Sitting with strangers in the MDR

[sapper1]

We enjoyed fixed dining at large tables for a great many cruises and were blessed with very interesting and congenial table mates. Then, after a few not so great experiences, we decided to try anytime dining.

 

Anytime dining made every night seem like first night and was a random mix of good and bad nights. After two cruises in anytime, we decided to try something different.

 

For our upcoming fourteen day cruise, we have late fixed at a large table. However, I have booked us into specialty restaurants for seven of the nights. If we have a compatable mix in the MDR for the remaining nights that will be fine. If we don't there is always the Lido or a few more nights in one of the specialty restaurants.

[cadien]

Why is it that people who do not like traditional assigned dining generally seem to assume that those who do are trying to make friends, or like to be regimented?

 

So many MTD fans refer to those suppositions: focussing on the negative aspect of the others' --- seemingly unable to understand that many of us simply like interacting with other people with no friend-seking involved. I would not suggest that people who do not like sharing tables are either anti-social or afraid of meeting new people.

 

I would like to propose that (if this discussion continues) advocates of either dining format stick to what they like about their preference and avoid derogatory references to the personal attitudes of those with a different preference.

 

I don't have a preference. But the problems is that the nature of messageboards does make it sound like many of the traditional dining fans ARE accusing the open seating fans of being anti-social etc. They think they're being neutral and the other side is being derogatory but the reverse is also true. Saying you like traditional because you are open to new experiences, for example. That's easily seen as a dig.

[Bonnie J.]

Isn't every one on the cruise strangers? Don't you talk to each other in places other than the dining room? We DO NOT WANT TO SIT ALONE! We eat dinner every night by ourselves now that our sons are gone so we like meeting people and have made friends we see off the ship!

We have had few times where we have had our table changed, no problem doing that if 1st night people aren't compatible.

[Husky61]

I don't se why this thread is still going. Many people like to share a table while others don't. Neither is wrong or right, it is a personal preference.:)

[navybankerteacher]

I don't have a preference. But the problems is that the nature of messageboards does make it sound like many of the traditional dining fans ARE accusing the open seating fans of being anti-social etc. They think they're being neutral and the other side is being derogatory but the reverse is also true. Saying you like traditional because you are open to new experiences, for example. That's easily seen as a dig.

 

How is my saying that I like traditional dining, because (among other reasons) I am open to new experiences, a dig?

 

I do like meeting people I have never met before, and I have found that most people with whom I share a large table in a cruise ship MDR are compatible dinner partners: from different backgrounds, different states, sometimes different countries, with different stories to tell: we have in common that preference at least - and to the extent we have differences, I can learn from them as well.

 

If someone prefers dining only with their partner and are able to do so, I am happy for them. They and I are both happy to not be sharing a table.

 

It helps to remember that this thread was started by someone who hoped MDR's would be done away with - responding to that post is why many of us got involved in the first place: it might even be seen as an exchange of ideas as might take place at a shared table.

[slidergirl]

navybanker: you apparently missed the winky face at the end of the "regimented" comment…

I had a big posting that I did for this last night - apparently it went away somehow.

 

On my part, I was not denigrating Traditional Dining. It's just not me. There were three big reasons for me to not cruise when it was only traditional dining: 1) I did not like the two choices of time - early was too early and late was too late, 2)I did not want to have to sit with people I had no desire to interact with on a nightly basis because of the ship's roll of the dice for my dining companions, and 3)I have to make daily small talk with guests and I take my vacations to get away from that.

 

Early time wasn't right for me. If I was out and about in port (I don't do ship excursions or tours), I did not want my time cut short because I had to get back to the ship in time to get ready for dinner. Late wasn't good for me because my physician does not want me eating a full dinner later than 7pm. Even if my MD had not drummed that into my head, I am not the kind of person to grab a snack to get me through to 8:30pm because I had lunch at noon or so. So, if I took a cruise that only had traditional, I was relegated to the buffet or room service most of the time for my dinner. With the new options of dining when I wanted to in places other than the buffet for dinner, it allows me to cruise the way I want to - to stay in port as long as I want, come back, get ready at a leisurely pace, go to a sit-down dinner, and enjoy my evening as I want.

