot to be desired (that must be the snob in me :cool:). The stateroom and entertainment was very good on NCL. We have not returned since.

We all usually find our niche. We were on Oceania last summer for 16 days TA from MIA to Rome and we had a wonderful time, but we had been on one Oceania cruise previously and were very disappointed. It was several years until we returned. Everyone has different experiences - we just try to go with the flow.. Happy cruising and holiday season to all!!!

Hi Neil. A few people don't like the food so I'm worried about that. Setting my expectations low. Hope to meet nice people like you on our first NCL cruise.

I wish the OP would be a bit more specific.

In what way were the other gay passengers standoffish?

Did the OP approach them, say hello, and not get a response?

Is it possible, as the OP is single, that some of the other gay passengers didn't perceive him to be gay?

Is it also possible, since there were so many "rednecks", that some of the gay passengers felt a bit uncomfortable and perhaps not as outgoing as they otherwise may have been?

My husband and I have sailed on a number of Carnival, Cunard, and Oceania trips (as well as a few other one-offs).

We never find that other gay travelers are more or less standoffish. We do tend to say "hi" to or smile at pretty much anyone we pass in a corridor or sit next to on a deck, restaurant, or bar. But we don't go out of our way to introduce ourselves to other gay people. Maybe it's because we live in NYC and encounter gay people pretty much every 10 seconds.

In our regular lives, more than 90% of our friends are straight. So I wouldn't expect that the people we end up hanging out with on a ship would be any different.

All that said, we did have an amazing experience on a Cunard Panama Canal crossing a few years ago. We had a gigantic wraparound aft terrace and ended up meeting over 20 people at a FOD party in the days before the crossing. On crossing day, every one of them (and a bunch of non-FOD types) ended up on our terrace for hours and we did have an amazing time. It was a perfect mix of gay and straight with lots of fun and zero judgment!

Mark, Could it be, if you don't introduce yourself, that you might come across as standoffish? Not suggesting you talk to everyone. Not sure if OP but there was a good example shared of how people come across that way.

Hi everyone... We are avid cruisers (36/35 cruises) and my husband of 34 years (I was so young when we met :D) tells me I could have a conversation with a brick wall...:D

 

We usually travel on Princess or Celebrity (Hi keithm - good to see you). They have always been excellent lines (treated us really well - now Elite in both) and we usually meet straight and gay - couples and singles. We have run across gay people that are a "bit" snobbish and keep to themselves. We are always are a bit surprised by that. We do agree that placement of the LGBT meetings should be at a quiet out of the way bar, as some people might be shy or afraid (i.e. "straight husbands") to come if it is in an open area.

 

We are there to have a good time, so it never causes us a problem. As I know many gay people like NCL, we went once and the food and service left a lot to be desired (that must be the snob in me :cool:). The stateroom and entertainment was very good on NCL. We have not returned since.

 

We all usually find our niche. We were on Oceania last summer for 16 days TA from MIA to Rome and we had a wonderful time, but we had been on one Oceania cruise previously and were very disappointed. It was several years until we returned. Everyone has different experiences - we just try to go with the flow.. Happy cruising and holiday season to all!!!

Hi, Neil& Jerry! Good to hear from you! We're on the Riviera Jan.12-23 & on the Reflection for a 14 day trip Jan. 4(2019) as the Eclipse will no longer be doing the Caribbean 14 day trips.Richard wanted something different, so we're giving Oceania a try. Still like Celebrity's itinerary. The 14 day cruises they offer are a nice sweet spot for us. We hope they don't discontinue that. Food this past Jan. was a real let down. I blame a new head chef. The Maître D forced him to go into the MDR(Eclipse) & explain the overall poor quality of the food.

I do find Celebrity could certainly do more for the LGBT as a whole. This past Jan. we didn't link up with anyone. We saw other couples, but they were not too social. Then again we're there for ourselves as well & not necessarily to find friends. Though it's nice when you do. The Regal Princess in 2016 had a great FOD the second week. The first week was a Trailer Trash Jamboree. There was a huge amount of Carolina Panther fans on board the first week.(Super bowl week) We've met couples who've tried NCL & say the same about the food. Plus, we like to dress up & NCL is certainly not noted for stylish dress.

I wish the OP would be a bit more specific.

In what way were the other gay passengers standoffish?

Did the OP approach them, say hello, and not get a response?

Is it possible, as the OP is single, that some of the other gay passengers didn't perceive him to be gay?

Is it also possible, since there were so many "rednecks", that some of the gay passengers felt a bit uncomfortable and perhaps not as outgoing as they otherwise may have been?

