What topics are off-limits?

[CowPrincess]

Random stuff assaulting my brain as I pack for our upcoming cruise :D

 

One of the things we really enjoy about cruising is getting to know our table mates. Discussions at dinner seem to encompass all kinds of subjects but of course there are some subjects that are taboo .

 

We don't discuss money, politics or religion. IMHO those are far too private and can make others extremely uncomfortable. I know if someone was shoving their particular religious or political beliefs in my face I'd be offended. So we don't do that to anyone else. (Does anyone need to know their dinner companions are druids, or Catholics, or worshippers of Ba'al?) Nor do we discuss our finances.

 

 

As Canadians, we added to our personal list of taboo topics. We avoid discussing the Canadian health care system in comparison to the US health care system, and our personal opinions on Quebec separatism.

 

Just wondering about others' opinions and behaviour as tablemates. Do you still refrain from discussing money, politics and religion? Are there other topics that you refuse to discuss?

[Lizzie68]

Off limits to me is "What do you do?" (for a living). I find that offensive and turn the conversation to something else, or just answer "enjoy my cruises" and on to another topic.

[cp556]

I refrain from and do not participate in "What did you pay and what kind of cabin did you get" conversations. (There is always the guy who paid ten cents and got the Pinnacle Suite, according to what he says...:) )

 

I also recall, not fondly, being at a dinner table when two men got into it over a political matter and one yelled something VERY offensive at the other. Guess Who got up and left? (Hey, there was food elsewhere on the ship :)

[iancal]

Sex, religion, and politics.

 

Danger!

[Cruising-along]

Religion and politics.

And I want to thank you for not comparing the Canadian health care system with the US health care system. Pretty sure that would ruin my dinner and I would be looking for another table. ;)

[zerbot]

Off limits to me is "What do you do?" (for a living). I find that offensive and turn the conversation to something else, or just answer "enjoy my cruises" and on to another topic.

 

I would second that one. I've found over the years that the vast majority of people asking that question use it as a proxy for, "How much money do you make?" If the conversation lags, and I'm looking for something to continue talking about, I ask about what they enjoy doing, or something similar. If they work a crappy boring job, they probably don't want to talk about it on vacation, and it would be no fun for me to hear about it either.

[take us away]

Definitely money, price of the cruise, politics and all related subjects, religion and I would add any personal beliefs. Once had dinner companions who were vegans, which I have no issue with and have good friends who are vegans, but after listening to her initial triad about what I was poisoning myself with which started with the appetizers, I was amazed and appalled at her brazenness. Have to say, I thoroughly enjoyed my osso buco and made many comments about its excellence to anyone and everyone. She was so insulted at our dinner selections, she informed us she would not be back (darn!). Had a dining companion who loudly and repeatedly claimed all medical conditions were caused by bad nutrition, then fed her infirm father mounds of French fries with gobs of ketchup as his dinner. We have only changed tables once - can you guess which time?

[coolbluegreenseas]

...worshippers of Ba'al?

 

...discussing the Canadian health care system in comparison to the US health care system....

 

Worshippers of Ba'al might actually be an interesting conversation. A great many individuals cannot discuss anything other than sports, their work and other people. Pretty horrid conversation.

 

Oh, I wish you would discuss the Canadian health care system in contrast to the US system. It just might enlighten a group of people who have incorrect ideas about how your system works. Of course, this kind of conversation could get heated because you are questioning "American exceptionalism" and killing sacred cows can lead to fights.

 

To quote Jane Austen: "If you cannot think of anything nice to say, you will please restrict your remarks to the weather."

 

You could talk about books, but so few people read anymore. Movies should be safe, but the movies people watch can usually be analyzed within 15 minutes. Previous cruises are probably safe as are previous destinations, but since most people are tourists and not travelers, the pond is pretty shallow there too.

 

Enjoy the cruise, bring books, and seek those who actually want to hear about you, your life experiences and are willing to listen with an open mind.

[pv girl]

The easiest and least controversial subject is port excursions. Easy to say "what did you do today?'" or "what are you doing in port tomorrow?" Makes for good learning experience also as we compare and contrast different outings.

[coolbluegreenseas]

...I would add any personal beliefs. Once had dinner companions who were vegans... but after listening to her initial triad about what I was poisoning myself with which started with the appetizers, I was amazed and appalled at her brazenness. Have to say, I thoroughly enjoyed my osso buco and made many comments about its excellence to anyone and everyone. She was so insulted at our dinner selections, she informed us she would not be back (darn!). Had a dining companion who loudly and repeatedly claimed all medical conditions were caused by bad nutrition, then fed her infirm father mounds of French fries with gobs of ketchup as his dinner. We have only changed tables once - can you guess which time?

