What would you do part two

[SillySoul]

Thank you to everyone that replied to my previous post. I would like to clarify two things though. When we asked the first couple to come, we sat down and made all the arrangments with them, we did not make arrangments first and then invited them along. Also, I was not in any way going to dictate what they could do. It was understood from the get go that it would only be the four of us. That is why you could say my nose got out of joint with all the added people. We went from four people to seventeen. I guess I could do as suggested, just go and make my own excursions and possibly see people at dinner. Sinse we are linked with the first couple and the second, i am assuming the other people are linked with the two couples we invited. I cannot imagine how they are going to sit seventeen people together. Personally if someone invited me on a cruise whether i am paying for myself or not, i would ask if they would mind if i invited other people. I thought that would be the respectful thing to do, maybe i am wrong. But, I will give this much more thought and keep all your suggestions in mind. Thanks again, i do appreciate all your replies!

[mtncouple]

We booked a cruise this past Feb. We then told our friends and asked if they wanted to go also. We got connecting balconies. They then invited another couple from Texas whom we had never met. It all turned out well. As a matter of fact we were glad the other couple came along so we didn't feel guilty for not wanting to do some things on or off the ship. We had made our own excursion res. already and spent most of our Port times as a couple and caught up with the others later. The other couple was very nice and we all got along well.

[cusyl]

I think the largest table is for 8, so no all 17 can not be seated at the same table. Also, it is possible that you did not all get early or late seating together. You could "unlink" your reservations if it bothers you that much.

 

Just go on the excursions you planned with the other couple. I doubt all of the other people would be interested in the same things as you. As others have said, it's a big ship. Some days you may not see them at all.

 

If it is really going to bother you so much cancel and rebook. What does the other couple think?

[GRBlizz]

Not trying to be unfeeling, but it seems you contributed to the numbers by inviting your "replacement" couple (Couple 2) after Couple 1 added others to the group. I'm curious if Couple 1 and Couple 2 know each other, get along, etc.?

 

I still think the right answer is to sit down with your friends (Couple 1 and Couple 2, together or separately) and say, OK, now the group has gotten larger, what should we do about dining, excursions, etc.

 

If you don't, someone from Couple 1 or Couple 2 will be on here saying, "our friends invited us to go on a cruise with them, and now they just want to do their own thing!!"

 

Of course this only matters if these people are friends that you want as part of your life. You are all in this together and you have to work out the solution together IMO.

[Happy ks]

You're right, 17 people is far too large a group to be seated at one table. I even think a table for 10 is too big. A round table for 8 is about the maximum we like, you can still have a conversation with everyone, you can still hear what is going on. Why people feel more connected because they are seated at one huge table is beyond me, haven't you ever been stuck at the end of a large table and wished you were a part of the fun at the other end? Your face is either bent down close to your plate, or you're leaning over backwards all evening. Or, with even 10 at the table, you are too far away from the people adjacent to you to hear the conversation without yelling at each other.

 

I have a great idea, tables should be no larger than to seat 8 on any cruise ship. Then there wouldn't be so many extremely loud groups that drown out your tables conversation :)

 

We had a group of 15 on a cruise a few years ago, we had 2 tables of 8 right next to each other. We switched seats every single night, contrary to what some people have written here in the past, the servers don't give a hoot where you are seated. That way, we all had the opportunity to sit next to someone different every night. It was all family, we didn't even have a hard and fast rule about sitting with your mate. We had a great time, since the only time we were all together was at dinner.

 

My personal feeling is that you should not even attempt to get more than 4 people to agree on an excursion, unless it is a private bus tour with an escort to get people moving along. When you have more than 4, you are constantly stopping to wait for one person or another, can't decide on where to have lunch, someone always has to go potty and your whole day centers on keeping track of everyone else.

 

All in all, I think you are worrying too much about all the other people, just go and have a good time. Split up with different people from your group to do things together. You may just find out that you prefer the company of someone from the selection of people that you really didn't know well before leaving.

 

Our group had only one rule...that was...no rules. No one was beholding to anyone else, we'll see you and talk with you at dinner. If you didn't make it to dinner, then we'll see you tomorrow night at dinner, no questions asked.

 

We all had a great time.

[SillySoul]

:o

We booked a cruise this past Feb. We then told our friends and asked if they wanted to go also. We got connecting balconies. They then invited another couple from Texas whom we had never met. It all turned out well. As a matter of fact we were glad the other couple came along so we didn't feel guilty for not wanting to do some things on or off the ship. We had made our own excursion res. already and spent most of our Port times as a couple and caught up with the others later. The other couple was very nice and we all got along well.

You are right. I'm sure there may be things we want to do that they do not want to do, that is a good way to look at it. Thanks! :)

[SillySoul]

I think the largest table is for 8, so no all 17 can not be seated at the same table. Also, it is possible that you did not all get early or late seating together. You could "unlink" your reservations if it bothers you that much.

