What's causing bad behavior on cruise ships?

[cherylandtk]

I'm not sure "rudeness" is confined to cruiseships---drivers (at least in No. Va!) are rude as hell! Restaurants, offices....you name it.

I think it's a by-product of the cell phone, internet, etc....everyone is just too "into" themselves. There's no recognition that others share our space!

I agree with this as one reason why we are seeing increasingly rude behavior on cruise ships (as well as most aspects of life).

[icannotswim]

As of late, I find myself a little more tolerant of rude ill mannered behavior. The person or persons really responsible for their behavior is their parents. It is really kind of sad that they were not raised by parents that would take the time to teach them manners.

[navybankerteacher]

As a practical matter, once cruising became mainstream, rather than being a special indulgence, it only makes sense for the approach of the general public to life in general to apply to cruising.

 

Most of us with memories are aware that the level of courtesy in general life has lowered -- we should not be surprised that such debasing of standards applies to cruising as well. Unfortunately, there is the aggravating effect that being away from home environment has on peoples' conduct - there tends to be a "no rules" ( or, at least, a fewer rules) attitude once people are on vacation.

[kitty9]

i don't think that the lower prices have anything to do with it. when you have alot of people drinking theres going to be issues

 

Lower prices have a lot to do with it.

 

When I'm on Seabourn or Crystal, higher priced cruise lines, you have every level of income on board, from people who can write a check to pay for their cruise and not see a dent, to the ones who saved for years to afford this level of cruise. You have captains of industry to teachers to stock brokers to retired phone company linemen. And despite the fact that you have all kinds of passengers on these ships, from many different cultures, you do not see the rude, selfish and out of control behavior. Does it have to do with the environment on board--the fact that they are more formal in atmosphere and dress? Perhaps. But on Seabourn, you have alcohol included and I've yet to see a totally sloshed passenger behaving boorishly. Perhaps it's because it's mostly couples and VERY FEW kids on board. Is it because you have a higher average age? Regardless, on the higher priced cruises, you don't see the kinds of things that go on with the mass market lines.

[mathuzula]

I am 61 years old with a 8 year old girl. Having been on many cruises over the years, I would say that the level of Rude people and overall wildness of the younger set has given rise to the new craze of fights. Now let me tell you I was quite the rebel and would have been out there at the bar with the rest of them, but I have seen parents who don't seem to care and seem to condone rude behavior' and actual criminal behavior on some of the ships. The quality of life and respect for fellow passengers has declined. You can have have a good time at the bar and not go crazy! It seems to be a fad to swear and filght now days.

[simplelife]

As of late, I find myself a little more tolerant of rude ill mannered behavior. The person or persons really responsible for their behavior is their parents. It is really kind of sad that they were not raised by parents that would take the time to teach them manners.

This is true for children, but once someone reaches adulthood, they are responsible for themselves. To blame parents at that point is just a cop-out for not accepting responsibility. Adults can learn manners, too.

[JudeeJim]

It seems to me that manners/courtesy are no longer important to the general population on or off ships. Many people are so self-absorbed they think rules don't apply to them anywhere. I see so much rude behavior that courtesy stands out more because it's so rare.

Jjones, I have to agree with you. I fear for people who are going to be future leaders. Having worked in middle and high schools as a secretary I have seen first hand what is happening. Rules are to be broken and no one cares. Example, I was at the grocery store today and chose the 15 items of less and wouldn't you know the person before me had at least 30 items and the checker just went ahead and helped him . I mentioned this to another checker and perhaps the store should follow the rule they have put in place. I do have to admit I have never encountered rudeness on a cruise.

[maddiesky]

Probably the lack of consequences. During my youth, if I ever behaved like this, I knew what was coming once I got home. At time, I got what I deserved on the spot.

Exactly.

[spongerob]

We've been on 16 cruises and really haven't seen a lot of bad behavior. The worst we experienced involved a group of three extended families on their annual vacation. The group totalled about 150 people, and by the time they were done they had totalled the ship. Crewmembers told us that damages that were done by this group were in the tens of thousands of dollars and included vandalism of the teen center, vandalism of cabins, theft and vandalism of art works, intimidation of passengers, and that was just the teenagers. The adults were almost as bad.

 

I'm positive that a large amount of cash changed hands before this group disembarked. There was video evidence of some of the crimes. Police were also waiting at disembarkation and ID's were being checked before people were allowed off the ship.

 

The families involved were obviously very wealthy and seemed to consider this "normal" behavior for their children. The "old man" who appeared to be bankrolling everyone acted oblivious. I can only assume that they came from a society where they consider themselves above the law and can pay someone off when there is trouble.

