Completely terrified of doing another solo cruise.

[Hyena Snow]

Hello new to the forum been wanting to join for a while and finally did it. Cutting straight to the point  2 solo trips, NCL sky 3 day and Carnival Victory 3 day. Horrible horrible experiences making never want to do cruising again. They all made me feel left out, couldn't connect with anyone so most time was spent in my cabin upset and no one cared. It almost got to the point where I was going to get off the ship at port and not get back on and fly back home. I already have a hard time making friends and I though hmm cruises may be able to open my shell NOPE! just made my depression worse. I even tried the Dr Suess. Character breakfast, sat me down at the table with another group of people who looked like they didn't want me there so I got up and left and never came back, wasn't even there for 2 minutes. I looked through window where the character breakfast was taking place ( I know creepy but I wanted to go back so bad but didn't ) I didn't stay the whole time though. I don't have a lot of money so I feel like the wealthier one's were getting treated better then I was and that just threw fuel in the fire. NCL sky was no different drunk people everywhere because of the open bar thing and I don't drink so what was I doing on that ship? I don't know. It was like cruises didn't want to have nothing to with me. I felt my skin color had lot to do with it too. My personal vacation was trying to encourage me to take another cruise, why? so I sit in my cabin the whole time I'm sorry but not happening I don't know how other solo's do it because they always stories that they met wonderful people and had a great time, where are these wonderful people? because I certainly didn't meet them maybe because I'm not a social butterfly go figure. Wrong cruise lines? traveling wrong time? what is the deal? I expect to have a good time not be miserable and watch others have all the fun. I starting to believe that traveling is not for me or cruises for that matter.  How hard is it for you to say hi? Or ask "do you want to join us? or even acknowledge that I am there? I paid like everyone else. Sorry for for long rant but this is crazy it shouldn't be like this feeling pressured to drink just to have fun. Oh man I am getting upset from writing this but I had to get this off my chest something has to be done about this. 

[wwcruisers]

Sorry that you had a bad time. Glad that you were able to get it 'off your chest'. But you lost me at "something has to be done about this". Not sure what you would expect to be done, or by whom? 😕

Maybe you answered your own question when you said that you don't want to cruise again. Cruising simply is not for everyone -- and solo cruising can be even more of a challenge. If you do decide to try the waters again, you might have better luck cruising with a friend, family member, or even as part of a group. Good luck!

[GUT2407]

Sounds like cruising may not be for you.

[Scrapnana]

Welcome to Cruise Critic!

 

I almost always cruise solo (about 300 days so far) and am not a "social butterfly" either.  I do a couple of things to get to know people.  First of all, I always join the roll call for my cruise here on Cruise Critic.  Second, I always get fixed seating (I realize NCL does not have that but I believe Carnival does) at a large (8-10 people) table so I eat with the same people each night.

 

Unfortunately, the short cruises often become "booze cruises".  

 

Don't sit in your cabin - you will definitely not meet anyone that way.  

[Krazy Kruizers]

Welcome to Cruise Critic.

 

3 day cruises are booze cruises.  The majority of these people cruise together, stay together, drink together, etc.

 

You need to take a 1 week cruise -- ask a friend or relative to join you.

[Markanddonna]

I would advise new cruisers to not judge the cruising experience by a three day cruise which most consider to be booze cruises. They tend to be more locals who gather family and friends for a cheap getaway.

 

We met and hung out with quite a few singles on our transatlantic cruise. The roll call was quite active for them and they got their act together that way. They ate and did activities together. Every sea day, the roll call met for game time in the rear of the buffet area and many singles participated. That gave the singles and couples a nice chance to interact.

 

I love to meet interesting people from around the world on cruises.

 

 

Edited December 2, 2018 by Markanddonna

[cruisemom42]

I'm a solo cruiser also. Please don't take this the wrong way, but your reactions to others -- at least the way you describe them in your post -- have more to do with your own mindset than with their behaviors. For example, what was it that made you think the group of people you sat down with "didn't want you there" after only two minutes?  You have to give others a chance. A lot is down to your own mindset. People will be friendly, for the most part, if you meet them partway. That doesn't mean they are going to jump up and down to welcome you or include you -- you have to put forth some effort too, if you want to meet others.

