Handicapped Phonies

Should this “documentation” be kept visible at all times to be viewed by the public to satisfy inquiring minds? Because I really feel it’s nobody’s business.

 

I am an attractive, 57-year-old. I’m quite positive you would never guess I had physical challenges. But I do.

 

Ever had mono or even the flu - that exhaustion and weakness? That’s what I have lived with 24/7 for the past 12 years. I’ve lost my career and my social life.

 

I will gladly give up riding my power chair to be full of good health again!

 

I have multiple autoimmune conditions which severely limit my energy output. I may awaken feeling fine but I’ve got 2-4 good hours before I lose strength and energy. Even sitting upright is often too much to bear. I may be able to “push through” but there’s always a price to pay. Pushing through for a day’s fun is sometimes doable but may land me in bed for the next two or three.

 

I have a handicapped tag on my vehicle and also a placard. I don’t actually leave home very often. But when I do, I very rarely use a handicapped spot. I reserve it for those times that I MUST go into the grocery store but feel like I may collapse at any given moment.

 

Now, I’ve got an upcoming cruise next month to Alaska. I was seriously considering bringing my power chair to reserve my energy onboard and hopefully saving enough energy to get off at port (without the chair) to go whale watching on a boat.

 

Or what if it’s a sea day and I decide to walk to the breakfast buffet?

 

But now I know what some people really think of me. I’ll be labeled a “phony” just trying to game the system.

 

To those who think that way - I pray you never need a wheelchair. [emoji17]

 

P.S. - I’m sorry if this sounds mean-spirited, Bonzo. I’m truly struggling with your post right now (it literally made me tear up) and whether or not to bring my chair.

The only thing I see mean Spirited is Bonzo’s post and those who agree with him.

I am an attractive, 57-year-old. I’m quite positive you would never guess I had physical challenges. But I do.

 

Ever had mono or even the flu - that exhaustion and weakness? That’s what I have lived with 24/7 for the past 12 years. I’ve lost my career and my social life.

 

I will gladly give up riding my power chair to be full of good health again!

 

I have multiple autoimmune conditions which severely limit my energy output. I may awaken feeling fine but I’ve got 2-4 good hours before I lose strength and energy. Even sitting upright is often too much to bear. I may be able to “push through” but there’s always a price to pay. Pushing through for a day’s fun is sometimes doable but may land me in bed for the next two or three.

 

I have a handicapped tag on my vehicle and also a placard. I don’t actually leave home very often. But when I do, I very rarely use a handicapped spot. I reserve it for those times that I MUST go into the grocery store but feel like I may collapse at any given moment.

 

Now, I’ve got an upcoming cruise next month to Alaska. I was seriously considering bringing my power chair to reserve my energy onboard and hopefully saving enough energy to get off at port (without the chair) to go whale watching on a boat.

 

Or what if it’s a sea day and I decide to walk to the breakfast buffet?

 

But now I know what some people really think of me. I’ll be labeled a “phony” just trying to game the system.

 

To those who think that way - I pray you never need a wheelchair.

 

P.S. - I’m sorry if this sounds mean-spirited, Bonzo. I’m truly struggling with your post right now (it literally made me tear up) and whether or not to bring my chair.

If it helps, it's stories like yours that have made me be extra careful about not even staring at people who I suspect might not have the right to use a handicapped space. Last week, I was parking in the pregnancy spots that are across the way from the handicapped spots and there was a young woman dressed in a nurse's aide uniform. I wasn't suspicious because she looked healthy (I'm well aware of the fact that many disabilities have no easily visible symptoms)- I was actually suspicious because she was wearing a nurse's aides scrubs, and I assumed she was a home health aide who had borrowed her employers car and was using his or her placard which she can't use for parking when she's alone. But it was entirely possible that she herself had an invisible disability, so I made sure not to even look at her since I would rather let a lot of people lying go by than cause pain to another person who legitimately deserves the spot like you. I'm so sorry for what you've gone through and hope you have a nice vacation - Alaska is beautiful.

Bless everyone who is going through whatever malady they live with. Sincerely.....people have stuff they’re going through that’s visible and not visible, both

Gotta say, watching some people trying to “out disability” each other, is absurd and even comical...one trying to outdo the other.

Kinda like people trying to justify the need to bring their pets with them on a cruise.

I’m trying to make sense of it!

I just returned from the Pride of America and also an interesting return flight to California. I wear a brace and will until the day I die. Sometimes I can walk well and have no issues and other times I am like a weeble-wobble and I can fall down. I do not feel I need to discuss my private medical history but rather than deal with those accusing stares and snide remarks I show my brace and say, this is my life until I die. One man actually almost knocked me over in the airport to make sure his seat was changed to sit by friends. He did apologize when I told him why I was allowed to get on the plane like seriously they are assigned seats so special favors except for protecting me from being pushed and shoved.

