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When do you let kids explore the boat or stay in the room on their own?


ladyjade3
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At what age do you not get the side-eye from other passengers and staff if your kids are exploring on their own? Obviously a 3 year old can't be toddling about independently, but a 12 year old should of course be fine a couple hours on their own, yes? If my kids are say 7-9 and I trust them is it OK to let them wander? Need some thoughts...

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We plan to all have walkie talkies, so... My main concern really is not my kids. I know they can behave and follow rules and be fine. Honestly I'm worried about getting in trouble with the ship or going afoul of some policy. Obviously they are not allowed in the casino, but I know they'd love to roam free a little bit...

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I would not let my under 12 year old "roam" aimlessly. That's trouble waiting to happen, even if they are "angels"! I would allow them to come and go to specific things for specific reasons....and then come back to me for further permission to do something else.

 

Older teens do hang out and seldom get into trouble...but the younger kids don't need to roam about with no purpose. The kid's clubs allow 9 year olds to "sign themselves in and out"..but not 7 year olds. You will have to be responsible for that age group.

 

I don't trust texting or walkie-talkies to tell me how my kids are doing. I want to SEE them, before I allow them to the next adventure. A cruiseship has in excess of 5000 people....crew and passengers.....it's like a city. Don't let your kids go too far astray.

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We plan to all have walkie talkies, so...

Keep in mind that walkie talkies are not reliable on board an all steel ship. Because it's all too easy to get disoriented on a huge ship with all kinds of nooks, crannies, doors and other fascinating things, a free roam may not be the best idea. Some ships do have improved wifi where cell phone connectivity can be relatively reliable but not all so it's worth checking with the cruise line before making plans.

Edited by Host Walt
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We were on a cruise this past March, and my oldest son was 11. He was able to check himself out of the kids club and explore on his own, with the caveat that he had to meet us at certain times. We were on Norwegian, so we downloaded their app onto two phones so we could text with each other, and he'd have one of the phones on him sometimes or we'd leave it in the room so he could check it if he stopped in. He made a friend the first day, so he was usually with someone. I don't think we got the stink-eye from anyone, but I also wasn't paying attention to it if we did. ;) It probably depends a lot on your kids and how you parent, if you're fine with them having freedom or if you want to constantly supervise them. My then 8-year-old was not given the same freedoms as his brother, partly because of his age and partly because I wouldn't necessarily trust him on his own (and honestly I don't think he'd be comfortable with it).

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My kids will be 10, 10 and 6 when we sail next summer. None of them is doing anything alone without a parent or Nana being with them, short of going to the bathroom while one of us waits outside the door or being signed into Adventure Ocean/the onboard Kids Club. I wouldn't leave them alone at a mall at home either. If they want to go play mini golf, that's fine, but one of us is going with them and will follow along. Now, if the oldest two were 15, and they all promised to stay together then I would probably feel differently, but not for the ages they are now.

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This question comes up often. IMHO, it is not so much about your child’s behavior or maturity, it is about the fact that you are traveling with 5000 people you do not know. Do not assume the ship is a safe place. We have been on cruises where people were warned away from the kids area since they were lingering/stalking/taking an unhealthy interest.

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On land or at sea we had rules for the children.

 

We always had a game plan.

 

When the children were old enough to explore on their own it was often with one or more other children and we had set rules including when we would meet up with them.

 

Each child is different in maturity so a range of ten to twelve is around when our children explored on their own.

 

Keith

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My kids will be 10, 10 and 6 when we sail next summer. None of them is doing anything alone without a parent or Nana being with them, short of going to the bathroom while one of us waits outside the door or being signed into Adventure Ocean/the onboard Kids Club. I wouldn't leave them alone at a mall at home either. If they want to go play mini golf, that's fine, but one of us is going with them and will follow along. Now, if the oldest two were 15, and they all promised to stay together then I would probably feel differently, but not for the ages they are now.

 

THANK YOU. Although ... I feel I can't further list my reasons why it shouldn't be done.

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This question comes up often. IMHO, it is not so much about your child’s behavior or maturity, it is about the fact that you are traveling with 5000 people you do not know. Do not assume the ship is a safe place. We have been on cruises where people were warned away from the kids area since they were lingering/stalking/taking an unhealthy interest.

 

THIS ... is exactly why I wouldn't let kids running around on their own. So good that you made it clear.

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At what age do you not get the side-eye from other passengers and staff if your kids are exploring on their own? Obviously a 3 year old can't be toddling about independently, but a 12 year old should of course be fine a couple hours on their own, yes? If my kids are say 7-9 and I trust them is it OK to let them wander? Need some thoughts...

 

This might be a cultural issue. My 10 year old took her 5 year old by public bus alone to a science museum and made sure he got lunch.

 

Scandinavian kids tend to be allowed more freedom than most. What are they used to? Do you have the experience that they can handle being on their own?

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As long as the children are behaving, there shouldn't be any difficulty. Few if any people are going to approach a child to ask where parents are, when there's every chance that parents may be in sight twenty yards away. As for "stranger danger", there's a lot less of it on board ship than on land because no-one on the ship has either a getaway car or a secluded place to take a child. There's no reason not to give your children as much freedom as they have at home.

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My son was 11 on our first cruise. We let him go places like the Arcade and ropes course on his own. No, he didn't wander off for hours and he always knew where we would be. We wouldn't leave our spot until he came back. We also used the iconcierage app to track any purchases he made. Depends on the kid, mine is pretty responsible and he knew the consequences if he didn't follow directions.

