Can I please ask for all of us

[sarahuk]

Can one be considered "rude" if what they do is acceptable in their culture? Must an act be intentional for one to be considered "rude"? Is "rudeness" in the behavior, or in the perception of the behavior? I don't know how these questions would be answered based on some of the posts on this thread.

 

I completely agree with you. Of course we all see people who may appear rude and hey its not only the British!!! But it appears also that there are a lot of intolerant people on these boards. I certainly wouldn't waste my cruise time berating others as that can sometimes be rude as well and spoil the atmosphere for other people.

I remember once sitting near the back of the bus on a cruise tour. No one had sat in the front seat kept for people with disabilities. My husband had earlier on asked the tour leader if we could sit there if the seat remained empty as I am very hard of hearing and wear hearing aids and can never hear what the tour leader is saying as I cant hear over the general chatter.

Well the tour leader told us everyone was now on the bus and no one was using the seat so we could sit there. At the first stop two different couples interrogated us as to why we were allowed to sit there as we didn't look disabled!!!

They considered it rude that we should sit there as they had been at the front of the queue when we had all got on but they were not allowed to sit there.

I was really upset and would never sit at the front again even if it is empty as I don't like to draw attention to the fact I cant hear. True im fit and healthy but it wasn't taking the seat from someone with disabilities.

[Orator]

I completely agree with you. Of course we all see people who may appear rude and hey its not only the British!!! But it appears also that there are a lot of intolerant people on these boards. I certainly wouldn't waste my cruise time berating others as that can sometimes be rude as well and spoil the atmosphere for other people.

I remember once sitting near the back of the bus on a cruise tour. No one had sat in the front seat kept for people with disabilities. My husband had earlier on asked the tour leader if we could sit there if the seat remained empty as I am very hard of hearing and wear hearing aids and can never hear what the tour leader is saying as I cant hear over the general chatter.

Well the tour leader told us everyone was now on the bus and no one was using the seat so we could sit there. At the first stop two different couples interrogated us as to why we were allowed to sit there as we didn't look disabled!!!

They considered it rude that we should sit there as they had been at the front of the queue when we had all got on but they were not allowed to sit there.

I was really upset and would never sit at the front again even if it is empty as I don't like to draw attention to the fact I cant hear. True im fit and healthy but it wasn't taking the seat from someone with disabilities.

 

There was nothing rude or improper in your behavior. You acted as you should. In fact, if someone wants to run the risk of being asked to leave a seat, they most certainly can sit where they wish. If no one requires it, they remain. If someone needs it, they leave and take whatever is available. These should be the most serious problems anyone ever faces.

[lovey1103]

My beef is the bus loading process on shore excursions. Most want window seats and some will do anything for a front seat. Polite folks, which comprise the vast majority, lose out to the pushers and grabbers.

 

We have talked with the tour host(ess) and suggested the bus be loaded with the back of the queue getting first dibs, announcing that seats will be rotated at each stop so those in front will be last to reboard, and aisle sitters will get the window.

 

Usually works if the host(ess) takes the suggestion.

 

Did a 21 day land Grand European tour this way. Every day or 1/2 day we all rotated seats and it worked wonderfully.

My DH has tremendous difficulty walking, particularly in narrow spaces. We let the excursion desk know this ahead of time and usually a handicap seat is made available. Yes this is the front of the bus and yes we feel gulity when we see elderly folks walk by with a hitch or two in their "getty up". Would so rather give up our front row seat to have functional legs.

[lynbee]

We've recently returned from Equinox and didn't have any problems with people pushing in. Everyone was polite when entering/leaving lifts and showed courtesy to the elderly/disabled on board.

 

Very different to our one and only experience on MSC (which we will never repeat). No concept of waiting your turn from anyone on board - if you wanted to get out of the lift then you had to be ready and waiting to walk out as soon as the lift stopped or you'd be crushed in the rush to get in!

[Macadian]

I find rudness can be a cultural thing....in my Carribean cruising experience they have been Quebec'ers...just sayin like...:p

 

:cool:

[travelberlin]

I completely agree with you. Of course we all see people who may appear rude and hey its not only the British!!! But it appears also that there are a lot of intolerant people on these boards. I certainly wouldn't waste my cruise time berating others as that can sometimes be rude as well and spoil the atmosphere for other people.

I remember once sitting near the back of the bus on a cruise tour. No one had sat in the front seat kept for people with disabilities. My husband had earlier on asked the tour leader if we could sit there if the seat remained empty as I am very hard of hearing and wear hearing aids and can never hear what the tour leader is saying as I cant hear over the general chatter.

Well the tour leader told us everyone was now on the bus and no one was using the seat so we could sit there. At the first stop two different couples interrogated us as to why we were allowed to sit there as we didn't look disabled!!!

They considered it rude that we should sit there as they had been at the front of the queue when we had all got on but they were not allowed to sit there.

I was really upset and would never sit at the front again even if it is empty as I don't like to draw attention to the fact I cant hear. True im fit and healthy but it wasn't taking the seat from someone with disabilities.

Interesting. This reminds me of how many times I have been the first ot the queue for some excursion and I would not be allowed to sit in the front rows because those were reserved for people with dissabilities. Sometimes the dissability meant very overweighed people who came at the last minute and took it for granted they would have free places in the front row. I am extremely hard of hearing and to sit at one of those places is important to me altough I do not have a walking dissability. Any advise on how to make my dissability count although I do not look fragile or have a walking dissability?

