How do you handle 'friends of guests' that want to cruise too?

[DramaticCanadian]

Hey everyone

 

We just recently decided we would have our wedding on a cruise ship - The Carnival Dream to be exact - and everyone is really excited about it. I knew that I had to steel myself to be ready that not everyone that we would want to be there, could financially be there.

 

So far we've got like 30 people signed up including us! This is pleasantly surprising and we're so super excited about it, and our guests are too. This is still just over a year away so we all have time to save, which is good.

 

My question is, how do you handle the friends of your guests... some of our friends are telling their family and friends and some of those people want to come on the trip as well. Now I don't have a problem with that.. I mean I don't own the ship.. but how do you kind of politely tell people um.. we're not paying for your friend and his girlfriend who we don't even know to come to the reception.. and they're not getting an OOT bag.. and um.. if they book with our group, wouldn't they be part of the ceremony? :confused: Like our group is making travel plans to be there the night before, etc and some of these people I wouldn't really want to be at the ceremony? And I'm certainly not going to pay extra per head for them to attend the reception.

 

Plus, there might be other implications too... for example, my maid of honor's husband has a good friend and this friend and his girlfriend want to come with their family. I don't own the boat.. but this friend of his was involved in an affair with one of my bridesmaids in the past.. she and the girlfriend had a pretty wild catfight actually, lol.. this was many many years ago and I hope there won't be any drama... but this is one of the kinds of situations i'm dealing with. I know family and friends are excited, and they are talking with their friends and family members, but how do I keep them seperate? Am I going to have to make invitations to the reception or something? Will Carnival keep track of the number of guests and then hit me with the bill later??

 

Anybody else had this problem? Should I ask these people to make seperate travel plans? I'm just assuming they would want to travel with friends too.. and they might end up 'hitchhiking' on my big day, and just figuring they can get on the boat early if they are part of the wedding party and might as well attend the wedding and reception too... :(

[swalton85]

i would tell your guests you have a limit to how many people can attend your wedding. tell them you don't care if these people come on the cruise, but they would remain separate from the whole wedding ceremony and reception. say you just want close friends and family at your wedding. it's your wedding and you can tell people whatever you want! if they don't like it then they don't have to come. i definitely wouldn't pay an extra $30 a head for people i didn't even know!

[Lipz]

You have to tell your guest what the limits are....

They can come and should book through your group booking (if you are doing it this way). Their guest however, need to book on their own and will not be a part of your group booking.

They (your guest) will get priority booking and need to be at the terminal with the wedding party. Their guest will not get priority booking and can check in at their leisure.

They (your guest) will come to the ceremony and reception and partake in all festivities planned around the wedding. Their guest will have a few hours to do things on their own, ie: lunch, explore the ship etc...

Lastly, they (your guest) will receive all perks (ie:favors, free meet-n-mingle etc..) that come with your wedding booking. While their guest will not be able to join unless there are activities planned that are of no cost to you (ex: maybe you'll will be meeting at a lounge that night, or going to one of the shows together etc...)

You can tell your guest that although you would love for everyone to enjoy their vacation the way they woudl like, the wedding itself will only include close family and friends that you've invited. You can also mention that you can only have a certain amount of guest per the wedding package you have already purchased which does not include guest of guest since.

Be clear, and be consistant. If not, you may have trouble and a large bill in the end!

We did allow guest to bring guest if they were cruising, but our wedding is very small and so the money wasn't a problem. So far we only have 2 guest of guest.

[dcdiva]

We had a couple of friends of friends cruise with us. So I though it might be helpful to share my experience. We didn't really know them, so we just didn't invite them to the ceremony and reception and no one had any problem with it.

 

Here's how we handled it. We sent a special invitation for the wedding/reception itself -- with details of time and date. But didn't include the friends of friends in that. We also did a welcome newsletter, which we did share with them. It included some information about an informal meet up we did each night in a different bar or lounge. And they did join us for a couple of those. But they weren't private events and we weren't footing the bill. We didn't send them OOT bags. They didn't expect one. We gave them the option of sitting with us at dinner, but they actually prefered to sit elsewhere.

 

I don't think your "group" for booking purposes and the wedding guest list have to be the same. But you should double check with Carnival. It wasn't for us, but were on another cruise line. My advice it is to just be striaghtforward and let folks know that their friends are welcome to come on the cruise, but the wedding itself is only for invited guests.

 

If you have any specific questions about how we handled things, I am happy to help.

[soon2bmrsspd]

We had friends of our guest join our cruise, and they DID book under our group booking, and did NOT attend our wedding. Your wedding and your group booking are NOT one in the same. You might as well receive the perks for as many people as you can, so I certainly recommend you have them book under your group, this is only going to get you that much closer to a free room for your self. In the end YOU make and submit YOUR WEDDING GUEST LIST, and you can add whom ever you want to this list, whether they are a part of your group booking or not. Now if they do book under your group booking, they will be a part of the amenity points, and if you choose the cocktail reception, they will be invited, but this is not party of your wedding, or your weding reception, so maybe you would like them to be able to enjoy this complimentary event simply for joining your group. Same as the wine and strawberries, etc, everyone that is under your group booking number will receive these perks.

