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How should I have handled getting ''ghosted''.


dolittle
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52 minutes ago, TeeRick said:

Agree that this is the best solution.  You might even make new friends and possible table mates in the line waiting for Select dining.

 

Bringing up waiting in line we have done that many times waiting to check in.  We will talk to the passengers around us and then it seems as if we are constantly coming across them on board during the cruise

 

happy cruising 🌊🚢🇺🇸🌅

 

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To everyone that says just ask the MaitreD to be moved, I tried that when we were the only ones at a table for 8 and was told that there really was no place to put us. And I did say something the first night. Understandably, they had to give the others a chance to show up. It wasn't until midway through the cruise that they contacted them to find that they didn't want to eat late so had been eating in Lido. By then we were stuck. But I had made it known that we had wanted table mates.

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I confess on one cruise some time ago we were one of the 'no show' culprits.  We had asked for a large table as we like to meet people on our cruises when traveling alone as a couple.  Once we had booked, we decided to try a 5 night specialty dining package as we had never done that before.  By that time, it was too late for us to change our table to a two top as none were available.   We felt guilty for not showing up, but at that point we were kinda stuck.  

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We have been on several cruises and tried all the dining options (just the two of us, a set table of 6 or 8, moving around every night, etc.).  We've enjoyed all of them and have met some great friends that way (and had some very good talks with just each other, too).  We usually book a few specialty dinners for variety, so there are some nights we aren't in the MDR.  It's just a meal, so we don't worry if we, or others, don't show.   On a side note, the most interesting and challenging cruise dinner experience we had was the cruise we were on when Trump was elected.  We had a set table of 6 couples, and....you guessed it!!  Two were diehard Trump supporters, and the other two were diehard Trump haters.  We sat between them (we two Canadians) and watched the fireworks and tried to control the damage.  On a two week cruise, it got to the point where the two couples wouldn't come to dinner if we weren't there.  We always told them the day before if we weren't attending the next night.  

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The last cruise we were on we had late seating and had asked for a large table. We were given a table of twelve.  We went the first night and there were two young couples sitting at the end of the table.  We started to sit next to them and we were told that we needed to sit at the other end because the other seats were saved for the rest of their family.  We were able to change to select dining.

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we have cruised many times and always get late seating table for two. being that we socialize with anybody during the day, and by the way have had a blast every time, when dinner rolls around we enjoy just the two of us. we people watch in the dining room and are usually entertained just by how some groups can really cut up. plus we establish a nice closer relationship with the waiter and his/her assistant.

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5 hours ago, TMLAalum said:

 

In addition to the conversation dominator, we've encountered the Great Inquisitor, a man who persisted in asking who we voted for in the last presidential election. We spent that dinner dodging his repeated questioning. Luckily for us we were doing HAL's version of select dining so we only had to endure one meal with him.

 

Tell the Great Inquisitor that you don't vote because you believe voting only encourages politicians.

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I would never feel guilty about not showing up.  The cruise line should be able to figure out who is going to be where in general and react appropriately.  Like for the person who booked the specialty dining: they could set aside a small table for them knowing that for so many nights, they were not going to be in the MDR.  Or better yet, assign people with dining packages to Select dining instead of Fixed.  Or insist that if you want Fixed dining, you have to be willing to sit with someone else.  There are many ways they could change how this is managed and be much more efficient.  Instead, X brings a lot of this on themselves because they follow the path of least resistance, assign everyone a spot, and then deal with the necessary changes as they arise, not caring that a lot of people would prefer to not sit at a giant table by themselves. 

 

They really should make people confirm their dining plans in advance and then manage the room that way rather than relying on a system they used a decade ago when more people ate in the MDR every night.  Or, just get rid of Fixed dining altogether and move to anytime dining for the whole restaurant.  That would solve a lot of these problems, too.

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We were once at a table for twelve and all the other people showed up.  Unfortunately they were all Russian and no one tried to speak English even though they all lived in  LA.

 

Having everyone showing up is not necessarily a good thing.

 

 

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10 minutes ago, Arno. said:

We were once at a table for twelve and all the other people showed up.  Unfortunately they were all Russian and no one tried to speak English even though they all lived in  LA.

 

Having everyone showing up is not necessarily a good thing.

 

 

 

Oh that would be awkward.

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On 8/26/2019 at 9:12 AM, dolittle said:

Just got off the Equinox yesterday (I will have a lot to say but this first) . We chose traditional after having great table mates on our last two cruises. First night a nice couple and two no show couples at a table for eight, nice people got along great . Second night our server says ''they bought the 3 night up sell package. For the next six nights no one show up but my wife and I at a table for eight. I wondering has this ever happend to you and how did you deal with this .We felt kind of goofy at this huge table all by our selves . 