[Sharon I]

When I first started cruising, it was only for the people that really could afford it. Last minute deals were not an option. The last minute deals are the part that is changing the cruise experience in my opinion.

We also are sailing with a more diverse crowd now. There are more and more people from different cultures sailing today. What may be acceptable in one culture is not in another. My opinion is: Why don't we all just try to get along? We are all after all just people here on this good earth for a short time and it should make no difference if you can afford a Presidential Suite or in Inside Cabin on the bottom of the ship. We are all on the same vacation so we should all just accept each others backgrounds and deal with it. I'm sure everybody would have a better time. Help somebody out that is behaving badly and encourage them to join in in more positive behavior. Of course the ships staff plays a big roll on this happening or not as well. Get involved and enjoy life.

I also think dress code does make a slight difference. Everybody acts so prim and proper on formal nights.

Sharon I

[Shonna]

When I first started cruising, it was only for the people that really could afford it. Last minute deals were not an option. The last minute deals are the part that is changing the cruise experience in my opinion.

We also are sailing with a more diverse crowd now. There are more and more people from different cultures sailing today. What may be acceptable in one culture is not in another. My opinion is: Why don't we all just try to get along? We are all after all just people here on this good earth for a short time and it should make no difference if you can afford a Presidential Suite or in Inside Cabin on the bottom of the ship. We are all on the same vacation so we should all just accept each others backgrounds and deal with it. I'm sure everybody would have a better time. Help somebody out that is behaving badly and encourage them to join in in more positive behavior. Of course the ships staff plays a big roll on this happening or not as well. Get involved and enjoy life.

I also think dress code does make a slight difference. Everybody acts so prim and proper on formal nights.

Sharon I

 

Sorry, Sharon diversity and cultural differences do not make peole behave badly. A lack of manners, selfishness, and a lack of enforcement of the rules on cruise ships are to blame. Rude and selfish people come from all walks of life and cross socioeconomic, cultural, and ethnic backgrounds.

Diverse culture backgrounds positively add to the cruise experience by allowing people to learn about each others' differences.

 

You are correct...we all need to relax, learn from each other, and enjoy vacation that we have been fortunate enough to take in the first place.

[Harry and Lucille]

Just cause I'm a retired construction worker don't mean I ain't got no couth. ;)

 

I feel that the 'me' attitude has become prevalent in our society. This reflects in cruise passengers attitudes. They either bring their everyday lives on board and are unable to unwind a bit, or, they completely become unsprung and forget that their actions and attitudes affect those around them. While it is everyones wish to see and do as much or as little as they want, they don't seem to slow down within their minds to see what is going on around themselves and conscience just doesn't seem to kick in. A little civility is not a bad thing but, it is impossible to re-educate some of them I guess. I enjoy my 'deck clothes'. I enjoy my tux on formal night. I can be grouchy old construction worker or, I can play someone of class. All depends on those around me. I will just blend in, move around or go away depending on what is going on. As it was once said. "Humans make the funniest animals", and, I enjoy em' all. Watch, chat with or hide from.

Yes. I am there for ME too, however, I try to use a little common sense and pay attention to my actions as not to impact other cruisers in a negative way. If we weren't there for the activity, rest and relaxation, food and to get away, we wouldn't be there would we. Just keeping a smile on my face takes the edge off of many situations. Harry :cool:

[AltarEgo]

It’s not just on cruise ships that boorish and obnoxious behavior exists; it’s society at large. Rudeness, incivility, anger, rage, vulgarity, bullying, bashing, selfish behavior and bad manners are not in your mind, it’s becoming prevalent in society at large. Some think rudeness is contagious, when people see so much of it; they start behaving badly, too.

 

There is an etiquette crisis and a toxic atmosphere of cynicism in this country. Bad parenting and the failure to instill good behavior in kids is the major cause of bad manners. Lack of respect, courtesy and rude behavior is a serious problem. In the past, people blamed parents for not instilling courtesy in their children, but today, a lot of popular culture is encouraging rude behavior. Kids used to be told to “keep a lid on it.” But today, all around them, they’re more guided by letting it all hang out, so it's okay to be ill mannered.

 

For example, how about these “role models”? Sports stars publicly display so much anger and violence on and off the court/field. They beat each other, run each other down with cars... and how about spitting in a baseball umpire’s face, head-butting a basketball referee, choking a baseball coach, bat-throwing, ear biting, and worse...Attacks at sporting events for children are so prevalent, that the National Association of Sports Officials now offers assault insurance to members. "Sideline rage" with parents behaving badly at youth sports events is such an epidemic, that the increase of spectator interference is causing many officials to quit.

