What do you like and/or dislike about sharing a table with strangers?

[slidergirl]

Profound comment on the value of travel.

What does it imply about those couples who insist on tables for two so they won't have to dine with strangers?

 

Thank you for making me feel that there is something wrong with me and I should not cruise?

I meet plenty of locals and fun and interesting people all day long when I travel. That is one of the reasons I prefer to travel solo and DIY instead of taking organized tours. I can actually immerse myself in the local rather than doing drive-bys to check a site off a list; kind of more like "quality over quantity." Who we choose to have a meal with is a very small, minor part of most people's vacations. Why make us feel inferior and that there is something fundamentally wrong with us because we choose to spend 90-120 minutes to ourselves, going back over what we did for the day???

Sorry, but that comment struck a very raw nerve.

[seadog18]

Thank you for making me feel that there is something wrong with me and I should not cruise?

I meet plenty of locals and fun and interesting people all day long when I travel. That is one of the reasons I prefer to travel solo and DIY instead of taking organized tours. I can actually immerse myself in the local rather than doing drive-bys to check a site off a list; kind of more like "quality over quantity." Who we choose to have a meal with is a very small, minor part of most people's vacations. Why make us feel inferior and that there is something fundamentally wrong with us because we choose to spend 90-120 minutes to ourselves, going back over what we did for the day???

Sorry, but that comment struck a very raw nerve.

I'm sorry to say that people are naturally judgemental. If you don't fit in a box they force fit you into one. If I walk in a park on my own no one will talk to me. If I have a dog with me I suddenly become approachable. No it doesn't make sense. In the mean time carry on cruising:D

[tip]

... Who we choose to have a meal with is a very small, minor part of most people's vacations. Why make us feel inferior and that there is something fundamentally wrong with us because we choose to spend 90-120 minutes to ourselves, going back over what we did for the day??? ...

 

Very well-said. Too many folks on these boards are quick to pass judgment. Don't tell me that I am anti-social, don't know how to make conversation, don't like to meet new people, (etc., etc., etc.) and I won't tell you that your marriage is on the rocks because you choose not to dine at a table for two with your spouse!

[bUU]

Why make us feel inferior and that there is something fundamentally wrong with us because we choose to spend 90-120 minutes to ourselves, going back over what we did for the day???

Of course, you should not and must not feel inferior, but rather should feel disgusted by the pretension of those who would presume to imply that either choice is categorically better than the other.

 

 

 

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[pseudoware01]

... on our last cruise a woman came across the table towards my wife because my wife thought her favorite political candidate was an Buffoon.

 

Yup, dining with just us is a good way to ensure we won't be seated with any supporters of a certain North American country's despicable, low life, arguably racist & homophobic president.

 

 

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[Cuervosar]

Yup, dining with just us is a good way to ensure we won't be seated with any supporters of a certain North American country's despicable, low life, arguably racist & homophobic president.

 

 

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I'm on the other side of the world mate, but I thought Obama's terms were over?

[navybankerteacher]

Interesting how sensitive some people are when they hear a different point of view about sharing tables:

 

Apparently simply suggesting that people who won't consider trying an experience which is essentially unique to cruising are missing something is judgmental and pretentious.

 

People who are committed to their approach are of course entitled to it; but I do not accept their notion that advocating a different approach is unacceptable.

[perditax]

I'm on the other side of the world mate, but I thought Obama's terms were over?

 

 

I don't think this joke lands as well as you might hope.

[frantic36]

Interesting how sensitive some people are when they hear a different point of view about sharing tables:

 

Apparently simply suggesting that people who won't consider trying an experience which is essentially unique to cruising are missing something is judgmental and pretentious.

 

People who are committed to their approach are of course entitled to it; but I do not accept their notion that advocating a different approach is unacceptable.

 

I have read through all the 22 pages and tried to stay out of this discussion. I must admit I am surprised that some posters whose opinion I normally respect are being so disparaging of people who prefer to not dine at a large table. Slidergirl and others posted earlier that they had tried dining with others and for various reasons now choose not to dine this way again. So why do you keep seemingly insisting they should try dining with others?

 

I have had good and bad experiences dining with others but that is why we like open dining. We can choose to dine by ourselves. I meet many people on the ship and then we can organise our own tables. Quite a few of these people I still keep in contact with and have met up with them later on land. I didn't need to sit at a large table to make friends with these people.

 

Some of my friends enjoy joining large tables and some don't. I would never presume to tell any of them or anyone else, how they should dine.

[slidergirl]

Interesting how sensitive some people are when they hear a different point of view about sharing tables:

 

Apparently simply suggesting that people who won't consider trying an experience which is essentially unique to cruising are missing something is judgmental and pretentious.

 

People who are committed to their approach are of course entitled to it; but I do not accept their notion that advocating a different approach is unacceptable.

 

Hmmm. I seem to remember this a few posts upthread:

 

Originally posted by navybankerteacher Profound comment on the value of travel.

What does it imply about those couples who insist on tables for two so they won't have to dine with strangers?

I do not remember any post advocating that people join a large table is unacceptable. It is the putting forth the idea that those do not want to eat at a table with others are somehow "broken" that is unacceptable. No one has said you must eat at a table for just your party or yourself...

Some of us have spent time at communal dining tables. We just prefer to not do so. Cruising is changing; the old "traditional" dining where you sit where you are assigned for the entire cruise is not the only option anymore. We have choice; allow us to exercise it.

[davekathy]

Last time we shared a table in the MDR was 1994 on the Zenith. Every cruise since then it's always a table for two. Breakfast, lunch and dinner.

[drsel]

Our experiences have taught us that odds are we're better off on a two top. For example, during one prior cruise, we were seated at a table of eight, and the family of four at the table never showed and never called to say they were not coming. The staff refused to take our orders until they waited almost a half hour for this family that never came.

