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muster drill with autistic child


Marie51
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Does anyone know how we would go about arranging for a private muster drill? We will be on Royal Caribbean. I contacted their special needs dept and all I was told is to go to Guest Relations desk when we board and ask there. However I would like to have something arranged before we board so I know for sure that it is possible.

thanks

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I do not know., but if you can not arrange a private one, then be sure you are on the muster deck 30 minutes or more before muster time. That avoids busy or shut down elevators. If you go to your assigned muster station they can reassign you to the handicap muster station.

Edited by jackretired
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Does anyone know how we would go about arranging for a private muster drill? We will be on Royal Caribbean. I contacted their special needs dept and all I was told is to go to Guest Relations desk when we board and ask there. However I would like to have something arranged before we board so I know for sure that it is possible.

thanks

 

There is a handicap muster station on NCL and RCCL cruises that we have been on. My father have mobility issues. That station is relatively easy to access from the accessible cabins. There are also special and extra crews to assist in a real emergency. I notice the lifeboats near this station look different (accessibility issues?)

You should notify guest relationship about special health needs and see if you can be part of this. Guest needs to be preregistered. You can't just not show up at your normal muster station and go to the handicap one.

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Not sure about a private drill but I have mobility issues and cannot stand for any length of time. Our muster drill station was out on the deck outside the casino so there was not way I could it. Spoke to the crew member in charge and he directed me to go inside the casino. There were a few other passengers there and a crew member did the drill there for us.

 

Good luck and hope it all works out.

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It's my understanding that there is no "private" muster station, however they might be able to group you with the mobility challenged passengers.

 

My friends who have cruised with children on the spectrum have spent a lot of time preparing in advance with social stories and gone to the regular muster.

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It's my understanding that there is no "private" muster station, however they might be able to group you with the mobility challenged passengers.

 

My friends who have cruised with children on the spectrum have spent a lot of time preparing in advance with social stories and gone to the regular muster.

 

We are doing quite a bit of preparing not only for the cruise but also for the flight and overnight in a hotel. I had read somewhere that special needs children such as those with autism could stay in the cabin for the muster drill and watch it on TV.

 

Thanks for responding. I appreciate all advise.

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You won't be allowed to stay in your cabin and watch it on tv, but contact special needs before the cruise; tell them what your situation is. If they don't respond, contact guest services once you board and advise them of your situation....they will make sure you are sent to the appropriate area for "handicapped" life boat drill.....and if you contact Autism on the Seas, even if it is not one of their cruises, they will help you with the lifeboat drill etc..... I really recommend contacting them.

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I have absolute sympathy with anyone who has a disability, and have had extensive personal experience with children and adults with varying degrees of autism, but one should remember that the drill is meant to show passengers where to meet during a real emergency. One should also remember that if there is a need to ever actually evacuate the ship, there will be no private, personal evacuation.

 

Although it may seem chaotic to a child with autism, the drill is also meant to mimic a real-life situation. This is why, in New Jersey, all school children must participate in drills, to help them to know what to expect in a true emergency.

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Please check out this link. It is a review from a family with an autistic child and what the cruise lines do for them!

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=1881779

 

Example - As I mentioned before, DS is autistic. He also has sensory integration disorder (SID) and generalized anxiety, among other things. The SID makes it so that anything that involves the senses is greatly magnified for him. So, you can imagine that the muster / safety drill is magnificent test for him. Standing among people with different smells (he swears everyone has a very distinct smell and he can smell each and every one in his area), lots of conflicting sounds (b/c of his anxiety he wants to focus on what the captain is saying and b/c of his autism, he wants everyone to follow the rules), people brushing up against him or even stepping on his gigantic feet (the boy, at 11, wears size 10 men's :eek:), and so on causes so many issues that we aren't quite ready to share with our 3000 or so new friends. So...since the last significant meltdown during the muster drill on the Dream that ruined the whole night and darn near the whole cruise, we have found it prudent to send an email to Carnival's special needs dept. and ask for an alternate safety drill. Carnival has ALWAYS been very accommodating in this, so if your child has special needs, please do yourself a favor and write them a letter.

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  • 1 month later...

My son with autism has been on 5 cruises (he is now 8) both before and after diagnosis. There are many issues during the muster drill that can affect our kids and we parents ask for accommodations not just for us but for the safety of those around us during a drill.

 

So that those without autistic family members understand I will share some past experiences. First the orange life vest. Now I have no idea how I will manage should I ever need to evacuate the boat but everyone else can where one, I cannot. He will scream bloody murder at the top of his lungs. Many cruise lines no longer require these be brought to the muster drill and I hope there are very few people like my husband who has no clue how to put it on.

