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lenquixote66

Convincing people to cruise

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On February 3, 2019 at 12:42 PM, cb at sea said:

The more you "talk it up", if they do go, the less of a good time they will have.  What is so awesome and fun to YOU, may very well not be, to them.  I've found, the more you tell people about an experience, the less they find it to be so.

 

If they want to cruise, they will.

Maybe it is your way of describing the experience that puts people off.  I've found that sharing our cruising experiences makes people more interested in cruising.  No one want to go into a new situation knowing nothing.

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24 minutes ago, Rala said:

Maybe it is your way of describing the experience that puts people off.  I've found that sharing our cruising experiences makes people more interested in cruising.  No one want to go into a new situation knowing nothing.

OR, as I suggested earlier, WHAT Is being described. The range of cruise qualities and experiences is nothing less than HUGE. 

 

We have dear friends -some of whom we travel with in part because we prefer/expect the same quality of accommodations/food etc. Others of our friends have different means and likes, which could be a deal breaker for either them or us (regardless of land or sea).

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On 2/5/2019 at 11:03 AM, lenquixote66 said:

I feel sorry for all of you who believe I am wrong for trying to add pleasure to a persons life.

Life is short,embrace it.

When I read the posts before this, I have a better understanding of why you believe it's important that your friends cruise.

 

I just put my dad into assisted living. His whole life has changed and he's really not a happy guy anymore. I remember him as a strong, intelligent, talented, loving man and to see him this way today is absolutely heartbreaking.  I know he has fond memories of life the way it used to be since we talk about the good old days often.

 

Maybe your friends will surprise you and cruise to Alaska or some other wonderful place. Then, once they come home with their thousands of photos and some souvenirs, you have every right to say, "I told you so!"

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Many years ago we would try to convince friends that they should try cruising.  But we quickly learned that the cruising lifestyle (and sometimes even travel) does not fit everyone's idea of where they want to be.  We have friends that do not like being constrained on ships.  Others that would rather travel on land where they can do their own thing at their own pace (we also like this kind of travel).  And then we have friends who love great food and wine which is not to be found on any ship.  Yes, I know that some lines have excellent food (by cruise standards) but this still does not rise to the level of the top land-based restaurants.

 

DW and I love both cruising and DIY land travel.  Cruising fits my own tendency to be lazy :).  But land travel best fulfills my spirit of adventure both in where we go as well as cuisine/wine.   We often try to combine these two passions with a longer cruise and also a pre/post cruise extended land trip.

 

Hank

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Everyone is different.  Some like cruising, some don't.  Some like independent traveling, some prefer tours.

 

Some are flexible, some more rigid.  Some like X food, some hate it.

 

Why would you ever try to impress YOUR desires and likes on someone else?  Yes, describe how much you enjoy it and why.  Offer to help them if the do try it.  But if they don't want to, then Oh well.  

 

Actually, they may just be being polite by just saying know.  And continued pressure may lose you a friend.  Is it worth that?

 

 

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Unless you know your friends are the type of people who would be miserable on a cruise I don't think you're being unreasonable. They've traveled extensively and have done so they way they prefer. You're not asking them to squander their rare vacation opportunity on something they might not like. Since they've never cruised they can't say they hate it. And even if they have no false preconceptions about what cruising is like and can reasonably say they would prefer to do something else you are just asking them to do something a wide variety of people enjoy. And yes, it is possible that if they do go they will have a bad time, but that can happen on any vacation. This one time they should be willing this time to forgo their ideal vacation for a pretty good one with a dear friend. 

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1 hour ago, Silverspringcruiser said:

Unless you know your friends are the type of people who would be miserable on a cruise I don't think you're being unreasonable. They've traveled extensively and have done so they way they prefer. You're not asking them to squander their rare vacation opportunity on something they might not like. Since they've never cruised they can't say they hate it. And even if they have no false preconceptions about what cruising is like and can reasonably say they would prefer to do something else you are just asking them to do something a wide variety of people enjoy. And yes, it is possible that if they do go they will have a bad time, but that can happen on any vacation. This one time they should be willing this time to forgo their ideal vacation for a pretty good one with a dear friend. 

 

I don't know.  Asking someone to skip their ideal vacation to appease someone else's preferences does not seem like a request a friend should push very hard.  

 

 

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1 hour ago, ldubs said:

 

I don't know.  Asking someone to skip their ideal vacation to appease someone else's preferences does not seem like a request a friend should push very hard.  

 

 

By "ideal" I don't mean "perfect" or "once in a lifetime". I just mean one that meets all their criteria for a vacation. If this well-traveled couple's friend with limited traveling options wants to take this one cruise with them they can be more accommodating.