 

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That's terrible. We would hate to have to wait for some strangers to show up in order to have dinner.

We are lucky that so far, we always managed to get a private table and didn't have to wait for anyone.

Also, we don't like to waste too much time dining, cos we would miss the beginning of the next show or activity.

We also choose anytime dining, so that we can dine in between the main shows, and not miss any entertainment.

[Cyber Kat]

Interesting how sensitive some people are when they hear a different point of view about sharing tables:

 

 

 

Apparently simply suggesting that people who won't consider trying an experience which is essentially unique to cruising are missing something is judgmental and pretentious.

 

 

 

People who are committed to their approach are of course entitled to it; but I do not accept their notion that advocating a different approach is unacceptable.

 

 

And who says they haven't tried this "essentially unique experience" already and found it not to their liking. There is an awful lot of judgement and pretentiousness going around here. The air is thick with it.

 

To quote Rhett Butler, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." Sit with whoever you want to sit with. If you like dining with strangers - great, do so. If you prefer a table for your group or just you and your spouse/partner, equally great, do so.

 

Why all the fuss? If someone makes themselves feel superior by thinking THEIR way is better than what I prefer, I really don't care because that superiority is only in their mind. Doesn't affect me at all, and I'm not advocating either approach.

 

The question in the title asks what do YOU like or dislike about sharing a table - NOT what you think everyone else should do.

 

 

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[Cruise a holic]

My husband and I enjoy being together on the ship. We go because we want to enjoy each others company. We do not want to be in summer camp. We have wonderful friends and family at home and at work. What is wrong with wanting to treasure time together? We enjoy dining at a table for two.

[john watson]

On our last cruise a woman came across the table towards my wife because my wife thought her favourite political candidate was an Buffoon.

 

I do not think this is quite true. The woman came across the table because your wife told this woman that her favourite political candidate was a buffoon. In my experience not many people you meet at your table are psychic.

 

Regards John

[drsel]

I do not think this is quite true. The woman came across the table because your wife told this woman that her favourite political candidate was a buffoon. In my experience not many people you meet at your table are psychic.

 

Regards John

OMG, were you there to witness all this?

[Tatka]

My husband and I enjoy being together on the ship. We go because we want to enjoy each others company. We do not want to be in summer camp. We have wonderful friends and family at home and at work. What is wrong with wanting to treasure time together? We enjoy dining at a table for two.

Exactly! We do not even cruise with our family or friends, why would we dine with strangers. I am sure majority of our cruise mates are wonderful people, but ...

[Hey Tina]

OMG, were you there to witness all this?

 

I'm pretty sure they were being pedantic because the OP used the phrase "my wife thought her favourite...." when the more accurate phrasing would be "my wife said her favourite...". Sort of saying that if the wife had kept her opinion to herself (instead of verbalizing it) the other lady wouldn't have tried to come across the table.

[john watson]

OMG, were you there to witness all this?

 

 

No, not at all. It seems obvious to me that the woman coming across the table is only doing so because the poster's wife had said something derogatory about her political hero. She cannot be reacting to the wife's "thoughts" unless she can read her mind. The poster perceives this is the case. The poster also seems to be oblivious the fact that this type incident can easily result from people at a shared MDR table saying anything really bad about anyone.

 

It is never a good idea to say negative comments about anything if it might be construed as offensive to anyone. This makes certain topics very awkward to discuss as many people's views on certain issues are fundamental. Unless people are very sensitive about others points of view things can get out of hand.

 

 

Regards John

[Hey Tina]

I posted this before my latest cruise and afterwards I talked to my family and they said they wouldn't mind sharing a table (at least to try it) but we never ended up doing it. It wasn't a conscious decision, we just never asked and were never offered to share. On my next cruise I'll be going solo, and I figure it might be nice to share with strangers. I don't really know why since on the one with my family there was a fair amount of time where I ate by myself.

 

In any case, for the responses that addressed the question in the title (which was definitely a minority of the responses), the reasons are kind of what I assumed. I wondered if there was something I hadn't thought of but not so much.

[Strophic]

It's obviously not advisable to talk about politics at the dinner table on a cruise. But it's unacceptable to respond to someone making a comment about your preferred politician by escalating to physical intimidation.

[john watson]

I was on a Cunard cruise with my eleven year old daughter. She sat to my left and beyond that was a man then his wife beyond. Suddenly mt daughter said "he's just punched me". There was no uproar or anything and I noticed nothing. So I asked her if it was a hard punch and she said it was. So I asked my daughter to punch me the same. It turned out to be not that hard between elbow and shoulder. After a little discussion between us and the couple it transpired the couple did not have children, he was a football player and it was his way of saying "YESSSS" in a friendly manner. He had simply lost sense of eleven year old girls are not as robust as other football players. We became very friendly though the voyage and no harm was done at all.

 

Regards John

[Cuervosar]

We like eating at traditional dining with others so that we have dinner conversation other than just between the two of us. And with traditional dining, we get past the first night's conversation (where people are from, what they do/did for an occupation, etc.) into deeper conversations. We've remained in touch with several previous tablemates.

 

Exactly.

[Cuervosar]

But the problem is, it makes a lot of us feel very awkward. When someone sits there and wants to hold hands and/or "bless the food" or whatever and we're sitting there like "uhhh", that's just not something that we do and honestly I feel very uncomfortable in those situations.

 

So get comfortable being uncomfortable. Where is the harm to you?

[bUU]

So get comfortable being uncomfortable. Where is the harm to you?

That cuts both ways: Get comfortable with being deferential to other guests' lack of interest in participating in someone else's religious ritual.

 

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