Few questions from DCL cruising family

[funfamilyof6]

It sounds like you made a wise choice. I want to emphasize the point that problem people will be a problem for this type of situation almost all of the time, no matter how nice they are otherwise. Far too often I see people who assume that this time will be different for any number of reasons. OTOH, I also see a lot of issues that are caused by THE PLANNER. Often others feel controlled, manipulated, etc.

 

We had 40 people in Nashville the week before Xmas including 39 in a 2 BR for a "Christmas meal" with five 3 y/o's. One of the best vacations we've had. We enjoy getting together with family. We get the accommodations and invite people until we're full. With seven 2 BR units, if you didn't get invited, you weren't on the A list. Just our way of giving back to the family. However, I put a lot of thought and effort into avoiding controlling other people and avoiding subliminal messages.

 

I wish you were my brother in law! :)

 

I don't have a problem with anybody's plans as long as they don't mind if I can do some plans of my own.

 

In our family, it is my brother in law's way or no way at all. He (THE PLANNER) actually labels his plans by a certain color..."purple plan" or "red plan" and gives it to people (mostly my mother in law who is his double) who are brave enough to go along. This does not work well with my family. I'm amazed that my husband is from the same family, if they didn't look so much alike I would think they were switched at birth! :eek:

 

I don't need or want a plan that tells me when I have to go to the bathroom, do laundry or take a nap. He won't let anything affect his plan and I mean anything! :rolleyes:

 

We feel bad because we would love to spend more time with my children's cousins, but we all took a vote in my family and for the safety of my brother in law, don't think it would be wise to do a week vacation with him. He drives his own family crazy!

[DeanD]

I wish you were my brother in law! :)

 

I don't have a problem with anybody's plans as long as they don't mind if I can do some plans of my own.

 

In our family, it is my brother in law's way or no way at all. He (THE PLANNER) actually labels his plans by a certain color..."purple plan" or "red plan" and gives it to people (mostly my mother in law who is his double) who are brave enough to go along. This does not work well with my family. I'm amazed that my husband is from the same family, if they didn't look so much alike I would think they were switched at birth! :eek:

 

I don't need or want a plan that tells me when I have to go to the bathroom, do laundry or take a nap. He won't let anything affect his plan and I mean anything! :rolleyes:

 

We feel bad because we would love to spend more time with my children's cousins, but we all took a vote in my family and for the safety of my brother in law, don't think it would be wise to do a week vacation with him. He drives his own family crazy!

Don't get me wrong, I am a planner, esp for places I don't go often or don't know well. However, I try not to let it get in the way of fun or to run the show too much. I've learned that planning gives you options and reduces the down time and stress trying to figure things out during vacation, but I try not to let it get in the way. It also reduces the risk of finding out thing late or after you return that you wished you'd known/done. Then for larger family trips, I just shut it down and we hang out letting others do as much or little as they want. We'll bring all of the little things we might need enough for the group often times but my only requirement in providing the accommodations is a family meal, usually out at an appropriate restaurant. I try desperately NOT to control other's vacation otherwise. Plus, we have families with all different resources so I don't want to put others in a situation where they're uncomfortable or "forced" to spend money they can't. I figure asking them to get there and for 1 meal out plus covering their direct expenses is more than reasonable.

 

We're also Disney Vacation Club members and go at last once or twice a year to WDW. If you don't plan for meals at WDW, you'll have precious few options.

[funfamilyof6]

Don't get me wrong, I am a planner, esp for places I don't go often or don't know well. However, I try not to let it get in the way of fun or to run the show too much. I've learned that planning gives you options and reduces the down time and stress trying to figure things out during vacation, but I try not to let it get in the way. It also reduces the risk of finding out thing late or after you return that you wished you'd known/done. Then for larger family trips, I just shut it down and we hang out letting others do as much or little as they want. We'll bring all of the little things we might need enough for the group often times but my only requirement in providing the accommodations is a family meal, usually out at an appropriate restaurant. I try desperately NOT to control other's vacation otherwise. Plus, we have families with all different resources so I don't want to put others in a situation where they're uncomfortable or "forced" to spend money they can't. I figure asking them to get there and for 1 meal out plus covering their direct expenses is more than reasonable.

 

We're also Disney Vacation Club members and go at last once or twice a year to WDW. If you don't plan for meals at WDW, you'll have precious few options.