 

Just go on the excursions you planned with the other couple. I doubt all of the other people would be interested in the same things as you. As others have said, it's a big ship. Some days you may not see them at all.

 

If it is really going to bother you so much cancel and rebook. What does the other couple think?

The only thing we could not do as of yet, is book the excursions. There are none available yet, i'm guessing is because the crusie is in October of 2008. I have not said anything yet to the other couple. When they called and said they invited the eighty year old parents, I did say " you have to be kidding me". It just popped out of my mouth. I personally do not think they care. I think I will unlink my reservation to them though, that may be the best idea. If my mother finds out the other couple has their parents all heck will break lose, see I have another problem now. LOL! I just wanted it to be a same age another couple trip. I guess I asked to much. Next time, I am not inviting anyone.

[SillySoul]

Not trying to be unfeeling, but it seems you contributed to the numbers by inviting your "replacement" couple (Couple 2) after Couple 1 added others to the group. I'm curious if Couple 1 and Couple 2 know each other, get along, etc.?

 

I still think the right answer is to sit down with your friends (Couple 1 and Couple 2, together or separately) and say, OK, now the group has gotten larger, what should we do about dining, excursions, etc.

 

If you don't, someone from Couple 1 or Couple 2 will be on here saying, "our friends invited us to go on a cruise with them, and now they just want to do their own thing!!"

 

Of course this only matters if these people are friends that you want as part of your life. You are all in this together and you have to work out the solution together IMO.

No, I am sorry I do not think I contributed anything. Couple number one invited six more people without even considering our feelings. After inviting all the new people they basically said well, we will see you when we see you. If that is the way the felt why bother going with us at all, why not just make their own plans instead? Couple one and two do know each other and get along fine. Honestly, i think the suggestions i have gotten would work best. Go,unlink my reservation to anyone and just make my own plans. It is too big of a group to me to get invloved with reservations and such. I guess if someone says they invited us now they do not want to hang with us, i can always say, " well why did you invite so many others then? Obviously it is the other way around".

[kitty9]

I think I would be upset if this happened to me. It's like throwing a party and having guests bringing their own, uninvited, guests to your party.

 

I think I would cancel the cruise and book another one. Definitely unlink the reservations. The only thing you're going to have a problem with is seeing the other couple and not wanting to do anything with them. I really think the cruise is going to be akward and might cause some bad feelings.

[Starr Mtn]

Several years ago my new SO and I were booked with a group cruising

South America. We were part of the group based on those booked by

our TA. That had several perks for us such as pre- and post-hotel

hotels ; on-board group cocktail parties; good flights; pre- and post cruise

transportation. The latter especially important since I required the use

of my scooter.

 

All was well until close to cruising date we found out that our TA had arranged everyone to dine at the same time and at assigned tables ! We had not anticipated that and were not interested in being committed to

dinner with "strangers" every night. We contacted our TA and she arranged for us to dine at the same time, but at a lovely, private table for two. (actually turned out to be on the other side of the dining room!) So we had the privacy and lovely time together and sometimes stopped by the other tables for dessert or a quick visit.

 

We did participate in group excursions that met our interests. And the private cocktail parties were very enjoyable.

 

So - you might want to consider reserving a dinner table for two - and then

participate any other group activities as you desire. Also with that large a group your TA will probably provide a cocktail party or other perks...

[PennyAgain]

No, I am sorry I do not think I contributed anything. Couple number one invited six more people without even considering our feelings. After inviting all the new people they basically said well, we will see you when we see you. If that is the way the felt why bother going with us at all, why not just make their own plans instead? Couple one and two do know each other and get along fine. Honestly, i think the suggestions i have gotten would work best. Go,unlink my reservation to anyone and just make my own plans. It is too big of a group to me to get invloved with reservations and such. I guess if someone says they invited us now they do not want to hang with us, i can always say, " well why did you invite so many others then? Obviously it is the other way around".

 

 

With this many bookings, you ought to get a free room!

[sail7seas]

:) That's what I was thinking. If I were you, I'd contact your TA and have them call this a group and get the group bennies. Usually there is a free cabin for every 8 or so that are sold. Sometimes a cocktail party.....bottles of wine. It varies but a group of 17 people may qualify and maybe your nose would not be quite so 'out of joint' if you are the one who proposes 'formal group status' and you get the bennies.

 

Good luck.

 

Let us know how things work out as time goes by.

[miami]

We had a group of 15 on a cruise a few years ago, we had 2 tables of 8 right next to each other. We switched seats every single night, contrary to what some people have written here in the past, the servers don't give a hoot where you are seated. That way, we all had the opportunity to sit next to someone different every night. It was all family, we didn't even have a hard and fast rule about sitting with your mate. We had a great time, since the only time we were all together was at dinner.

 

We also have a large group going on our Miracle cruise next year, and we are planning to do the same thing.