Yep we usually request a table for two, one cruise we were sat at a table for 8, just me and her, it wasn’t till the last night that we had any table mates, that night the table was full.

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3 hours ago, bEwAbG said:

I would never feel guilty about not showing up.  The cruise line should be able to figure out who is going to be where in general and react appropriately.  Like for the person who booked the specialty dining: they could set aside a small table for them knowing that for so many nights, they were not going to be in the MDR.  Or better yet, assign people with dining packages to Select dining instead of Fixed.  Or insist that if you want Fixed dining, you have to be willing to sit with someone else.  There are many ways they could change how this is managed and be much more efficient.  Instead, X brings a lot of this on themselves because they follow the path of least resistance, assign everyone a spot, and then deal with the necessary changes as they arise, not caring that a lot of people would prefer to not sit at a giant table by themselves. 

 

They really should make people confirm their dining plans in advance and then manage the room that way rather than relying on a system they used a decade ago when more people ate in the MDR every night.  Or, just get rid of Fixed dining altogether and move to anytime dining for the whole restaurant.  That would solve a lot of these problems, too.

Eventually traditional dining will go by the waste side like the rest of the cruise line traditions. However, I do agree with you. If someone buys a meal plan why are they allowed to be booked in traditional dining if they won't be there 5 out of 7 nights.  We had my time dining on Royal Caribbean. On the second formal night we were placed in the traditional dining room because my time was backed up. If they can't fill a traditional dining room on formal night then I can't imagine that it would be filled on the other nights.

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I travel alone, and have had that happen to me. First night, ate by myself at a table for 6. No big deal, first night often has people either getting a specialty discount, or busy unpacking. Second night, formal night (pre-evening chic), all dressed up, and still alone at my table for 6. The people at the nearby tables were very nice, encouraging me to join them (even though there were no spare seats - they would have scooted over). The waiter was amazingly attentive. Before my entree got there, the maitre d' was at my table asking me if I wanted to relocate for the rest of the cruise. I did, and ended up at one of the best tables I've ever had on a cruise. 

 

I do traditional, because I like to sit with people and get to know them over the course of a cruise. Other than the experience above, I only had to request a table change one time. Rectangular table of 10 - two family groups at either end (not interested in talking to others) and me in the middle across the table from two Russian girls, who seemed nice, but didn't appear to speak a word of English. 

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21 hours ago, pd7277 said:

Simply ask to be moved to another table.  We have done it for numerous reasons (no other people, language barrier, poor lighting, obnoxious table mates).  We too want to meet others while on board.  We have dinner for two almost every other night of the year!

 

p.s. Did you attend the CC Connection Party?  Dying to know when and where it was held.

Did not attend the roll call was dead and only had eight pages.

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40 minutes ago, dolittle said:

Did not attend the roll call was dead and only had eight pages.

Sorry to hear that.  I enjoy running a roll call.  We are at page 34 with just over 100 signed up for the Connection Party, with 7 weeks to go.  Hope you have better luck next time.

 

 

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4 hours ago, bEwAbG said:

I would never feel guilty about not showing up.  The cruise line should be able to figure out who is going to be where in general and react appropriately.  Like for the person who booked the specialty dining: they could set aside a small table for them knowing that for so many nights, they were not going to be in the MDR.  Or better yet, assign people with dining packages to Select dining instead of Fixed.  Or insist that if you want Fixed dining, you have to be willing to sit with someone else.  There are many ways they could change how this is managed and be much more efficient.  Instead, X brings a lot of this on themselves because they follow the path of least resistance, assign everyone a spot, and then deal with the necessary changes as they arise, not caring that a lot of people would prefer to not sit at a giant table by themselves. 

 

They really should make people confirm their dining plans in advance and then manage the room that way rather than relying on a system they used a decade ago when more people ate in the MDR every night.  Or, just get rid of Fixed dining altogether and move to anytime dining for the whole restaurant.  That would solve a lot of these problems, too.

 

This is why it has been suggested in the past to have a no dining assignment or something similar so that a seat is not held for those who will not use it.  Much debate over which should be chosen if this is the case.  If they choose traditional you have the situation in the original post, if they choose select, which appears to be the more popular, it takes slots away from those that want them.  A no win however you look at it.  Times are changing and the cruise lines need to recognize that and adjust accordingly. 

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Agreed. Since everyone gets a spot in the MDR, if they never plan to utilize it (prefer Lido, specialty, whatever), there should be an option to select "No MDR". 

