swscruiser Posted May 30, 2010 #1 Share Posted May 30, 2010 We were on the Solstice 5/16. Went to dinner the 1st night. We were at a table for 10. When we got to the table 2 couples were already seated and talking, we did not want to interupt their conversation, they were discussing where each couple was from etc. After 10-15 Minutes neither couple even acknowledged we had sat down right next to them so we asked for a new table and got a table for 2. This was our 29th cruise and never had anyone totally ingnore us when first sitting down at a table. Keith Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare Lois R Posted May 30, 2010 #2 Share Posted May 30, 2010 We were on the Solstice 5/16. Went to dinner the 1st night. We were at a table for 10. When we got to the table 2 couples were already seated and talking, we did not want to interupt their conversation, they were discussing where each couple was from etc. After 10-15 Minutes neither couple even acknowledged we had sat down right next to them so we asked for a new table and got a table for 2. This was our 29th cruise and never had anyone totally ingnore us when first sitting down at a table.Keith Hi Keith,:) sounds like you had 4 rude folks:(....so sorry about that! I sail solo and always ask for a large table. I can't think of one where I have been totally ignored before but I have changed tables a couple of times over the years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare TracieABD Posted May 30, 2010 #3 Share Posted May 30, 2010 That is just sad... Too bad that some folks just don't have manners. I hope that you enjoyed the intimate seating that you were able to get!:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackdiamond Posted May 31, 2010 #4 Share Posted May 31, 2010 One of the major advantages of Blu is you have a table for two, but it is close enough to another table that you can interact if you are so inclined. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
journeymore Posted May 31, 2010 #5 Share Posted May 31, 2010 We were on the Solstice 5/16. Went to dinner the 1st night. We were at a table for 10. When we got to the table 2 couples were already seated and talking, we did not want to interupt their conversation, they were discussing where each couple was from etc. After 10-15 Minutes neither couple even acknowledged we had sat down right next to them so we asked for a new table and got a table for 2. This was our 29th cruise and never had anyone totally ingnore us when first sitting down at a table.Keith I don't know what Miss Manners says but I was always taught when you enter a room, table etc. you were responsible for acknowledging the people that are already there. IMO you should have said hello and introduced yourselves. "Hello, excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt, we are ...." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeorgeL Posted May 31, 2010 #6 Share Posted May 31, 2010 I don't know what Miss Manners says but I was always taught when you enter a room, table etc. you were responsible for acknowledging the people that are already there. IMO you should have said hello and introduced yourselves. "Hello, excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt, we are ...." I was about to say the same thing. Sometimes waiting for an invitation to join is not the best way to proceed. When I join a table I usually introduce myself as soon as there is an opportunity (so as not to interrupt an ongoing conversation) and I have never had the experience of being ignored after that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lysolqn Posted May 31, 2010 #7 Share Posted May 31, 2010 I don't know what Miss Manners says but I was always taught when you enter a room, table etc. you were responsible for acknowledging the people that are already there. IMO you should have said hello and introduced yourselves. "Hello, excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt, we are ...." Sounds like you're excusing rude behavior on the part of the folks already at the table since among other things, good manners is about making people feel comfortable and welcome. Thus, when the OP didn't "acknowledge" the two couples there (perhaps he was shy, felt awkward or was simply trying to show good manners by not interrupting), they most certainly should have had manners enough to acknowledge him rather than ignore him and pretend he wasn't there. That's just plain rude. JMHO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalitos Posted May 31, 2010 #8 Share Posted May 31, 2010 We were on the Solstice 5/16. Went to dinner the 1st night. We were at a table for 10. When we got to the table 2 couples were already seated and talking, we did not want to interupt their conversation, they were discussing where each couple was from etc. After 10-15 Minutes neither couple even acknowledged we had sat down right next to them so we asked for a new table and got a table for 2. This was our 29th cruise and never had anyone totally ingnore us when first sitting down at a table.Keith That must have been very unpleasant. Hasn't happened to me on a cruise but yes on larger events tables. Besides unfortunately we've all encountered rude behavior sometime, somewhere. No doubt they should have paused for a moment and acknowledge you before continuing their conversation. Maybe though if you had tried to introduce yourselves things have gone in a very different (and more pleasant) direction. Hope you had a great vacation otherwise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OhioDogLover Posted May 31, 2010 #9 Share Posted May 31, 2010 That's a shame. We had a similar experience once when the other people at the table just would not talk to us. Oh well, you never know. Ohiodoglover Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