[cb at sea]

These ships are so large, you can go practically forever and not see the other folks--

I'd go with my own plans and if someone else happened to show up, I'd welcome them.

At this point, I wouldn't ask anyones' opinion on any excursions, dining times, or anything else! (do you even KNOW the other folks???)

I think it's rude what they did, but it's done now. Lesson learned!

[ger_77]

You could do what we did - we planned a cruise and invited people, telling them they could invite others if they wished. We billed it as a "Nobody's Joined At The Hip Cruise" and that way nobody would feel slighted when people did things on their own. Some from our group were very active and took part in strenuous shore excursions, while others chose to stay onboard and relax poolside. At dinner, some couples dined together, while others had tables for 2 and enjoyed each other's company that way. We didn't feel obligated to make sure everyone was having a good time, and were free to enjoy the cruise ourselves. It just happened that the original 3 couples enjoyed pre-dinner cocktails every evening at the Casino Bar and it was a relaxed experience for all.

 

I hope you can get to enjoy the cruise and maybe make some new friends in the process.

 

Smooth Sailing! :) :) :)

[SillySoul]

I think I would be upset if this happened to me. It's like throwing a party and having guests bringing their own, uninvited, guests to your party.

 

I think I would cancel the cruise and book another one. Definitely unlink the reservations. The only thing you're going to have a problem with is seeing the other couple and not wanting to do anything with them. I really think the cruise is going to be akward and might cause some bad feelings.

I agree,. that was what I was worried about myself. And yes, the party with the uninvited guest's sums it up perfectly!

[SillySoul]

With this many bookings, you ought to get a free room!

I do not know how, I do not know any of the people couple number invited.

[SillySoul]

:) That's what I was thinking. If I were you, I'd contact your TA and have them call this a group and get the group bennies. Usually there is a free cabin for every 8 or so that are sold. Sometimes a cocktail party.....bottles of wine. It varies but a group of 17 people may qualify and maybe your nose would not be quite so 'out of joint' if you are the one who proposes 'formal group status' and you get the bennies.

 

Good luck.

 

Let us know how things work out as time goes by.

We did not use a TA. We just had dinner, discussed everything and did the bookings together right after dinner by phone.

[SillySoul]

These ships are so large, you can go practically forever and not see the other folks--

I'd go with my own plans and if someone else happened to show up, I'd welcome them.

At this point, I wouldn't ask anyones' opinion on any excursions, dining times, or anything else! (do you even KNOW the other folks???)

I think it's rude what they did, but it's done now. Lesson learned!

We did not book excursions because the were not available yet. We did nbook the late night seating for dinner. And no, I never met these other people before. Your idea is a good one, not asking anyone about anything.

[johno95]

if you are going to have part two, etc. why don't you ask the mod to close part one.

 

maybe you should have just added on to your original thread.

 

do you plan a prequel? :confused:

 

Thank you to everyone that replied to my previous post. I would like to clarify two things though. When we asked the first couple to come, we sat down and made all the arrangments with them, we did not make arrangments first and then invited them along. Also, I was not in any way going to dictate what they could do. It was understood from the get go that it would only be the four of us. That is why you could say my nose got out of joint with all the added people. We went from four people to seventeen. I guess I could do as suggested, just go and make my own excursions and possibly see people at dinner. Sinse we are linked with the first couple and the second, i am assuming the other people are linked with the two couples we invited. I cannot imagine how they are going to sit seventeen people together. Personally if someone invited me on a cruise whether i am paying for myself or not, i would ask if they would mind if i invited other people. I thought that would be the respectful thing to do, maybe i am wrong. But, I will give this much more thought and keep all your suggestions in mind. Thanks again, i do appreciate all your replies!

[sail7seas]

We did not use a TA. We just had dinner, discussed everything and did the bookings together right after dinner by phone.

 

 

You could look into switching the bookings over to a TA. It might be worth your while if the TA tells you she can formalize it to be a group and you get the bennies.

[vacation fool]

I posted in your first thread saying it was rude what they did and told you what happenned to me with my inlaws stealing my vacation. It sounds to me like it is going to be very akward for you and your husband if u do not talk this out with your friend. But, in doing so u may strain the relationhip (which is probably already strained):( That is choice #1. Choice #2 is to rebook to another cruise all together and go without any strained relationships or worrying if u r going to get stuck with someone you or hubby don't like. It sounds like there is much bad feeling and no matter what- if u go-u may not be entirely happy. You need to do what is good for you-just as your friend did. Vacation is a precious time for all of us and meant to be enjoyed to the fullest. We are suppossed to be in fantasy land, no worries for that time:D If you think you can have no worries and go with all of the others, fine. If not, you need to rebook your fantasyland;)

[vacation fool]

p.s. silly soul, where do u live? I live in south florida,too! Pembroke Pines:eek: