Incompatible Table Mates

[ehfl]

It just depends on the social skills of the 2 couples. If either couple has good social skills, they can handle the situation. The problem happens when everyone lacks skills for dealing with the situation.

[sandytoes03]

We did not have a problem with our tablemates on our first two cruises, but the last 3 we asked for a table for two, and our request was granted. I really don't enjoy eating with strangers, seems like too much work for a vacation for me.

[wvufan]

We have spent over 100 nights at sea and never had a bad tablemate. We always request large tables, and it has always worked out well. In fact, we actually did become life long friends with several couples we met in that way.

 

For the last two cruises, we arranged to sit with 3 other couples we "met" on the roll call. We had sort of screened ech other over the roll call, and it turns out we could not have selected more compatible tablemates and friends.

 

Having said that, we would not hesitate to switch if we were getting bad vibes-chances are the feeling would be mutual. While some differences in opinions are to be expected and perhaps relished, we could not tolerate sitting with others who might be fundamentally opposites on key issues.

 

I thnk that the most difficult arrangement might be a 6 top. Usually two of the couples will bond more than the other and the third will feel left out.

 

Nice story-on one cruise a few years ago, we were at a table for 10. One middle aged couple from England was very quiet and didn't join in on the conversation and fun. The superficial conclusion would be that they were stuffy and unfriendly. However, I was determined to draw them out (the rest of the table was fantastic), and the second or third night I asked if they were Manchester fans (referring to a British soccer team). Wow-the dam broke and from then on they were wonderful, talkative, and funny folks. Turns out that they had never met any people from the US before and were just so worried about what they might say or do that they were paralyzed. Sports, and soccer in particular, was the common ground which transcended nationality and provided the initial ice breaking with them:) . By the way, they hated Manchester.

 

Happy Sails to You

 

OOOEEE:D :D Bob and Phyl

[LMB01]

No flames from me! We don't care to meet people, "chosen" for us by the cruise line, in such a restricted environment. We prefer to meet others in more casual, less structured ways.

 

I get really annoyed whenever someone asks about how best to request a table for two and gets responses like, "You really should request a large table so you can meet people/have a "real" dining experience/have more fun" and so forth. As if they (and we) don't know what they like and, if they do, are somehow "wrong" for not enjoying the whole large table deal. It also gripes me when people write that they "feel sorry" for those dining at tables for two because they "don't have a good time" or "must be bored" or whatever. Maybe those folks have more fun at a large table, but why do they assume that everyone must? It completely dismisses the fact that some of us actually enjoy spending time with our spouse/SO/family. We also don't care to have to make small talk with strangers. In fact, we think there's too much emphasis on filling every single moment with some sort of "noise," even when that means just filling in with mindless chatter. We don't dine with strangers at home and see no reason to do so on a cruise (unless it's our choice).

 

I would never tell someone who prefers dining at a large table that they should get a small table instead. All I want is the same respect for our preferences (and not to be "lectured" at about why we should want something different).

 

See, you're not alone in your preference or feelings.:D

 

beachchick

 

p.s., Yes, I know I'm responding to an old post, but the sentiment bears repeating, IMO.

 

I totally agree with you. When we used to go to the MDR, we always requested and got a table for two. Our last experience in the MDR was at a table for two that was so close to a table for six, it hardly seemed separate. And the table of 6 continually tried to include us in their conversations and talk to us. We don't cruise to meet people nor wish to extend our dinner by discussing ours/their day. That experience drove us to the specialty restaurants every night for dinner.

[HorrorFan]

Our experiences have been somewhat un-spectacular. Keep in mind I am somewhat introverted so probably not the greatest tablemate myself. We cruise with our children, who were 8 & 12 on our first and 10 and 14 next time.

Both times we requested a large table. First time we were seated with an older couple, travelling with thier two grand daughters, both whom were older than our kids. It was fine, we chatted about the day, etc and it was neither uncomfortable nor particularly memorable.

Second time we were seated with a single mom with her two boys, who were more or less the same age as our kids. Pretty much a repeat of the first experience, neither good nor bad. They chose not to attend the formal nights and we went to Portofino's one night so we didn't really end up sitting with them that much either.

We have requested a large table for our next cruise as well.

[JTJ]

GF & I are D's so a table for two is easy, but before that, we would always speak Spanish the first night until we got the feel for the table. Interjecting in English where appropriate. It backfired once in SJU when had to keep it up all week long.

[KelJ]

No flames from me! We don't care to meet people, "chosen" for us by the cruise line, in such a restricted environment. We prefer to meet others in more casual, less structured ways.