 

Next issue I've gone early, I've explained to the staff. The result was time to line up we end up on the back line being mushed the longest and between the touching, the looks, the talking, the smells he struggles and I usually ended up restraining him struggling to prevent him from hitting, kicking, and biting those around us. Result was I got yelled at for not following directions.

 

Our last cruise it was noted on our account that we were traveling with a special needs child. When we were checking in the account was flagged that there was a message from guest services. When we got to the room there was a voice mail waiting. End result guest services asked what they could do and I told them. I had a meeting with the director of the children's program and was given a location for the alternative muster drill location. It was quiet and calm. Now since we had been on the ship 2 times before (in the same room) I knew where to go. Our next cruise I will take a trip to the muster station so that I can find it if needed but unless you want a screaming, hitting, kicking, and biting child next to you allow us parents to make the best decisions for our families and give us the opportunity to respect our fellow passengers by not knocking us when we are asking about information for accommodations.

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we have done many cruises with our asd son. we use autism on the seas. we have done muster drill with everyone (when he's been able to handle it) and we have also done it in our cabin. this was on carnival. we are given a print out of the instructions and told to go to our cabin and review it.

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we have done many cruises with our asd son. we use autism on the seas. we have done muster drill with everyone (when he's been able to handle it) and we have also done it in our cabin. this was on carnival. we are given a print out of the instructions and told to go to our cabin and review it.

 

That is just so weird. On our last cruise and the first time we did the alternate muster drill we finished before everyone else did. The cabin steward freaked when he found us in the room. I did show him the printed material but I would have to guess that the did some checking to make sure we were telling the truth.

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  • 2 weeks later...
I have absolute sympathy with anyone who has a disability, and have had extensive personal experience with children and adults with varying degrees of autism, but one should remember that the drill is meant to show passengers where to meet during a real emergency. One should also remember that if there is a need to ever actually evacuate the ship, there will be no private, personal evacuation.

 

Although it may seem chaotic to a child with autism, the drill is also meant to mimic a real-life situation. This is why, in New Jersey, all school children must participate in drills, to help them to know what to expect in a true emergency.

 

Chaotic is not the whole problem. Many of these kids also suffer from anxiety as well as the obsessiveness that goes along with spectrum disorders. The sensory issues are a whole other delight. If my son were to go to the muster drill, the entire week leading up to the cruise as well as the rest of the cruise would be a disaster.

 

The week before, he would literally be paralyzed by anxiety and find it virtually impossible to think of anything else. Once he'd attended the drill and the vast over the top sensory nightmare that entails, I probably would not be able to get him to leave the cabin the rest of the trip. He would desperately want to, but he'd have a panic attack everytime he got close to doing it. Through very poor planning on my part, we just experienced a week like this at WDW. He got overwhelmed the first night and that was it.

 

Obviously we want to prepare for an emergency and keep our children safe. I have not done this with Royal yet but on both Carnival and NCL we have been able to stay in our cabin while husband and other kids went to the drill. We tried on the life vests and we watched the drill on our television. Then, later in the evening we walked to our muster station, noting visual cues along the way and then again with him showing me where to go. Hoping Royal will allow a similar arrangement as we sail with them in the spring.

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  • 3 weeks later...
I have absolute sympathy with anyone who has a disability, and have had extensive personal experience with children and adults with varying degrees of autism, but one should remember that the drill is meant to show passengers where to meet during a real emergency. One should also remember that if there is a need to ever actually evacuate the ship, there will be no private, personal evacuation.

 

Although it may seem chaotic to a child with autism, the drill is also meant to mimic a real-life situation. This is why, in New Jersey, all school children must participate in drills, to help them to know what to expect in a true emergency.

Totally agree, this is surely a drill for all our benefits and if these are too traumatic to deal with, then how on earth would anyone deal with the 'real thing'?

 

I had to think long and hard before booking for our cruise and do we have a responsibility to make sure we are not an unecessary burden on the ship's crew?

 

I have the utmost sympathy with the author but how would this child cope in an emergency? Hysterical passengers all huddled in large groups, perhaps shouting and demanding answers to a thousand and one questions. Lights flashing on and off, the crew running about with floodlights, torches being shone in faces. Passengers all pushing and shoving, trying to change lifeboats!! When things run smoothly, I am sure a cruise is a wonderful experience but if they go wrong, we cannot open a door and walk off the ship!!

 

Would it be better to attend these drills and at least experience being in a large gathering of people?

