Remarried a Non cruiser and have agreed to only 4 cruises after retirement

[Chas2crews]

I was a big cruise fan in the first marriage, so much so that I had been saving up in a special account to cruise 7 nights 2-3 times a year in retirement.  Those cruises would have been balconies on RCCL, NCL and Celebrity.  In my second marriage, the spouse is a committed non cruiser. Now I have agreed as a compromise to cruise, solo, only four times once retired, probably in the first 2 years, and then hang up the deck shoes.  I have already been on a ship to all seven continents so my plan is to do 12 to 24 nights each in inside cabins on Oceania, Azamara, Seabourn and Silversea, thus going out in a premium cruise blaze of glory to maybe hit the Panama Canal, Suez Canal and other highlights.  Thoughts or suggestions on this plan are appreciated as I am probably not the first in such a mixed marriage. 

[hloakes]

You should have covered this in a prenup. 😉

[Chas2crews]

Agreed, though I still don’t see it as a game changer.  After 34 years in the first one, I am learning to pick my battles!

[iancal]

You can always cruise solo or with a friend if your spouse is not keen.

 

I want to visit India. My spouse is not so inclined.   Easy solution.  I will do a solo trip and meet up with her afterwards at a winter destination.  

Edited October 6, 2020 by iancal

[LuckyStar]

On 10/3/2020 at 8:40 PM, Chas2crews said:

I was a big cruise fan in the first marriage, so much so that I had been saving up in a special account to cruise 7 nights 2-3 times a year in retirement.  Those cruises would have been balconies on RCCL, NCL and Celebrity.  In my second marriage, the spouse is a committed non cruiser. Now I have agreed as a compromise to cruise, solo, only four times once retired, probably in the first 2 years, and then hang up the deck shoes.  I have already been on a ship to all seven continents so my plan is to do 12 to 24 nights each in inside cabins on Oceania, Azamara, Seabourn and Silversea, thus going out in a premium cruise blaze of glory to maybe hit the Panama Canal, Suez Canal and other highlights.  Thoughts or suggestions on this plan are appreciated as I am probably not the first in such a mixed marriage. 

I am married to a non cruiser.  He does cruise with me intermittently but he can take it or leave it.  I cruise with my sisters or I will cruise solo.  No way he'd make me hang up my deck shoes.  But no way I'd force him to cruise if he didn't want to go. You can make this work if he doesn't mind you traveling alone or with others. 

[Chas2crews]

I think my hope is to get to where you are, Lucky Star, but I am willing to give it up if that’s what it takes. I have a little time before retirement, so the book still needs to be drafted.  

[WAMarathoner]

Can you convince her to take ONE cruise to a place of her choosing, and then agree to abide by her limits?  Hopefully after she experiences a good cruise, she'll be hooked, too.  (Especially if you can afford one of the luxury lines!)

[Chas2crews]

Thanks for the suggestion. As far as I have gotten is an overnight ferry from Maine to Nova Scotia.  She is pretty firm, but I hope pictures and descriptions (especially of the dining) from a luxury cruise that I do solo might soften her up.  Unlikely, but it is a hope.

[SargassoPirate]

I have just under 50 cruises under my belt while She Who Must Be Obeyed has around 44.  I have taken several cruises without her, sometimes with friends or relatives and sometimes not.  She sometimes takes "girlfriend" trips without me.  We are secure in our relationship and when we both retired we agreed that if there is an opportunity to do something we'll go for it.

 

Several years ago I had been watching an Around the Horn cruise on Princess and was checking the prices almost every morning.  She Who Must Be Obeyed had no interest in the cruise.  One morning, perhaps through a glitch on the Princess website, the price for an inside had dropped 50%.  I booked it immediately.  When SWMBO got up, I told her what I had done and said "I'll miss you for 49 days, but if I don't do this cruise, I'll regret it forever".  

 

Mark Twain said something to the effect that twenty years from now you'll regret more the things you didn't do than the things you did.

 

I think I would renegotiate that post marriage four cruise limit.

