Help from teenagers please! Our 16 year old doesn't want to come on Legend cruise!

[vfangue]

Hi,

I wish we were cruising at the same time because I have two teenage girls ages 15 and 16. The oldest is very reluctant about the cruise. She thinks Club O2 is lame (we've cruised twice with the girls before).

 

What I have found works is to let them set their own pace. I make sure that they know what's going on that day. They are only asked to join us for formal dining on dressy night. I don't force them to the shows at night either.

 

We bring walkie talkies on the boat to keep in touch. Also, last cruise, she met a couple of girls and they hung out in the room watching movies and ordering room service. (She was 13 at the time so I was OK with that). I was good at dropping in to check up on them.

 

Hope this helps.

 

Veronica

Carnival Conquest 8/1/10

[gone_cruisin]

I have actually heard the words "I hate people!" come out of my anti-social 15 year old boy. And it's the truth. His idea of socializing is through the mic on an xbox. Thus, many handheld devices will be brought along so he doesn't have to be around people. :rolleyes:

 

My 15 year old girl is not a huge social butterfly, but she was wanting to get into the O2 club last year to check it out. However, Carnival said she was too young and just a few days shy of 15. I suspect she'll be checking it out this time around.

[LemurCat]

Don't put words in to my post that aren't mine.

I'm not. You said he'll have a good time, period. I'm just curious as to how you'd ensure that would happen.

Just because you had family issues...does not mean every family does.

Who said I had family issues? From someone who doesn't want words put in their mouth, you're real quick to do the same.

I don't know how you raised your children or even if you have any. But there are some issues my sons did not have a choice. I simply said this was how it was gonna be with no questions. Having a good time once we were on vacation would be totally up to them.

So there was no enforced gaity? No happiness or the beatings would continue? Good to know.

Since they are healthy young men of 36 and 27.....seems like I make the right choices for them as children.

 

Seems my parents made the right choice for me, as I'm in my thirties and not a sociopath and have even come to terms with my mother's embarrassing tendencies. And guess what? A whole week of fending for myself was actually a good experience -- a little independence is actually good for some kids.

[ourfamilylovescruising]

I am not sure how many of you are in a cabin, but our oldest son almost always brings a friend you would be surprised at how many other partents will pay to have there child go with a friend it works best for us he has a great time. we are close to most of his friends parents so I am sure that helps too, but if he is an outgoing kid he will be fine our son is and has always made a friend. good luck

[bythehex]

Thanks for all your comments in reply to my post, most helpful some not!!

Just to clarify, although I said he didn't WANT to come and wants to stay at home, he WILL be coming! I just wanted some positive comments from other teens to help persuade him it will be fun.

It's just sad that we give our kids such great opportunities these day and they don't appreciate things.

I know once he gets there he will love it and will party the whole week. And so will I !!!!

PS any other teens going? Legend 12 December.

 

I'm sure that other people have suggested this already, but go to the roll calls forum on Cruise Critic to find other people on the same cruise as you. Chances are at least one person will also be traveling with a teen, maybe one who has cruised before, and they can provide those comments you're looking for.

 

Good luck and enjoy your cruise.

 

- Sharon -

[Seafor2]

Have you gone to the roll call board? You wull be able to find people there that will be on your cruise and have teens going, too. Several years ago when we went with my sil and bil they were taking their sons. My sil got on the board and one of my nephews actually "met" someone that he could look for on the ship. They hung around together all week.

[karenh1127]

My teen son LOVES cruising! Is it for the ship? The itinerary? The quality time with family? NO! It's the pizza station. No joke.:rolleyes:

 

We have been on 5 cruises and my 13 year old son will tell you his favorite thing is the food, hands down!;)

[bcs819]

we have started a Facebook group for our roll call, maybe you could do that, and then any kids traveling can be "friends' before hand. We ONLY cruise when school is in session and there are still several hundred kids on board.

[pkrchkr]

on our 1sst family cruise my 11 and then 18 yo sons loved everyminute of it.. trying all the different foods, meeting people from all over the wrold. the 18 yo took in the scenery;) while the 13 went to Camp Carnival programs. As for teens not being on board when you are going bah humbug... we are taking our 13 yo son out of school for this one and my now 19 soldier son and my 23 son ( who has never been out of Canada). I think the Fb thing is great idea since most a the younger generation are on there anyway...How old is your son( if have not told us already)I can see if my now 13 yo will use my account and share some info for you to pass onalg to your child...

