Not so happy solo stories

[tekdiva]

Would a long or short cruise be better for first time solo cruise?

 

Well I am going on my first cruise and first solo cruise for 7 days. I didn't have much choice on the length as I am leaving from Whittier, AK. I would think that since you are accustomed to cruising that the length would be determined one your level of comfort with being alone. I know that you aren't really going to be that alone on a cruiseship. However, a business associate said that she was glad that I am the type of person who is happy with my own company. Now how good I am without my laptop is a different story! But I am stocking up on eBooks to read on my PDA so it won't be so bad.

[JoKen1]

I think the longer cruise would better. That way you have more time to meet people, relax, have fun and enjoy your vacation.

 

Believe me, if you are alone on the cruise it's only because you want to be. People are very friendly on a cruise and no one seems to mind extra company.

 

Personally I love to be alone. I love to shop alone, go to movies alone, be alone at home. The only thing I don't like to do is eat alone. So a cruise is perfect for me.

[Posted]

I can see that the most difficult time is dinner time. While I have not been completely 'solo' (been with married kids), I have wandered around on my own when I wanted to, but always had company I could count on for dinner. I would certainly have no problem going on another cruise completely on my own where there is 'fixed dining', but am wary of 'anytime dining'. What do you do when you walk into the diningroom on your own? I love formal nights too, but that also seems a little weird to think about.

Right now I am looking at a Princess cruise.....any thoughts on this?

M.

I solo with Princess Cruises a fair bit and find anytime dining great, you get to meet heaps of people and often get invited to join them again. I don't do formal I normally just join a few other solos at the buffet on those nights. I also do mostly ship tours as I have at least meet one or two people before hand. I am an Aussie from Perth on the West coast, my next cruise is a 35 day Sydney Hawaii Sydney on the Dawn Princess in April next year. Great only four hour flights to and from home.

 

I have had one funny moment when a 30 year old American told me I spoke very good English for an Aussie and where did I learn it, I said "thank you but it is our native language" to which he replied "but you still handle it fairly well" (he was serious). You could have heard a pin drop. I just let it go I didn't want to embarrass his wife and friends who just sat there looking a bit shocked. I hope you try anytime dining and have a great cruise. If there are any other solos on the Dawn let me know.

Cheers

[heatherandfred]

You go girl! That is exactly what I would have done and I'm not black! I am so proud of you...:D

 

Thanks, it needed to be done.

[heatherandfred]

Oh my :eek: I love the way you handled that situation mine was not that bad compared to your experience.

 

I wasn't playing either. Some people expect black folks to act all crazy. I was determined to not be that person, since I was so incensed.

[heatherandfred]

WOW...so sorry this happened to you.:(

Sometimes you really have to wonder about people and what

motivates them to do the things they do:eek: :confused:

 

I would be pleased to share a dinner table with you and your

Mom, or an excursion:), should our paths ever cross on the high seas.

 

Thank you, we'd be pleased to have you join us. We're quite entertaining..LOL.

[heatherandfred]

I was speechless when I read your post. I have heard that racism is prevalent in Russia towards any non-white race. You did handle that well.

 

Thank you.

[heatherandfred]

To Donaldsc, Rivercat and DizzyDallasDi. Thank you. I am so shocked that I reacted the way that I did. Honestly, it never would have dawned on me to give him the plates plus ours. A little voice must have said to me "Don't act the fool!" LOL.

 

I guess not everybody was taught good social graces. It never fails to amaze me and I can't stand when people don't know how to act. I hate when people assume things.

 

When my mother was on the QE2 back in the 80s, she was going to a port in Africa. When she got off the ship and ventured to the excursion, someone thought that she was a concubine to one of the cruisers. I was floored when she told me that.

[DizzyDallasDi]

To Donaldsc, Rivercat and DizzyDallasDi. Thank you. I am so shocked that I reacted the way that I did. Honestly, it never would have dawned on me to give him the plates plus ours. A little voice must have said to me "Don't act the fool!" LOL.

 

I guess not everybody was taught good social graces. It never fails to amaze me and I can't stand when people don't know how to act. I hate when people assume things.

 

When my mother was on the QE2 back in the 80s, she was going to a port in Africa. When she got off the ship and ventured to the excursion, someone thought that she was a concubine to one of the cruisers. I was floored when she told me that.

 

The world is filled with stupid and thoughtless people. It's a shame you and your mother encountered some of them while on vacation. Hold your heads high, girls, and don't let the idiots drag you down!

[nychelle02]

I have never cruised alone although it is something I think about constantly. I am the person usually falling back to someone else's schedule I imagine doing everything I would like to do when I want to do it would be a liberating experience.

 

Also on my last cruise on our first night in formal dining my group of six met a nice lady whose son worked for Carnival and arranged for her to cruise alone. We adopted her so to speak with out crowding her experience and enjoyed each other's company so much we traded gifts on the last night of the cruise.

[tinlizzy]

I have never cruised alone although it is something I think about constantly. I am the person usually falling back to someone else's schedule I imagine doing everything I would like to do when I want to do it would be a liberating experience.

 

Also on my last cruise on our first night in formal dining my group of six met a nice lady whose son worked for Carnival and arranged for her to cruise alone. We adopted her so to speak with out crowding her experience and enjoyed each other's company so much we traded gifts on the last night of the cruise.

 

I think about it a lot, also. Traveling with my child is not much different from solo for most of the day! I noticed that the crew always notice when I look alone and make a special effort to have conversations with me. I'm taking my son and his friend on a cruise in June and I'm exited about being quasi alone again.

[yellowbird23]

tinlizzy>>>do you want to adopt me? I'm 61!:D :D :D

[tinlizzy]

tinlizzy>>>do you want to adopt me? I'm 61!:D :D :D

 

Lol - everyone says that - I tell ds all the time he's lucky his mama loves vacations instead of gardening.

 

Are there ever any CC solo group cruises? Not that we couldn't join another CC group - we all seem to like the freedom aspect but a group cruise would add some benefits right?

[Host Kat]

... Are there ever any CC solo group cruises? Not that we couldn't join another CC group - we all seem to like the freedom aspect but a group cruise would add some benefits right?

See the thread titled CC Member Group Cruise for Single Parents that cruise w/ their kids? on the Singles Cruises Forum at http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=706760. Then there is their thread titled Possible CC group cruise - Single Parents & Friends - Carnival Glory mid-June, 2010 on the Carnival Cruise Line Forum at http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=747850. It is open to any Cruise Critic member.

Kat

[tinlizzy]

Thanks Kat!

 

A singles cruise is a different beast though I think.

[Host Kat]

... A singles cruise is a different beast though I think.

This is not one of those "lookin' to hook up" type we have all heard about put on by the agencies that specialize in that sort of thing.

 

Kat

[gxchan]

As a black woman who has cruised here in the states and abroad, I have experienced racism. My mom and I went on a cruise to Greece in 94 and was seated with a Fillipino couple and a gay male couple. The couple decided that they wanted to change tables, so it was me and mom and the two gay guys. We had a ball, very pleasant conversation. Tony and Don from Australia. I ran into the Fillipino woman on the deck, I'm minding my business when she asks me "Where is your friend?" I'm like "My friend?" I'm like that's my Mother, she fell apart.

 

While on the same cruise, sunning myself on the deck, mom and me finished eating and were sitting there. But, let's go back. We took a bus to the ship and there were only a few people on the bus. There was this Russian group that was on also. Well we're sitting in the sun with our plates inbetween us, I look up and see one of the Russian men come towards us with his plates. I think that he's just going to put them to be cleaned somewhere. He puts his plates on top of ours and walks away!

 

One of the crew, who was black, saw this and he rushed over to take the plates. My mother was sputtering as she was in shock! I told her to calm down and what I did was take his plates and ours and walked back over to them and told him, "I believe these are yours" I then set the plates down in front of him and walked back to my chair.