 

Not every solo wants to be befriended or join in with others on a vacation. Some like the alone time. Others may not want to reach out to you (out of respect for that) unless you make it clear that you'd welcome it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[mef_57]

Welcome and sorry to hear your miserable experiences. I haven't done a 3 day, but that seems to be a major contributor....as mentioned above, these are booze cruises.

I travel solo land and sea, but don't travel to meet people. I prefer my own company or being in a group with a common interest. For me, that might be the knitting group that is often offered on longer cruises. Making chit chat with complete strangers is no longer my thing.....but I have had decades to figure out what makes me happy.

Cruise Critic  has a solo travel forum. Here is the link https://boards.cruisecritic.com/forum/279-solo-cruisers/

You may get some support or insight there. There is also a thread there where people post good deals for solo travelers. If you are close to a port, and can manage a week or more off with short notice,  then that might give you the best bsng for your buck. Otherwise, I suggest leaving the cruise vacations to later, when you can afford a longer vacation.

I also subscribe to solo travel forums on land travel sites and solo travel can just be plain old challenging.....if you are looking for company. You should not expect it. Find a place that interests you and go to learn about the place. You can control that. You cannot control people to act as you want them to.

[Nic6318]

Hi

 

At this stage in my life, I would love to find a cruise buddy, but if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. If I am going on a vacation, no matter where, I am going to have fun. Even if I am alone. You have to remember, the other people on the ship didn't book the cruise to meet you. While not being closed to what is happening around you, it would be best to appreciate that if you did meet someone who you were able to get along with, it would be an amazing fortunate coincidence, not necessarily something to be expected.

 

If you do continue to go on cruises, you need to learn from the past. Apart from the fact that a 3 day cruise is more trouble than it's worth (in terms of seeing new places), as others have pointed out, they are "booze cruises", and you don't drink. Also, just wanted to through this out, in social settings where people are drinking, it isn't unheard of to drink beverages that don't contain alcohol. Now back to the 3 day cruise...even if you were to meet somebody, great, the next day the cruise is over.   As I said, for myself, I would be looking to have fun. Where were these 3 day cruise going to, and what were your plans to have fun.  A big thing about cruises is getting to see new places and doing new things. Do some research on where you can go, and what you might be able to do that would interest you, even if you are alone. If it means you need more time to save up for a longer cruise, it might well be worth it.

 

Last comment...there are cruise sites that will pair up single cruisers. This isn't meant as any sort of dating site, it is only to help reduce the cost for single cruisers. The singles booked with this site would naturally get to meet each other. That could work as an icebreaker to meeting people, but it is not necessarily an answer for you. We are not allowed on this site to name names of other travel agents, but if you go online and search for information on solo cruising, you will likely find what I am referring to.

 

hope this helps

have a great cruise if you go again

[BlueRiband]

Your post reminds me why NCL would not be for me.  The "free style" dining means that I would have to find dining companions for every meal.   There are two points however that raise some concerns.  You mentioned your "skin color".   No cruise line can filter out other passengers by their racial attitudes.  You also mentioned that others were treated better because they had more money.  You'll find that on any type of vacation those who pay more get more in terms of space, ammenities and service. 

 

If you want to continue cruising, I suggest that you look at lines that offer traditional fixed seating dining and ask to be seated at a large table.  That way you will have company.  Some ships also have "solo sailers" gatherings. 

Edited December 2, 2018 by BlueRiband

[LDVinNC]

I agree with the suggestions to go with ships that have fixed dining.  I used to cruise solo and I always seemed to meet nice people at my table.  Sometimes we'd meet for drinks before dinner, and once or twice I took a shore excursion with them.  You just have to give it a chance and not leave after two minutes.

[leaveitallbehind]

There is a big difference between cruising solo and a singles cruise, which may have been more what the OP was expecting.  The cruises they were on were not singles cruises and were not oriented toward bringing solo traveling passengers together.  Solo cruising is just that, and if there is an expectation to meet other people and join in activities together IMO it would be up to that solo cruiser to initiate that, rather than wait and expect to be asked.