axio99 Posted May 31, 2010 #10 Share Posted May 31, 2010 swscruiser, you know what? they should be the ones who should get a 2 seater table and not you since they are so anti-social I just got off the Infinity last Friday and we did not eat at the formal restaurant on the first day as we were lazy to dress up. However once we ate there the 2nd day we never stopped as we had great dining mates. I was travelling with my parents and we were on a 6 seater table and the other 3 were also a pair of parents travelling with their son...we had such a blast that we ended up doing alot of things together during the cruise When it came to time to disembark, it was really sad but now we had an open invitation to visit and stay with them in the UK. And even on days when we had open seating, we had good dining mates, not always talking alot to each other but not as snobbish as yours at least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CruisinNole Posted May 31, 2010 #11 Share Posted May 31, 2010 My husband and I experienced that once. We arrived at our table for six the first night and two other couples were already seated. The other two couples were obviously cruising together and totally ignored us. We kind of figured that they didn't want anyone else sitting at their table. My husband and I started talking to each other and even said, very quietly, that we might want to ask for a different table. Eventually, the other couples started talking to us and it turned out that they were lifelong friends, on their first cruise and one of the group had terminal cancer. He had a "bucket list" and a cruise with his good friends was on it. We ended up staying at the table and really enjoying ourselves but our dining experience started out very strange. I would not hesitate to ask for a different table if you were treated rudely the entire meal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandancer Posted May 31, 2010 #12 Share Posted May 31, 2010 We were once sat at a table of 8 and the only people there were a couple with their 15 year old daughter. Not only did they not want to make conversation but the mother suggested that it would be a good idea if we asked to move to another table. We did not need asking twice. It was a 14 night cruise and the thought of spending every evening in a frosty atmosphere just did not appeal. We moved and had great tablemates who we are still in touch and the very best waiter in all of our cruises. Since then we have chosen Select or Anytime dining whenever possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CelebrityMan Posted May 31, 2010 #13 Share Posted May 31, 2010 We were on the Solstice 5/16. Went to dinner the 1st night. We were at a table for 10. When we got to the table 2 couples were already seated and talking, we did not want to interupt their conversation, they were discussing where each couple was from etc. After 10-15 Minutes neither couple even acknowledged we had sat down right next to them so we asked for a new table and got a table for 2. This was our 29th cruise and never had anyone totally ingnore us when first sitting down at a table.Keith Hi, That was undoubtedly most uncomfortable. Kudos for snagging a 2-top! In nearly 30 years of cruising I've had this type of situation happen once, but it was a language barrier which doesn't sound like the case, here, for you. I'm surprised Celebrity hadn't seated more folk at your 10 person table in the time you were there. Keep sailing, you'll meet some wonderful tablemates! CM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruin Steve Posted May 31, 2010 #14 Share Posted May 31, 2010 I've done a lot of cruising... We always request a large table... So, I've had just about every imaginable table situation... We had one cruise where we were seated at a table for 10 but the other 8 were all in the same family--grandparents, two grown kids with spouses and two grandchildren... The second night they didn't show, so we sat at a table for ten by ourselves...the third night, we found out that THEY asked for another table...The never said anything to us about it...We talked to the Maitre d' and he found us another table and moved us that night... We thought that was strange and likely would never happen again...but it did! ...but even stranger... This past January on Mariner of the Seas, we showed up at our table for 8, but found there were 10 of us...The other 8 were all members of the same family...So, when the dust settled, they seated us at another table--the next table over...also a table for 8...BUT, nobody else showed up that first night...or the second night...They CLAIMED there were six others assigned to this table...by the third night, we demanded to be moved to another table...and were accommodated... But, in general, here is how I look at the social aspect of large table cruise seating...You hope everyone is "in" on the deal...that they know how to act in this sort of social situation...But not everyone does...Some folks are just very introverted...Some folks are new to cruising and have never had to deal with this before...Some folks need a spur...or a sign that it's okay to open up... I NEVER assume that anyone else is going to make it a point to talk to ME...I look at that as MY job...When I sit at a table, whether it's my regular dining assignment or at an open seating breakfast or lunch, If things are quiet, I immediately introduce my wife and myself and ask questions, if necessary to spur conversation...If the conversation is already going when I get there, I wait for an appropriate break and then speak up...obviously, you don't break in rudely...but there will always be some appropriate pause where you can join in to the conversation...I guess it's an art...it's a social skill that is somewhat essential at times...You cannot always assume others will involve you if you do nothing to invite or instigate it yourself... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patty1955 Posted May 31, 2010 #15 Share Posted May 31, 2010 Is it possible that some people ask for a large table and are not aware that means more people will sit with them? Maybe they're thinking that they'll have more room at a larger table? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeorgeL Posted May 31, 2010 #16 Share Posted May 31, 2010 Is it possible that some people ask for a large table and are not aware that means more people will sit with them? Maybe they're thinking that they'll have more room at a larger table? That seems highly unlikely and/unrealistic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orlandocruiser Posted May 31, 2010 #17 Share Posted May 31, 2010 I had an interesting experience on the Solstice one morning at the buffet. It was a day that all the excursions started really early so the place was mobbed. I found a table for 2 that was situated very close to another table for 2 as they all are. When I sat down the women at the other table shifted in her seat and turned her head toward the partition and there she stayed the entire time. She didn't even give me a chance to say hello or even smile. I kept looking at her (I'll admit just to irritate her) until DH sat down and then proceeded to have an enjoyable conversation with him. I wonder why people who are so anti social even bother to cruise - it must be miserable for them to have to associate with the rest of us. I don't think she was shy - after all even a shy person is likely to smile or nod his head. I certainly hope she had a table for two in the dining room! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pris993 Posted May 31, 2010 #18 Share Posted May 31, 2010 I had an interesting experience on the Solstice one morning at the buffet. It was a day that all the excursions started really early so the place was mobbed. I found a table for 2 that was situated very close to another table for 2 as they all are. When I sat down the women at the other table shifted in her seat and turned her head toward the partition and there she stayed the entire time. She didn't even give me a chance to say hello or even smile. I kept looking at her (I'll admit just to irritate her) until DH sat down and then proceeded to have an enjoyable conversation with him. I wonder why people who are so anti social even bother to cruise - it must be miserable for them to have to associate with the rest of us. I don't think she was shy - after all even a shy person is likely to smile or nod his head. I certainly hope she had a table for two in the dining room! Some folks, probably just like to keep to themselves. That is the way we are, consequently, we generally have breakfast and lunch in our cabin. If we eat in the Lido we go on off times when it is not crowded. We really like the peace in quiet which is not possible in the Lido during busier times. We do get a table for 2 in the MDR as well. We find making small talk with folks we don't know tiring. We do socialize with folks for short times but not during meals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bug_dan Posted May 31, 2010 #19 Share Posted May 31, 2010 One of the nice things about joining a roll call for your cruise is that you may have an opportunity to set up a table with others from the roll call. We've done this on our last two cruises by just asking if anyone would want to join us, had the best table mates on both cruises. Always thought it would be nice if you could arrange to get tables for roll call members in the same area of the MDR:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trustee55 Posted May 31, 2010 #20 Share Posted May 31, 2010 Hi! On a Canada-New England cruise last fall on the Constellation as soon as we sat down the other couple asked what religion we were. When we told them Roman Catholic, the gentleman immediately tried to convert us to their "Born Again" Christian religion. And he was just vehement about it. It was most uncomfortable to say the least. We asked to be moved, got moved to the next table, and then had one of the enjoyable cruises of all time. We are all cruising together again this fall. And the biggest plus of all was we got our waiter from a previous cruise..Gede! Cheers, Carol Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I love my cat Licky Posted June 16, 2010 #21 Share Posted June 16, 2010 Last year, DH and I had a couple sitting at