jules815 Posted March 15, 2015 #1 Share Posted March 15, 2015 Just off of Liberty, a wonderful spring break cruise with my daughter and her very best friend since 3rd grade. Because we were sharing a room, he went up to the gym area to take his shower on the first night, to free up the bathroom for us getting ready. Our cruise was FULL of college kids. So he was up there, had just showered and was getting ready to leave, already dressed. Some young men, same age as him, came in and asked him how the sauna was. He replied that he "hadn't used the sauna." At that point, they repeated what he had said..."oh you didn't use the sauna??" mocking him in a lispy tone. When he told me about what had happened, it bothered me, but he just wanted me to let it go. At no point was he threatened or did they get physical, they were just being jerks. Still, NOT okay with me. He was my guest and not okay for him to be uncomfortable going up there to use the facilities. I went down to guest services and told them what had happened. At that point security was involved, and they were absolutely not okay with what had happened. I explained that at no time had he been threatened, that it was more teasing, but in my opinion, that's just not okay ever. I explained I just wanted them to be aware of the incident, just in case something else happened. I honestly think if I'd pursued a more formal complaint, the two young men would have been thrown off the ship. That's how seriously they took it. I was also contacted daily by security to check on how things were going. They were very concerned for his well being. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan13 Posted March 15, 2015 #2 Share Posted March 15, 2015 Jules, thank you for speaking up! Alan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micmacmissy Posted March 15, 2015 #3 Share Posted March 15, 2015 Interesting. I'm glad they took it seriously. Because a few years ago on Indy, we learned the hard way that RCCL has no system in place for passengers to report a crime. We were the victims of a theft on Labadee and RCCL did nothing to help us...they didn't even have an "incident report" that we could have filled out. It was really off putting, and left us wondering how they handle more serious incidents! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kezz Posted March 15, 2015 #4 Share Posted March 15, 2015 So, I presume the lad, friend of your daughter, is gay? Some guys asked how the sauna was. and in a "gay Tone" (I presume that is what lispy tone is) You reported to security. Unless you didn't explain well. You wanted security to kick someone off a ship because the way they spoke to someone. Please tell me this lad is wrapped in bubble wrap. please. I should imagine he just wanted you to ignore it. that's life. Life is fun and cruel. But if someone jumps in to protect everything you do, what is living. Soz rant over, had a lot worse when I was young and am still here now enjoying life. Kezz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jules815 Posted March 15, 2015 Author #5 Share Posted March 15, 2015 So, I presume the lad, friend of your daughter, is gay? Some guys asked how the sauna was. and in a "gay Tone" (I presume that is what lispy tone is) You reported to security. Unless you didn't explain well. You wanted security to kick someone off a ship because the way they spoke to someone. Please tell me this lad is wrapped in bubble wrap. please. I should imagine he just wanted you to ignore it. that's life. Life is fun and cruel. But if someone jumps in to protect everything you do, what is living. Soz rant over, had a lot worse when I was young and am still here now enjoying life. Kezz Of course he's gay. And of course he's not bubble wrapped. He didn't want me to report it, and I didn't want anyone thrown off the ship. I just wanted them made aware of the incident in case something else happened, and believe me, they took it VERY seriously. Would it have been "fun and cruel" if he had been African, or say, Asian American, and mocked in the locker room? Just a couple of drunken frat boys having a little fun?? It's never okay to speak to anyone like that, EVER. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yorkvillain Posted March 15, 2015 #6 Share Posted March 15, 2015 This thread is not going to end well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert64 Posted March 15, 2015 #7 Share Posted March 15, 2015 Of course he's gay. And of course he's not bubble wrapped. He didn't want me to report it, and I didn't want anyone thrown off the ship. I just wanted them made aware of the incident in case something else happened, and believe me, they took it VERY seriously. Would it have been "fun and cruel" if he had been African, or say, Asian American, and mocked in the locker room? Just a couple of drunken frat boys having a little fun?? It's never okay to speak to anyone like that, EVER. Couldn't agree more. I'm glad you said something. Who knows, maybe they would've stepped up their mocking to something more aggressive when they came across another person. I'm glad to hear RCI took this seriously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spookwife Posted March 15, 2015 #8 Share Posted March 15, 2015 the only person with a right to be offended was your daughter's friend. and I am sorry but unless YOU WERE THERE and heard exactly what was said and how it was said, you have ZERO credibility here, nor did you have ANY right to escalate the incident. he wanted it dropped IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN DROPPED. unless the man was threatened with harm, there was zero reason, need or right to go any further. in fact I am not even sure how you expected security to get involved? track the other 2 down and give them a stern talking to?! without any sold proof of the incident( unless it was caught on a camera with sound?