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4 minutes ago, 2chiefs said:

image.png.6a0fb7cc480516116cd685e61ea94352.png

Let's hope they don't skimp on the cruise crew's salaries when they return to business.

 

I see ingenuity 

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Found on FB

 

Two Canadians die and end up in Hell.  Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing.  Confused, he asks them why they're happy.
They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."
Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue.  Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.
"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"
Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.
He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.
He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"
They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"

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This is silly, they all come from FB😉

 

A balding, white haired man walked into a jewellery store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweller he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweller looked through his stock and brought out a £15,000 ring.

The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special. Price is immaterial.
At that statement, the jeweller went to his special stock and brought another ring over.'Here's a stunning ring at only £125,000' the jeweller said. "It's the famous Azure Blue which belonged to a Maharajah."

The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. Seeing this, the old man said,'We'll take it.'

The jeweller asked how payment would be made and the man stated,

'By cheque. I know you need to make sure my cheque is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds; I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.'

On Monday morning, the by jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said

'Sir..There's no money in that account!'

'''I know,'said the old man...'But let me tell you about my weekend.'"

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2 hours ago, vettprincess said:

Where in the heck do you get these one-liners? Old comedians for sure>



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24 minutes ago, A&L_Ont said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Too soon.  😉 

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3 hours ago, 2chiefs said:

image.png.244872cde85db447fe9ec6966b7e5e40.png


Ouch.  Looks like he is about to get a second crack.

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1 hour ago, Merion_Mom said:

 

 

Too soon.  😉 

 

Humor is always funny.

 

Another friend got a job as a postman. On his first day, he was handed a letter. He looked at it, and thought “this isn’t for me”.

 

Got stuck for ages behind Satan in the queue at the Post Office. For the devil takes many forms.

 

What do you get if you cross a werewolf with a dog? A terrified postman.

 

A friend of mine lost his job as a postman. He just wasn’t delivering the goods.

 

A friend knew life would be hard as a postman on his first day. They gave him the sack.

 

Stamps. They sit in the corner and do nothing all day and somehow still travel all over the world.

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Here's some more

 

Went to the postcard museum the other week. Nothing to write home about.

 

Local shop has a sign saying “Stamps sold by the book”. Good to know they follow the rules.

 

I don’t know why my dog gets so excited when she sees the postman. It’s almost never for her.

 

I was going to apply for a job as a postman but it turns out I forgot to post the application.

 

Delighted that the postman finally delivered the book I ordered, “How to make your own watch”. It’s about time.

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I just got fired from the post office

My supervisor took me into his office and we actually had a really good conversation. He told me that I wasn't meeting expectations in my current position, and that they didn't have any other jobs open at the moment. I said that I could see where he was coming from, and that I had no hard feelings. I just wanted to know if there was anything I could work on so that I can do better in my next job. He was very kind and gave me a few tips to improve myself. He was very kind and said that he would definitely be able to recommend me for any jobs I might get outside of the post office. But he also said that I had one glaring problem which made me completely unsuitable to post office work. Apparently, I need to work on my delivery.

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Mike walked into a Post Office just before Valentine’s Day

He couldn’t help noticing a middle-aged, balding man standing in a corner sticking “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them.  Then the man got out a bottle of Channel perfume from his pocket and started spraying scent over the envelopes.

By now Mike’s curiosity had got the better of him, and so I asked the man why he was sending all those cards.  The man replied, “I’m sending out 500 Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?'”

“But why?” asked Mike.

“I’m a divorce lawyer,” the man replied.

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Posted (edited)

And my last one.

FWIW, These are as prevalent as lawyer jokes

 

Why don't women work* at the post office?

It's a mail dominated industry.
 
*and yes I know women work at the post office. It just makes a good pun.
 
 
Edited by John&LaLa

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9 hours ago, John&LaLa said:

FB_IMG_1598579301254.jpg.c88292bc0f7879c949d80fe3292dd163.jpg

 

I have feeling we're goin to be seeing A LOT of these in the coming months.

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