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I have the utmost sympathy with the author but how would this child cope in an emergency? Hysterical passengers all huddled in large groups, perhaps shouting and demanding answers to a thousand and one questions. Lights flashing on and off, the crew running about with floodlights, torches being shone in faces. Passengers all pushing and shoving, trying to change lifeboats!! When things run smoothly, I am sure a cruise is a wonderful experience but if they go wrong, we cannot open a door and walk off the ship!!

 

Would it be better to attend these drills and at least experience being in a large gathering of people?

 

We already know how the react in a large gathering of people and believe me they practice that skill on a regular basis in real life. And since we, the parents, already know how they will react at least during a drill I, as a parent of a child with autism, would like to protect the passengers around me.

 

Would you mind having you and your significant other, family, and cruisemates get on either side and infront/inback of me so that your group is the only one at risk of physical injury? Is that risk really worth it for a drill? And for that matter now it will take me hours to calm him down to a normal state. My son loves cruising. This next cruise is something he has been begging for. You let me, and the other parents, worry about how to handle our kids in a really emergency but during the drill it simply isn't worth it. I assure you that most mom's/parent's of autistic children will manage better then most during that crisis situation should it ever happen because we spend our lives in a fight or flight mode on a daily basis. You tick of a mom (primary caretaker) of an autistic child and the adrenalin will flow. It is not uncommon for the primary caregiver to be diagnosed with PTSD by the time the kids are teenagers because of this.

 

The difference between a drill and reality is that in a drill you stand wall to wall with people beside and in-front of you (our kids the longest since we have usually gotten to the muster drill location early thus we have been made to go to the back row) and this can be for 5 to 15 minutes depending on smooth drill or issues. In reality you are running for you life to the nearest lifeboat and you are not standing there in your neat little rows all mushed together (it is in these confined moments when the autism is likely to take hold because of scents, touches, sounds, etc putting them into sensory overload).

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We already know how the react in a large gathering of people and believe me they practice that skill on a regular basis in real life. And since we, the parents, already know how they will react at least during a drill I, as a parent of a child with autism, would like to protect the passengers around me.

 

Would you mind having you and your significant other, family, and cruisemates get on either side and infront/inback of me so that your group is the only one at risk of physical injury? Is that risk really worth it for a drill? And for that matter now it will take me hours to calm him down to a normal state. My son loves cruising. This next cruise is something he has been begging for. You let me, and the other parents, worry about how to handle our kids in a really emergency but during the drill it simply isn't worth it. I assure you that most mom's/parent's of autistic children will manage better then most during that crisis situation should it ever happen because we spend our lives in a fight or flight mode on a daily basis. You tick of a mom (primary caretaker) of an autistic child and the adrenalin will flow. It is not uncommon for the primary caregiver to be diagnosed with PTSD by the time the kids are teenagers because of this.

 

The difference between a drill and reality is that in a drill you stand wall to wall with people beside and in-front of you (our kids the longest since we have usually gotten to the muster drill location early thus we have been made to go to the back row) and this can be for 5 to 15 minutes depending on smooth drill or issues. In reality you are running for you life to the nearest lifeboat and you are not standing there in your neat little rows all mushed together (it is in these confined moments when the autism is likely to take hold because of scents, touches, sounds, etc putting them into sensory overload).

I'm sorry but I have no idea what your point is. Are you suggesting you should be exempt from an emergency drill because you know what to do, or because your child is autistic?

 

PLEASE accept I fully understand your attitude toward your child but from what I have read it is now a requirement for all cruise ships to carry out these drills prior to sailing?

 

The master I believe has to sign off on this drill prior to the ship sailing and some cruise lines have actually disembarked passengers that have failed or refused to attend because of claimed medical conditions.

 

I am NOT suggesting all cruise lines take this arbitrary action and much respect to you for wanting this question answered sooner, rather than later. It is certainly possible that you might get this disspensation and I am a great believer in 'Don't ask, don't get'

 

HAL's muster drills now include roll calls as well as "passenger announcements that refer to the fact that failure to participate may result in disembarkation, as was the case with this incident.

 

The ship has a mandatory duty of care regarding emergency drills and I believe It is a requirement that ALL passengers attend and from what I have read the master has to record the fact that this has been done prior to the ship sailing.

 

What decision you make has absolutely NOTHING to do with me, you have asked a sensible question and hopefully you have got sensible answers from folks on the Internet but your wanting an official response from the cruise line makes far more sense.

 

You have rightly in my opinion tried to get an official response to your query prior to the cruise and to me the only folks that can answer this very important query are the cruise line. It would be daft to listen to someone on the Internet who suggests you cannot avoid these musters, but are they wrong to say that?