I am hoping I will get stronger and not need any special accommodations; I am hoping a parking placard is not needed; I am kinder to those with a disability because though I will always have one, I hope I can give up my seat to someone who needs it more.

I agree with other posters that not all disabilities are visible. I also agree that for some of us you may need assistance but "pride" makes you not ask unless you really cannot go on. But gosh darn if the fake dog disability dog acts still just tick me off!

It is not up to us to judge but how many would like to display their private health issues to others?

There’s photos on them there placards!!!! They are supposed to be visible to someone outside the car. You can casually check out their status without making a big deal of it or embarrassing a disabled person with an unseen Disability.

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A long time ago... I took the words widely attributed to Philo to heart: "Be kind, for everyone you meet is [also] fighting a great battle".

 

What is described here is also referred to by Southwest crew as "The Southwest Miracle"... 8 people need wheelchairs to get on the plane... yet only 3 needed them to get off; a miracle.

 

Nonetheless, one does not know who.... so my first observation (Philo) is a good one to live by IMHO.

I was actually on a flight from DFW to FLL one time - 43 people needed assistance boarding and only 3 needed help getting off.

We just returned from the Dawn and having a 'actually disabled spouse' were seated in the special needs area for boarding no wheelchair required just medical O2 etc. . The number of people claiming to be disabled was outrageous. One party in particular was ranting and raving about a lack of a NCL supplied wheelchair for his wife which they did receive eventually. Guess what ? Every time we saw them she was walking just fine through the Atrium Buffet and the Casino. Guess who showed up at disembarkation day looking for a wheelchair again. Some kind of documentation should be required to obtain the 'handicap status'

Is you "spouse's actual disability" judging others and making assumptions about them like you do?

There’s photos on them there placards!!!! They are supposed to be visible to someone outside the car. You can casually check out their status without making a big deal of it or embarrassing a disabled person with an unseen Disability.

 

 

 

 

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I live in the northeast and have traveled extensively to the mid Atlantic and south eastern states and have not seen a handicapped placard with a photo on it; not even my 90 year old grandmother.

But, even if they exist in some states, I can guarantee that photo is not for the public ( read busybody) to casually check out the validity of the user.

Get real.

There’s photos on them there placards!!!! They are supposed to be visible to someone outside the car. You can casually check out their status without making a big deal of it or embarrassing a disabled person with an unseen Disability.

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Not in NY.

Disembarkation was delayed in Seattle on our last cruise for about 2 hours. We had to be out of rooms by 8:30. We wondered around the ship looking for a place to sit. Every place was packed. We finally found a spot in Fizz lounge. I was then approached by someone who asked, "do you need a wheelchair". I said, no. She said "this lounge is only for people who need a wheelchair'. I was stunned, but I felt bad and just got up to leave. Then someone else approached me and said, "sit down, you are allowed to sit down, don't listen to her". At that point I didn't know what to do, so my husband and I just got up and sat on the floor.......what else could be do? Our seat was promptly taken by a very young couple who had danced up a storm on the ship. The same lady told them and they told her to mind her own business.............I actually didn't know there was a special lounge for those that needed assistance, but once I was informed, I could not in good conscience continue to "take" a chair someone who needed assistance needed.

I live in the northeast and have traveled extensively to the mid Atlantic and south eastern states and have not seen a handicapped placard with a photo on it; not even my 90 year old grandmother.

 

 

 

But, even if they exist in some states, I can guarantee that photo is not for the public ( read busybody) to casually check out the validity of the user.

 

 

 

Get real.

Well I live in South Carolina and my photo is on my placard and I can be ticketed if it is displayed with the picture and date hidden.

GET REAL.

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I don't think Bonzo meant any harm. Sometimes we just need to educate people on things they don't have all the information on. But that's ok. Letting people know that you might not see a disability but it doesn't mean people don't have one. Let's not be mean to Bonzo, educate him.

Well I live in South Carolina and my photo is on my placard and I can be ticketed if it is displayed with the picture and date hidden.

 

GET REAL.

 

 

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Well, such problem solving skills displayed by the law makers in South Carolina... it’s a shame they had to enact such a law to reduce the rampant fraud. And such behavior from that part of the country, I was shocked when I read about.

Thank you so much for clarifying. Naturally I was curious as to these great fraud devices and how they might work. I did see some images of these and those photo pictures don’t really look big enough to be seen from any distance. So I have some follow up questions.

