Help from teenagers please! Our 16 year old doesn't want to come on Legend cruise!

[Aknot]

you should probably find out why he doesn't want to go before forcing it. i'm 19, i never had this problem, but there could be a legitimate reason behind it. just...ask, before you drag him along.

 

Now im just playing a little here.....

 

What type of legitimate issue could he have? Fear of boats/ships the water? Ok got that. Possible.

 

What else?

 

He owes his bookie money and if he goes he will miss making a payment?

 

Shy around people? possible.

 

However the parent should have possbily been over all of this. He sounds as though he is just being a teenager.

 

However he needs to realize there are things that are still out of his control. Other times he may get a choice.

 

I say a lot of the above in JEST... however the parent should not really be coming to a forum asking for "help". Its not like he is on the cusp has a choice and cant decide....

 

He apparently does not want to go. So the parent needs to decide if they are going to make him go or let him have his way. Yes this is also based on "what if" there is a VALID reason.

[divingmedic]

Just tell him those 3 little words....

 

Chicks. In. Bikinis. ;)

I posted that first. Come on, would not be on the mind of most 16 year old guys? I would have been on my mind at that age.

[JerseyshoreBruce]

We are so excited about our first cruise on the Legend, 12/12/10 but have two teen boys , 15 and 16, the 15 is really excited too but the 16 says it's his worst nightmare and doesn't want to come.

Any families with teens who can write something to change his mind? PLEEEEEASE!

I have 3 boys including one thats 17 years old and he and my other boys would all give up Christmas to cruise if thats what it takes. They all have the best times of their lives on a cruise. They always make lots of friends....including lots of females so tell him its going to be great!

[TahoeBob]

We are so excited about our first cruise on the Legend, 12/12/10 but have two teen boys , 15 and 16, the 15 is really excited too but the 16 says it's his worst nightmare and doesn't want to come.

Any families with teens who can write something to change his mind? PLEEEEEASE!

All my kids are way past that age, but when one of them said they did not want to do something that was planned with the family, I said thats nice now get your lazy a$$ up you are going and that is the final word.

 

When ever I hear parents struggling with a dilemma like this I stop and wonder who is the parent and who is the child!

 

Or you could tell him that on our last legend cruise there were a few ladies sunbathing on the upper deck topless! that probably will do the trick!

[denred4]

We took a long weekend once without my oldest (18 at the time) she was supposed to be staying at home with ONE girlfriend. BIGGEST mistake ever. yup...party time at my house. if you do leave your son home, make sure it is far away from your house, with no way to get back there to throw a party!!! If I had that to make that decision again, it would be either go with us or stay with the grandparents. Only two options. If you know that you'll be miserable if he doesn't go, then just don't give him the option of staying behind. He'll have fun in spite of himself! My dad has a saying to live by:

If one person has to be miserable, make sure it's the other person!

[JerseyshoreBruce]

And take the cellphones away from them or you'll end up with a huge bill when you get home....trust me!;)

[porkey61]

We are so excited about our first cruise on the Legend, 12/12/10 but have two teen boys , 15 and 16, the 15 is really excited too but the 16 says it's his worst nightmare and doesn't want to come.

Any families with teens who can write something to change his mind? PLEEEEEASE!

tell him there is ice cream , hamburgers , hot dogs , taco night , acade room , ping pong tables , basketball court , minature golf course, a libary, a room to get board games , teen club for dancing , lots of games and contest , teen girls , karoke , desert bars , pool , compliminary deck of cards at persuers desk ,computers , this only on the ship lots more to do at what ever your distination is , most teens that go with us meet new freinds and tend hang out the rest of the cruise , he will be just fine ,

[Chihuahua-Mama]

My son was 15 when he went on the Legend, which was also his first cruise, and he loved it. Like others have said, once you get him on the ship, I think he'll be fine. I also agree about maybe letting him have some input on the excursions. My son tried the teen club (club O2, I think) the first night, but didn't love it. He's not really social with a lot of strangers. BUT, he had a blast! He actually enjoyed staying in the cabin at night, watching tv and ordering room service "just because he could." :) My husband was frustrated, because he thought that our son should be out making friends. (which our daughter excelled at, LOL.) But I told my husband, it's his vacation too, and as long as he's enjoying himself, so what?? During sea days he enjoyed the pool, and his very favorite thing was having steak for dinner EVERY NIGHT! He graduates next year, and wants to take a cruise for his graduation present. :)

 

Enjoy your cruise!!!

 

I am going on a cruise in the fall and taking my three teens, 15-16 and 17 at the time of travel, and my 17 yr old keeps saying she does not want to miss a week of school in her graduating year and she wont have any fun anyway.

 

I have to say, I was most impressed with you words here Michele, you really gave me food for thought, "its her vacation too" It will be easier for me to let go and let them do whatever it is they want to do after readying your post, to step back and not feel they need to Take In Everything! like mommy does lol

 

Thank-you

[CanWeGoYet?]

