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4 hours ago, Merion_Mom said:

 

 

This is truly an EXCELLENT idea!!!!

I was in the market for a new one! Now you can watch your toast toast!

 

image.png.071860d285988925700f3777d20b9aa4.png

Edited by Sheal
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Found on FB, you ungrateful lot

 

TEMPTATIONS
In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, and with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums. And Satan said "You want hot fudge with that? And Man said "Yes!" And Woman said "I'll have it with chocolate chips and nuts too".
And lo, they gained 10 pounds.
And God created healthy yogurt so that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 16. And God said "Try my fresh green salad". And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God said "I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them".
And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter. And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.
Then verily, God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition. Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds.
God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds.
And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.
Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger. Then Satan said "You want fries with that?" and Man replied "Not ard and supersize those little lovelies please".
And Satan said "It is good" And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed ......... and created quadruple by-pass surgery.
Satan then chuckled and created the National Health Service.
 
FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION
 
1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4. Italians drink red wine excessively and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
5. Germans drink beer, eat lots of sausages and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
 
CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink whatever you like.
Speaking English is obviously what kills you.
 

 

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13 hours ago, PompeySailor said:

Seeing as it is breakfast time, do it properly 🇬🇧 

The Hash brown is to add a little 🇺🇸 touch to it

3D863303-5300-48B4-9601-72BD729D5F97.jpeg

PompeySailor, looks like the breakfast one can get at The Lady Hamilton on The Hard...and that’s no joke! Cheers! CV...

Edited by Crown Vic
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