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A dress code story...


florisdekort
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I would appreciate people’s thoughts on what happened to us recently on board Seabourn Ovation.

 

We had just been seated at a table for 2 in The Restaurant and were studying our dinner menus when the Maitre D appeared and asked to see my pants. This was only possible by getting up, resulting in all surrounding tables looking at me as I stood there for this awkward “inspection”. The Maitre D then quickly concluded I was wearing perfectly acceptable black dress pants, mumbled an apology and disappeared.

 

I was so stunned by the experience that I had no immediate reaction, but about 15 minutes later I had recovered and asked our (excellent!) waiter to call the Maitre D. I asked him what had caused this embarrassing episode and he volunteered that another table had complained about my attire, erroneously taking my black dress pants for jeans. I then asked where these people were seated (not expecting an answer), but he was eager to point out a table all the way on the other side of the restaurant. (How someone’s attire can be such an issue to people seated 20+ tables away baffles me, but that’s a different discussion.)

 

Following that, I moved on. You can’t let small things impact your cruise experience too much [emoji846]

 

Now that I’m home, I’m wondering though...

 

- Do you think this Maitre D handled the situation appropriately?

- Should I have done anything different?

 

Cheers,

Floris

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Floris,

 

The LAST thing I believe the maitre d' should have done was examine your choice of clothing at your table. To do so risks and did indeed cause you embarrassment. No, he or she should have had a word with you when you were leaving the dining room had he/she seen you wearing jeans and reminded you that in the future jeans are not allowed.

 

I am impressed and relieved that you kept your cool. I would think that the maitre d' acted impulsively and none too cleverly. You might want to recount the story to the Hotel DIrector and let him/her take it from there.

 

Happy and healthy sailing!

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- Do you think this Maitre D handled the situation appropriately?

- Should I have done anything different?

 

Cheers,

Floris

 

No I don't think he handled it appropriately. Since you had already been entered the dining room either he, or another member of staff would have seen your attire and, had it been inappropriate (which of course it was not) would have asked you politely to change at that point.

Since you had already been 'inspected' on the way in, and were seated, he should have assured the other table you were correctly attired and discreetly checked when you left to ensure he was right.

 

What in any case would he have done if you were found to have been admitted in error and were wearing jeans? Would he have really tossed a seated guest out of the dining room to change, causing them quite a lot of embarrassment?

 

You probably did the right thing in the circumstances. Someone standing up and sitting down in the dining room probably was barely noticed and forgotten about seconds later. If you had, as I regrettably feel might have happened were it me, an argument about it, more attention would have been drawn.

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I would appreciate people’s thoughts on what happened to us recently on board Seabourn Ovation.

 

We had just been seated at a table for 2 in The Restaurant and were studying our dinner menus when the Maitre D appeared and asked to see my pants. This was only possible by getting up, resulting in all surrounding tables looking at me as I stood there for this awkward “inspection”. The Maitre D then quickly concluded I was wearing perfectly acceptable black dress pants, mumbled an apology and disappeared.

 

I was so stunned by the experience that I had no immediate reaction, but about 15 minutes later I had recovered and asked our (excellent!) waiter to call the Maitre D. I asked him what had caused this embarrassing episode and he volunteered that another table had complained about my attire, erroneously taking my black dress pants for jeans. I then asked where these people were seated (not expecting an answer), but he was eager to point out a table all the way on the other side of the restaurant. (How someone’s attire can be such an issue to people seated 20+ tables away baffles me, but that’s a different discussion.)

 

Following that, I moved on. You can’t let small things impact your cruise experience too much [emoji846]

 

Now that I’m home, I’m wondering though...

 

- Do you think this Maitre D handled the situation appropriately?

- Should I have done anything different?

 

Cheers,

Floris

 

 

 

A similar thing happened to me on the RCCL Jewel

using the diamond lounge at cocktail hour during a trans Atlantic voyage. A couple complained about my footwear. I was wearing a pair of what could only be called plain black flip flops. The woman in the couple was also wearing similar footwear however her’s were encrusted with imitation plastic jewels. I was asked to leave and the concierge apologized. I was only permitted to enter with ‘proper’ footwear for the remaining portion of the cruise. It seems there are people who deem themselves judge and jury of others attire and the ships cater to them knowing they will pursue it until they’re satisfied.

 

 

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Floris: Thanks for the story. I am liking you more and more and am looking forward to meeting you on our upcoming Peru/Antarctica adventure.

 

IMHO, the Maitre D' did not do a good job. He/she should have simply thanked the other party and told them that the matter would be looked into, and then just dropped the whole kerfuffle. You had obviously already passed the pants police when you entered the restaurant in your lovely outfit so how could you now be eligible to walk the plank?

 

No, I would not confront the other passengers, but I would certainly avoid them for the rest of the cruise. And the whole episode is just plain petty, odd and weird. There are so many other things to focus on during a wonderful cruise other than another passenger's pants. Could there have been a strange fetish thing going on? Just askin'!

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Oh dear, this was handled very poorly by the Maitre d'.

 

Trying to imagine why the other guests felt they had to 'tell' on you for (not) wearing jeans, the only scenario I can come up with is that perhaps one of them had previously not been allowed into MDR wearing them.

