Carnival and the space/time continuum

[ChuckLL]

First a little back story…

 

It had been awhile since my wife and I had a real vacation. Anytime we did try to take a few days off, someone, either a family member or client, was always able to find me. I was going through a stressful time back in July or August of last year. My wife and I took some time off and had it ruined by constant phone calls. After much I thought, it dawned on me that folks would probably have a hard time finding me on a cruise ship. With that in mind, I discussed it with my wife, and we decided to book a cruise on the Celebration in October 2004 as it was only about an hour drive from home. On the first night my wife (who had always said she would never get on a ship or a plane) got very seasick. By the second night she was asking when we could go cruising again.

 

As December rolled around I had a bit of a health scare. It had the possibility of being serious which caused a bit of self searching. The Mayans had always intrigued me, and one thing that I had always wanted to do was visit some Mayan ruins. I figured I better do it while I was able so we booked the Inspiration out of Tampa in January and visited Tulum.

 

Although the health problems thankfully turned out to be nothing (atleast it appears), work once more started getting stressful and hectic so we again took a few days off. As usual, people found us. By the third day of our supposed "vacation" I had had enough. My wife agreed and ordered me to book a cruise. We are booked in our first balcony cabin on the Miracle on September 18.

 

Now the rest of the story…

 

I booked our September cruise early this month (July). The very next day I began noticing a strange change: time seemed to slow to a crawl. I would visit Carnival’s website and it would say 59 days until your cruise. What seemed like a week would pass, but when the website was next checked it would only say 58 days until your cruise. ONLY A DAY HAD PASSED?

 

It was then that I began to realize that Carnival (and perhaps the entire cruise industry) had discovered some way to manipulate the space/time continuum. With this newly found knowledge I decided to try an experiment. I took an old analog clock and held it to my ear. I heard the expected "tick-tock, tick-tock"; however, based upon how slowly our sail date was approaching I should have heard “t i c k..............t o c k..........t i c k..........t o c k". This leads me to believe that whatever type of device that Carnival uses to manipulate time must somehow affect items within a certain radius of the cruiser. This effect causes the illusion of time actually being “normal”.

 

So, I asked myself, if Carnival has this type of secret technology, what other type of technology do they have? As I pondered this question, my mind drifted back to our previous two cruises. On both, any time we would leave the cabin, we would return to find it clean and tidy. It really didn’t seem to matter what time of day OR how long we were gone. Granted, on both cruises there was a nice, polite individual who CLAIMED to be our room steward; however, other than a couple of times in the hall, we never saw this alleged “room steward”. So how does the room get cleaned? Does Carnival have some sort of secret technology that cleans the room and only uses the “room stewards” as cover? If it is indeed the room stewards who clean the room, how is it that they are so efficient, yet elusive? Does Carnival have some sort of sensors in the rooms that let the “power that be” know when you step out? Do they have some sort of teleportation technology that teleports the room steward directly to the room?

 

The more I think about it, our Inspiration cruise (our second cruise) was NOT nearly as good as our first cruise; however, even the worst day on the Inspiration was MUCH better than the best day on land. How can this be? Also, at home we are pretty frugal with our money, yet on the cruise all that seems to be forgotten. At the drop of a hat we whip out that Sail and Sign card like an old west gunslinger drawing his gun in an old time gunfight. Once again, how can this be? Does Carnival have some sort of secret device that affects a person’s brain waves OR possibly even brainwashes them to some degree?

 

As I sit here now looking at the message “50 Days Until Your Cruise!” , I have to wonder if Carnival really is a cruise line OR if it is some sort of scientific corporation that develops new technologies and uses “cruise passengers” as guinea pigs. We when board the ship are we REALLY boarding a ship? Or are we entering some sort of advanced Star Trek like holodeck type thing? Or could it just be that the wait is starting to get to me and I’m imagining things?

[happy cruzin]

Too funny!! I'm with 'ya...but my clock says 189 days!!! :eek:

[serene56]

LOL-- great story- but at least the clock does move.. Mine seems to stay the same no matter what. Ijust go back in and book another cruise.

[sallyb]

I wish that Carnival would continue to do the time warp thing while you are on the cruise. It seems like you just stepped on the ship and now they want you to go home already! :confused:

[corina27]

If we are guinea pigs what are we being used for?:eek: :D

[voyagerfl]

I Think The Stress Of Life Has Got To You.....!

Only Cruise Addiction Can Cause Such Powerful Images (Hallucinations ?)To Enter Your Mind.

And You must be a big "TREK" fan.....LoL

 

:D:D 92 days here !

[ChuckLL]

I wish that Carnival would continue to do the time warp thing while you are on the cruise. It seems like you just stepped on the ship and now they want you to go home already! :confused:

 

Hmmm. I hadn't even thought of that, but they do indeed seem to reverse their little time warp thingy when you step on the ship.

 

Yet another thing to contemplate.

[joepeka]

I think Santa Claus has the same type technology for Christmas: it seems to take forever to get here and when it does, it's over in blink - just like our cruises!

[Love PalmTrees]

Maybe Carnival has discovered the Fountain of Youth. If time goes slower while awaiting the cruise, does this mean you also age slower???? This means booking way in advance will actually be advantageous to your health. Well, as far as I'm concerned going on a cruise is always advantageous to one's health.:D We booked way in advance this time and it's so much fun to dream and plan!!!:)

[Fern Crest]

I Think The Stress Of Life Has Got To You.....!

Only Cruise Addiction Can Cause Such Powerful Images (Hallucinations ?)To Enter Your Mind.

And You must be a big "TREK" fan.....LoL

 

:D:D 92 days here !

 

Hey, hey ... easy on the supposed sanity of a Star Trek fan ...

::*so* doesn't have all the autographs, movies, series episodes on DVD and the Hallmark ornaments::

Honestly, if there were actual holodecks, there'd be no one on the streets!

It's real, I tell you! All real!

Ah, Scotty, we hardly knew ye, laddie.

>My clock says TWO DAYS!!!!!!!<

[Terri102066]

..... Or could it just be that the wait is starting to get to me and I’m imagining things?

 

Without a doubt!

 

One thing is for sure. If I see a goofy looking dude on his phone asking, "Can you hear me now?", anywhere near my ship we will get to see if he can ask that question while submerged.;)

 

Jim (Hubby of Terri)

[ChuckLL]

Hey, hey ... easy on the supposed sanity of a Star Trek fan ...

 

I admit that I used to be a bit of a Star Trek fan, but I really don't mind anyone questioning my sanity. I'm perfectly sane.

 

I mean, if I were not sane the voices in my head would tell me. Right?

 

Wait just a second.....whew, I thought for a minute there that the voices WERE going to tell that I'm NOT sane, but they were just kidding around. These voices sure are some jokesters.

[sallyb]

Don't worry, it's just that mind meld thing that Spock used to do...talk about stress! He could have used a cruise after one of those.

[hstrybuf]

Very funny Chuck! :D I've noticed this happening before every cruise. And the reverse at the end of a cruise. I dunno who's cleaning those cabins. Maybe Smurfs? ;)