our table who were very quiet, but the next night a third couple came and sat two seats down from them. They began talking to the third couple and by the next night, the couple that was sitting next to us moved down to be near the third couple and you couldn't shut the four of them up. They were of course speaking to each other and never said another word to us. I thought that was very rude. So as a result, I always ask for a small table, preferably a table for two. No problems anymore! Rita Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LSEA Posted June 17, 2010 #22 Share Posted June 17, 2010 I had an interesting experience on the Solstice one morning at the buffet. It was a day that all the excursions started really early so the place was mobbed. I found a table for 2 that was situated very close to another table for 2 as they all are. When I sat down the women at the other table shifted in her seat and turned her head toward the partition and there she stayed the entire time. She didn't even give me a chance to say hello or even smile. I kept looking at her (I'll admit just to irritate her) until DH sat down and then proceeded to have an enjoyable conversation with him. I wonder why people who are so anti social even bother to cruise - it must be miserable for them to have to associate with the rest of us. I don't think she was shy - after all even a shy person is likely to smile or nod his head. I certainly hope she had a table for two in the dining room! It is possible she is an adult living with Aspergers Syndrome or Autism. Our daughter has a similar reaction when she is nervous / overwhelmed, particularly in loud areas or when meeting new people. Of course it is possible too that the woman just had atrocious manners but this type of behavior rings a bell with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Massnatives Posted June 17, 2010 #23 Share Posted June 17, 2010 On our recent Solstice cruise, we requested a table for 2 - got it (by the window!) but enjoyed conversation with the young couple next to us often. I agree that people who don't want to engage in any conversation arechoosing the wrong vacation. Most times in the Oceanview Cafe, you HAD to sit at a table with other people already there. We always inquired if anyone else was joining them, and we always talked with them - most of the time, they would start the conversation. You can usually tell when someone isn't into talking while eating, so you back off. But it was a great way to meet people from all over the world while just having your morning eggs! We chose to have a table for 2 because we heard that the meal order wouldn't be placed until everyone was seated - that could take longer than we wanted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dutchess43 Posted June 17, 2010 #24 Share Posted June 17, 2010 Hi! On a Canada-New England cruise last fall on the Constellation as soon as we sat down the other couple asked what religion we were. When we told them Roman Catholic, the gentleman immediately tried to convert us to their "Born Again" Christian religion. And he was just vehement about it. It was most uncomfortable to say the least. We asked to be moved, got moved to the next table, and then had one of the enjoyable cruises of all time. We are all cruising together again this fall. And the biggest plus of all was we got our waiter from a previous cruise..Gede! Cheers, Carol Ann Even tho I am a Roman Catholic I would of said NONE! There are 2 things I keep out of conversations with people on vacation one is religion the other is politics this is not the time. When traveling with our friends I always request a table for 4 only, as we all see one another once a year we have a lot to catch up on & do not want to be rude to other passengers. Normally when traveling just with DH I request table for 2. We learned the hard way when we were seated with a family of 4 that spoke impeccable english after we introduced ourselves continuned to speak spanish amongst themselves for the entire 7 days. Oh by the way they were missionaries & made us feel very uncomfortable. At the time I did not know any better about requesting a table change, I've come along way since then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cage keeper Posted June 17, 2010 #25 Share Posted June 17, 2010 We were on the Solstice 5/16. Went to dinner the 1st night. We were at a table for 10. When we got to the table 2 couples were already seated and talking, we did not want to interupt their conversation, they were discussing where each couple was from etc. After 10-15 Minutes neither couple even acknowledged we had sat down right next to them so we asked for a new table and got a table for 2. This was our 29th cruise and never had anyone totally ingnore us when first sitting down at a table.Keith On our first cruise we had requested a large table and were seated at a table for 6. We were 3 and the other family of three was seated when we arrived. The woman proceded to inform us in a not so nice manner that the seats they were in would be their's for the duration of the cruise. They were not very friendly and it kind of turned us off. We have had the best table mates for the rest of our cruises. Although our last cruise we were the only two at a table for 10. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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