 

 

[chipmaster]

Sounds like a third marriage is in the horizon, LOL

[Chas2crews]

God forbid, Chip, but it certainly would be a shipboard ceremony!

[Chas2crews]

Hey, Pirate, I love your story.  It all may develop to a model similar to yours, so we will see. I plan to enjoy the heck out of the four, so more cruises may be out of the question as
 I blast through the cruise budget on premium/luxury cruises (normally out of my range.)

[SargassoPirate]

On 10/12/2020 at 10:40 AM, Chas2crews said:

Hey, Pirate, I love your story.  It all may develop to a model similar to yours, so we will see. I plan to enjoy the heck out of the four, so more cruises may be out of the question as
 I blast through the cruise budget on premium/luxury cruises (normally out of my range.)

 

 

Hopefully you'll be able to renegotiate that four cruise limit.  I can tell you this, She Who Must Be Obeyed and I are thankful every day that we decided long ago not to put anything off.  We are friends with several couples who are starting to express regrets about things that they should've done when they had a chance and now they can't for one reason or another. 

 

Good luck with your travels.

[iancal]

Not being able to travel because of covid has really hit home with us.  We are in our late 60’s

 

There are still many destinations on our bucket list.  Once covid is behind us we plan to increase our travel schedule.  Time is running out.  We want to do as much independent land travel as we can while we have our health and the desire.  It will mean a few solo trips for me.

Edited October 15, 2020 by iancal

[Chas2crews]

Great point, Ian.  I am planning to front load as much as I can once retired, and then reassess what other travel.  The four planned cruises I will hopefully get a lot out of in those first couple of years not punching the clock.  

[iancal]

Since retiring eight years ago cruises have always been a last minute add on or interlude from an extended land trip.  We find that a cruise is a great way to break up a few months of land  travel. 

 

The only exception has been a SA cruise.  Then we organized six weeks of independent pre/post cruise travel around the cruise.

 

If we happen to be travelling in easy reach of a cruise port we tend to shop and see what last minute balcony cabins offers are available.  If we see something attractive at the right price we grab it.  If not, we carry on with our land plans.  We typically only plan a few days in advance so prior reservations/commitments are seldom interfere with this.

[Chas2crews]

On 10/20/2020 at 1:46 PM, iancal said:

Since retiring eight years ago cruises have always been a last minute add on or interlude from an extended land trip.  We find that a cruise is a great way to break up a few months of land  travel. 

 

The only exception has been a SA cruise.  Then we organized six weeks of independent pre/post cruise travel around the cruise.

 

If we happen to be travelling in easy reach of a cruise port we tend to shop and see what last minute balcony cabins offers are available.  If we see something attractive at the right price we grab it.  If not, we carry on with our land plans.  We typically only plan a few days in advance so prior reservations/commitments are seldom interfere with this.

I like this plan, Ian. We do a lot of land trips, but rarely do anything spontaneously. Ideally, that will change in retirement. Even under my cruise limit, we probably will Land  travel near the embarkation or debarkation port. She just won’t be on the ship in between. 

[iancal]

When travelling it is not unusual for us to book two or three days in advance and only for two nights.  Unless of course it is somewhere we are familiar with.

 

Last winter we spent seven weeks travelling around Mexico by bus and plane.  We thought that we would spend a week or two in Huatulco.  Fortunately we only booked two nights because it was not what we expected.  We were able to move on.  There were other places where we booked for two nights but stayed for 7 or eight because we enjoyed it so much.   We were thinking of picking up a last minute cruise on the way home  but covid changed our plans!  Fortunately no firm reservations, no refund cancellation issues.   This is very different from our pre retirement business and leisure travel.

 

 

[Chas2crews]

On 10/22/2020 at 10:46 AM, iancal said:

When travelling it is not unusual for us to book two or three days in advance and only for two nights.  Unless of course it is somewhere we are familiar with.