Violent programs on TV lead to belligerent behavior by children and three major effects occur: children may become less sensitive to the suffering of others, may be more fearful of the world around them, and may be more likely to be aggressive toward others.

 

Technology is also part of the cause. With all the electronic interaction there is less and less social interaction and social skills are becoming obsolete. At the rapidly changing pace of today’s “connected” society, we’ve become impatient, and when someone slows us down, we get rude and angry. There’s road rage, air rage, cell phone rage, checkout rage, bike rage, sports rage, parking rage, rail rage, bank rage, roller rage, boat rage, desk rage, car alarm rage, and drivers who even honk at people on crutches. There’s even "funeral rage" – people actually flip the bird and cut off funeral processions. While alcohol may play a small part, incivility is the problem and it’s getting worse, and incivility increases the likelihood for violent and belligerent behavior.

 

Even workplace anger is on the upswing. A lot of people are feeling betrayed by their employers. Seeing that CEO paychecks are as much as 41 times the average manufacturing worker's salary makes people angry. Incivility on the job has worsened in recent years as well as the erosion of professional courtesy.

 

Regardless of the cause, angry people are more likely to be rude and disrespectful. The world would be a better place if we just said “please” and “thank you”.

[nofishforme]

In my opinion everything that has be said on this thread about people and technology all rings true .But the media is making a bigger deal then what it realy is .When you think about the number of people that cruise each year and the number of stories you here on the news it's low . I think the main problem is the cruise line its self ,They let this happen they dont try to stop it cause they want to fill the ship .Like most companies they have become afraid of there customer . Bad news travels fast with the internet

[pokyd]

I agree with the poster who said that the cruise lines put up with far too much of this. If this behavior occured in a restaurant (drunk, loud, rude, kids not monitored etc) they'd be thrown out on the sidewalk pronto. The casinos are VERY strict about not allowing minors in. Out you go if you're underage. Hotels evict guests who disturb others and/or cause damage to rooms.

 

WHY DON"T THE CRUISE LINES DO THIS? I know they VERY occasionally throw people off at a port, but I agree if they did it more often this behavior would cease. People do it because they can get away with it and the crew just lets it happen. Pretty soon the well-behaved passengers will select another vacation option if it continues to go the way it has been doing.

 

Cruise lines should enforce the rules. If they are so afraid of losing a few people's business then they are in bigger trouble than they think.

[Cruisenouvelle]

When I first started cruising, it was only for the people that really could afford it. Last minute deals were not an option. The last minute deals are the part that is changing the cruise experience in my opinion.

We also are sailing with a more diverse crowd now. There are more and more people from different cultures sailing today. What may be acceptable in one culture is not in another. My opinion is: Why don't we all just try to get along? We are all after all just people here on this good earth for a short time and it should make no difference if you can afford a Presidential Suite or in Inside Cabin on the bottom of the ship. We are all on the same vacation so we should all just accept each others backgrounds and deal with it. I'm sure everybody would have a better time. Help somebody out that is behaving badly and encourage them to join in in more positive behavior. Of course the ships staff plays a big roll on this happening or not as well. Get involved and enjoy life.

I also think dress code does make a slight difference. Everybody acts so prim and proper on formal nights.

Sharon I

What does this mean? I should encourage someone not to scream, run down the halls, defecate in the pool or whatever bad behavior I'm observing?? That's fine until the person 'behaving badly' strikes me or spits on me, which are real possibilities these days. Then what? Say it's okay because of a 'cultural difference' ?? Nope.

We're all on the same ship, but my idea of a vacation will vary widely from a bunch of rowdy 20-somethings or a family of ill behaved kids turned loose so Mom and Dad can relax by themselves. So no, I don't agree that we're all on the same vacation.

Acceptance and tolerance are two different concepts.

[mypleasure]

I agree with the poster who said that the cruise lines put up with far too much of this. If this behavior occured in a restaurant (drunk, loud, rude, kids not monitored etc) they'd be thrown out on the sidewalk pronto. The casinos are VERY strict about not allowing minors in. Out you go if you're underage. Hotels evict guests who disturb others and/or cause damage to rooms.

 

WHY DON"T THE CRUISE LINES DO THIS? I know they VERY occasionally throw people off at a port, but I agree if they did it more often this behavior would cease. People do it because they can get away with it and the crew just lets it happen. Pretty soon the well-behaved passengers will select another vacation option if it continues to go the way it has been doing.

 

Cruise lines should enforce the rules. If they are so afraid of losing a few people's business then they are in bigger trouble than they think.