And take the cellphones away from them or you'll end up with a huge bill when you get home....trust me!;)

 

Sage advice!

 

My son went on his first cruise when he was 7 years old, by the next time he was 13 and he knew he was in for a blast. He had a soda card, knew where the 24 hour pizza station was, loved the kids club and all the friends he made - he would grace Mom with his presence at meal times and then come back to the cabin every night for curfew - but the rest of the time he was off doing his own thing. Is son 16 yr old afraid he will be tied to Mom & Dad's side the whole trip? Tell him pizza & soda card (if your son is like mine it will save you $$$) he'll have the time of his life after he gets on board.

[oncruisecontrol]

Really, every vacation I ever took as a kid was to a family reunion or dropped at my grandparents place for the summer for slave labor.:( When I was ten my grandfather told me I was going to go cut and bale hay. Got out there and was handed an "idiot stick" and was given a jug a water and a pb&j sandwich and was picked up for dinner. What a fun summer that was.

 

 

Well stated. Kids today have it so good that they scoff when their parents are nice enough and can afford to take them on a Caribbean vacation. To the OP: Give him 2 choices, 1) go on the cruise with the family or 2) go on the cruise with the family. That's what I would do if I were in your situation.

[makeup face]

Who is the adult here??? Why are you giving him the choice?? He'd go on a family vacation and be happy about it.....period:rolleyes::rolleyes:

[mssevie]

My 15 year old has tried this too. He is content to stay at home, not shower and never get off the xbox if given the opportunity. quote]

 

This makes me feel so much better! I thought my 15 y/o son was the only one who did this! LOL

[Angileyze1]

I don't have that problem as my 16 yr old son now resents me for not taking him. HOWEVER, I had that experience with Disney and I'll tell you what I did. My son is very understanding and I waited to catch him at a good time. I explained that a lot of things can happen in life. Some bad. You just NEVER know. Therefore, since he was getting a little older and closer to graduating, It COULD be for whatever reason our LAST big family trip together. I told him if something happened and for whatever reason we couldn't do a trip together in the future, wouldn't he regret not coming to spend time with us now? IT WORKED LIKE A CHARM.

[LemurCat]

Who is the adult here??? Why are you giving him the choice?? He'd go on a family vacation and be happy about it.....period:rolleyes::rolleyes:

 

Or what? Beat him until he has a good time? There are two sides to this story, the parents' side and kid's side. I'm sure the kid has a legitimate reason not to want to go with his parents -- I sure as hell did when I was 16 -- my mother is a freakin' horror show of embarrassing moments. So my folks let me stay home from their trip and I took care of their dogs. I'm sure the kid has a friend of family member he can stay with if they aren't capable of staying on their own and not trashing/burning down the house. You CANNOT force a teenager, especially one that age, to have a good time.

 

And if you DO leave the kid home, DO NOT take the cell phone. Turn on the international service and make sure your kid is secure. If you can't do that, then the kid goes.

[LemurCat]

I don't have that problem as my 16 yr old son now resents me for not taking him. HOWEVER, I had that experience with Disney and I'll tell you what I did. My son is very understanding and I waited to catch him at a good time. I explained that a lot of things can happen in life. Some bad. You just NEVER know. Therefore, since he was getting a little older and closer to graduating, It COULD be for whatever reason our LAST big family trip together. I told him if something happened and for whatever reason we couldn't do a trip together in the future, wouldn't he regret not coming to spend time with us now? IT WORKED LIKE A CHARM.

 

 

Ahh, yes. Guilt. My mother uses that one too. Kids become immune to it around the age of 21 so use it while you can.

[BND]

Until our boys were 18 they had no say in where we went on a family vacation. Fortunately we mainly went to the beach and they loved that, but that said, a 16 year old is still a minor and mom and dad make the decisions for the family. It was understood in our family that until you were 18, you went on family vacations, period. They are now 24 and 26 and would probably say the same thing I just did.

[JerseyshoreBruce]

Until our boys were 18 they had no say in where we went on a family vacation. Fortunately we mainly went to the beach and they loved that, but that said, a 16 year old is still a minor and mom and dad make the decisions for the family. It was understood in our family that until you were 18, you went on family vacations, period. They are now 24 and 26 and would probably say the same thing I just did.

:)And i would bet if you paid for them to go on a cruise now they would still go....My 22 year old is a freeloader and would still go....and if he wants a friend to go he can pay for that!

[goldenk]

Tough thing to happen. I'd love to have the entire family with me. I'm sure he'd really love it. My daughter still talks of the stingrays in Grand Cayman from last year.