 

 I would also add that short 3 day cruises typically are party cruises with couples and groups of people who are already acquainted and are traveling together with the intent of partying together.

Edited December 2, 2018 by leaveitallbehind

[NLH Arizona]

I always cruise solo and love it, as I can do what I want to do, when I want to do it.

 

It sounds like you are a very introverted person and won't make an attempt to meet others.  I've had no issues on my cruises (over 60) meeting people, except the first one, having dinner with people if I choose, going on excursions, etc.  If you want to meet people, sometimes you have to make the first move.  How about going to the buffet and asking someone sitting alone, if one of the seats at their table is taken and then ask them where they are from and how many cruises they have been on.  When you sit next to someone on the pool deck, just say hello how are you this beautiful day.  It takes effort if you are introverted, but the outcome can be very surprising.  

 

On NCL they have solo cabins on the bigger ships and there is a lounge where you can meet people and they also set up dinners.  I believe on Celebrity, they have a single event, as do other cruise lines.  I've never felt the need to do any of this, but some have posted very good experiences.  

 

BTW, my first solo cruise way back one was a disaster; didn't meet anyone, was sat at a table with three young couples who knew each other and really wasn't interested in talking with me (I did move to a table that was much better), but I gave it another try and on the next cruise, I happen to be sitting at a large table for dinner and one person at the table was in the same business I was in (sort of) and I made friends the first night.

[navybankerteacher]

NCL’s Freestyle makes it hard to interact with others.  On a couple of cruises, in spite of regularly asking to dine with others, we almost always were seated alone;  traditional dining is an essential to having interaction with others.  Also, 3 day cruises usually attract partiers - and, in any case, do not provide sufficient time to get to know people.  Everyone is in a rush to do whatever it is that they want to get done, and do not want to “waste” time getting to know strangers.  Longer cruises create an ambience which encourages interaction.

 

If OP is limited to short vacations, I would suggest finding other ways.

[NLH Arizona]

24 minutes ago, navybankerteacher said:

NCL’s Freestyle makes it hard to interact with others.  On a couple of cruises, in spite of regularly asking to dine with others, we almost always were seated alone;  traditional dining is an essential to having interaction with others.  Also, 3 day cruises usually attract partiers - and, in any case, do not provide sufficient time to get to know people.  Everyone is in a rush to do whatever it is that they want to get done, and do not want to “waste” time getting to know strangers.  Longer cruises create an ambience which encourages interaction.

 

If OP is limited to short vacations, I would suggest finding other ways.

Not for solos who sail in the solo cabins, where there is a lounge and a coordinator who sets up dinners, etc.  Not my style, but a great way if others want to meet folks.

[cb at sea]

I am not an "introvert", but taking a vacation alone simply doesn't appeal to me at all.  I like to share the fun....sounds like you'd enjoy that, too!

 

Wait until a friend can go with you on your next vacation, whether it's a cruise or something else.  I bet you'll have a much better time.

 

Being on a ship isn't like being in a "club"...it's like being in a resort hotel...just because you're in the same place with others, doesn't mean you are part of a "group".  Just know people weren't "ignoring" you on purpose...they were simply taking their vacation in their own way.

[Grandma Dazzles]

Sorry you didn’t enjoy your cruises. I think one of your mistakes was taking a short cruise. As others have said they are primarily booze cruises. 

 

Since my husband’s death I have cruised solo and enjoyed every cruise. I cruise primarily on Royal Caribbean and always 7 days, usually longer. 

 

Entertainment is good - I enjoy the ice show particularly. I make sure I request a large table and fixed dining time. I also frequently eat in the MDR for lunch and breakfast and request to sit at a large table. Always someone to talk to. 

 

Also so would recommend participating in trivia or similar games - trivia is a great way to meet people. 

 

Suggest joining your roll call. I often join a group on the roll call the night before boarding for dinner.  Smile at people!  Make noncontroversial conversation!  Ask for suggestions - I have found the majority of cruisers to be very friendly. 

