Scared to go on First Cruise

[Garrett_TheFerret]

Hey everyone. Sorry if this has come up before; I searched briefly but couldn't find anything. Long story short, my SO is feeling pretty anxious about our first cruise next week. Her fears are all irrational and she knows it - the ship sinking, something bad happening to us in Mexico, etc. - but I'd still like to know of some ways in which I could calm her down. Has anyone else run into this problem and could point me in the right direction?

[serene56]

Unless you are sailing on the titanic --

sorry, couldnt resisit.

 

I guess have her look into how many ships have sank in the past few years.

or how many accidents.

 

stuff happens. If we didnt do stuff because we were afraid we would miss out.

 

I can tell you my husband didnt want to cruise for any number of reasons.

He got cut short out of life and died at 45 without having experienced anything I did in the past 10 years-- because he always thought he had later to do it.

 

that itself is reason enough-- and reason that I have done stuff yesterday because I am not guaranteed tomorrow

[cb at sea]

Call her doctor and get her some valium! Honestly, there's nothing you can say to alleviate irrational fears. Once she gets on the ship, she'll see she's being silly.

[luddite]

Life is what happens while you are making plans.

I don't have phobias so I cannot really help allay her fears.

[sjcruiser]

Some people really fear getting on cruise ships. Whether the fear is valid or not, is truly with the person, and is based in part by fear of water (large bodies and swimming pools), the ship sinking (Titanic and Concordia), but most can be psychological based on the above factors or what they see or read (movies, books, etc.). To get people to try cruises with this "fear," we show them cruise travel shows on the Travel Channel, along with our cruise pictures and videos of us having a great time. We had a family member scared of falling overboard, so they would go on a cruise. This past summer, during sail away, we showed her the height of the railings, and explained what it took to fall overboard. After that you couldn't get her off the deck. I think so proactive measures before the cruise may alleviate the issue, and if that fails, talk to a doctor on what's causing the fear. If all else fails, maybe cruising is just not for them.

[Laughing Angel]

You can reassure your significant other with statistics, safety information, procedures, etc, but it ultimately comes down to taking that chance and allowing yourself to live. We do it every day, whether it's walking down the sidewalk, crossing the street or driving to work.

 

I won't dismiss her anxiety, because I do understand. I too, was nervous before my first cruise, but once I spoke to the crew, and got a chance to explore the ship, I felt totally at ease. Knowledge is power, and the more she learns about the ship, and the safety procedures in place, etc, the more comfortable she will be. Hey, they had to practically kick me off the ship I had such a good time.

:D

 

That said, relaxation techniques might be helpful.

 

Remember, the odds are with you!

 

I hope you have a terrific time--good luck!

[Silvery Seas Cruiser]

What is her biggest fear--falling overboard, the ship sinking, feeling trapped on a ship with nothing to do and no place to go, the crowds?

 

Find out what her biggest fear is and then show her all the things on the ship that can counteract her fear. For example, show her all the lifeboats if she is afraid the ship will sink. Show her the big metal tubes that have rubber life rafts in them. Show her all the life vests and big chests full of life vests. Tell her about the muster drills and show her where her muster station is. Just kind of walk her through each of her concerns.

 

Is she old enough to drink? (Sorry, I don't know what an SO is.) Get her a glass of champagne or an umbrella drink soon after you board and that might help calm her anxiety a bit until you can show her around the ship and show her things to steady her nerves.

 

But it might be tough to convince a truly fearful person even with rational arguments and explanations. It make take a lot of patience. I hope you can prevail.

[VillaHappy]

All good advice above.

[BlondeCruiser24]

I'm not gonna lie I was a little freaked out about our first cruise that is coming up next week as well. Now that it is super close I found I am more at ease because of talking to many other experienced cruisers. For me it helps to talk to people who have a lot of experience...maybe introduce her to some cruisers on here that can help her out!

[njrover0216]

This is my first time cruising and I am petrified as well! I have been spending a lot of time online, looking through pictures, searching through forums...by doing this I am more focused on the exciting things I am going to do and not the things I am scared of. I think what scares me most is being left behind at one of the ports, being enclosed in a small room and being stuck on a ship with no way off. I am also scared that something is going to happen to my kids. I will go to the doctors and get some anxiety meds to get me through arrivial and boarding. I figure after the first full day I should be feeling better!