 

With that said, I generally only do specialty one night. I wouldn't feel guilty skipping that night in the MDR (after letting my waiter know).

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On 8/26/2019 at 11:37 AM, phoenix_dream said:

I confess on one cruise some time ago we were one of the 'no show' culprits.  We had asked for a large table as we like to meet people on our cruises when traveling alone as a couple.  Once we had booked, we decided to try a 5 night specialty dining package as we had never done that before.  By that time, it was too late for us to change our table to a two top as none were available.   We felt guilty for not showing up, but at that point we were kinda stuck.  

 

Couldn't you call customer service and tell them that you no longer needed the large table?  That you were eating elsewhere?

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23 minutes ago, zitsky said:

 

Couldn't you call customer service and tell them that you no longer needed the large table?  That you were eating elsewhere?

Customer service has nothing to do with it.  The maître d' said there were no longer any 2 tops available.  That was before the days of Select Dining or we would have asked to switch to that.

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On 8/26/2019 at 12:26 AM, chemmo said:

 

Agree...We always requested a table for just our family when we dined in the MDR.

 

Large tables have certain other risks as well as no show guests...

 

The ‘conversation dominator’

The ‘I will complain about everything’ person

The waiter who doesn’t want to take your order when you sit down because he wants to see if others show up.

The guest who eats sooo sloooow your meal takes forever.

 

We often by a few days into a cruise are arranging to meet new friends for pre or post dinner drinks and we will sometimes arrange to dine with them. Much better than being randomly assigned to strangers...

What about the person that orders every appetizer, & every entree (just to taste) wants them served separately so they can enjoy the experience. This was a table of 6. The waiter (poor guy) was trying to keep a decent flow (wasn’t happening). After the third appetizer appeared I suggested that the rest of us be served our entree (the waiter looked relieved). The one ordering everything said well I suppose you want me to move to another table. We all agreed that would likely be best. 

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On 8/26/2019 at 5:27 PM, ChiGal1962 said:

I travel alone, and have had that happen to me. First night, ate by myself at a table for 6. No big deal, first night often has people either getting a specialty discount, or busy unpacking. Second night, formal night (pre-evening chic), all dressed up, and still alone at my table for 6. The people at the nearby tables were very nice, encouraging me to join them (even though there were no spare seats - they would have scooted over). The waiter was amazingly attentive. Before my entree got there, the maitre d' was at my table asking me if I wanted to relocate for the rest of the cruise. I did, and ended up at one of the best tables I've ever had on a cruise. 

 

I do traditional, because I like to sit with people and get to know them over the course of a cruise. Other than the experience above, I only had to request a table change one time. Rectangular table of 10 - two family groups at either end (not interested in talking to others) and me in the middle across the table from two Russian girls, who seemed nice, but didn't appear to speak a word of English. 

Feel free to join us.  We like meeting new people.

We've been very lucky with the Select your own time dining.  We ended up in the same section, with the same wait team and same group of folks every night for 15 days.....we may have shifted tables (2-10 seats) but eventually got to know a real nice bunch of folks.  It helped that we tended to get to the table at the same time each night....not sure with having choices on this ship how that will work but looking forward to the cruise...

Kate and Doug

Goodyear, Arizona 

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We've had variations of this issue over many years of cruising.  The folks who never showed at all. The folks who came a night or two and said " we're eating with friends" etc.  We look for a small table of 4 or 6 and it can be challenging when the others don't turn up.  One cruise our table was near the Captains table (Royal) and he came and asked us where the others were.  Quick as a flash hubby said " I ate them".  Non plussed, the Captain retreated without comment...

 

I think if it troubles you, wait a night or two and then follow up with the Maitre.  You can choose to move or to stay.  If they say there is no room to move, follow up with guest services.   We wait it out.  Often folks will turn up only for formal night ( Chic night) and disappear again.  Don't take it personally.  Sometimes folks develop agendas like Casino or swimming or early show so they can disco or ballroom dance.  It's hard when you hope to meet someone but it can be hard when someone turns up all the time when you would like to have a change.  A recent cruise  we had someone with dementia.  I admire the spouse soldiering on but dinner could be an ordeal and they were not often missing in action. We live, we learn.

 

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We ended up at a table for 8 on the first night with the rest as no shows. The maitre d came over and asked if we would like to be relocated. We stuck it out the first night. On the second night it looked like it would happen again so we asked to be relocated at that time. That was many many years ago and when select dining came along we got on board with that and never looked back.  I agree that the two tops are close enough that you can talk to others if you wish without it being awkward if you also decide to just keep to yourselves. We enjoy the flexibility of select dining. 

 

Mary Ann

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