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This might be a cultural issue. My 10 year old took her 5 year old by public bus alone to a science museum and made sure he got lunch.

 

Scandinavian kids tend to be allowed more freedom than most. What are they used to? Do you have the experience that they can handle being on their own?

 

In many US cities, the kids would have been picked up by police, parents brought in, having to leave work middle of the day, and there could be legal and child welfare ramifications.

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In many US cities, the kids would have been picked up by police, parents brought in, having to leave work middle of the day, and there could be legal and child welfare ramifications.

 

I know. It feels weird to parents living here. We also let our babies sleep unattended in prams outdoors in non-freezing temperatures. Nothing ever happens. I remember TWO kids that were taken in the whole country in my lifetime. I’m close to 60. Different cultures, different ways of life.

 

Isn’t that part of what travelling is about? Learning about how the rest of the world lives?

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This question comes up often. IMHO, it is not so much about your child’s behavior or maturity, it is about the fact that you are traveling with 5000 people you do not know. Do not assume the ship is a safe place. We have been on cruises where people were warned away from the kids area since they were lingering/stalking/taking an unhealthy interest.

 

 

A cruise ship has thousands of private closed off bedrooms. Not saying anything will happen but if someone is on the ship with bad intentions they have a lot more privacy to do as they please than a mall or other public venue. Even the best behaved kids can be lead astray and find themselves in a situation they cannot get themselves out of. I think kids need to be older, wiser and more aware to be on their own on a cruiseship. I am all for independence and allowing children to prove themselves but at 7-9yrs old a cruise ship is not the place for this.

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My daughter was given privileges to sign herself in and out of the kids club when she was 9. Before we sailed, I drew up a contract with specific conditions for her to follow in order to keep this privilege. One of the biggest points was that she could not go down any cabin-only decks. She always had to walk across the public decks, then take the elevator or stairs that landed her right next to our cabin. She had to prove to me she could get from our cabin and back by herself on the very first day. She also had to notify us where she was going before she left the cabin or the club, and then go straight to her destination (with quick a stop for ice cream while in route, if she wanted.) She loved having this privilege, and one day, hubby and I secretly followed her, just to check up on and also for a little entertainment of our own. (Had to make sure we weren’t spotted in the stairwells!) She did exactly as she was supposed to, and you could tell she felt liberated being “on her own” for the journey. Still, she spent most of the week hanging out with us, rather than roaming the ship. She just liked knowing she could go if she on her own wanted to.

She will be 12 on our next cruise, and the sign in/sign out for the kids club at that age is way more lax. So I’ve drawn up a new contract for her, that includes checking in with us before she leaves any area, and after she gets there. The other rules about cabin-only decks and navigating the first day still apply, but I’ve added a few more stipulations, like not accepting any drinks from anyone other than her parents or crew members.

 

 

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I LOVE how adults/parents apply grown up decision making skills to TINY little children with undeveloped, inexperienced, uneducated (in life skills) minds! You can NOT EXPECT a child of 7, 9, 12, 15, etc. to make the 'right', grown up, adult, mature decisions! It is NO WONDER children are snatched so easily. It's heart breaking and sad. If you want a vacation away from your kids .... leave the kids home.

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I LOVE how adults/parents apply grown up decision making skills to TINY little children with undeveloped, inexperienced, uneducated (in life skills) minds! You can NOT EXPECT a child of 7, 9, 12, 15, etc. to make the 'right', grown up, adult, mature decisions! It is NO WONDER children are snatched so easily. It's heart breaking and sad. If you want a vacation away from your kids .... leave the kids home.

12 and 15 really? I was babysitting at 13 and had a real job at 15. I became a supervisor at 16 which included closing down the store and counting down the tills, and even being in charge of people much older then I was. All while maintaining A/B's in school, still playing in the band and pep band, also while making time to ride and take care of my horse that I paid all expenses for out of my own money along with car insurance even though I didn't own a car. Pretty sure I was responsible and could have been trusted alone on a cruise ship. I know times have changed but not that much in 15 years.

 

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12 and 15 really? I was babysitting at 13 and had a real job at 15. I became a supervisor at 16 which included closing down the store and counting down the tills, and even being in charge of people much older then I was. All while maintaining A/B's in school, still playing in the band and pep band, also while making time to ride and take care of my horse that I paid all expenses for out of my own money along with car insurance even though I didn't own a car. Pretty sure I was responsible and could have been trusted alone on a cruise ship. I know times have changed but not that much in 15 years.

 

Sent from my XT1650 using Forums mobile app

 

I lived alone at the age of 16. Had to pay rent and food. Don’t keep kids as toddlers too long. Teach them skills. It’s safer

 

(My living alone at 16 wasn’t that good an idea. I didn’t copy it with my own daughter.)

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12 and 15 really? I was babysitting at 13 and had a real job at 15. I became a supervisor at 16 which included closing down the store and counting down the tills, and even being in charge of people much older then I was. All while maintaining A/B's in school, still playing in the band and pep band, also while making time to ride and take care of my horse that I paid all expenses for out of my own money along with car insurance even though I didn't own a car. Pretty sure I was responsible and could have been trusted alone on a cruise ship. I know times have changed but not that much in 15 years.

 

Sent from my XT1650 using Forums mobile app

 

I don't think times have changed as much as the belief in the capabilities of a kid. It used to be that one expected their kid to do things; now the expectation is more centered upon why their kid can't do things. (Simplified: Old School Dad - Mow my lawn. New School Dad - You have soccer on Saturdays, which is the best time to do it, and somebody in a white van might be trolling to see who they can grab; I will hire a service.)

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