 

I get really annoyed whenever someone asks about how best to request a table for two and gets responses like, "You really should request a large table so you can meet people/have a "real" dining experience/have more fun" and so forth. As if they (and we) don't know what they like and, if they do, are somehow "wrong" for not enjoying the whole large table deal. It also gripes me when people write that they "feel sorry" for those dining at tables for two because they "don't have a good time" or "must be bored" or whatever. Maybe those folks have more fun at a large table, but why do they assume that everyone must? It completely dismisses the fact that some of us actually enjoy spending time with our spouse/SO/family. We also don't care to have to make small talk with strangers. In fact, we think there's too much emphasis on filling every single moment with some sort of "noise," even when that means just filling in with mindless chatter. We don't dine with strangers at home and see no reason to do so on a cruise (unless it's our choice).

 

I would never tell someone who prefers dining at a large table that they should get a small table instead. All I want is the same respect for our preferences (and not to be "lectured" at about why we should want something different).

 

See, you're not alone in your preference or feelings.:D

 

beachchick

 

p.s., Yes, I know I'm responding to an old post, but the sentiment bears repeating, IMO.

 

I completely agree.

[hcw80]

We had two very interesting "table mates" an ex nunn, her companion was a three foot plastic Madonna, she carried it everywere, it had its own seat, It was fantastic, regards B L Zeebub

OMG! That was my husband's aunt. She was an ex-nun who left the convent and married. Went a bit batty and started carrying around a large plaster statue of the Virgin Mary, everywhere. Almost got thrown off a flight once because she refused to put the virgin in an overhead storage compartment.

 

Not a problem with the empty seat, however, the uncle would eat his meal and Mary's too.

[RetireeWannabee]

I like large tables. Sure, it's a crapshoot, but nothing I'll worry about pre-cruise. those of you that have posted that you're worried about this, please don't. Go meet your tablemates. If you hit it off, great! If you get along ok, you can probably be fine all week. If by some chance they are awful, for whatever reason, request a change. Don't worry about there being a problem until there is. After all, it's only dinner. You have no obligations except to yourselves.

 

I like meeting people and don't have a problem sharing a table "with strangers". I don't have any intention of making friends or doing other stuff around the ship or on shore with tablemates as that is not why I cruise. I do want to talk to people other than my travelling companion (whether it's DH or Mom). One week of no other social interaction is too long for me. Besides, many people on this Earth are very interesting. I don't want to deprive myself of learning something new from someone.

 

This is one of those "to each his own" situations.

[NiniB]

On a recent 14 day cruise, we were seated at a table for four with another couple with whom we clashed on nearly every issue. The problem may not have been as severe at a table for 8...where you had other people to speak with, but with only one other couple...there was no option. And who knows, they may have been experiencing the same problem. We debated asking for another table (and risk offending the other couple) or eating at the Windjammer.

 

We elected to eat at the Windjammer most evenings, but agreed that should this ever occur again, we would bite the bullet and ask to be reassigned.

 

Has anyone ever faced this problem and how was it handled? Was it awkward when you ran into them around the ship?

 

We've only had one bad table experience, seated with a couple. If I'm not liking the table I ALWAYS ask for another..

[earltonharley]

On our last cruise on Celebrity, we were traveling with another couple (their first cruise). We requested a table for four and were seated at a table for eight. We are business owners and get along with the public very well. The other two couples were related (the women were twin sisters), in their mid-sixties and while one couple was as nice as you would ever want someone to be, the other was a nightmare. If you said white, she said black. She went so far as to tell us at the table we weren't very smart and obviously weren't as educated as she. Her sister and brother-in-law made every appology, and we told them it wasn't their fault. Dinner was a chore after that. The only grace was that they ate at the speciality restaurants after the blow-out conversation. We only saw them at the last formal night and things were frosty. We were told the cruise was a sell out and nothing else was available. So, sometimes you have to grin and bear it. We just didn't let it wreck our over-all experence.

[escayna]

For some reason, we've always ended up at a table with no other table mates, even though we have asked for bigger tables. I want to meet people when I'm cruising, so I've decided to ask for a bigger table if this happens again on our next cruise.

 

My parents had a mixed experience on one of their cruises, though. They were seated together with two other couples, but the other couples ignored them completely when they found out that my parents were not from the US. My parents speak fluent English, but apparently the others thought they didn't speak any English at all. On the second or third night of the cruise one of the others tried to say something to my mother to see if she understood them, and they were so surprised when my parents answered and joined the conversation. I would have probably asked for a different table if that had happened to me.

