What topics are off-limits?

[Tampa Girl]

I'm not a firm believer in predefined "acceptable topics for conversation." It's just too limiting. If you're a good listener and you pay attention, you can usually tell when you are veering into turbulence. When that happens, just change to something lighter. If that doesn't work, slap the offending party sharply on the back and scream, "Pull up, man! Pull up! You're headed right into the mountain!"

 

At that point, everyone assumes you're crazy and you can dine in peace.

 

Love it!

[sunnygidget]

Politics: Met Harold at dinner one night, as he passed the bread, I noticed the tattoo of numbers on his arm. He saw the surprised look I apparently did not hide well and was not offended. He has written a book "The Last Sunrise" about the war and what he and his family went thru. Wonderful man.

 

Religion: Table for 10, and the ships chaplain, (a Catholic Priest) was seated next to me. What a hoot, that man could tell the most marvelous stories about his work, (brides fainting, children making faces during sermons and such). Wonderful dinner conversation.

 

Health: Broke my arm right before a cruise and many people asked how did it. Just for fun, because I'm a bit sassy, I answered, "I told my husband a trapeze over the bed was a bad idea". Some people faces were priceless before they broke into laughter. Do not think anyone was offended, and it was a great ice breaker for conversation.

 

My point: A couple from Turkey had advice for everyone at our dinner table, "If you are offended by something that was said or done, move on, it's not the end of the world, life is just to damn short." I love it, they had so much fun together.

[cruisr]

Politics: Met Harold at dinner one night, as he passed the bread, I noticed the tattoo of numbers on his arm. He saw the surprised look I apparently did not hide well and was not offended. He has written a book "The Last Sunrise" about the war and what he and his family went thru. Wonderful man.

 

Religion: Table for 10, and the ships chaplain, (a Catholic Priest) was seated next to me. What a hoot, that man could tell the most marvelous stories about his work, (brides fainting, children making faces during sermons and such). Wonderful dinner conversation.

 

Health: Broke my arm right before a cruise and many people asked how did it. Just for fun, because I'm a bit sassy, I answered, "I told my husband a trapeze over the bed was a bad idea". Some people faces were priceless before they broke into laughter. Do not think anyone was offended, and it was a great ice breaker for conversation.

 

My point: A couple from Turkey had advice for everyone at our dinner table, "If you are offended by something that was said or done, move on, it's not the end of the world, life is just to damn short." I love it, they had so much fun together.

 

 

Excellent. You have shown that "off limits" topics can actually be engaging. It can be an opportunity to widen one's knowledge of others and perhaps better understand things outside of one's own world. "Off limits" topics may actually be educational.

[Khaos WolfKat]

Some subjects I found to be taboo at the dinner table:

 

1. Suicide- port or starboard?

2. Shaklee products

3. Hitler

4. Pustules

5. Wife swapping

6. Wanna wrestle?

7. That looks gross, what is it?

8. Best county jail meals

9. Which ethnic group is the worst?

10. Curling is not a sport!

 

I find too many people to be too thin skinned, I prefer to dine with my partner. If I want social conversation I'll find it at any of several bars on board.

 

Thanks SOOO much for making me choke on my beverage just now, ROFL!

Hilarious post!

[Khaos WolfKat]

Politics: Met Harold at dinner one night, as he passed the bread, I noticed the tattoo of numbers on his arm. He saw the surprised look I apparently did not hide well and was not offended. He has written a book "The Last Sunrise" about the war and what he and his family went thru. Wonderful man.

 

Religion: Table for 10, and the ships chaplain, (a Catholic Priest) was seated next to me. What a hoot, that man could tell the most marvelous stories about his work, (brides fainting, children making faces during sermons and such). Wonderful dinner conversation.

 

Health: Broke my arm right before a cruise and many people asked how did it. Just for fun, because I'm a bit sassy, I answered, "I told my husband a trapeze over the bed was a bad idea". Some people faces were priceless before they broke into laughter. Do not think anyone was offended, and it was a great ice breaker for conversation.

 

My point: A couple from Turkey had advice for everyone at our dinner table, "If you are offended by something that was said or done, move on, it's not the end of the world, life is just to damn short." I love it, they had so much fun together.

Great post, SunnyGidget, and well said.

 

The OP, as well as most everyone else make great points as well, but I think it really boils down to personal preference, paying attention, and trying to know your "audience".