 

I hope you didn't misunderstand me. I see nothing wrong by what you do, I was referring to my brother in law. You sound like the perfect person I would want to take a vacation with and of course some sort of plans are usually necessary. I have nothing againt normal planners just my brother in law.:)

 

With 4 kids, certainly we make general plans on what to do. But to us, having to put bathroom times in your "red plan" is a little too much for us. :eek:

 

Let me tell you an incident that really happened to us with my brother in law. We had all made plans to go to Lake George together. By luck, we had left around the same time for a 2 1/2 hour drive. On the way, my little on got sick and started vomiting in the car so we had to pull over on a major road. When this was going on, my brother in law saw us and drove right past us. Of course I was very upset for them not stopping or even calling us on our cell phone to see if something was wrong. When we asked my mother in law later why they didn't call/stop she said that my brother and sister in law didn't have time because they had to make their lunch time at a mall on the way. They saw nothing wrong in what they did. Maybe I am too sensitive, maybe I was expecting too much, but my husband was as upset as me and we haven't planned many vacations since. :rolleyes:

 

We are also Disney lovers...we drove 4 times back and forth from NY one year just to get good use out of our year passes. The kids were little then, now we have to factor school in. We love Disney as much as we love our cruises! :)

[DeanD]

I hope you didn't misunderstand me. I see nothing wrong by what you do, I was referring to my brother in law. You sound like the perfect person I would want to take a vacation with and of course some sort of plans are usually necessary. I have nothing againt normal planners just my brother in law.:)

 

With 4 kids, certainly we make general plans on what to do. But to us, having to put bathroom times in your "red plan" is a little too much for us. :eek:

 

Let me tell you an incident that really happened to us with my brother in law. We had all made plans to go to Lake George together. By luck, we had left around the same time for a 2 1/2 hour drive. On the way, my little on got sick and started vomiting in the car so we had to pull over on a major road. When this was going on, my brother in law saw us and drove right past us. Of course I was very upset for them not stopping or even calling us on our cell phone to see if something was wrong. When we asked my mother in law later why they didn't call/stop she said that my brother and sister in law didn't have time because they had to make their lunch time at a mall on the way. They saw nothing wrong in what they did. Maybe I am too sensitive, maybe I was expecting too much, but my husband was as upset as me and we haven't planned many vacations since. :rolleyes:

 

We are also Disney lovers...we drove 4 times back and forth from NY one year just to get good use out of our year passes. The kids were little then, now we have to factor school in. We love Disney as much as we love our cruises! :)

No problem, I think your previous note was very appropriate and self explanatory. I took it as very positive. I simply added that I am by nature, a planner, so I have to consciously think of any ramifications of my actions. Fortunately I'm also very conscious of the hidden and subliminal messages that can be expressed though I'm not sure that I'm good at controlling them at all times.

 

As I was reading your note about your BIL trucking on, I had 2 flashbacks. One, that if I'd done something like that, my dad would have come out of his grave after me as I was taught otherwise. The other, a disagreement I had with my son at HH 1.5 years ago when I suggested that the car he was in (all teens with him the oldest though not driving) should have waited on the rest of the group "just in case something happened".

[funfamilyof6]

No problem, I think your previous note was very appropriate and self explanatory. I took it as very positive. I simply added that I am by nature, a planner, so I have to consciously think of any ramifications of my actions. Fortunately I'm also very conscious of the hidden and subliminal messages that can be expressed though I'm not sure that I'm good at controlling them at all times.

 

As I was reading your note about your BIL trucking on, I had 2 flashbacks. One, that if I'd done something like that, my dad would have come out of his grave after me as I was taught otherwise. The other, a disagreement I had with my son at HH 1.5 years ago when I suggested that the car he was in (all teens with him the oldest though not driving) should have waited on the rest of the group "just in case something happened".

 

You gave me a good laugh....the funny part of the story was that both of my brother in law's parents (who were also my husband's parents) were in the car with him! My husband is usually pretty understanding and patient, but that day he lost it, having his daughter's vomit all over him didn't help matters much. :eek:

[DeanD]

You gave me a good laugh....the funny part of the story was that both of my brother in law's parents (who were also my husband's parents) were in the car with him! My husband is usually pretty understanding and patient, but that day he lost it, having his daughter's vomit all over him didn't help matters much. :eek:

He should have. Sorry you had to go through that.

[woody73]

 

We are about to go on our 2nd Disney cruise next month and love love love Disney but prices are getting crazy . . .

 

. . . Our kids will be 4 & 8 . . .

 

. . . Are we going to wish we spent the extra $ and just sailed with Disney? Should we wait until kids are older to do RCCL?

We have cruised a bit on Disney (Castaway Club platinum), RCI (Crown & Anchor diamond), and a few others. Although DCL is $$$, they excel at entertaining young kids. IMHO, RCI is more suitable for older kids. I would wait.

 

Woody