 

Holy smokes! Your experiences makes mine seem . . . well, not so bad. I'm Chinese and French/Irish. People don't think of me as being white but they can't quite put their finger on what I am. I was in the whirlpool with what I thought was a nice couple. He asked why I didn't go to Hawaii--I'm from San Francisco--instead of flying to Boston and going to the Caribbean. Then he went on to tell me how the Japanese and Chinese (using racist terms) had "taken over" and "ruined" Hawaii so I was better off not going there. I introduced myself, full name, and they realized I am Chinese! There was a long silence and then they left. Then there was the very nice woman who sat next to me at lunch and complained because there were so many black people in Antigua! I pointed out that it is their country. She left, too. :D It kept happening. There were several other comments, as well, and don't get me started on the anti-gay remarks. What is wrong with people!

 

I will say my last cruise in December was great fun and never heard a racist comment which is why I'm going back on that line and that ship next week!

 

I would have dumped the dishes in that guy's lap but clearly you are a better person than I am.:D

[Lois R]

Holy smokes! Your experiences makes mine seem . . . well, not so bad. I'm Chinese and French/Irish. People don't think of me as being white but they can't quite put their finger on what I am. I was in the whirlpool with what I thought was a nice couple. He asked why I didn't go to Hawaii--I'm from San Francisco--instead of flying to Boston and going to the Caribbean. Then he went on to tell me how the Japanese and Chinese (using racist terms) had "taken over" and "ruined" Hawaii so I was better off not going there. I introduced myself, full name, and they realized I am Chinese! There was a long silence and then they left. Then there was the very nice woman who sat next to me at lunch and complained because there were so many black people in Antigua! I pointed out that it is their country. She left, too. :D It kept happening. There were several other comments, as well, and don't get me started on the anti-gay remarks. What is wrong with people!

 

I will say my last cruise in December was great fun and never heard a racist comment which is why I'm going back on that line and that ship next week!

 

I would have dumped the dishes in that guy's lap but clearly you are a better person than I am.:D

 

omg....I agree with you Ginnie..what IS wrong with these folks?:eek:

I remember growing up hearing that people are not born

with bigotry but they are taught it....it is taught from

ignorance and unless there is a generation who decides

to break that mold, sadly it will continue.:(

[dot73]

Unfortunately, you will find ignorant and intolerant people everywhere and they come from all walks of life. The problem is that they have been able to get away with it for too long. I think it is up to us to practise zero tolerance with these types of people. I used to cringe at racist jokes or ignorant comments, but now I refuse to do so and speak up. I will not stoop down to these people's level, but politely point out that their comments are out of line. My favourite reply is "why would you say someting so [racist, homophobic, intolerant] like that?" It is amazing how shocked these people become when someone actually stands up to them. You wouldn't believe the comments I got a few years back on a cruise shortly after Canada legalized gay marriage. I actually had a couple transfer to another table when I objected to them referring to Canada as becoming a "land of ******s" and going straight to hell. My answer was that I would rather go to hell than spend eternity with intolerant people like them. We may not be able to change the attitudes of these types of people, but if we all stand up to them, at least they may keep these comments to themselves and not spread their intolerance and/or hatred. Just my opinion.

[kitty9]

I have a question for all of my fellow solos. How do you deal with this kind of situation? When you're a woman of a certain age, and you travel as a solo, how do you counter remarks, perhaps not so much face forward, but more couched in question, that you're, how do I politely put this, hit for the other team? I have encountered women in older generations who assume that I'm lesbian, and that has caused some uncomfortable moments for me on cruises. I've overheard some women, usually in the 70's and older, say things like "Oh, she's one of those. She doesn't like men." And then I get attitude. Behavior like this makes me truly wonder how gays and lesbians handle the crap that's thrown at them all the time. Heck, being straight and having people assume that I'm not just because I'm of a certain age and not plastered to a man, makes me crazy. It's none of their business that I am, in fact, long divorced, and have no interest in marrying again, but have any of you encountered something similar? I have gentlemen friends, if you know my meaning, and I do cruise with one of them on ocassion, but most of my cruises are solo. This rude behavior happens from time to time and I have no idea how to counter this without wearing a sign that says, "Hey, I'm a divorcee. Get over yourself". I'm not saying that I'm getting hit on, but there are many in our society who view alternate lifestyles as deviant. I've asked my gay friends how to handle things like this and they say it's just something to ignore, but at times, it's not easy to ignore the ignorant.