 

I haven't yet gone on my first cruise, but I can't imagine it being different from any other social situation where you will be dining with strangers.

 

I don't feel that any subject is off limits across the board, as long as you are being an active participant in conversations, rather than just waiting for your turn to say your piece.

 

Think about your wording before you speak. Respond, rather than reacting. Ask clarifying questions before you assume, watch for non-verbal cues, listen to tone of voice or hesitation, and be aware if someone seems uncomfortable with a topic, and be willing to graciously drop it and move on.

 

I've had all kinds of simply amazing conversations with and learned tons from strangers about all manner of things, including hot button topics about which our views were diametrically opposed, without having them turn unpleasant.

 

Not everyone can have a pleasant debate, and if you or your dining companion(s) cannot, then, by all means, agree to keep the discussion topics more on the lighter side.

 

Setting good boundaries is very useful too. If the conversation is getting too intense/emotionally charged/whatever for you, there's nothing wrong with saying, "I'm feeling uncomfortable with this conversation. Can we please talk about something else?" Anyone who isn't a complete cad will respect that.

Also, if you happen to know that you are not very good at reading social cues (like most people on the autism spectrum, many with ADHD and other frontal lobe disorders, or who are otherwise non-neurotypical), then let people know that, and ask them to specifically tell you if you're crossing a line. It can REALLY help!

 

Oh yeah! And yes, please do try and keep your conversation volume limited to your own table/group. Just because I'm perfectly fine hearing about that weird autopsy you assisted or your toddler's potty training does not mean that nice couple at the next table consented to that! ;)

[POA1]

Is it just me, or does the fact that "What Not To Say" garnering 200+ posts strike anyone else as odd?

 

Yes, I am guilty of posting to the thread.

[Tarpeian Rock]

Politics: Met Harold at dinner one night, as he passed the bread, I noticed the tattoo of numbers on his arm. He saw the surprised look I apparently did not hide well and was not offended. He has written a book "The Last Sunrise" about the war and what he and his family went thru. Wonderful man.

 

Religion: Table for 10, and the ships chaplain, (a Catholic Priest) was seated next to me. What a hoot, that man could tell the most marvelous stories about his work, (brides fainting, children making faces during sermons and such). Wonderful dinner conversation.

 

Health: Broke my arm right before a cruise and many people asked how did it. Just for fun, because I'm a bit sassy, I answered, "I told my husband a trapeze over the bed was a bad idea". Some people faces were priceless before they broke into laughter. Do not think anyone was offended, and it was a great ice breaker for conversation.

 

My point: A couple from Turkey had advice for everyone at our dinner table, "If you are offended by something that was said or done, move on, it's not the end of the world, life is just to damn short." I love it, they had so much fun together.

 

 

Re: the priest. Yeah, but there's a difference between anecdotes and theology - which is what I think most people mean when they steer away from "religion" as a table topic. There be dragons.

[Khaos WolfKat]

Is it just me, or does the fact that "What Not To Say" garnering 200+ posts strike anyone else as odd?

 

Yes, I am guilty of posting to the thread.

 

It doesn't seem surprising to me at all. People are usually interested in fitting in and not offending others/being offended when experiencing a new (to them) culture, and it is looking more and more like cruises count as a culture unto themselves, the more I read!

 

I am glad to see so many people talking about it. It means that many people are interested in being good dining/cruising companions. That can't be a bad thing, right!?

[ctcruisedream]

My cabinmate and I were taken aback when asked at the dinner table what our 'relationship' was. The asker was part of an openly gay group. I cruise with other single, straight co-worker friends that travel well together. I recall another poster around the same time, a few years back, being asked the 'relationship' question and not liking it either.

[rotjeknor]

We just the table conversations, no subject is off limits. It just depends on who is at the table and in what direction the subject goes. Why limit yourself ? If you're uncomfortable with a subject just say so. We always learn a lot of things about what living/politics/health systems/etc. in other countries are like. What people do or did for a living is somehow always a subject at tables where we sat and never seemed to bother anybody.

[swin26]

 

 

 

And don't talk about Hitler.

 

 

We had a great conversation one night about Hitler - but then it was on a Baltic cruise and most of the table had spent the day seeing Hitler's bunker and the holocaust memorial in Berlin. It depends on the circumstances.