Do you have to wait by your vehicle for a certain amount time so that fellow citizens have the opportunity to inspect your placard and confirm you match the photo? Since these are for fellow citizens to judge each other, does each person in SC get to write tickets for people they find guilty of not matching the photo? Do you have to wear a placard, photo and date visible, if you want to use the handicapped rest room, seating (theaters, airports, restaurants, cruise ship special needs areas) or other similar places?

You are a snarky, mean spirited person who had a really very narrow view on this issue. Like all of this could be solved with a ‘photo on them thar placards’.

I do wish you well and hope someday that you can see beyond yourself, bless your heart.

I am really perplexed by the reactions on this thread.

As I've mentioned, I'm disabled. I have ZERO issues with providing evidence of that to whichever establishment, cruise line, service provider, etc. requires in order to illustrate a valid need for special services. Just like I had to do with the DMV for my parking placard. If I am asking someone to provide a "special" service (that THEY are bearing the burden of any extra cost associated with the bigger room, additional manpower, etc.), it IS their business why I need it - and I have no issue providing it.

I am very confused as to why all the folks who are defending their right to utilize these free special services are so against a governance policy to ensure that only people truly in need use these services.

My interpretation of the original post is that there should be some way to screen/validate folks using these services. What is the problem with that? Why is it "mean"? What do truly disabled people have to hide? :confused:

If you choose to have your medical issues remain "private", then don't ask for special accommodations that you aren't paying extra for. Simple.

I too have MS and so glad my disease is under control so I have good days where I can walk and stand. I hope my "good" day is not an affront to you Bonzo!

The next day I may pay dearly and not be able to move. Thankfully we have your type as the "handicapped" police. Funny, it seems you have a pretty severe disability with EMPATHY. I try not to use resources when I don't need to, but the gall of examining passengers and judging them based on your opinion galls me.

I am really perplexed by the reactions on this thread.

 

 

My interpretation of the original post is that there should be some way to screen/validate folks using these services. What is the problem with that? Why is it "mean"? What do truly disabled people have to hide? :confused:

 

If you choose to have your medical issues remain "private", then don't ask for special accommodations that you aren't paying extra for. Simple.

I think the problem lies in the very title of the OP..."Handicapped Phonies" and then going on to imply a woman is phony because she did not need a wheelchair 24/7.

It is not the suggestion of validation that has ire up. It is the voice in which the OP is written.

The "Southwest Miracle" comment made me chuckle...I have seen it on other airlines too, apparently Southwest isn't the only airline with "healing" properties.

Y'all have fun.

I think the problem lies in the very title of the OP..."Handicapped Phonies" and then going on to imply a woman is phony because she did not need a wheelchair 24/7.

 

It is not the suggestion of validation that has ire up. It is the voice in which the OP is written.

I can see that, but I guess I ignored the emotion and focused on two things in the original post:

1) Someone who was looking for special services was ranting & raving (I think this is just rude regardless of the level of need!) and

2) The OP's suggestion that there needs to be governance.

I actually don't get insulted if people can't assess my disability by looking at me. In fact, I'm sure people misjudge the nature of my disability because my appearance is deceiving. But I know the reality so I honestly don't care what others think. I do care, however, whether or not I am able to get the assistance I require, and I stand by the fact that I have no issue at all providing evidence of my need. If everyone had to do that, I have a feeling that there just might be more accessible cabins available when I want to cruise! ;)

Disembarkation was delayed in Seattle on our last cruise for about 2 hours. We had to be out of rooms by 8:30. We wondered around the ship looking for a place to sit. Every place was packed. We finally found a spot in Fizz lounge. I was then approached by someone who asked, "do you need a wheelchair". I said, no. She said "this lounge is only for people who need a wheelchair'. I was stunned, but I felt bad and just got up to leave. Then someone else approached me and said, "sit down, you are allowed to sit down, don't listen to her". At that point I didn't know what to do, so my husband and I just got up and sat on the floor.......what else could be do? Our seat was promptly taken by a very young couple who had danced up a storm on the ship. The same lady told them and they told her to mind her own business.............I actually didn't know there was a special lounge for those that needed assistance, but once I was informed, I could not in good conscience continue to "take" a chair someone who needed assistance needed.

On most cruises there are two 'other' designated meeting places for debarkation. One is priority for whoever qualifies, you go to the meeting point and they personally escort you through some back (often crew) passages (usually) directly to the front of the debarkation line. The second is for special assistance. They bring a wheelchair and again (usually) take you directly to the front of the debarkation line, through the check out point and directly to the front of any customs line. While I am an ADA cruiser, I have only used the special needs debarkation one time out of my nine cruises. I have also enjoyed the priority debarkation.

Hang in there Satch... If I ever see an attractive woman on a scooter, I'll rent one so we can 'cruise' aroind the ship together, lol! In all seriousness, hope you have more better days and hope your prayer is answered..