 

I spend 8 hours a day at my hotel, chit chatting with my guests. I have to "play a role" with specific guidelines every day in order for our hotel to maintain it's Forbes rating. When I go on vacation, it's my time to relax and refresh. I don't isolate myself, but I just want to be able to have a meal at the end of my day without having to do more chit chat. If I'm at a table, I would feel really awkward if I had to tell the others at the table that I would prefer to not to converse with them because I just want to have my dinner. I'm sure many would take that as an insult and I'd rather just avoid that. With the option to join a table if I want on any particular evening because I want company or get my solo table most of the time, I'm good.

 

I believe that cruise lines and their ships must evolve to keep enticing new people to cruise. If they don't, they will die just like the family vacation camps of the good old days (think Dirty Dancing). Ships that have space for multiple dining venues will certainly be able to offer one room that is the vintage fixed-time, fixed-table dining. But, OPTIONS are what I want and I will continue to use ships that offer me those options.

[navybankerteacher]

navybanker: you apparently missed the winky face at the end of the "regimented" comment…

 

I believe that cruise lines and their ships must evolve to keep enticing new people to cruise. If they don't, they will die just like the family vacation camps of the good old days (think Dirty Dancing). Ships that have space for multiple dining venues will certainly be able to offer one room that is the vintage fixed-time, fixed-table dining. But, OPTIONS are what I want and I will continue to use ships that offer me those options.

 

Even a "winky face" shot is still a shot.

 

In any event, the vast majority of US oriented mass market cruise ships have evolved: NCL, Carnival, Celebrity, HAL, Royal Caribbean, and Princess all have MTD (NCL has nothing but) - I think only Disney and Cunard, and the more strongly European-oriented lines (P&O, MSC, Fred Olsen, etc.) have not. The "OPTIONS" which you want are certainly readily available.

 

Of course, for some, not every aspect of recent evolution is met with universal acclaim: the passing of generally observed formal nights is mourned by many(although not particularly by me).

[cbr663]

Does anyone else have a problem with that? Every time we walk on a cruise ship the first thing my husband and I do is hunt down the maître D and request a table for 2. I have noticed throughout the cruise the tables near me begin to have missing people and I have often wondered if they didn't like their tablemates and began eating up on the Lido deck.

 

What happens if you don't like your tablemates and request another table? Then you have to hope you don't bump into them on the ship because that would be awkward.

 

This is one thing about cruising I think needs to be changed. Am I the only one who feels this way?

 

At this point, it might be interesting for some posters to read what the OP actually posted. The OP did not state that they wanted traditional dining eliminated. The OP stated that they liked to request a table for 2 in the MDR. They felt that it would be socially awkward for them to request another table and then meet their table mates later in the cruise. They felt that this needed to be changed - that is, dining with strangers.

 

For stating this, the OP has been accused of having a phobia around strangers, being the problem, having a questionable fear of dining with others, of an issue of family status, and of being self obsessed for wanting traditional dining done away with, which the OP did not state.

 

Many suggested that the OP go elsewhere, such as anytime dining (which does not always guarantee a 2-top), or to avail of the Lido, specialty restaurants and room service, all of which only denies the OP of the MDR experience.

 

Interesting responses. A simple yes, it may be awkward to meet these table mates later and I wish that the cruise lines had more 2 top tables in the MDR could solve the problem.

[iltutcruiser]

I agree, I do not like to be seated with 10 other people or any for that matter. I just sent a request to dining at RCI and asked for a table for 4. My sister does not hear well and I don't like having to explain to everyone why she does not engage in conversation. It's just easier to request a small seating arrangement to begin with.

[ChiefLnc7]

My wife and I had this problem on a cruise we took to Alaska. There were supposed to be three other couples, but one did not make it, one of the husbands had very strict dietary needs/eating at specific time, etc. They were all friends and did not speak to my wife and I during the initial meal. We approached our waiter and requested that we be moved to another table.