Oh almsot forgot My PV got my kids and my neices and nephews all excited about our last family reunion by sending me a power point presentation of the Pride...I forwarded it to the family and everyone got excited, maybe you could contact your PVP and ask for one.. or go to Utube and look for vidoes on there...Wea re going on another reunion in Feb 2011 on the Glory and everyone is over the top excited about this..16 family members in one palce for the 1st time ever..woowhooo

[jjtimes6]

We took our kids (13, 16, 17) on their first cruise this past April. It was actually the second cruise for the 17 year old, as she had done a cruise to Alaska with her grandparents previously. She was not super excited to go, as the Alaskan cruise was full of (her words) newly weds and nearly deads, with only about 30 kids her age. It was NOT a Carnival cruise. The 16 year old boy did not want to go at all, due to girlfriend. Break up, and he wanted to cruise!

 

My best advice is to make them go to the orientation. They will meet tons of kids, and will find several that they want to hang out with all cruise. The 13 year old girl missed her orientation (very stubborn, would not let me help her find the room) and spent the first day (at sea) in her cabin reading a book. I was finally able to drag her out. She met a girl who immediately introduced her to a bunch of others, and that was pretty much the last we saw of her. The other two went to their orientation. DD did not want to go in, DS forced her to. There were 900 kids aged 15-17 on board.

 

We really only saw them for dinner each night, and for excursions! They had a blast, and we are booked for next March on the next one. When asked if they wanted to cruise again (while still on board) the answer was a definitive "YES!"

[WOWGirl]

We took our two sons ages 13 and 15 on a cruise to Cozumel/Progresso Mexico. Our 15 year old didnt even want to go to Progresso cause all his friends he met at Circle C were staying on the ship. We made him go anyways to Progresso with us.

 

They ended up making friends, and we didnt see them the whole cruise on days at sea.

 

Make him go, and you will prove him wrong. He will have fun. They set the activities up so they will meet teenagers their own age. Our 15 yr old even met a girl from Houston that he started dating. Never know!:D

[laumicmah]

I agree with the posters that said to give him 2 choices, either go on the cruise or go stay with Grandma (or another responsible family member). I think OP's DS just wants to stay home so he can do what he wants or may be shy and worried about the social aspects of a cruise. My DS is 13 and is happy to go on our cruise in August and we gave all our kids (also 2DDs that are 11) the choice of cruise or beach for August of 2011 and they all picked cruise. We are bringing my son's friend this year, so he'll have someone to have fun with on the cruise. I suspect, however, that someday soon he will tell us that he doesn't want to go on our family vacation. He's also an Xbox Live junkie and won't go out to dinner with us anymore (although my DH will sometimes make him and when he does we go where DS can get sushi that he loves). So, when he starts saying 'no thanks' to family vacations, I will say "ok but you're staying with grandma" and he will probably chang his mind. I remember being left home alone at 18 or 19 and I had one heck of a party and some things got damaged. My parents were NOT happy. I won't make the same mistake with my teens.

[heymonkey89]

My brother didn't love cruising or vacations much when he was a teen. I was always so insanley excited and he'd rather just stay home, play video games, hang with his friends and watch all the sporting events. Once he got on vacation and started having fun he was fine. Now he realized how spoiled of an attitude it was and is grateful for all the fun vacations our parents always gave us.

[bluehenfan]

I am not sure how many of you are in a cabin, but our oldest son almost always brings a friend you would be surprised at how many other partents will pay to have there child go with a friend it works best for us he has a great time. we are close to most of his friends parents so I am sure that helps too, but if he is an outgoing kid he will be fine our son is and has always made a friend. good luck

 

My teenaged DGrD loves to cruise with her mom and me . As a graduation gift last year, I let her invite a long time friend on a cruise. Big mistake for us. Friend was more outgoing and wanted to be on the go constantly. Ended up with each doing their own thing. I spent more than one early a.m. tracking down the friend long after my gr. dtr. was in bed asleep. That was a year ago and I think they've only spoken once or twice since. They'd been friends since they were babies. May work for some, but not for all.

[smd1234]

My 15 year old has tried this too. He is content to stay at home, not shower and never get off the xbox if given the opportunity.

 

He pouts in his room the first night, but after that he gets over it.

 

It must be a boy thing. My daughter loves cruising! I think it has something to do with disrupting their "pattern" and laziness.

 

This sounds exactly like my son. Normally I can't pry him away from the computer or xbox. I took him on a cruise in March. Most of the time he sat around like a bump on a log with his arms crossed. I couldn't get him to socialize at all. Like another poster said, he liked hanging in the cabin and ordering room service. I thought he was bored stiff, but as soon as we got home he started looking for longer cruises.