Your post made me giggle. I can just see the headline now:

“Male Cruise Guest Accused of Stalking Attractive Middle-Aged Women on Scooters”

[emoji23]

I think the problem lies in the very title of the OP..."Handicapped Phonies" and then going on to imply a woman is phony because she did not need a wheelchair 24/7.

 

It is not the suggestion of validation that has ire up. It is the voice in which the OP is written.

"Mean" is when someones name is Bonzo and you call them Bozo because you find their comments not to your liking. Lighten up who ever wrote that. People make mistakes, no need to name call.

"Mean" is when someones name is Bonzo and you call them Bozo because you find their comments not to your liking. Lighten up who ever wrote that. People make mistakes, no need to name call.

I am really perplexed by the reactions on this thread.

 

As I've mentioned, I'm disabled. I have ZERO issues with providing evidence of that to whichever establishment, cruise line, service provider, etc. requires in order to illustrate a valid need for special services. Just like I had to do with the DMV for my parking placard. If I am asking someone to provide a "special" service (that THEY are bearing the burden of any extra cost associated with the bigger room, additional manpower, etc.), it IS their business why I need it - and I have no issue providing it.

 

I am very confused as to why all the folks who are defending their right to utilize these free special services are so against a governance policy to ensure that only people truly in need use these services.

 

My interpretation of the original post is that there should be some way to screen/validate folks using these services. What is the problem with that? Why is it "mean"? What do truly disabled people have to hide? :confused:

 

If you choose to have your medical issues remain "private", then don't ask for special accommodations that you aren't paying extra for. Simple.

I respect your point of view, but I don’t agree with parts; especially that it’s simple:

1) special services are not “free”; where governments provide the service, we pay for with our taxes

2) where resorts, including cruise ships, provide them, we pay for those with our fares

3) We have privacy laws in the US that are meant to protect all people and I for one am not going to prove to some misguided soul in a cruise ship terminal that I am, in fact, a bonafide handicap. I will gladly provide that where required by law, but otherwise, it’s no one else’s business. That is a huge part of the OP, he couldn’t see that another person was handicapped, so in his own words, she was a phony. That’s problematic for me. My guess is that even if that “phony” had all her credentials, he would still say she was phony because he couldn’t examine them or that she wasn’t handicapped enough.

4) knowing what I do about HIPPA laws, I can’t believe that any entity wants to see or deal with medical records

I do love these boards for the diversity of thought and wish you all nothing but the best...

I'm not sure what to say here. I haven't booked a cruise in a while because with my emphysema I know I can't walk up the ramp onto the ship. My wife tells me to get a wheelchair, but other than not being able to breath and only 61 years old, I don't "look" handicapped. Also, once I get up the ramp and on level ground I can walk (with oxygen). Anyway she convinced me to book one but this is exactly why I didn't want to. The same reason I try not to park in a handicap spot.

Gregor --

Sorry to hear of your challenges. Hopefully you will have many more cruises ahead of you!!!

In 2001, my sisters & I went on a cruise w/ my mother & 10 month old nephew. My mother was struggling w/ Emphysema, although she was not yet @ the point where she was utilizing oxygen, nor a scooter. However, she experienced challenges w/ too much walking & tired easily. This was all new to her - she had always been an exceptionally active person.

We convinced her to reserve the wheelchair, this allowed her to join us in most everything we did. Sometimes she walked on her own & sometimes she rode in the wheelchair. However, the wheelchair was always with Mom. While we were out, if Mom wasn't using it, whoever was holding the baby got a ride. At times there were dirty looks -- but luckily we all were enjoying ourselves too much to mind. For those who believe we were wrong to get the wheelchair for Mom - the wheelchair is what allowed Mom to reserve her energy & allowed her to enjoy her cruise.

Speed forward a quick year & both the oxygen and scooter became a reality. I would like to share - what a difference the wheelchair made in my mother's life, for this cruise. It gave her the ability to get out to enjoy life. Mom left us in 2007 - I would not trade the memories from our cruise for anything. These memories were mostly made possible because she utilized the wheelchair - although some people may have thought she looked like she didn't need it... They just didn't know any better...

Once again, hope you get to enjoy cruising for many years to come!!!!

-- Von

"Mean" is when someones name is Bonzo and you call them Bozo because you find their comments not to your liking. Lighten up who ever wrote that. People make mistakes, no need to name call.

I totally agree, there is no need for name calling, but I guess it isn't against the rules here.

I am the guilty party and no I am not apologizing nor am I lightening up on this subject. I do not care for those who judge the level of disability based on appearance or non use of mobility devices or oxygen.