 

I love this post. I agree with what most have said regarding the possible causes of poor behaviour but this post wins because it outlines what the cruise lines need to be doing.

 

IF the cruiselines started to enforce rules on the ships then those exhibiting bad behaviour would have consequences of their actions and would be forced to take personal responsibility. Once word got around the behaviour would start to change pretty quickly.

 

Parents should be warned of the consequences of their childrens actions, drunks should be removed back to their cabins, damage should be billed and in some cases they should be confined to their rooms pending removal at the next port. In many cases a stern warning that any of these things could happen should be enough and if it isn't well here are the consequences.

[RetireeWannabee]

While I think the low fares are attracting new and inexperienced travelers/cruisers, I think it has more to do with the fact that cruise lines have rules, but will not enforce them! There are rules for dress code, hogging chairs, and children being allowed in adult areas (Solarium, and hot tubs). However, I rarely see any staff members enforcing these rules. If rules are not enforced people will continue to behave badly.

Yep. this is how Anything Goes starts.

[gillianrose]

There are many reasons for bad behavior.

 

For one thing, cruises have become more multi-generational over the years, and different generations are often at odds with one another. Even with special programs for children and teenagers, no one is forced to attend.

 

On cruise ships people know that the people they meet they will not likely ever see again. Therefore, in some cases, people are less guarded or careful in their interactions with one another.

 

I also think that disappointment plays a factor. People see ads on TV and in magazines that make cruising look more attractive than it often is nowadays. Passengers are disappointed when they can't find a decent chair around the pool or in the showroom. They are disappointed when they have to pay for things that used to be included.

 

And as several have said, one of the biggest problems is that crew members often do not enforce policies such as chair hogging, etc., so people are left to fend for themselves and that leads to arguments sometimes.

[Monte cruiser]

There isn't a simple answer to this problem. Traditional cruisers behaved themselves. There was a certain decorum attached to cruising. Behavior relating to alcohol is certainly having an affect. People on various socio-economic levels believe they have the right to question authority and do something about it when they do not agree with decisions.

On my first cruise in 1983, we missed going to Nassau because of a hurricane. A group of people complained that we could have gone, that it wasn't so bad. How did they know this? There was no internet to check. What was their experience commanding a large ship at sea? Did not this captain with 20+ years of experience know better? I had relatives on Nassau at the time and they had to remain a couple of extra days because of the storm.

There is also a segment of society that believes rules apply to others not themselves. Some cruise lines accerbate the problem by not taking a stand. I once complained to a Princess Maitre 'D that people wore shorts to dinner when the sign at the entrance to the dining room specifically prohibted shorts at dinner. The answer I received was, "We understand but we do not want to offend." I stated that they were offending more people by not offending one. However, on an NCL ship I witnessed a family turned away from a dining room because the teenage children were in shorts when, again, a sign was prominently displayed prohibitting shorts. The woman complained dramatically taking it to the Maitre 'D of the specific dining room. He politely but firmly held his ground and the woman left in a huff. I applauded as she left. I received an unpleasant look from her but expressed my appreciation to the Maitre 'D.

[Fredr]

Hello,

 

A very interesting thread and as always it is the culture wars that are causing the problems. If only the "liberals" would teach their children good manners. I am reminded that a significant number of persons from shall we say supposedly well mannered homes and brought up with family values thought that it was great that Joe Wilson (a middle aged white attorney) called the President a liar. And that it is okay to interrupt a speech to the nation.

 

On cruise ships there does seem to be more troubled persons and based on our 30 cruises, they come in all sizes, shapes, colors, ages, and sexual preferences. And political persuasions, religion, and regions of the USA and the world.

 

On our last cruise at breakfast in the MDR there was a white Anglo Saxon Protestant retired bush pilot (age about 50 or so) from Alaska who could not refrain from using profanity. Richard Nixon's language (he came from a very religious Quaker family) was so bad that his White House tapes had to be censured.

 

George Patton, who really was a great General (my opinion) often could not put a sentence together without profanity despite the fact that he came from an especially successful and highly educated family. There were times when his superiors and friends, Omar Bradley and Dwight Eisenhower told him to tone his language down.

 

My point...the cultural wars are a phony argument when it comes to good manners. There are exceptionally well manered people from all walks of life and there are those who for whatever reason cannot behave in a reasonable manner.

[grandmato4]

As most have said, I think there are several reasons. People in general today have become self-centered, and as a result, manners are far below what they should be. The cruiselines are reluctant to enforce their own rules and some in the media are quick to sensationalize anything that goes wrong on a cruiseship.