[pmfan]

I have never had bad tablemates. I had some that it took awhile to get to know, at the end of the week they was like family. :)

[Minoushka]

When we were on Caribbean Princess we arrived at a table where 2 couples were sitting .My kids are 16 and 13 -cleancut 'polite and have great table manners -better then some adults I have seen on ships .Actually I am shocked at how many people do not hold their cutlery properly........but I digress. One of the ladies called out 'Oh No'' and proceeded to look at my kids strangely . I was VERY insulted but chose to remain there because the Maitre d's were really busy

THis particular lady commented on our food selection etc

Needless to say I went to see the MD after dinner and requested a table for 3 near a window after relating the incident . Every night I requested the curtains be open so we could watch the sea .I was VERY happy we spoke up and our new seating arrangements -no one bothered us . I saw these people again and ignored them completely

Tablemates are the luck of the draw .On Regal Princess we were with the most interesting couple from Belgium and our conversations went on till we closed the dining room (a University prof and his wife )

He was and advisor to the European Union

WE discussed travels .politics .language issues etc etc . He spoke French and English while his wife only spoke English . I am perfectly bilingual so it was very interesting as when the man spoke French to us I would very quickly translate for her

It was a wonderful 2 weeks

They actually brought me back a poster displaying all the fish in the Hawaiian islands because I love to snorkel and found the fish to be different from the Caribbean .and had mentioned it at dinner . They had gone to an AQuarium on an excursion and had thought of me .HOw nice is that????

Next time DO speak up Remember it is YOUR cruise too !!!

 

MIchele

[lovemylab]

On our first cruise we were seated at a table of four and it was very awkward. The couple we were seated with barely spoke English (they were from Belgium). Not only did we not have anything in common, we could barely communicate with each other. They ended up either switching tables or dining at the Windjammer because we never saw them again after the third night. For the rest of the cruise we had the table to ourselves and loved dining alone together.

 

For our second cruise we requested a table for two. As soon as we boared we checked our table assignment and upon learning that we had been assigned to another table of 4 we immediately asked the maitre 'd to be switched. There were no tables for 2 available so we instead switched to a larger table. We enjoyed our tablemates.

 

Going forward if we can't get a table for 2 we will ask to be seated at a large table.

[webteach]

I travel every fall with my 78 year old mother and mentally handicapped brother who is 54. I repeatedly ask for a small table and RCCL has never listened to my request. This has resulted in many people having to put up with my brother's foolish talk. Last cruise the children in the families sitting with us were nearly hysterical trying to be sure they didn't sit with him. It is simple courtesy for me to want to save others from a bad experience. My mother is somewhat rude- not attempting to make conversation so my dinner is a working dinner on my cruises. Not fun! I cruised with my husband in March- we sat with three couples who were friends but we had a lovely time with them. Reading others' experiences gives me the courage to request a table change this November, if necessary. Thanks.

[marci22]

No flames from me! We don't care to meet people, "chosen" for us by the cruise line, in such a restricted environment. We prefer to meet others in more casual, less structured ways.

 

I get really annoyed whenever someone asks about how best to request a table for two and gets responses like, "You really should request a large table so you can meet people/have a "real" dining experience/have more fun" and so forth. As if they (and we) don't know what they like and, if they do, are somehow "wrong" for not enjoying the whole large table deal. It also gripes me when people write that they "feel sorry" for those dining at tables for two because they "don't have a good time" or "must be bored" or whatever. Maybe those folks have more fun at a large table, but why do they assume that everyone must? It completely dismisses the fact that some of us actually enjoy spending time with our spouse/SO/family. We also don't care to have to make small talk with strangers. In fact, we think there's too much emphasis on filling every single moment with some sort of "noise," even when that means just filling in with mindless chatter. We don't dine with strangers at home and see no reason to do so on a cruise (unless it's our choice).

 

I would never tell someone who prefers dining at a large table that they should get a small table instead. All I want is the same respect for our preferences (and not to be "lectured" at about why we should want something different).

 

See, you're not alone in your preference or feelings.:D

 

beachchick

 

p.s., Yes, I know I'm responding to an old post, but the sentiment bears repeating, IMO.

 

I do agree.

[julesbeara]

On the Adventure in 2005 our tablesmates offered to buy a round of drinks for everyone on the last night of the cruise. My 14 year old daughter jokingly asked for 5 shots of tequila. When the drinks came she was served a water glass full of tequila. Our waiter proceeded to drink the tequila as his contract was close to ending. Needless to say our service was not stellar that night (I think my husband took money out of his tip envelope). This was a truly unique experience. Out of 15 cruises most people have been tolerable that we have sat with.

[Dolphins]

Hopefully RCI will offer some form of anytime dining on their ships so those of us who are not pleased with our table partners, will have an avenue of retreat.

[kruz gal]

I will echo most of the advice already given... do not hesitate to ask to move if you are not happy or comfortable with your tablemates! No reason to dread or not enjoy this very nice part of the evening by sitting with people that will be a drag!