 

I do not however understand why you cannot get an official answer to that very sensible question, is the company ducking the question? To highlight this last statement I would like to explain why I say that.

 

In August 2012 I contacted Cunard to book a cruise in 2014 but before the disability department would agree to this booking they contacted the Medical Officer on the ship. When this request was made the ship was in the Greek Islands and yet they got a response within 24 hours! The senior medical officer made certain stipulations, one of which was coincidentally the fact I would have to attend any and all required muster drills!! That does NOT however mean your child would have to attend them..

 

My point with that statement is to simply highlight that I can see no reason why your query cannot be answered prior to embarkation.

 

We are all here offering opinions and hopefully you are accepting them in the spirit they are made. Hopefully you will get this clearance and let us all know the outcome?

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Each and every passenger on a cruise ship attends a muster drill. If you are blessed to be an able bodied passenger this mandatory drill takes place at assigned muster stations and is the typical muster drill. However, there are passengers whose particular disability preclude the standing packed like sardines for the duration of the drill . The cruise lines have taken this into account and will provide a muster drill that allows them to participate. Would you take issue with a wounded one leg veteran being offered a chance to sit during the drill ? Of course not! An autistic individual frequently cannot tolerate the closed in conditions of the drill most passenger stand through. But rest assured, they will attend a muster drill, just not the same one as you, in the same place. There is no greater advocate, or anyone more aware of her child's safety, than the parent of an autistic child.

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Each and every passenger on a cruise ship attends a muster drill. If you are blessed to be an able bodied passenger this mandatory drill takes place at assigned muster stations and is the typical muster drill. However, there are passengers whose particular disability preclude the standing packed like sardines for the duration of the drill . The cruise lines have taken this into account and will provide a muster drill that allows them to participate. Would you take issue with a wounded one leg veteran being offered a chance to sit during the drill ? Of course not! An autistic individual frequently cannot tolerate the closed in conditions of the drill most passenger stand through. But rest assured, they will attend a muster drill, just not the same one as you, in the same place. There is no greater advocate, or anyone more aware of her child's safety, than the parent of an autistic child.

I fear you are not thinking this through.. We have both had our say and whilst I do not have one leg, I believe I do have a right to express an opinion.

 

I cannot stand unaided, nor indeed sit!!

 

And YES I will be attending this mandatory drill and most definitely not be asking for ANY dispensation but where does it say we cannot sit if there is a medical reason for so doing, although I might tactfully suggest that sitting may well see us getting trampled in a real drill\panic

 

To get to this cruise ship I will have travelled just under 200 miles in the back of an extremely uncomfortable ambulance but instead of being able to recover and allow my pain to settle to an acceptable level, I will be compelled to attend this drill prior to the ship sailing.

 

This drill is a mandatory requirement that ALL passengers on a Cunard ship have to attend (or so I was told by the senior medical officer) For this muster I will be in excruciating pain (somewhat controlled by long term morphine medication) Because of the trauma my body will no doubt be put through getting to this muster my body will suffer prolonged violent spasms, but I will have learnt how to get to my muster station in a crowd, without using a lift!! something I will need to know should a real emergency arise and something I will have learnt about by doing this drill.

 

I will not be asking for any type of dispensation, I will most certainly not be playing any type of disability card, nor asking to be excused. I opted to go on a cruise, my choice, my decision. I knew I had to do these drills and if I did not like the rules of the game then I had the option of not playing. Are these drills are for our benefit?

 

Incidentally before having my booking accepted for this cruise I had to get clearance firstly from the Special Needs Department at Cunard Head Office and then from the senior medical officer aboard the ship. Thankfully this person had no objections providing I agreed to attend any and all drills. If I could not attend the drills, I would not be allowed to board the ship!!

 

So whilst I am a veteran, (I hate that word) I still have two legs (which are quite literally... In every sense of the word...... A pain in the Butt) ;) I was terribly injured in the line of duty and feel I have earned the right to simply talk about my condition or your wounded, one legged veteran. So contrary to what you are suggesting I believe I can be judgemental regarding my own condition.

 

I am ex-military and for my sins I believe in training how to fight, and fighting how we train!!!! TRAIN HARD, FIGHT EASY, or do the drills as close to realism as possible and hopefully when the real situation arises we have learnt how to 'walk the walk'

 

My turn to ask you a question...

If I, or that mythical wounded, one legged veteran were to turn up early, or use a lift..... then how do we know how the crew will get us down those stairs? How do we know how the crew will cope with someone that cannot sit or walk? By having our own private drill, are we creating a completely force environment that bears no reality to what we are trying to achieve?