They then spotted you, for some reason they thought you were wearing them and were disgruntled enough to say something along the lines of 'how come he is allowed wearing jeans?' and it's gone from there.

 

Whatever the actual reason, the Maitre d' should in no circumstances have made you stand up for dress check. I'd mention this to the HD as it's clearly a training issue, which staff at the level of Maitre d' should not need further training on.

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Well done, Floris, for not reacting immediately. I always try to do a slow burn when something untoward happens; it is usually the best policy.

 

One of the main requirements for a Maitre'd is tact and diplomacy, and this person has obviously failed on both counts. They certainly acted incorrectly, both in asking you to stand up and be counted when you were already seated at a table, and then for telling you who had complained - could have ended up in fisticuffs with some passengers!

 

If you did not report it to the Hotel Director, I feel that you should now let Seabourn know about what happened, as this Maitre'd is either unsuitable or needs further training.

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I would have refused to stand. Made an official complaint with guest relations. Demanded a meeting with the food and beverage manager. Demanded a total cruise refund. Confronted the other passengers, asked them to stand while I inspected their outfits.

But then I do have a short fuse [emoji41]

 

 

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Sorry to hear about this and yes the Maitre D acted in a very poor and indiscreet way.

 

 

Fellow passengers are not judge and jury on these matters and had this happened to us whilst I would not let it spoil our holiday, neither would I let it rest.

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A difficult one for the Maitre D.

 

 

 

Damned if you do,damned if you don't.

 

 

People are always moaning about dress standards and you happen to have cruised with members of the self appointed dress police. Caught in the middle the Maitre D came over to check guidelines were being adhered to which they were and everyone moved on.

 

 

 

I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from popping over to the dress police and saying that apparently they needed to inspect my trousers to ensure they were appropriate. I might have made a funny remark to the Maitre D on my return to the table concerning their attire / appearance but winked, smiled and said I shall let it pass on this occasion. :)

 

 

No one died and hopefully dinner was enjoyable.

 

 

 

Henry :)

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I cannot even imagine why the maitre d' thought this was the proper way to handle what turned out to be a nonissue. I am impressed with your restraint. I do think it should be pointed out to the hotel director as the incident can be used as an example of what NOT to do in the next hotel staff meeting.

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Sounds a horrid experience for you.

If the Maitre d's on Seabourn actually were doing their jobs properly, a quick scan upon arrival at the podium in the entrance of the restaurant, and a quiet word with anyone not appropriately dressed would work wonders and keep standards up. It surely wouldn't be a difficult thing, it is certainly what used to happen!

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I would have told the maitre d' to deliver the following message to the complainers: "I'll show you mine if you show me yours, so march yourself over here and let me examine your attire. Then if I find it suitable I may return the favor."

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Floris, in my opinion, you were the only one who behaved appropriately.

The Maitre D' should not have asked you to stand for inspection. He did not handle the situation tactfully. He needs more training.

 

I do not think the fashion police passenger is worthy of comment.

Glad you handled yourself properly.

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The restaurant staff had their opportunity to see if you conformed to the dress code when you arrived and asked to be seated.

It’s too late after that and the Maitre d’ was totally wrong in what he did.

I would have asked for the Hotel Director to be brought to my table.

My dress standards are well above the dress code anyway so it couldn’t happen to me.[emoji56]

 

 

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Able seaman H - I am afraid I think you are wrong on this one; there is no way once the passenger who was seated at a table (and therefore the possibly offending trousers could not have been seen by anyone) that they should have been subjected to this. The Maitre'd behaved completely incorrectly on this occasion, and should have merely told the complaining ones that he would see the possibly offending passenger on their way out of the dining room. No ifs or buts. I know you like to stick up for the staff; so do I as a general rule, but this one is on a different level.

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The Maitre’d should have said to the complainers “ are they in the MDR? Then they are dressed appropriately”.

 

It is SB who should “police” the dress, not another guest. Who gives a stuff what someone else thinks, if SB is accepting of the dress, then it is ok IMHO.

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Playing devil’s advocate here - it’s quite possible the petty complainers were already known to be high maintenance (there’s always a few on any voyage) and the M’d decided to take extreme, visible action basically to shut them up. I’m not condoning it - he could and should have handled it very differently but sometimes even a M’d can be pushed beyond his limits of patience with these obnoxious people. But I would tell Seabourn what happened so they can take the necessary steps to ensure it doesn’t happen again.

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Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts, much appreciated! We didn’t let this incident bother us much; the food and service from our waiter were just too good [emoji846] It’s encouraging to read however that most experienced Seabourn travellers feel that this could have been handled differently and that it’s Seabourn’s standard practice to ‘inspect’ at the door and not at the table... as we think it should be.

 

Cheers,

Floris

 

 

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Florisdekort, I think that you handled the situation admirably; not so the M'D; he at least should have waited until you were leaving the MDR and then, if he saw that the clothing wasn't appropriate, had a quiet word.

 

I was thinking how would have John Cleese handled the situation (IF HE WAS wearing the wrong pants) .

He would have removed them on the spot and handed them to the M'd , then sat back down;)

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