 

I am one of those people who likes to hear about personal beliefs. Your beliefs and mine should not be the same and if I am secure in what I belief, how can I be offended? Of course, this is not always the case.

 

You should have asked the vegan is she wanted to try the poison. In addition, you could have countered the nutrition zealot with this remark: "Well, perhaps medical conditions are caused by bad nutrition, but obviously your healthy nutrition has not done much for your mental condition."

 

Yeah, I do stuff like that. Turning fifty just makes you not care anymore. ;)

[iancal]

I would lump discussions of health care systems, gun control, immigration, or banking regulation well within the realm of politics. They are to be avoided at all costs.

 

We had the misfortune of travelling outside of NA just prior to, during, and after a US Presidential election. Not a pleasant experience since more than the usual low average number of people felt the need to give us their opinions....which were sometimes rather strident and presented as facts rather than opinion.

[Lizzie68]

While religion and politics are definitely off-limit topic, I think personal beliefs should be off topic on here, too, as I feel uncomfortable with preaching (off topic, LOL!) We met a couple from Jordan on our last cruise and they are Muslim. We had a really interesting chat about Isis and how it is affecting their way of life and how people view Muslims. And it turned out they read Cruise Critic too, so that led me to thinking about how we need to remember we are not all of the same faith or belief when we post something related here.

[coolbluegreenseas]

We had the misfortune of travelling outside of NA just prior to, during, and after a US Presidential election. Not a pleasant experience since more than the usual low average number of people felt the need to give us their opinions....which were sometimes rather strident and presented as facts rather than opinion.

 

Interestingly, our experience was the opposite. We were traveling in England 10 days before the the 2008 election and the Brits who discussed the election were more informed about the issues than average Americans. It was absolutely fun to discuss the subject without it getting heated, even when ideas did not exactly line up.

[albingirl]

Along with the usual religion and political subjects, I personally can't stand it when people talk about their personal health challenges. Over dinner. Another time, I don't mind so much but I really enjoy a pleasant dinner. Also, gripes about the ship staff really annoys me. Generally unfair.

[1of4]

What a great thread! Since we eat as a family now we are not sharing dinner conversations. But we get nailed in the Lido and in other places. I dislike being asked:

 

What I do and what DH does (no I am not ashamed, I just don't want to hear their opinion on our professions). Honestly who cares what we do.

 

Asking specifically where we live. I will give a general direction but don't ask me to identify my town or street. I am paranoid and don't want to say.

 

Don't ask me my opinion on gay marriage, legalizing marijuana, gun control or healthcare just because I am Canadian. These are debateable topics and I don't chose to debate them with anyone.

 

Politics...enough said.

 

Money. Please don't make fun of our coloured money, how much we paid for the cruise (or anything else), what we earn or if we bought insurance. We are on the same voyage as you so it is safe to assume we paid the going rate.

 

My children are off topic if you have anything negative to say...like they have no business being on "your" vacation. It is none of your business why we like to ruin your experience by bringing them along.

 

No snide comments made behind my back but loud enough for me to hear. If you have something to say please just say it to my face. Otherwise my opinion of you goes down the toilet with the rest of the waste.

 

And please, if you are enjoying dinner with your tablemates try to keep your conversations to yourself. I don't need to overhear mooing noises because prime rib is on the menu. My children wouldn't do that so I don't expect you to either. Also off your list of topics (and overheard on our last cruise) is the contents of haggis, what can be found in pig's bowels, what you couldn't keep in your stomach the night before and the different ways you had intimate relations, and where, while on the ship. :eek: Honestly. That is enough.

[buckirj1]

I try to avoid the whole shebang by eating alone as often as possible. Back in the days of shared tables, I once became uncomfortable with the direction of a discussion comparing the cruiseline we were sailing with other lines. A table mate kept trashing the service of the line as if the dinner servers weren't even there. He was an entitled old fart, anyway.

[Ky Colonel]

...Oh, I wish you would discuss the Canadian health care system in contrast to the US system. It just might enlighten a group of people who have incorrect ideas about how your system works. Of course, this kind of conversation could get heated because you are questioning "American exceptionalism" and killing sacred cows can lead to fights...

 

... and seek those who ... are willing to listen with an open mind.

 

coolbluegreenseas, Not sure I understand your comment - how does a discussion of the Canadian system necessarily involve "questioning American exceptionalism" and/or imply that persons who have "incorrect ideas about" the Canadian system do not have "an open mind"? I don't mean to be hyper-sensitive, but it appears that you think that anyone who does not share your opinion of the US health care system (whatever it is) could not possibly understand the Canadian system or, for that matter, be sufficiently open-minded to hear about it without getting into a fight. I hope that was not what you intended, but that is what you implied.