[makeup face]

Or what? Beat him until he has a good time? There are two sides to this story, the parents' side and kid's side. I'm sure the kid has a legitimate reason not to want to go with his parents -- I sure as hell did when I was 16 -- my mother is a freakin' horror show of embarrassing moments. So my folks let me stay home from their trip and I took care of their dogs. I'm sure the kid has a friend of family member he can stay with if they aren't capable of staying on their own and not trashing/burning down the house. You CANNOT force a teenager, especially one that age, to have a good time.

 

And if you DO leave the kid home, DO NOT take the cell phone. Turn on the international service and make sure your kid is secure. If you can't do that, then the kid goes.

 

Don't put words in to my post that aren't mine. Just because you had family issues...does not mean every family does. I don't know how you raised your children or even if you have any. But there are some issues my sons did not have a choice. I simply said this was how it was gonna be with no questions. Having a good time once we were on vacation would be totally up to them. Since they are healthy young men of 36 and 27.....seems like I make the right choices for them as children.

[makeup face]

Until our boys were 18 they had no say in where we went on a family vacation. Fortunately we mainly went to the beach and they loved that, but that said, a 16 year old is still a minor and mom and dad make the decisions for the family. It was understood in our family that until you were 18, you went on family vacations, period. They are now 24 and 26 and would probably say the same thing I just did.

 

ITA.....that's how it is suppose to me;);)

[waldocruiser1]

Ok, now that all the "make him go"'s are over,

 

Make him go, but do it with love,

 

as it was said a few times, why does he not want to go, fear? girl friend? what is the problem (does not really matter, he is going, but what does he think)?

 

Now, you sit down with him and go through the excursions, and let him pick what the family is going to do on one stop, if he will not sit down with you, print off the list for one Island, or all of them (it is just paper and ink) and get him involved, keep after him to see what he wants to do. He will feel better if part of the trip is his idea.

 

Also you can pull us the capers (new name?) and let him see what there is to do on sea days.

[BND]

:)And i would bet if you paid for them to go on a cruise now they would still go....My 22 year old is a freeloader and would still go....and if he wants a friend to go he can pay for that!

 

Actually, the 26 year old has no interest in cruising and the 24 year old has been busy with school and work. They are both fiercely financially independent but we have talked about taking a long weekend together at the beach this year. Our 26 year old owns his own home and our 24 year old is currently looking with friends to move from the apt they've been in into a townhome. I just wish my parents would offer to take me on vacation now lol. But my idea of vacation isn't driving 1200 miles to visit family.:D

[Aknot]

Or what? Beat him until he has a good time? There are two sides to this story, the parents' side and kid's side. I'm sure the kid has a legitimate reason not to want to go with his parents -- I sure as hell did when I was 16 -- my mother is a freakin' horror show of embarrassing moments. So my folks let me stay home from their trip and I took care of their dogs. I'm sure the kid has a friend of family member he can stay with if they aren't capable of staying on their own and not trashing/burning down the house. You CANNOT force a teenager, especially one that age, to have a good time.

 

And if you DO leave the kid home, DO NOT take the cell phone. Turn on the international service and make sure your kid is secure. If you can't do that, then the kid goes.

 

No one said "make' him have a good time. Make him go. Sure. How he spends his time is a different thing.

 

One has to make sure one knows who is in charge. And the parent should be within reason.

 

you know "when I was a kid".... etc... STILL works regardless of the "times".

[Scootch]

Sure, tell them this:

 

It's either you go with us or you go and stay with your Aunt/Grandma/Grandpa/Uncle (choose which would be the absolute choice for them). And, make them stay at the other house too, and away from their friends.

 

We went through the same ordeal with ours!

 

I agree. This is your family vacation and he doesn't have a choice. I think it is just the teenager thing....has he given any good reason why he doesn't want to go? Do you think he has fears that he hasn't disclosed?

 

I bet he will love it!! We have a 17 yr old an this will be his 4th cruise....he loves it! He is going to have more fun this year because we are taking someone for him.

 

Good luck.

[misguidedangel]

Oh my, if my parents, at 16 told me that they were paying for my brother and I to go for a vacation I would have started my packing when they told me!! They never did and all we got was RV trips from hell where me and any other female was saddled with helping to cool, clean, dishes, and garbage.

 

My parents and brother would go spring break skiiing and for three years in a row flew to the destination. I stayed home becuase I didn't like to ski and my mom had one of my older cousins or grandmother stay while they were away. The same thing happened when at 14 my parents went to Eruope for three weeks (50% of the accommodations were covered cuz the stayed at my aunt/uncles home in Holland)--granny came to stay with us for three weeks.

 

I suggest you tell your son that he can stay at home, but he will have a grandparent or a older aunt/uncle staying with him while you, your husband, and his younger brother are on a cruise ship somewhere warm having the time of their lives....Oh, and remind him of all the small tasks that he will have to do while you are away and I can guarantee he will change his mind......

 

He will come around and say yes to going...