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4 hours ago, Silverspringcruiser said:

By "ideal" I don't mean "perfect" or "once in a lifetime". I just mean one that meets all their criteria for a vacation. If this well-traveled couple's friend with limited traveling options wants to take this one cruise with them they can be more accommodating.

 

Sure, I understood what you were saying.  IMO someone should not be coerced into something they don't want to do.   When folks keep pushing something that was politely declined things can become uncomfortable.  

      

 

 

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I think it has been assumed that the OP wants to take a cruise with these friends but has actually only said that he wants the friends to enjoy the things he is no longer able to do. Wanting to take one last holiday with friends might be a little different.

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It never ceases to amaze me how people seem to know exactly the perfect way for me to do things the "right way." 

 

I lost a friend because he wouldn't stop badgering me over the perfect "self awareness," seminar that would save my life.

 

Move on .... cruising is not for everyone. Thanks for that, too - if everyone wanted to do it, there would be way less options for far more cost.

 

Let your friends be and celebrate what you have in common.

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On 2/5/2019 at 2:03 PM, lenquixote66 said:

I feel sorry for all of you who believe I am wrong for trying to add pleasure to a persons life.

Life is short,embrace it.

What can I do to convince you that pottery making is the only true way to happiness and the one pure way of relaxation to its' fullest, and if you don't believe me, it clearly means you have no desire to add pleasure to your life.

 

Does that make you feel good inside? Point: Be nicer to your friends, as long as you get to have them.

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I am an avid picture taker.  I take pictures of all of our cruises and land trips.  I then make online books to be printed.  I treasure those books of our past vacation and look at them frequently.  I do realize the books do not mean much to others.  Sometimes I'll offer to show a book to friends and family if we are talking of travels. (no, I don't ask everyone that comes over to look at my books, in fact it's rare.)   If they show an interest, we go from there.  In some cases they ask to see my latest book, because they just like to see our adventures, but are not travelers.   Never would I want to travel with someone that doesn't seem to care about a specific mode of traveling.  They have their own reasons, sea-sickness, finances, family issues, work schedules.... whatever is not my business.  We will continue to travel with friends that enjoy it, or just the two of us. We can always meet new friends, especially on a cruise ship.    

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4 hours ago, printingchick said:

I gave my then boyfriend/now husband a cruise as a birthday gift. Kind of hard to refuse a hugely generous gift! He loves cruising now!

 

What would you have done and what effect would it have had on your relationship if he had hated it.  Just my opinion and you lucked out but giving a cruise to someone is a really bad idea.  I can personally think of lots of travel options that I would have refused to go in even if someone gave me the trip for free.

 

DON

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15 hours ago, donaldsc said:

 

What would you have done and what effect would it have had on your relationship if he had hated it.  Just my opinion and you lucked out but giving a cruise to someone is a really bad idea.  I can personally think of lots of travel options that I would have refused to go in even if someone gave me the trip for free.

 

DON

 

So True!   

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On 2/22/2019 at 7:07 PM, donaldsc said:

 

What would you have done and what effect would it have had on your relationship if he had hated it.  Just my opinion and you lucked out but giving a cruise to someone is a really bad idea.  I can personally think of lots of travel options that I would have refused to go in even if someone gave me the trip for free.

 

DON

 

Maybe if she loved cruising and he hated it, it would be better to find out BEFORE the wedding. 😄

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3 hours ago, SRF said:

 

Maybe if she loved cruising and he hated it, it would be better to find out BEFORE the wedding. 😄

 

Good point.

 

DON

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On 2/3/2019 at 9:26 AM, lenquixote66 said:

True,but I have yet to meet anyone who hated cruising ,have you ?

My husband. Bless him, he just does not enjoy it.  I cruise with my sisters and its our way to connecting every year since we live in different states.  🙂

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The whole idea reminds me of those various misguided, obnoxious religeous zealots who knock on our door from time to time.  May as well bang your head against the wall for all the good that it will do.

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I love to cruise, have cruised a couple times with friends who agreed to go along with me.  Some people catch the cruise bug, others don't.  One friend has gone on 3 cruises with me, she thinks they are ok but it's not her ideal vacation.   The other never cruised again.

If a friend is somewhat positive about going and trying it, then fine.  But I'd never pressure someone or try to talk them into it.  If they don't like it & spend a lot of money - it could strain the friendship.  Even more so if they were pressured into it.  No cruise is perfect and there will always be something to fault.  I don't want to be the one trying to defend a problem that wasn't my making - I think it's asking for trouble to push someone on going.  

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