[Artemis908]

It's one thing if your guests are inviting lots of friends and they are booking separate rooms, pretty much just using your group rate and everything. But if someone wants to come to the wedding and on the cruise, but wants to bring someone with them for company or so they can afford it, I'd let them bring someone. I did the same thing with kids. No kids were invited to my wedding unless they were going on the cruise with their parents. My mom is cruising with her friend who I have never even met... and my mom insisted on me inviting her to the wedding... but my mom is really demanding...

[dcdiva]

It's one thing if your guests are inviting lots of friends and they are booking separate rooms, pretty much just using your group rate and everything. But if someone wants to come to the wedding and on the cruise, but wants to bring someone with them for company or so they can afford it, I'd let them bring someone. I did the same thing with kids. No kids were invited to my wedding unless they were going on the cruise with their parents. My mom is cruising with her friend who I have never even met... and my mom insisted on me inviting her to the wedding... but my mom is really demanding...

 

You make a good distinction here. If someone is bring someone to share their cabin and expenses -- like the situation with you Mom -- that's one thing. Sort of like using "& guest" on invites. So that seems reasonable.

On the other hand, inviting another couple, or a group of folks you don't

know to come along on the cruise is another matter all together. In that situation, having them come on the cruise but not to the wedding or reception seems more in order.

[LilBlackDress]

What I didn't see really strongly pointed out in the other posts is the larger the "group" booking the more perks you get from the cruise lines. I would have them book with the group and take advantage of their numbers.

 

The group bookings are separate from the wedding booking, at least it was for us. They are two different departments.

 

As for what to say to everyone, especially those who want to travel with friends...Keep it simple and sweet. I am so excited you will be able to attend my wedding and have the enjoyment of having your friends on the cruise to vacation with. I wish I could have everyone attend the wedding but the cruise line does limit our guest count or the chapel only holds so many people, or blunt and honest it costs a small fortune per head or as I do like what I know of so and so I don't feel close enough for them to attend my wedding but would love to spend more time with them on the cruise.

[Lipz]

What I didn't see really strongly pointed out in the other posts is the larger the "group" booking the more perks you get from the cruise lines. I would have them book with the group and take advantage of their numbers.

 

The group bookings are separate from the wedding booking, at least it was for us. They are two different departments.

 

As for what to say to everyone, especially those who want to travel with friends...Keep it simple and sweet. I am so excited you will be able to attend my wedding and have the enjoyment of having your friends on the cruise to vacation with. I wish I could have everyone attend the wedding but the cruise line does limit our guest count or the chapel only holds so many people, or blunt and honest it costs a small fortune per head or as I do like what I know of so and so I don't feel close enough for them to attend my wedding but would love to spend more time with them on the cruise.

 

 

This is the best advice thus far.

We allowed guest to bring a guest because one it's their vacation as well and two, expecting someone to travel alone and pay a cabin & a 1/2 rate is a lot to ask. Our numbers are low so we can afford to have their guest at a wedding. However, if we had a high guest list then we would kindly let our guest know that although their guest can cruise, we would not be able to accommodate them for the wedding.

Since the wedding cruise booking and cruise group booking are two different entities you can allow guest to bring guest, you just have to be ready to let them know why they can not however attend your wedding.

Hope it all works out for you guys.

[smiley01]

When do most of your guests book? We are getting married March 2012 and sent out save the dates and we only have 30 days to hold the rooms and only a few booked and only 1 week left.

[leslieart]

We are wording our save the date invites so that guests are invited to the wedding and cruise or just the cruise. Our TA is asking when they book whether they will be attending the ceremony or just cruising. You could even give your TA a list of ceremony guests. Also, you have to provide the ship with a guest list for the ceremony for priority boarding. Those not on the list will not be allowed to board in time for the ceremony. At least that is how I understand it. Maybe it's different with different cruise lines. We're book with Royal.

[Lipz]

We are wording our save the date invites so that guests are invited to the wedding and cruise or just the cruise. Our TA is asking when they book whether they will be attending the ceremony or just cruising. You could even give your TA a list of ceremony guests. Also, you have to provide the ship with a guest list for the ceremony for priority boarding. Those not on the list will not be allowed to board in time for the ceremony. At least that is how I understand it. Maybe it's different with different cruise lines. We're book with Royal.

 

 

We're on NCL and have to submit not only the guest legal names, but their birthdates and state id or passport #. This is for non sailing guest. For sailing guest we just have to submit their names and stateroom numbers.

Our TA did not play any role with our non sailing guest. Only our sailing guest because they booked through the same TA.