[fleckle]

This is similar to fear of flying, which many people have.

 

Some people attend therapy sessions to get over it because they need to fly as the most expedient way to get where they need to go.

 

A cruise is supposed to be an enjoyable vacation, but nobody needs to take a cruise.

 

Since you already have the cruise booked, and it is rather late now for therapy sessions, it may be reassuring to your SO if you point out that in a worst case scenario, if she absolutely hates it, she can disembark at the first port and you will pay for her to fly back home and will go with her.

(Unless she also has a fear of flying. :eek:)

 

When one is in an uncomfortable or fearful situation, it relieves a lot of the tension and pressure if you know that you have a way out.

 

Also since she is only going along to please you, that you promise you will never try to talk her into taking another cruise again if she finds she does not care for it, and that you will agree to the type of vacation she enjoys the next time.

 

If she does not view the cruise as a harrowing ordeal that she feels pressured to complete no matter what, she may actually relax and enjoy it.

[Garrett_TheFerret]

Thanks for all of your input everyone, I appreciate it. To give some background: she and I have been dating for the better part of a year and I earned our two tickets as part of a sales incentive through my employer. I've wanted to go cruising ever since I became obsessed with the Titanic as a little kid, so I'm pumped :D I hope this is just the beginning of our lives as cruisers.

 

With that said, I really like the idea of pointing out all of the ship's safety devices to her. I had already planned to take us on a self-guided tour of the ship (another great idea I stole from here), so working in the lifeboats and such shouldn't be too difficult. Honestly, I think she'll be fine as soon as we set foot onboard and get settled in, but knowing where everything is couldn't hurt.

 

By the way - we're officially down to the 7-day mark :D It'll be tough to go to work this week because I cannot WAIT!

[sparks1093]

Hope you and SO enjoy your cruise!

 

A good number of years ago when my oldest was a little peanut I took him with me to buy a computer from a well known office supply store. The computer I wanted was not in stock at that store, but was in stock across the lake in New York. When we were about half way there I mentioned that we would have to take the ferry across the lake. WOW! He panicked and started crying, even threatened to open his door and jump out of the car. He was afraid that driving the car on the ferry would cause it to sink. I did what I could to calm him down and by the time we arrived at the ferry dock he had at least stopped crying. On the ride across I got out of the car and walked around on the deck where he could see me and he got up the nerve to join me. He has loved ferries ever since and loves cruising too.

[aquilegia]

If she is really worried about something happening in Mexico, she's not obliged to go ashore. Quite a lot of people really enjoy staying on board on port days and there are often offers on spa treatments on these days.

[Krazy Kruizers]

Once she gets on the ship -- she will love it.

Point out that there are lots of things to do on the ship.

No one is going to force her to get off the ship in Mexico.

[SMerritt]

Hey everyone. Sorry if this has come up before; I searched briefly but couldn't find anything. Long story short, my SO is feeling pretty anxious about our first cruise next week. Her fears are all irrational and she knows it - the ship sinking, something bad happening to us in Mexico, etc. - but I'd still like to know of some ways in which I could calm her down. Has anyone else run into this problem and could point me in the right direction?

 

She has agreed to go! Possibly in your first port, just get off of the ship and tour the port, shop a little, walk around and get the "feel" of Mexico?

 

We have been on 10 cruises now, and I still start getting "anxious" about getting ready - what to pack and other preparations for leaving for a week or so - I am sure this is adding to her anxiety.

 

As you have surely seen on the boards here, once on the ship it is 99.9% sure that she will calm down and have a great time, possibly laugh at herself and start talking about your next cruise ;)

[maureencruiser]

OMG! You won a cruise!! That is awesome. Have her look at peoples videos on youtube and here, be aware there are some scary ones, you pick them out for her. Have her look at the picture reviews of your ship as well. Seeing pics of other people walking around casually eating icecream cones, etc might help her to see it is not scary. What ship are you on? I just read a great revies\w of the Navigator of the seas, with lots of pics. Gorgeous!! Look for a video called Wolfs Dance Oasis...a sweet family who make great videos.