 

The crew has a duty to get me to my station and I want to learn how that is done and possibly offer constructive observations if needed to help them perform this unenviable task. (I weigh just over 16stone and am a horizontal 2 metres in length) This may well mean that moving me might be at the very least 'a challenge'

 

What would I learn if I get dispensation, use the lifts or get to my area early or even have my own personal drill. I am someone that believes that if we do something, we should do it properly or why bother?

 

I will attend this muster drill and learn from it as much as I possibly can.

 

I most certainly do not listen to folks that simply say, 'What will be, will be'!!

 

I feel I must however emphasis that........ YOU ARE DOING WHAT YOU THINK IS RIGHT

 

I have put that in bold type NOT to shout, but to emphasis the fact I understand why you are making this stance.

 

You are doing what you think is right but don't assume others will always agree with your opinion.

 

You are doing what you believe is right, I am doing what I am told :o:o (humour)..

 

Hopefully we are two adults with possibly opposing opinions and whilst I concede I do not have a child that is autistic, I do know however that if I did have such a child, I would personally attend this muster, and this is where we are different.... We are both doing what we believe is correct.

 

If it was dangerous for my child to attend these drills then I most definitely would NOT attend it.

 

There is no greater advocate, or anyone more aware of her child's safety, than the parent of an autistic child.

 

By default, I would then not go on a cruise ship, but that is me and we are NOT discussing what I would or would not do.

 

I live with my disability because I know there are always folks worse off and strange as it may seem that gives me strength to cope with life.... These muster drills are for our benefit and in my very own personal opinion, they should be taken seriously and carried out correctly.

 

This is me voicing my very own personal observations to a query you have asked.

 

It is possible that you will ask head office of the company you are sailing with and they may well give you that dispensation.

 

It is also possible the crew may turn a blind eye to your not taking part...

 

All this has absolutely NOTHING to do with me, I am simply replying to points you have raised in your last post and also then offering my position if I were in your much smaller shoes. ;)

 

We are clearly not going to agree regarding this issue and I genuinely and sincerely wish you good luck with your communicating with the cruise line and hopefully you will have an uneventful cruise.

 

Best wishes

John the veteran:eek:;)

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I'm sorry but I have no idea what your point is. Are you suggesting you should be exempt from an emergency drill because you know what to do, or because your child is autistic?

 

PLEASE accept I fully understand your attitude toward your child but from what I have read it is now a requirement for all cruise ships to carry out these drills prior to sailing?

 

The master I believe has to sign off on this drill prior to the ship sailing and some cruise lines have actually disembarked passengers that have failed or refused to attend because of claimed medical conditions.

 

My statement was in reaction to many of the statements and reactions above. Please read:

 

There is a handicap muster station on NCL and RCCL cruises that we have been on. My father have mobility issues. That station is relatively easy to access from the accessible cabins. There are also special and extra crews to assist in a real emergency. I notice the lifeboats near this station look different (accessibility issues?)

 

Not sure about a private drill but I have mobility issues and cannot stand for any length of time. Our muster drill station was out on the deck outside the casino so there was not way I could it. Spoke to the crew member in charge and he directed me to go inside the casino. There were a few other passengers there and a crew member did the drill there for us.

 

It's my understanding that there is no "private" muster station, however they might be able to group you with the mobility challenged passengers.

 

My friends who have cruised with children on the spectrum have spent a lot of time preparing in advance with social stories and gone to the regular muster.

 

I have absolute sympathy with anyone who has a disability, and have had extensive personal experience with children and adults with varying degrees of autism, but one should remember that the drill is meant to show passengers where to meet during a real emergency. One should also remember that if there is a need to ever actually evacuate the ship, there will be no private, personal evacuation.

 

Although it may seem chaotic to a child with autism, the drill is also meant to mimic a real-life situation. This is why, in New Jersey, all school children must participate in drills, to help them to know what to expect in a true emergency.

 

So while I think it is wonderful that you have the utmost sympathy with the author basically what you are saying is that we (the families of those children with autism who have difficulty in handling many situations) should never ever take a vacation because so many components will need to be modified and you (and many others) don't think that is a good idea.

 

I never said that we should be exempt from an emergency drill but that seems to be what people think. What we are doing is utilizing the cruise-lines provided alternate muster drill and we have every right to utilize that service. And we should be able to share this information with other travelers who are unaware without being accused of wanting to get the cruise-line in trouble for not participating in the mandatory muster drill. I didn't learn of this option until my son's 5th cruise and I believe that others should learn prior to their 1st cruise.