 

Smooth sailing,

 

Rod

Edited May 14, 2015 by Ky Colonel
Corrected a typo.

[ponstad]

Interestingly, our experience was the opposite. We were traveling in England 10 days before the the 2008 election and the Brits who discussed the election were more informed about the issues than average Americans. It was absolutely fun to discuss the subject without it getting heated, even when ideas did not exactly line up.

 

We had some of the same experiences while traveling in Europe - some of our most memorable conversations were political discussions. It can be a great learning experience if one is truly interested in learning about others' perspectives. One can disagree without being disagreeable.

[Lottie Linda]

Some subjects I found to be taboo at the dinner table:

 

1. Suicide- port or starboard?

2. Shaklee products

3. Hitler

4. Pustules

5. Wife swapping

6. Wanna wrestle?

7. That looks gross, what is it?

8. Best county jail meals

9. Which ethnic group is the worst?

10. Curling is not a sport!

 

I find too many people to be too thin skinned, I prefer to dine with my partner. If I want social conversation I'll find it at any of several bars on board.

Edited May 14, 2015 by Lottie Linda

[CowPrincess]

>SNIP<

 

We had the misfortune of travelling outside of NA just prior to, during, and after a US Presidential election. Not a pleasant experience since more than the usual low average number of people felt the need to give us their opinions....which were sometimes rather strident and presented as facts rather than opinion.

 

We were on a cruise when a significant piece of legislation was about to be enacted in the US. It was/is polarizing, and people held very strong views either in favour of it or against it. The discussions we heard were never civil.

[WNcruiser]

Off limits to me is "What do you do?" (for a living). I find that offensive and turn the conversation to something else, or just answer "enjoy my cruises" and on to another topic.

 

On our Transatlantic cruise on Celebrity Eclipse last year we were in a Royal Suite. We were the youngest ones in Michael's Club by many years. I think everyone in their kept asking us what we did for a living, some couples would not let it go for almost 2 weeks.

 

I am guilty of asking about Canadian healthcare, only because I am interested in other countries systems. I would never say which is better or what works better. I just love learning about different cultures and ways of life.

 

I agree with politics, gun control and gay marriage. Just not a conversation I want to have while on vacation.

Edited May 14, 2015 by WNcruiser

[kazu]

Along with the usual religion and political subjects, I personally can't stand it when people talk about their personal health challenges. Over dinner. Another time, I don't mind so much but I really enjoy a pleasant dinner. Also, gripes about the ship staff really annoys me. Generally unfair.

 

I agree. The same rules apply not to just our table mates but the conversations on our Cruise Critic boards IMO.

[Ky Colonel]

... Do you still refrain from discussing money, politics and religion? Are there other topics that you refuse to discuss?

 

CowPrincess, Great topic and lots of good responses. I would also like to know how CCers handle a situation when a stranger-fellow traveler broaches one of the topics they feel are off-limits? In other words, how do you (tactfully) extricate yourself from discussions that take a turn into areas/subjects that you would rather not discuss?

 

Rod

[CowPrincess]

While religion and politics are definitely off-limit topic, I think personal beliefs should be off topic on here, too, as I feel uncomfortable with preaching (off topic, LOL!) We met a couple from Jordan on our last cruise and they are Muslim. We had a really interesting chat about Isis and how it is affecting their way of life and how people view Muslims. And it turned out they read Cruise Critic too, so that led me to thinking about how we need to remember we are not all of the same faith or belief when we post something related here.

 

 

(bolding mine)

 

I agree that remembering that not everyone on CC is "like us" (whatever "us" is to each of us) is important. A little self-censoring and a bit of awareness of cultural or religious or economic or political differences is both sensitive and thoughtful :)

[iancal]

I think some people need to get it all out as it were.

 

We were checking into a hotel in Asheville last year. It took the usual minimal amount of time to provide details and credit card etc. When I turned back DW gave me the strangest look. She clearly want to get away from another lady in line who had struck up a conversation with her.

 

In that small amount of time the woman behind her in the line gave DW chapter and verse her opinion of gun control (she had apparently just returned from some demonstration/meeting in DC), medicare, and something else that I cannot remember.. She finished by saying that she would like to send Obama to Canada! Her voice had a strident quality to it and she made certain that everyone else in her vicinity could hear her commentary. As if anyone really cared.

 

All this to a complete stranger in about 3 minutes flat. Go figure. DW hardly said a word...just nodded and then made a hasty retreat with me. I felt so sorry for this poor woman's husband. He had that tired 'look' in his eyes. DW had her for 3 minutes, that poor man had her for a lifetime.

Edited May 14, 2015 by iancal