 

We have been really lucky... have been on nine cruises and nearly always had a great bunch of nice folks at dinner. On one recent cruise, everyone had been having a great time, laughing, talking, etc. all week until one person brought up the current political situation. One woman started shrieking (seriously... she had been drinking a bit, so she was really loud) that "Bush lied, Bush lied, Bush lied!!!" in reference to the WMD issue. It became embarassing and uncomfortable, but fortunately, that was on a night very close to the end and after her performance, so for the last two nights we just sat at the other end of the table so as not to "engage" her. Sex, politics, religion... not great dinnertime subjects! :o

 

Otherwise, we always seem to get a really nice group of couples that are at least close to our age group, and interesting to talk to. If we were seated with a big family and little kids, or rude people, I would absolutely ask to be relocated.

[want2seaitall]

On one recent cruise, everyone had been having a great time, laughing, talking, etc. all week until one person brought up the current political situation. One woman started shrieking (seriously... she had been drinking a bit, so she was really loud) that "Bush lied, Bush lied, Bush lied!!!" in reference to the WMD issue. It became embarassing and uncomfortable, but fortunately, that was on a night very close to the end and after her performance, so for the last two nights we just sat at the other end of the table so as not to "engage" her. Sex, politics, religion... not great dinnertime subjects! :o

 

I was actually thinking about that. Politics is on most people minds these days with the election at hand. It seems difficult getting in/out of a family gathering these days without a heated debate. I have very strong opinions on Bush and the current candidates. But, like you said...sex, politics, religion...big no no. I just hope I don't have to sit and listen to someone else's views for 4 days...especially if I don't agree with them :).

[David4]

I would add to the sex, politics, and religion, is money. We have been lucky on all of our table mates though.

[Wilda]

My husband and I requested a large table and were seated with 3 other couples on the first night of the cruise. It read like a "Seinfeld" episode. As soon as everyone was seated couple A begins talking about their medical issues. Before the drink order was taken we were informed that she was terminal and they were celebrating while she was still well enough. Please don't think poorly of me as I retell this story; we did empathize with this couple, and the situation was tragic (no kids, thank goodness). Couple B then proceeds to dominate the conversation to discuss their curable, but debilitating, disease. Before I have my first sip of wine (no toasting at that table) we have been introduced to the fascinating world of buying medications in bulk quantities from overseas (illegal?) and how the garage was redesigned to be climate controlled for storage of these meds. By this point both couples are talking over each other, interrupting one and other, and discussing some verrrrry personal information dealing with parts of the anatomy that should not (IMO) be discussed over a salad. Couple C attempted to inquire about the various excursions that everyone at the table had planned but A and B weren't having any part of it. I should also note that no-one at this table was over 40 years of age (that's one of the reasons we found couple A's story so tragic, she was very young). We endured the rest of the meal and switched to anytime dining the next day.

 

Saw couple B a few days later and they mentioned that they were the only ones to return to the dining room the next evening:confused: We didn't offer an explanation, or an apology. Just wished them well and moved on. This was without a doubt the longest, most uncomfortable meal we have ever experienced.

 

Moral of the story- cut your losses and don't worry if someone takes it personally. That is not your problem.

[concour]

My wife and I always have asked for a large table. As we were taken to our table there sat 6 college students. My wife and I are in the mid 50 range and one of the highlights of our cruising was to get away from our three college age kids. I almost stopped dead in my tracks. I whispered to my wife I would get us switched after dinner. The dinner turned out very enjoyable. The waiter came up to us as we were leaving and asked if everything was ok. We had seen a lot of rude behavior during the day at the pool and the VCL and decided to stick it out one more night and see what happens. The next night was formal night and they all came nicely dressed. Not tuxes or long dresses but still better than most in the dinning room. We ended up having a very enjoyable time with them and even joined them at the Quest. The moral is give is a chance but if it doesn't work by all means change.

 

Bill

 

PS

 

The funniest tablemate was on a 3 night SOTS. The husband came in obviously drunk. Not rude but loud, buying shots for everyone and resisting his wife's pleading to leave. The night was Italian night and when the parade of waiters came by our table he got up, paraded with them and we never saw him again.

[LynneL]

Brings back memories of a cruise years ago (I was then in my early 20s) & smoking permitted in cruise dining rooms. My friend & I went on a long planned Greek Islands cruise. We had a table for 6 and orig. were the only 2 seated at it. No problem...until we're asked if some ladies can be placed at our table. Fine...4 older-aged woman from a real-estate group join us. Two repeatedly smoked throughout dinner. My friend asked that they not smoke since the smell of smoke makes us nauseous while we're eating. Next night...they lit up each time they were between courses. When we requested no smoking they stated, "Well you're not eating now!" I think they viewed us as kids who they didn't need to respect.

 

I suggested to my friend that we find another table & she said "Hell NO! We were here first!" She spoke to the maitre d' after the 2nd night of having them as dinner companions and asked that the 4 of them be removed from our table...which he promptly arranged. We didn't feel bad for a moment!