 

 

 

Each and every passenger on a cruise ship attends a muster drill. If you are blessed to be an able bodied passenger this mandatory drill takes place at assigned muster stations and is the typical muster drill. However, there are passengers whose particular disability preclude the standing packed like sardines for the duration of the drill . The cruise lines have taken this into account and will provide a muster drill that allows them to participate. Would you take issue with a wounded one leg veteran being offered a chance to sit during the drill ? Of course not! An autistic individual frequently cannot tolerate the closed in conditions of the drill most passenger stand through. But rest assured, they will attend a muster drill, just not the same one as you, in the same place. There is no greater advocate, or anyone more aware of her child's safety, than the parent of an autistic child.

 

Beautifully said. :D

 

 

I cannot stand unaided, nor indeed sit!!

 

And YES I will be attending this mandatory drill and most definitely not be asking for ANY dispensation but where does it say we cannot sit if there is a medical reason for so doing, although I might tactfully suggest that sitting may well see us getting trampled in a real drill\panic

 

This drill is a mandatory requirement that ALL passengers on a Cunard ship have to attend (or so I was told by the senior medical officer) For this muster I will be in excruciating pain (somewhat controlled by long term morphine medication) Because of the trauma my body will no doubt be put through getting to this muster my body will suffer prolonged violent spasms, but I will have learnt how to get to my muster station in a crowd, without using a lift!! something I will need to know should a real emergency arise and something I will have learnt about by doing this drill.

 

I will not be asking for any type of dispensation, I will most certainly not be playing any type of disability card, nor asking to be excused. I opted to go on a cruise, my choice, my decision. I knew I had to do these drills and if I did not like the rules of the game then I had the option of not playing. Are these drills are for our benefit?

 

I commend your choice for not wanting dispensation however you are not going to scream at the top of your lungs, hit, bite, kick, or scratch those around you are you?

 

Can you sit during the drill well that depends and I'm not familiar with your cruiseline's procedure however during the part where you stand by the lifeboats (if it occurs during the entire drill or after meeting in a public room, or not at all) no you cannot sit as there are no seats. I was yelled at for getting on the ground with my son while I restrained him because that was not procedure.

 

The crew has a duty to get me to my station and I want to learn how that is done and possibly offer constructive observations if needed to help them perform this unenviable task.

 

Most likely won't happen on such an individual basis during the drill but will be discussed and arrangements made during the alternative location if needed.

 

 

 

I do know however that if I did have such a child, I would personally attend this muster, and this is where we are different....
If you are attending the muster drill and your child is not just curious but who is watching your child?

 

Let those of us with experience in dealing with this population help others dealing with these difficulties and leave out the ones that just don't and can't have an understanding of what it is like being told so many times just keep your child under lock and key at home if being out in the world is so difficult and interfering to others.

 

signed,

 

Mom with a black belt in autism

Board Certified Behavior Analyst

28 years experience working with the autism population

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My son with autism has been on 5 cruises (he is now 8) both before and after diagnosis. There are many issues during the muster drill that can affect our kids and we parents ask for accommodations not just for us but for the safety of those around us during a drill.

 

So that those without autistic family members understand I will share some past experiences. First the orange life vest. Now I have no idea how I will manage should I ever need to evacuate the boat but everyone else can where one, I cannot. He will scream bloody murder at the top of his lungs. Many cruise lines no longer require these be brought to the muster drill and I hope there are very few people like my husband who has no clue how to put it on.

May I very respectfully ask a few questions as you have left me confused.

 

Does the ship have a legal requirement to carry out these drills prior to the ship sailing?

 

Do you want an exception to be made for the condition of your child?

 

You say the following:

 

I commend your choice for not wanting dispensation however you are not going to scream at the top of your lungs, hit, bite, kick, or scratch those around you are you?

 

Can you sit during the drill well that depends and I'm not familiar with your cruise-line's procedure however during the part where you stand by the lifeboats (if it occurs during the entire drill or after meeting in a public room, or not at all) no you cannot sit as there are no seats. I was yelled at for getting on the ground with my son while I restrained him because that was not procedure.

I have highlighted two points which have left me confused..

 

You state your son will:

 

scream at the top of their lungs, hit, bite, kick, or scratch those around you

 

The cruise line we are sailing with asks at the time of booking to declare any serious disabilities that passengers might have. Does this requirement apply to the companies you sail with? If so, then no doubt you informed them of your son's condition and behaviour? I say this as I believe we all have a duty toward not just our families, but also our fellow shipmates and of course the crew?

 

Once we report our conditions and the cruise line accept our booking, then do they then have a responsibility of care toward our safety and well being?