 

Last winter we spent seven weeks travelling around Mexico by bus and plane.  We thought that we would spend a week or two in Huatulco.  Fortunately we only booked two nights because it was not what we expected.  We were able to move on.  There were other places where we booked for two nights but stayed for 7 or eight because we enjoyed it so much.   We were thinking of picking up a last minute cruise on the way home  but covid changed our plans!  Fortunately no firm reservations, no refund cancellation issues.   This is very different from our pre retirement business and leisure travel.

 

 

This sounds like a perfect plan, Ian.    We can suffer through almost anything for two nights, but how much fun to extend for more if you actually like it or learn of more to visit Nearby.  Not necessarily for this thread, but maybe you could go through how you manage health, personal safety and finances when you’re going with the flow as you describe. 

[iancal]

Easy.  We are both in good health.   We moved everything to the internet when first retired.  We are aware of our surroundings, keep a low profile, and are careful where and how we travel.   We buy currency in country, we research which banks/ATMs have lower service charges, and we use credit cards (several).  No different than any other type of travel...business or pre retirement leisure.

[Chas2crews]

5 hours ago, iancal said:

Easy.  We are both in good health.   We moved everything to the internet when first retired.  We are aware of our surroundings, keep a low profile, and are careful where and how we travel.   We buy currency in country, we research which banks/ATMs have lower service charges, and we use credit cards (several).  No different than any other type of travel...business or pre retirement leisure.

Excellent pointers, Ian.  I assume you carry some sort of personal hotspot for internet access?

[Mary229]

I come from a family of travelers.  My father went as far as buying one sister a travel agency so he could have comped travel.   I married into a family of homebodies.  The DH is happy to drive anywhere as long as he can spend a day or two indulging his  own hobbies though he is getting tired of that too.  Curiously he likes cruises but only long cruises - at least 30 days.   He will not fly transoceanic and has told me after our last flight to South America that I was on my own except long cruises.  I am happy to travel with my sisters. I have not done solo yet since I have always had willing travel partners. 
 

when we married 40 years ago we agreed we were adults and we should not stand in the way of someone else’s fun, within the the traditional concept of marriage😉,  yet neither should we expect the other to participate. It has worked for us. 

[Chas2crews]

14 hours ago, Mary229 said:

I come from a family of travelers.  My father went as far as buying one sister a travel agency so he could have comped travel.   I married into a family of homebodies.  The DH is happy to drive anywhere as long as he can spend a day or two indulging his  own hobbies though he is getting tired of that too.  Curiously he likes cruises but only long cruises - at least 30 days.   He will not fly transoceanic and has told me after our last flight to South America that I was on my own except long cruises.  I am happy to travel with my sisters. I have not done solo yet since I have always had willing travel partners. 
 

when we married 40 years ago we agreed we were adults and we should not stand in the way of someone else’s fun, within the the traditional concept of marriage😉,  yet neither should we expect the other to participate. It has worked for us. 

Great story, Mary, and I love the dad buying the travel agency.   I will get some of these luxury cruises under my belt and see where we end up.  Nothing happens until we get Covid under control anyway, so it may be that by then, I will have changed hearts and minds.  We will see.  

[iancal]

17 hours ago, Chas2crews said:

Excellent pointers, Ian.  I assume you carry some sort of personal hotspot for internet access?

 

We travel with ipads.  For the first trip, seven months, we had one ipad between us.  After that we purchased a second.  Now one each.  The only time we have had issues with internet is in the Philippines.  We seldom bother with a cell phone.

 

 The only items that we consider to be critical and that we double check are the ipads, our passports, a camera, our plastic for ATM access, and DW's blood pressure pills.  Everything else can be easily replaced on the fly.

[olemissreb]

My first marriage, the ex and I loved to cruise.  Now after 30 years of marriage and 4 years divorced, I'm dating a guy that hates cruises even though he's never been on one! I'm still trying to convince him to give it a try and I think I found the "hook".  He wants to see Alaska, so I suggested at least a 2 week vacation - 1 week inland seeing all kinds of stuff and 1 week on a cruise.  That was one that he seemed amenable to.  His biggest hangup is that he doesn't want to "dress up" for dinner - I'm still working on that one. 😁😇