 

We're going again in October. This time I made him promise to ride the water slide AND play putt putt golf with his old mom.

 

I read another post that said that the dining room staff helped thier son come out of his shell...

 

Good luck with the teen and happy sailing!

[Baxter]

We sailed in the Dec 12 timeframe a few years back. There were 12 "kids" on board, and I believe 10 of them were under 7. it's a really tough time of year...

[bythehex]

We are so excited about our first cruise on the Legend, 12/12/10 but have two teen boys , 15 and 16, the 15 is really excited too but the 16 says it's his worst nightmare and doesn't want to come.

Any families with teens who can write something to change his mind? PLEEEEEASE!

 

As a refresher, see that the OP said he doesn't want to go, and asked for families with teens who can write something to change his mind.

 

She didn't say he isn't going - as a matter of fact, on a different thread she started she said he IS going. She just wanted families with teens to suggest things that would change his mind.

 

I thought maybe folks needed a to be reminded as to what the original question was, since things seem to have gone off on quite a tangent!

[shrews1]

Bythehex..... Yes! Thanks that is exactly what I said. Sorry I have posted my response on a different board, my mistake.

Thanks for everyone's advice, yes he is coming whether he likes it or not. The cruise is the first part of an almost 3 week vacation in Florida and we are flying from England. He is no way staying behind! We have been going to Florida every Xmas for several years now and he loves it. We thought a week's cruise would make a nice change. So just a teenager finding another way to be a pain in the butt I think.

[chickie_mite]

Having raised 4 sons (who are now 28, 26, 24, 22), I will offer this:

 

A wise general always knows what hill she wants to die on. Is this a hill you want to die on?

 

Pick your battles. You and you alone know what battles are the most important to your family.

[maurick]

We are so excited about our first cruise on the Legend, 12/12/10 but have two teen boys , 15 and 16, the 15 is really excited too but the 16 says it's his worst nightmare and doesn't want to come.

Any families with teens who can write something to change his mind? PLEEEEEASE!

 

Who is the adult here? You are! What you say goes!

[pe4all]

Been there, still there! DD almost 19 hit a "stage" at 16 (and it hasn't ended:D) where she was afraid she would be missing a lot of social activities while we were away. She was told by all her friends that she was "crazy" to not want to go on vacation - but the pressure of possibly missing a party, trip to mall, etc., was severe. She was/is a social animal, and always had a great time meeting others on a cruise. It has gotten harder and harder to get her to travel with us - but while she was in high school the rule was that we travel as a family. We had little enough family time together, with sports, clubs, etc. that both my kids were running to. Now that dd is in college, the rule is she still must "go" with us at Christmas. The rule was, and still is "if you are living with us, you travel with us." And as we are paying for her college tuition, she must still "give" us one vacation a year together. As hard as it was to hear the whining, moaning and groaning, she still had a fantastic time each time we went away. I think part of the "growing up" process for teens is to rebel - they must also learn to pick their battles. In your situation, there is no way in heck I would leave your ds16 for 3 weeks!

[bratgrr1]

My 15 year old has tried this too. He is content to stay at home, not shower and never get off the xbox if given the opportunity. quote]

 

This makes me feel so much better! I thought my 15 y/o son was the only one who did this! LOL

Ummm, no. My 16 year old son is the same way. Except we've made showers MANDATORY at least once every 48 hours. (How dirty can he get sitting in his room playing video games, right?)

 

BUT he does love cruising! Even went on a cruise without us, with a friend's family. He wishes he was going on our cruise in 26 days!

[Ilovecruising31]

I am a 15 year old girl and i have been on 8 cruises, how could he not want to go?! Just tell him there is an arcade ( i have been on legend it's a great ship!) there is a really fun waterslide there are pools, hot tubs, and girls! haha

[DaDivaMom]

Honestly...leave him at home if he's going to be miserable. Our Heathens have traveled all over the world with us and on several cruises as well. This year the 17 year old has decided to not go. He'll be camping out with the grandparental units for the week.

 

It's not for everyone....

[omalley16]

I am a 14 year old girl, and am so excited for cruising! If I were to try and convince my brother (11 but he had a bad experience on our last cruise) to go with us, this is what I would tell him:

1. 24/7 pizza, ice cream, etc.

2. Girls

3. Meeting people

4. Its a get away (If he has school then...)

5. Beach

6. Its a family vacation, spend some time with the family

7. If you don't go, you will need to stay with (insert least favorable family member's name with the house farthest away from his friends) and you won't be able to have the computer or your cell phone.

(The last one always works)

Happy sailing!