 

It is a much more deverse population that cruises today compared to 10 years ago. Many book their cruises on line without any personalized information about the realities of cruising nor do they do any research before taking their cruise. Not that brick and mortor TA's always gave their customers the information they needed before cruising in the days gone by, but at least there was a greater chance of that happening than today. People have a perception of what cruising is going to be like and when its not it creates some very unhappy people. Ironically its not unusual for someone to have cruised once or twice before and simply to have had everything go right so they are left to assume many things and when they are finally on a cruise where all is not perfect they become extremely upset.

 

I'm sorely afraid that it is only going to get worse and not better. As crusielines stuggle to stay profitable and fill their ships I do beleive that base prices of cruises will stay where they currently are but there will be reductions in things that many that have cruised for years have come to expect which will only make those cruisers unhappy. Those new to cruising have unrealistic expectations that will not be met and also cause them to not be happy. I find it interesting to look into the cystal ball and try to guess what cruising will look like in another ten years;):(

[Aquahound]

I think the lower fares just attract a crowd with a different sort of rudeness. I say this on the premise that rudeness exists at all income levels.

 

The line cutting, arrogant, pushing into elevators before others get out, bare handed buffet, cell phones in the theater people are everywhere. However, the cruise lines are starting to attract a crowd with more violent tendencies.

 

My number one reason.......higher numbers of "do whatever I want" attitudes.

[Palladium]

We have been on almost 40 cruises and how things have changed.

 

We noticed a difference in behaviour when Anytime Dining and when Norwegian brought in the Casual Clothing - all the time if you wanted it.

 

There was something about Casual, SEMI-FORMAL (not smart casual) and Formal evenings. It meant something.

 

Now, you see shorts in the dining room next to someone who is wearing a tux. And does the Maitre D enforce it - NO - because some passenger might get ticked off and cut his tips. No one enforces anything.

 

There are people who never see the inside of the dining room because they don't want a set time to eat, the same waiter or busboy. This way they don't have to face that person if they are rude the next night.

 

Also - this prepaid gratuities - it makes some people think they can do whatever they want because they are getting charged for the service. We liked the envelopes a lot better - it made people work harder and people appreciate and reward those who worked hard.

 

When we were on Caribbean Princess in the spring we had almost 900 children on board. Some were absolutely delightful. Others were running up and down the halls between stores and screaming and yelling. We looked at the security guard and he just shrugged his shoulders. He had no intention of doing anything.

 

The kids who were clearly underage were drunk - and screaming in the elevators. You could not walk through a hallway without the noise, and disrespect. We saw one elderly gentleman on a walker have to move for a teenager. Who forget to teach that child to respect the elderly and disabled?

 

One of the biggest problems today is that parents want to be their chidlren's friends and forget that you can be their friends when they are of legal age. They do not want to upset their children. Well, they are upsettting other passengers.

 

It is not only children - the adults today have no manners. They forget the words please and thank you - the staff are working hard to make your vacationa fun and memorable. They are NOT YOUR SLAVES.

 

People barge in lines when the rest of us have been waiting - with the line - it will only take a minute. Well, so have the rest of us been waiting for their turn.

 

Everyone gets 24 hours in a day, what make you think your 24 hours are more important than mine?

 

I have seen people refuse to use the hand sanitizer on Princess because they washed their hands a couple of minutes ago - when the rest of us are told to do it and followed the rules.

 

The rules were made so that people could have a nice vacation, not a confrontation. I am on vacation to get away from the hassles of everyday life and what do I encounter - more hassle.

 

The adult pools at the stern of the ships on Princess cruises - ARE FOR ADULTS ONLY. What happens, one kid gets in, then no one says anything and the next thing you know it is now full of kids. Staff do nothing but watch. Well, maybe I should just go ahead and be a kid again and go in the kid and teen pool and participate in their activities because they are participating in mine. Would someone say something to me?

 

You cannot swim in the regular pools because kids and adults doing cannonballs - which no one stops - is not safe.

 

At what point is someone going to stop this behaviour?

[JudeeJim]

What does this mean? I should encourage someone not to scream, run down the halls, defecate in the pool or whatever bad behavior I'm observing?? That's fine until the person 'behaving badly' strikes me or spits on me, which are real possibilities these days. Then what? Say it's okay because of a 'cultural difference' ?? Nope.

We're all on the same ship, but my idea of a vacation will vary widely from a bunch of rowdy 20-somethings or a family of ill behaved kids turned loose so Mom and Dad can relax by themselves. So no, I don't agree that we're all on the same vacation.

Acceptance and tolerance are two different concepts.

Not a problem if someone behaving badly strikes you or spits on you. All you have to do is sue them.