[ginnyks]

We have had our share of "rude" fellow cruisers on the various lines including X, . After a few cruises under our belt, we find the worst offenders on the elevators are before the MDR opens for dinner, and the stampede immediately following the evening show. To try to avoid some of the congestion we stroll down the deck mid ship away from the theatre. I don't have problems with wheelchairs (usually) but many people on the scooters tend not realize how much space they really require. 3 years ago, one pushed onto the elevator along with her walking husband after the evening show, guess who had to jump away from her wheels and onto part of her scooter..not her DH who had insisted that there was enough room...I wish that I had brought along my crutches from a recent foot surgery,,then again they would have probably put me in the brig;) .

[Tony UK]

Ginny - glad you raised one point I was trying to make. I had a major abdominal operation and my daughter has a range of disabilities including learning disabilities. Not obvious looking at us, but if we are badly knocked it could lead to health problems.

All I am asking is that people behave with due consideration for others perhaps anticipating that in the crowd, elevator, line, there will of course be others with health issues. This applies to for those with disabilities too - dont expect that to give you any priority.

 

Remember you are on a cruise ship, not on the metro / underground, not in the office, not in a city. People come from all over the world with different standards so your rules dont apply!!

Please everyone, just take your time, be happy and enjoy your cruise!!

[Lastdance]

As you read, no one has a complete cure all, because there isn't one! I used to teach a course called Contemporary World Cultures. Yes, the people who have traveled all over know that cultures have their own rules and mores. I find it very interesting to understand where these came from and how long ago they became the norm. Never let it ruin your vacation. Be happy your parents taught you manners, and don't apologize unless it's your fault. Be who you are and get to know others. It is always amazing what you can learn. Traveling is such an education!:cool:

[Member123]

Interesting. This reminds me of how many times I have been the first ot the queue for some excursion and I would not be allowed to sit in the front rows because those were reserved for people with dissabilities. Sometimes the dissability meant very overweighed people who came at the last minute and took it for granted they would have free places in the front row. I am extremely hard of hearing and to sit at one of those places is important to me altough I do not have a walking dissability. Any advise on how to make my dissability count although I do not look fragile or have a walking dissability?

 

Your thoughtful post made me feel sad.

 

My belief is that you should simply board the bus and let the driver/guide know that you appreciate the courtesy afforded you by occupying the handicapped seats. They are there for a reason! Whether that is due to limited mobility, or to limited hearing, or limited sight, or... whatever places a person (human being) in the position of having a situation that others (thankfully) don't have to overcome. If someone else boards who, in your opinion, may have a more severe disability than your own, then you would be in a situation where you might (and I do mean "might") feel that you could graciously vacate the seat for another. But, that would be entirely at your discretion.

 

It's just not right that you would pass those seats and that an individual would occupy them just because they're vacate and in a better position on the bus.

 

In my opinion, if you would be questioned by anyone (and I would consider them to be extremely rude), my response to them would be to simply say that not all disabilities can be determined by observation.

 

Good grief. You know, I was recovering from surgery once and had a "temporary" disability, so I know just a small amount of the frustration that you feel. I think you just have to be assertive.

 

Maybe we should all watch episodes of Downton Abbey before we cruise? Revisit a time when manners reigned supreme upon the land? Practice our genteel decorum? Perhaps?

[SeagoingMom]

Interesting. This reminds me of how many times I have been the first ot the queue for some excursion and I would not be allowed to sit in the front rows because those were reserved for people with dissabilities. Sometimes the dissability meant very overweighed people who came at the last minute and took it for granted they would have free places in the front row. I am extremely hard of hearing and to sit at one of those places is important to me altough I do not have a walking dissability. Any advise on how to make my dissability count although I do not look fragile or have a walking dissability?

It sounds like an episode of "Disabilities Wars." :o

 

You yourself said you are disabled, so why would you allow yourself to be told that the seats reserved for the disabled are off-limits for you? Who was it that told you this, and did you respond to their prohibition by telling them about your disability? If your hearing problem requires you to sit in the front seats because if you do not, you cannot hear the tour guide, then no one can tell you that you are disallowed from sitting in seats reserved for the disabled.

 

On the other hand, if if there is a PA system which broadcasts the tour guide's words throughout the bus, or if the bus is simply a means of transportation to an excursion location (not a guided tour), then I would say that for the purposes of the bus ride, you are not disabled and should relinquish the seat to a physically disabled person.

 

On cruise excursions, it seems to me that those needing a seat in or near the front should let this be known ahead of time to the cruise line and the tour guide, if possible, and the tour guide should know exactly how many people with disabilities he/she needs to accommodate, and reserve seats according to their needs. However, if there is a large number of disabled, not everyone can have the front seats -- some may be have to sit in the second or third rows as well.

 

I sympathize with your situation. I have a very good friend who is visually impaired, and gets no respect nor consideration for her disability unless she carries her white cane. Then everybody falls over themselves to accommodate her. Barring your hanging a "disabled" placard around your neck, I am afraid you may have to take your situation into your own hands, be bold, and "stand up" (or in this case, sit down :rolleyes:) for your disability.