 

They were good enough to do so, but directly across the aisle from our original table, so we kept a close eye on the table and explained to our new table mates the problem. Good thing was that they did not show up. And an even better thing to come out of the change, we had a great experience with our new table mates. One couple was from England (he was retired military officer) and the other couple were from the United States. Great people, great time and lots of laughs.

 

But now with open dining and free style dining, you might sit with others, and you might not see them again.

 

I go more to the free style dining.

[LeeRB]

I didn't realize that!

 

I also do have a question about ATD (we were last on RC, Allure of the Seas) and we seemed to be seated with the same server even though we showed up at different times of the evening. Was that because of room number? Were we 'technically' assigned to a server even though we came at any time? Because ours wasn't very friendly. I miss getting to know and getting known by the same people in the dining room.

 

I have only done ATD/MTD on one Royal Caribbean ship so far but I experienced the same thing (exact same table and waiter every night) and I also noticed that the girl at the podium seemed a little upset if I didn't always show up at the same time every night. It is almost like my ATD had been changed to a set time dining after the first night, by her. I have been on several Carnival ships that I did ATD and did not had that experience on Carnival with either getting the same waiter (unless I requested that waiter) or the people at podium being unhappy if I didn't show up at the same time every night. I don't think it has anything to do with your cabin number. It may be because he wasn't friendly and no one wanted to set in his area. I am booked out on another RCCL ship in Feb 15 and will see if the same thing happens on that ship. If it does I will make it a point to ask why. I have noticed that even with ATD/MTD I kept seeing the same people in the MDR every night even on Carnival.

Edited October 27, 2014 by LeeRB

[RJ2002]

We have been happy as clams since open seating / anytime dining has been introduced. We do enjoy having dinner occasionally with folks we meet onboard, such as at the CC M&G or on excursions, but our days of being seated at a table of complete strangers is thankfully over. :)

[Winnie Witch]

We are very sociable! We talk with folks while waiting in line, while sitting on deck, while sitting at the buffet, everywhere on ship!

Dinner is a time for us to connect with each other and perhaps to chat further with folks we have met in other areas of the ship. We do not enjoy sitting down to dinner at a large table of strangers where you try to get to know them and also need to wait for all your orders to be taken.

Those sorts of meals are totally unpleasant for us!

Nowadays we only do YTD so we can get a table for 2 OR a table for 4 if we meet other interesting folks. We find that any larger table doesn't really allow for good conversation.

 

 

This exactly how me and DH feel. We have tried large tables and tables for 2.. And we much prefer just the 2 of us. On our last cruise we requested a table for 2 but got put on an 8. Maybe its me getting older or maybe its my 'time of life' but I found it irritating to try and enjoy my meal and have a conversation at the same time. It wasn't a relaxed dining experience, it was downright tiring and in all the cruises I have taken its the first time I have felt this way.

Im very happy to chat to people in the lifts, bar , deck or anywhere else,,but its a table for 2 from now on and looking forward to Brittania in August 2015

[GUT2407]

I don't se why this thread is still going. Many people like to share a table while others don't. Neither is wrong or right, it is a personal preference.:)

 

 

But doesn't that apply to about 80% of threads on CC, tipping, formal nights, seating, and on and on and on.

 

Or a question asked, answered and then 300 others all have to have a say.

[Krazy Kruizers]

When we first started cruising many, many years ago, we did luck out in having wonderful tablemates for the majority of our cruises.

Then as the years passed, we weren't so lucky. Had the tablemates that kept bragging about how many cruises they were, monopolized the conversations, 1 man kept falling asleep, another woman would take a bite of food, set down her fork and just talk for 10 minutes before she took another bite -- 3+ hours for dinners causing us to miss all the shows. We did ask to be moved to another table -- sometimes our wish was granted.

So now we just ask for a table for 2 when we book our cruises.

[DirtyDawg]

What I find interesting is that the two largest threads (on page one) in the 'Ask a Cruise Question' forum are Sitting with Strangers in the MDR and Cruising and Ebola. Hmmmm... Strangers.....Ebola?;)

 

As for the OP's original question. Yes it looks like there are lots of people like you who do not enjoy dinning with strangers. But there are a lot who do. So pick a cruise line that offers the option you want. And if your favorite cruise line does not offer it either change cruise lines or somehow get them to change their policy.