[spunkyhungry]

Help her focus on all the good aspects of the cruise that she will look forward to, such as fun excursions/activities you will do at the various destinations, abundance of great food, shows and on-board activities, etc. What is she looking forward to the most? Help her focus on that instead. Whenever she mentions her fears tell her that she will be fine. Recruit other people she trusts to tell her she will be fine. I think the more she hears it the more she will believe it. Tell her to choose love (joy, happiness) over fear.

[kingoftheicedragons]

Yes, things can happen on a cruise ship. The best thing to do though is make a conscience effort to be safe. Know where your life jackets are in your cabin, pay attention at the muster drill, follow all safety regulations put out by the cruise line. Follow the same sorts of things you would do at a land hotel--know your escape routes, etc. Things can happen, but being prepared for them in case they do is the best thing that can happen.

 

I know my wife was a little concerned before our first cruise about the stories of people disappearing on ships and was insistent that I wouldn't be going anywhere on my own. Once we got on board, though, and actually experienced it, she realized that it was just as safe as anywhere else.

[Fishing_dude]

I always kinda knew cruises were safe.....but if you can take the "behind the scenes tour" excursion.....talk about safety! They have backup plans for backup plans! This tour will clearly take out any doubt!

 

And remember.....your likely not to see these folks on the boat again, so appreciate them, have fun with them, and get out there and dance! We'll be here waiting for the pics when u guys come back!:D

[d4nigirl]

I was nervous about going to Mexico on a cruise last year especially because of all those horror stories about stuff happening to PAX in Cozumel. My fiance and I had a plan, and we discussed it in depth (going to the bathroom alone, but in pairs, etc.) and it definitely put my mind at ease.

 

Just have a plan and you'll be fine

[SMerritt]

Thanks for all of your input everyone, I appreciate it. To give some background: she and I have been dating for the better part of a year and I earned our two tickets as part of a sales incentive through my employer. I've wanted to go cruising ever since I became obsessed with the Titanic as a little kid, so I'm pumped :D I hope this is just the beginning of our lives as cruisers.

 

With that said, I really like the idea of pointing out all of the ship's safety devices to her. I had already planned to take us on a self-guided tour of the ship (another great idea I stole from here), so working in the lifeboats and such shouldn't be too difficult. Honestly, I think she'll be fine as soon as we set foot onboard and get settled in, but knowing where everything is couldn't hurt.

 

By the way - we're officially down to the 7-day mark :D It'll be tough to go to work this week because I cannot WAIT!

 

I just noticed -

 

"I've wanted to go cruising ever since I became obsessed with the Titanic as a little kid, so I'm pumped :D I hope this is just the beginning of our lives as cruisers."

 

Possibly your "obsession" is her problem? :D

 

Have a GREAT TIME! Just leave your Titanic obsession at home, and report back on how much she loved cruising

[CavalierX]

By the way - we're officially down to the 7-day mark :D It'll be tough to go to work this week because I cannot WAIT!

 

Going on your very first cruise in just a few days? God, I envy you. As for your SO, don't belittle her fears, but let her know that approximately 185 million people cruised during the last 20 years * without incident. The reason you hear about cruise ship problems on the news is that they are news -- not every fender-bender on the highway rates a news spot, because traffic accidents are so common. Any problems you encounter will likely be minor -- and will make funny stories to tell when you get home.

 

* as per the Florida-Caribbean Cruise Association

[meggie711]

OMG! You won a cruise!! That is awesome. Have her look at peoples videos on youtube and here, be aware there are some scary ones, you pick them out for her. Have her look at the picture reviews of your ship as well. Seeing pics of other people walking around casually eating icecream cones, etc might help her to see it is not scary. What ship are you on? I just read a great revies\w of the Navigator of the seas, with lots of pics. Gorgeous!! Look for a video called Wolfs Dance Oasis...a sweet family who make great videos.

 

I was thinking the same thing! Find some FUN cruise videos that you screen ahead of time to show her. There's always a few scary looking videos that end up in your search results, and if she sees those, she may become even more scared. Look at some like the NCL Star welcome back party, and things like that. I actually can't swim and have a slight fear of the water, so hubby and I have always been amazed at how comfortable I am on cruise ships! :)