 

My husband and I have sailed on a number of Carnival, Cunard, and Oceania trips (as well as a few other one-offs).

We never find that other gay travelers are more or less standoffish. We do tend to say "hi" to or smile at pretty much anyone we pass in a corridor or sit next to on a deck, restaurant, or bar. But we don't go out of our way to introduce ourselves to other gay people. Maybe it's because we live in NYC and encounter gay people pretty much every 10 seconds.

In our regular lives, more than 90% of our friends are straight. So I wouldn't expect that the people we end up hanging out with on a ship would be any different.

All that said, we did have an amazing experience on a Cunard Panama Canal crossing a few years ago. We had a gigantic wraparound aft terrace and ended up meeting over 20 people at a FOD party in the days before the crossing. On crossing day, every one of them (and a bunch of non-FOD types) ended up on our terrace for hours and we did have an amazing time. It was a perfect mix of gay and straight with lots of fun and zero judgment!

Very well said.

I don’t think most gays on cruises are snobbish, I just think, they are like us and don’t wont to be put in that situation the OP was and always have to talk to a weirdo like he specified.

My BF and I have been on about 40 cruises and 8 different lines and when we can and especially feel like it will attend those LGBT meeting.

The problem with those meetings is you might have that person that is just looking for people to hang on with on vacation no matter what.

While your only looking to have a drink with people that might have the same interest in life as yours.

Not because we are gay necessarily means we all think alike.

Also OP don’t forget those other gays you see on cruise might just want time on their own or are with family or friends already and don’t need more people in the group.

The most important thing is like on land a nice hi and acknowledgement gets you always further gay or not.

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Very interesting read! I would say that our limited experience is in line with most of the rest of you... Meh... We may see other couples but haven't interacted with them. we went to a FOD meet-up on HAL a couple years ago. We (two lesbian couples) walked up to a group of guys and said "hi" . Couple guys said "Hi" back but they all basically stopped talking and none offered to move their chairs so we could join them so we were under the impression that it was a "closed" group or that they just didn't want to include Lesbians... either way, we walked on...

I think that in the last 5-10 years, LGBT is more mainstream and there is less of a need for community. I miss community of the old days. Where we fiercely loved and encouraged each other...

A few years ago, we moved to a very redneck community (for work) and we realize how dear our old friends are to us. We work harder to stay close to them to this day!

I hope we meet LGBT or Straight couples on our upcoming cruise in January (Costa) that will just enjoy our company and not be obsessed with how "different" we are! (ever notice how some straights always want to talk about your "gayness" when you are around?? Ha! Gets old!! Ha!!!)

Very interesting read! I would say that our limited experience is in line with most of the rest of you... Meh... We may see other couples but haven't interacted with them. we went to a FOD meet-up on HAL a couple years ago. We (two lesbian couples) walked up to a group of guys and said "hi" . Couple guys said "Hi" back but they all basically stopped talking and none offered to move their chairs so we could join them so we were under the impression that it was a "closed" group or that they just didn't want to include Lesbians... either way, we walked on...

 

I think that in the last 5-10 years, LGBT is more mainstream and there is less of a need for community. I miss community of the old days. Where we fiercely loved and encouraged each other...

 

A few years ago, we moved to a very redneck community (for work) and we realize how dear our old friends are to us. We work harder to stay close to them to this day!

 

I hope we meet LGBT or Straight couples on our upcoming cruise in January (Costa) that will just enjoy our company and not be obsessed with how "different" we are! (ever notice how some straights always want to talk about your "gayness" when you are around?? Ha! Gets old!! Ha!!!)

I hope if we met on a cruise, we would get along. But there are so many straight couples, it's not surprising if you meet more of them.

I hope if we met on a cruise, we would get along. But there are so many straight couples, it's not surprising if you meet more of them.

Me too!!!!

In my years of cruising, we find straight couples more interesting and chatty. Gay couples just have too many Hang-Ups for me.

In my years of cruising, we find straight couples more interesting and chatty. Gay couples just have too many Hang-Ups for me.

I don't see how you can make such a blanket statement.

NCL have tended to have a bigger gay group, the meeting place is usually a quieter bar, so not swamped with other passengers meeting for a pre-dinner drink etc. RCL & Celebrity tend to be half hearted, a meeting point in the main bar at 7pm, the tables are taken up by straight passengers so there’s no chance to get chatting to fellow LGBT guests. Probably more likely to meet up in the sauna than in the bar!

If they hold a meeting at a place where everyone else can go, how do you know which people are there for the LGBT get together? Do they designate a special section of the bar?