[wdw1972]

I cruise solo most of the time, and prefer cruising solo more than my cruises with my husband.  I see several major mistakes, some of which others have pointed out.  First, a 3-day cruise is a piece of crap....you don't find quality passengers on those cruises, unless your interests are pretty much limited to getting drunk and staying drunk for the weekend <g>.  I wouldn't sail again on anything by NCL or Carnival even if they were giving it to me for free.  My vacation time isn't going to be wasted on a cruise that's less than I expect.  Reading the entire original post, I can't help but think the negative vibe the person was putting off was a much bigger factor than skin color.  I've never seen any issues related to skin color on any of my 40 cruises...just friendly people and a few curmudgeons here & there 😉  

 

If there's going to be a next time, stick to a cruise that's at least 7 nights, and go with a better cruise line (not hard to do - just about anything except Costa is better than NCL or Carnival).

 

Sue/WDW1972

[NLH Arizona]

4 minutes ago, wdw1972 said:

Reading the entire original post, I can't help but think the negative vibe the person was putting off was a much bigger factor than skin color.  I've never seen any issues related to skin color on any of my 40 cruises...just friendly people and a few curmudgeons here & there 😉  

 

I think a lot has to do with the OP wanting people to make the first move in introducing themselves or talking to her and if they don't, then the victim card for her skin color comes to her mind, instead of her thinking that it might be her that is sabotaging her from meeting people.  I don't think anyone cares what color her skin is or whether she has as much money as they do, but they do care if she looks and acts like she wants to meet other people.

[MCC retired]

A 3 night cruise can be a negative for most anyone traveling alone .

Too many party types . Try a longer cruise to have more opportunity to 

meet others . 

[Bizmark'sMom]

I cruise solo frequently, and I am definitely not a social butterfly!

1) 3 day cruises are for people who want to drink and party. Stick with 5 day or longer cruises unless you want to party.

2) I enjoy trivia, and there is always a team looking for another person.  It's an easy and fun way to talk to other people.

3) I deal with my social anxiety and ask to share tables in the buffet or main dining room.

 

I've met a few friends along the way. Mostly, though, I've had pleasant meals with others while on a trip that I wanted to take anyway.  There is nothing at a wrong with ordering a ginger ale to sip while socializing with other people.  My own cabin and book are waiting for me when I've hit my "interacting with people" level.

[gobfuse]

You're right - something has to be done about this, and you have to be the one to do it.  You have to be the first one to say 'hi' to people, and you may have to ask to join others, not the other way around.  The world owes none of us anything, and as a solo traveler, that means you may have to step outside your comfort zone and talk to people first.  I'm going on my first solo cruise at the end of next week for a week, and I can't wait.  I also book the thermal spa pass for seven days, so if I need to 'escape' from all the crowds and people, I'll have a nice, tranquil place to go.  I am not naturally an extrovert, but I'm going to go with the flow - I really don't expect anything - then, I won't be disappointed.  Ironically, not expecting anything feels so much more freeing than expecting the cruise or the other people on it to be a certain way, to me, or with themselves.  Attitude determines altitude :-)

[OCruisers]

Hate the bad time for you on your first two three day cruises on NCL and Carnival.

Possibly consider longer (at least 7 days) on another cruise line .... maybe Princess or Celebrity.  

Joining in any sort of group activity is a good thing to do ... just going to the same place every day so you'll meet others who will begin to know you.

This might not be your thing BUT sitting AT a bar on a bar stool  (not just in a bar) is a great way to make new friends ... folks who sit AT the bar tend to be chatty and love making friends.  

 

[Karysa]

Is there a board for single cruisers here on cc?  If not perhaps there should be. I would have a ton of questions if I was to take a cruise on my own?  

[bob brown]

1 hour ago, Karysa said:

Is there a board for single cruisers here on cc?  If not perhaps there should be. I would have a ton of questions if I was to take a cruise on my own?  

https://boards.cruisecritic.com/forum/85-singles-cruises/

 

https://boards.cruisecritic.com/forum/279-solo-cruisers/

 

Try both...

Edited December 3, 2018 by bob brown