Edited October 28, 2014 by DirtyDawg

[misty57]

I have only done ATD/MTD on one Royal Caribbean ship so far but I experienced the same thing (exact same table and waiter every night) and I also noticed that the girl at the podium seemed a little upset if I didn't always show up at the same time every night. It is almost like my ATD had been changed to a set time dining after the first night, by her. I have been on several Carnival ships that I did ATD and did not had that experience on Carnival with either getting the same waiter (unless I requested that waiter) or the people at podium being unhappy if I didn't show up at the same time every night. I don't think it has anything to do with your cabin number. It may be because he wasn't friendly and no one wanted to set in his area. I am booked out on another RCCL ship in Feb 15 and will see if the same thing happens on that ship. If it does I will make it a point to ask why. I have noticed that even with ATD/MTD I kept seeing the same people in the MDR every night even on Carnival.

 

We noticed the same thing. On our recent Alaskan cruise we chose MTD for the first time and the lady at the podium tried to put us in the same spot with the same wait staff. We had late excursions so we were didn't make reservations for those nights. They were able to accommodate us but were trying to put us in the same place on those nights too. I think it has more to do with the wait staff than the passenger preferences. We much prefer the alone dining. Its less stressful which is what we are after on vacation.:)

[Sailor_Sally]

We had always enjoyed large tables with strangers but sharing a four top with strangers is uncomfortable so rather than chance it we do my time dining at a table for two .

[Husky61]

But doesn't that apply to about 80% of threads on CC, tipping, formal nights, seating, and on and on and on.

 

Or a question asked, answered and then 300 others all have to have a say.

 

Well said. I have seen a question asked, and the same answer posted by numerous people.:)

[WaveSplasher]

I have only sat with different tablemates before, except it was on Amtrak. And it was a lot of fun. We talked about many things, share a laugh and gather insights, tips on the place. So a good experience after all.

 

However, I would presume the experience will be the same, this on a larger scale. And I will be looking forward next year when I take my first cruise out to the Caribbean.

 

Seeing the posts, I think i might opt for alternate days. One day with tablemates and the other day with just the 2 of us. This will no doubt allow us to socialize with other people, but also have some time together.

 

However I don't know whether Carnival/ Royal Caribbean will accommodate our request.

[Warm Breezes]

This is why we prefer anytime dining....

[Bonnie J.]

when you sign for traditional dining you are assigned to the same table every night with the same people 7 same waiter, etc. you can't change tables.

[navybankerteacher]

when you sign for traditional dining you are assigned to the same table every night with the same people 7 same waiter, etc. you can't change tables.

 

Unless, of course, you think to ask the maître d'/dining room manager.

[slidergirl]

Unless, of course, you think to ask the maître d'/dining room manager.

And, if there is no table to change to, relegate yourself to the buffet or a specialty-extra-fee dining venue...;)

[LeeRB]

We noticed the same thing. On our recent Alaskan cruise we chose MTD for the first time and the lady at the podium tried to put us in the same spot with the same wait staff. We had late excursions so we were didn't make reservations for those nights. They were able to accommodate us but were trying to put us in the same place on those nights too. I think it has more to do with the wait staff than the passenger preferences. We much prefer the alone dining. Its less stressful which is what we are after on vacation.:)

 

In my case, one of the reasons I didn't say too much about what appeared to be going on was at the time was I happened to be at the R-Bar on the 3rd night was enjoying a Basil Hayden over ice thinking about going to dinner, when the single mingle group showed up and a 70-75+ 'cougar' saw me at the end of the bar by myself and moved in (I am in the 60+ group and have been sailing solo, not single, since 2013 when I lost my co-pilot to cancer). I was able to honestly say that I had dinner reservations in about 10-15 minutes and had to leave soon. Since I still wear a wedding ring, I think she assumed I was meeting my wife for dinner, we talked for a few minutes, and I was able to leave, and go to dinner, without anyone’s feelings being hurt. I ran into her again the next day and we had a brief, friendly, conversation before going our separate ways.