 

I have no idea if the cruise lines you sail with ask about medical conditions or disabilities so PLEASE do not read anything into what I have just said.

 

You then ask me the following:

 

So while I think it is wonderful that you have the utmost sympathy with the author basically what you are saying is that we (the families of those children with autism who have difficulty in handling many situations) should never ever take a vacation because so many components will need to be modified and you (and many others) don't think that is a good idea.

 

I hate using children as examples so will use myself and yes these symptoms are real and not exaggerated..

 

I want to go on a mountaineering holiday with a reputable company.

 

I am severely disabled, cannot walk unaided, I am in terrible, continual pain only controlled by the strongest of medications. My lower body will frequently go into spasms so violent that they sprain my pesky ankles and I have numerous bruises all over my legs where my daft feet knock ten bells out of each other.

 

I still however want to go on this holiday with this company that advertises those beautiful breaks. (no pun intended;):cool:)

 

Should I insist on going on or would this be an adventure too far? Should I be saying what is good for the goose is good for the gander. Why can't this company to use your words....

 

Quote: '''Modify certain components""

 

I have no idea how severe your son's condition is and can only go by your description. I do know how bad my condition is and the above suggestion is never going to happen. This holiday will be our firsdt in 25 years as my condition has just improved enough to get the required clearances from the cruise line.

 

Next issue I've gone early, I've explained to the staff. The result was time to line up we end up on the back line being mushed the longest and between the touching, the looks, the talking, the smells he struggles and I usually ended up restraining him struggling to prevent him from hitting, kicking, and biting those around us. Result was I got yelled at for not following directions.

 

If your cruise company has accepted your booking then surely the ship has a responsibility of care and whilst I believe these drills have to be complied with, if theyare too traumatic, then surely someone should be saying enough is enough and perhaps this is not the best of ideas?? Are these drills for our benefit?

 

If we can't swim should we go swimming?

 

Again please try to accept I am NOT being clever, or sarcastic, I am hopefully asking a polite number of questions to better understand the points you are trying to make :o

 

Next question..

 

I am not having a go at you here but by going to these drills early are we not devaluing them and might I ask 'what are we achieving?' Is the drill to simply equate us with where we have to stand? If so why hold a drill? Why not simply tell folks to make themselves acquanted with that location?

 

I would like to think this is a drill to make sure the crew are competent at clearing the ship in a specific period of time and ensuring no one has been overlooked? If this is the case then by making exceptions, they have by default failed to meet this stipulation?

 

Again these are my thoughts and not me advocating policy... Are we passengers best off keeping our mouths firmly closed and solely complying with instructions giving to us by the crew? If issues do arise then of course we speak out and hopefully try to clarify any issue.

 

Before you jump down my throat I 100% accept things will be difficult for you but if the ship is forewarned, regarding your child's condition then is there a chance the ship might prepare a plan?? I am saying this as I have already had a nice letter from the Special Needs Office of our cruise line explaining what aids they have available for me and what else might I need during this cruise!!

 

When you go to your emergency station the crew might be aware you may need special aid, help or anything else to make this experience acceptable and with any luck they will do their best to make this as easy as is practicle.. BUT when that alarm sounds we surely must all have a duty to attend our station be it a drill or for real?

 

By making an exception and having a separate drill does the captain contravene the latest legislation that insists on this event happening prior to the ship sailing?

 

I am not picking on you and it must be distressing for you to endure this, but are you the person making the booking? If we do not carry out these drills are we asking for another fiasco similar to the Costa Concordia? I am NOT talking about the collision, I am talking about the lack of compliance shown by a significant number of passengers who on the many, many video clips I watched showed a complete lack of knowledge regarding what to do?

 

In their defence these passengers will understandably admit to have not attended their emergency drill, simply because the ship had sailed a few hours earlier and these drills were due to be done the following day:(:( As per my previous post.... Train hard, fight easy.... By being blaise about these drills there can be an extremely high price to pay and in the above example this incident occured just hours after the ship put to sea

 

Are these safety drills for our benefits, yours, mine and your son's? If the cruise company say you are exempt then whilst I accept that decision, I most certainly do not agree with it!!! Our children are the most valuable gift we will ever get and I take my duty of care as seriously as you and every other parent.

 

Me thinking aloud

If my child objected to a yellow life jacket then I would buy my very own child's yellow life jacket (to be kept at home) and then gently encourage them to wear it. This would be done in a nice, safe secure location at home where we can make a game of this issue and then hopefully when we board the ship they will not be so traumatised when they have to wear this 'plaything'. I might even have a 'Captain's' hat that my child would wear at home when we play this game and when we go to a ship's organised drill, I might think about bringing that hat with us and allowing my child to wear it?? Again this is me thinking aloud about my son and NOT anyone elese's child. I am just thinking that usually there is more than one way to skin a custard tart!! .