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackshirt Posted March 15, 2015 #9 Share Posted March 15, 2015 What exactly is "anti-gay discrimination"? Shouldn't the title of the thread be "RCI takes gay discrimination seriously"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jules815 Posted March 15, 2015 Author #10 Share Posted March 15, 2015 What exactly is "anti-gay discrimination"? Shouldn't the title of the thread be "RCI takes gay discrimination seriously"? You are correct! My bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babyher Posted March 15, 2015 #11 Share Posted March 15, 2015 Of course he's gay. And of course he's not bubble wrapped. He didn't want me to report it, and I didn't want anyone thrown off the ship. I just wanted them made aware of the incident in case something else happened, and believe me, they took it VERY seriously. Would it have been "fun and cruel" if he had been African, or say, Asian American, and mocked in the locker room? Just a couple of drunken frat boys having a little fun?? It's never okay to speak to anyone like that, EVER. I grew up at a time when ethnic jokes were the big thing. "How does an Italian tie his shoe?" "Did you hear about the Irishman who went on his honeymoon?" "A Priest, a Rabbi, a one legged jockey, and a Playboy Bunny are stranded on a desert island." Not just in the play ground or bar room , but right on good old network television. There were beloved entertainers who made long lucrative careers out of a "lispy" tone. Someone told me a derogatory joke or remark about being Italian, I shot one back about their nationality. People didn't take things so seriously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kezz Posted March 15, 2015 #12 Share Posted March 15, 2015 This thread is not going to end well. My thoughts as well. eke! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kezz Posted March 15, 2015 #13 Share Posted March 15, 2015 (edited) I'm sorry, I can't mix words. I'm Gay, I'm half cast. Wow (not the bad) the jokes and pokes that came my way. Sorry, but if the world went this way, the you have acted on this lads behalf. Then the WHOLE world has gone to pot. We have enough fighting and wars over nothing. And here we are! nothing has happened. you take offence. You report it. You are happy someone is doing something about it. For What? I'm 50yo. Still here. No scars, I now have a sharp tongue should anyone say anything. You have embarrassed this lad, your Daughters best friend. By doing what he didn't want. And making him look weak in front of your daughter. Poor lad. Life is life. It gives it takes. Get on with it. You don't have a second chance. Kezz Pint n chillin out now. Sorry, but makes me mad when I hear things like this. Let the shoot down begin. Ouch!! Edited March 15, 2015 by kezz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsrtfox1942 Posted March 15, 2015 #14 Share Posted March 15, 2015 I was picked on relentlessly in elementary school for being over weight. My grandmother decided to take a stand and burst into my classroom and scolded the other children in my class... Did not end well for me. The only thing that ended the teasing was when I snapped one day after being put in a choke hold by a classmate and punched him breaking his nose. They stopped and I finally learned to stand up for myself. People have to stand on their own two feet. I understand your wanting to help him, but he is a man now and should stand up for himself. I wouldn't have reacted well to finding out what you had done after my request not to. Just my two cents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caribbean sailor Posted March 15, 2015 #15 Share Posted March 15, 2015 I'm sorry, I can't mix words. I'm Gay, I'm half cast. Wow (not the bad) the jokes and pokes that came my way. Sorry, but if the world went this way, the you have acted on this lads behalf. Then the WHOLE world has gone to pot. We have enough fighting and wars over nothing. And here we are! nothing has happened. you take offence. You report it. You are happy someone is doing something about it. For What? I'm 50yo. Still here. No scars, I now have a sharp tongue should anyone say anything. You have embarrassed this lad, your Daughters best friend. By doing what he didn't want. And making him look weak in front of your daughter. Poor lad. Life is life. It gives it takes. Get on with it. You don't have a second chance. Kezz Pint n chillin out now. Sorry, but makes me mad when I hear things like this. Let the shoot down begin. Ouch!! No shoot down here,i am a straight male.Time has made me look at people as people.And you also find out that some seem to think that their opinion is the only one on earth.Don't get me wrong their are some real jerks.But most people i meet are good people.Kezz have a great next cruise. :) :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babyher Posted March 15, 2015 #16 Share Posted March 15, 2015 Actually I am curious . What exactly did security do to show you just how seriously they take these things. You spoke with someone and and they agreed with you that this was terrible . What did you think they were going to do . Tell you " AWWWWWWW come on, its just kids teasing , stop making a federal case" Did they go and find the offenders and say anything to them, or tell them if it happened again they would be put off the ship. Were they tracked down and read the anti harassment policy ? It doesn't sound like it. They listened , nodded their heads , agreed with every word . They made sure you were happy with the responce so you didn't go over their heads , and that they did have to take this to the next level. Part of my job is to schmooze people just enough so they are happy at step one , so we don't have to go to step two. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ocean Boy Posted March 15, 2015 #17 Share Posted March 15, 2015 (edited) Actually I am curious . What exactly did security do to show you just how seriously they take these things. You spoke with someone and and they agreed with you that this was terrible . What did you think they were going to do . Tell you " AWWWWWWW come on, its just kids teasing , stop making a federal case" Did they go and find the offenders and say anything to them, or tell them if it happened again they would be put off the ship. Were they tracked down and read the anti harassment policy ? It doesn't sound like it. They listened , nodded their heads , agreed with every word . They made sure you were happy with the responce so you didn't go over their heads , and that they did have to take this to the next level. Part of my job is to schmooze people just enough so they are happy at step one , so we don't have to go to step two. I think that a daily contact from security goes beyond a typical schmooze job. Edited March 15, 2015 by Ocean Boy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjb317 Posted March 15, 2015 #18 Share Posted March 15, 2015 (edited) Jules, I think your heart was in the right place but this was not your battle to fight. As the mother of a son who is gay, I have learned when he says, "Let it go, Mom" to do just that. However, having said that, I think there are times when you do need to take a stand, just not sure from your description of the event that this was one of them.:) Sherri:) Edited March 15, 2015 by sjb317 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Langley Cruisers Posted March 15, 2015 #19 Share Posted March 15, 2015 Jules, I think your heart was in the right place but this was not your battle to fight. As the mother of a son who is gay, I have learned when he says, "Let it go, Mom" to do just that. However, having said that, I think there are times when you do need to take a stand, just not sure from your description of the event that this was one of them.:) Eloquently stated, Sherri, and I agree with every word. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jules815 Posted March 15, 2015 Author #20 Share Posted March 15, 2015 Jules, I think your heart was in the right place but this was not your battle to fight. As the mother of a son who is gay, I have learned when he says, "Let it go, Mom" to do just that. However, having said that, I think there are times when you do need to take a stand, just not sure from your description of the event that this was one of them.:) Sherri:) Thank you. He's like my own child, and this was his first cruise. It hurt me (and scared me a bit, too) to think that on the very first day he had to deal with this kind of crap. I had horrible visions of kids waiting for him the next day to "beat up the gay." (I actually knew a couple of guys in college who did this back in 1980.) As it turned out, they had a wonderful time, met lots of great kids different universities, and he can't wait to cruise again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kayloves Posted March 15, 2015 #21 Share Posted March 15, 2015 the only person with a right to be offended was your daughter's friend. and I am sorry but unless YOU WERE THERE and heard exactly what was said and how it was said, you have ZERO credibility here, nor did you have ANY right to escalate the incident. he wanted it dropped IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN DROPPED. unless the man was threatened with harm, there was zero reason, need or right to go any further. in fact I am not even sure how you expected security to get involved? track the other 2 down and give them a stern talking to?! without any sold proof of the incident( unless it was caught on a camera with sound?) I agree spookwife. I'm guessing we missed something. Even if there was audio, sarcasm is discrimination? I don't have all the facts so I assume there is more to the story that could warrant the possibility that the other party could've been dismissed from the ship.... Hmmm.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
parrotfeathers Posted March 15, 2015 #22 Share Posted March 15, 2015 I don't understand how a person's diction gives credence to the thought they are gay? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjrice1 Posted March 15, 2015 #23 Share Posted March 15, 2015 I am not taking sides... however there are several other sides to this story. Who to say this guy took it the wrong way. I work with a lot of different races (mainly African Americans) and when ever I have to talk to them their favorite saying is "It is all because I am black, I am from Jamaica, or what ever. Or it is because I am gay.... what ever. Did they interview these guys. If he felt so offended why didn't he report it to a worker there. I do believe everyone should be treated equal regardless of their ethics or whom they may be. And if the story is really true... shame on those kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susie51 Posted March 15, 2015 #24 Share Posted March 15, 2015 Thanks for the info Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mollyeilis Posted March 15, 2015 #25 Share Posted March 15, 2015 Being teased is not discrimination. An incident of having how you speak made fun of isn't discrimination. If someone wants another person to drop it, the person should drop it. Especially if the person is an adult. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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