 

You are the expert regarding this condition and I am NOT trying to teach you to suck eggs. Is a cruise line giving separate drills failing in their duty of care, and are they are also letting you down!!!! I say this in a sympathetic manner and whilst I understand why it would be easier for all concerned to let you have a seperate drill....

 

If God forbid this were to happen for real, then all those around you are already in a high state of tension and having a child quote: scream at the top of their lungs, hit, bite, kick, or scratch those around you?

Is possibly not going to go down very well?

 

Are you then going to explain your child's condition? With the greatest of respect I can only begin to imagine how distressing this all will be with everyone around us in a high degree of stress and maybe panic!!, Whereas if you carry out this required drill with everyone present then at least they are aware of the situation and might hopefully be supportive towards you both?

 

Apologies for this long post but we are discussing something that may well be a life or death issue. I can understand why the crew might tell you off for laying on the floor with your child as it definitely puts you both at risk but surely this would be the ideal time to say... "What do you suggest"

 

If your child gets distressed by waiting in the queue then are there any other options and I don't mean making you exempt. This is me throwing ideas into the pot..

 

Would an option be to suggest you make an early entry into your specific lifeboat? Note this is a question and only offered as a brainstorming type suggestion to encourage folks to offer more constructive advice.. This is your child and what ideas do you have? Remember we are talking about an emergency situation where lives are at risk.

 

Is there a location where you could sit in the full knowledge you will not get trampled on? Somewhere with steel supports, bulkheads, pillars or posts.

 

Again I am politely asking and let's use me as the proverbial guinea pig..

 

I cannot stand unaided and even if I did have this aid, I would black out after 10 - 15 minutes. I am saying this solely to highlight that standing for me is not an option and no ammount of shouting is going to perform a surgical miracle and get me standing. What is good enough for me must be good enough for anyone else. If I have to lay down on the floor then why can't anyone else with a medical condition that demands this? Hopefully I will not be used as a doormat!!

 

I got the feeling that my reservations were considered at great length and it might easily have been refused. If it had, then this refusal would have been made in good faith and would have been something I would have accepted. In life do we sometimes just have to accept that we are all not going to become astronauts?

 

Finally.... whewwww

Some folks believe that autism is a horrible ailment that has awful consequences but this person who I am guessing you are familiar with suffered terribly from this condition and could not speak until she was three and a half. click She had those issues that you have discussed but it is also fair to suggest she was definitely not wrapped up in cotton wool. Her story definitely fetches a tear to the eye and if folks ever get the chance to watch the film about her life... It is really worth watching

 

As I said at the beginning of this long post.... If we get clearance from the cruise line regarding any type of medical condition, then to me, NO PASSENGER has the right to poke their oar in! If the cruise line does not need notification then they should!!! I say that in the nicest of ways as whilst we might know all there is to know about these conditions, we do not know enough about ship's husbandry.

 

Hopefully you are taking this post in the spirit it was wrote and if I have accidentally caused offence then that rests with my inability to put my thoughts into words that are tactful enough to deal with this issue.

 

Good luck with that seventh cruise?? (or sixth)

 

Regards

John

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Wow! I think that a couple of the posts above go far beyond answering the question originally posted.

 

The OP explained quite clearly that she did intend to attend a muster with her autistic child, and that she had already contacted Special Needs. However, as her child does not do well in crows and there have been problems in the past, she was seeking advice as to how to ensure that they could attend a muster for her child that would not repeat the previous problems.

 

Child with a disability. Conscientious mother, seeking information in order to mitigate a potential problem. End of story.

 

There was no need for anyone to infer that the OP intended to skip a muster or break any rules. And there was certainly no need to seek endless explanations of her.

 

Laronroy and glojo - go take you squabble elsewhere!

Edited by celle
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Wow! I think that a couple of the posts above go far beyond answering the question originally posted.

 

The OP explained quite clearly that she did intend to attend a muster with her autistic child, and that she had already contacted Special Needs. However, as her child does not do well in crows and there have been problems in the past, she was seeking advice as to how to ensure that they could attend a muster for her child that would not repeat the previous problems.

 

Child with a disability. Conscientious mother, seeking information in order to mitigate a potential problem. End of story.

 

There was no need for anyone to infer that the OP intended to skip a muster or break any rules. And there was certainly no need to seek endless explanations of her.

 

Laronroy and glojo - go take you squabble elsewhere!

 

Well said.

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