[Roz]

Kitty,

 

I've encountered this situation on land, but not at sea, but I know what you're talking about. I'm 55, never married, and I like men.

 

I think the people that make those remarks are of a generation where "everyone" got married, whether they were happy with that choice or not. Lots of societal pressure to do so.

 

As far as how to respond, I'm not sure. I'm usually so angry, I just walk away because I'm afraid of what I might say. I've never figured out why it's so important to some people to know who I'm sleeping with or not, and why.

 

Roz

[gxchan]

I have a question for all of my fellow solos. How do you deal with this kind of situation? When you're a woman of a certain age, and you travel as a solo, how do you counter remarks, perhaps not so much face forward, but more couched in question, that you're, how do I politely put this, hit for the other team? I have encountered women in older generations who assume that I'm lesbian, and that has caused some uncomfortable moments for me on cruises. I've overheard some women, usually in the 70's and older, say things like "Oh, she's one of those. She doesn't like men." And then I get attitude. Behavior like this makes me truly wonder how gays and lesbians handle the crap that's thrown at them all the time. Heck, being straight and having people assume that I'm not just because I'm of a certain age and not plastered to a man, makes me crazy. It's none of their business that I am, in fact, long divorced, and have no interest in marrying again, but have any of you encountered something similar? I have gentlemen friends, if you know my meaning, and I do cruise with one of them on ocassion, but most of my cruises are solo. This rude behavior happens from time to time and I have no idea how to counter this without wearing a sign that says, "Hey, I'm a divorcee. Get over yourself". I'm not saying that I'm getting hit on, but there are many in our society who view alternate lifestyles as deviant. I've asked my gay friends how to handle things like this and they say it's just something to ignore, but at times, it's not easy to ignore the ignorant.

 

Hi Darcie,

 

I LOVE your question. I live in San Francisco and usually that is enough for some folks to think/suspect I'm lesbian. Other times it is b/c I'm a single woman traveling on my own without any interest in dating guys while traveling--I don't travel to date and won't date while traveling. When people ask me directly if I'm gay or when others stage whisper it or silly men think it is the reason I won't go out with them, I simply smile and say, no I'm not. Even if they continue to believe I am, so what? They probably have many thoughts/ideas that are based in hatred, bigitory, stupidity, etc. that are wrong. Nothing I say is going to change them or what they think.

[gxchan]

Lois, to be fair this was a longer cruise and the average age was in the early 70s, so a lot of these folks grew up in a time when this sort of talk was acceptable. The problem I had with it was they assumed I shared their opinions and that is really what I found more objectionable.

 

Dot, you are absolutely right, one must respond to these types of comments b/c allowing them to stand without comment just encourages it and makes them think you agree. When I was on my first cruise a truly lovely older woman and I became friends. She made a couple of racist comments, the first two I let go. The third time I put on my hand on hers, looked her right in the eye and said: when you say things like that it makes me very uncomfortable. I'm a minority and people say things like that about me. We have stayed in touch all this time and she has never said anything like that to me again. We are great friends.:D

[dot73]

Kitty, I have no idea why women are so judgmental of other women that choose to lead their lives in a "non-traditional" way. Are they jealous? Do they feel insecure because someone else has chosen a different route in life? I am 50, divorced 10 years, and travel solo because I love to not because I have no one in my life. I am straight (not that there is anything wrong with being gay :D ) and I've stopped trying to convince people that I choose to live this way and I've never been happier. I have had women (and a couple of men) tell me that they envy my freedom. After eight solo cruises, I now refuse to justify my life to anyone and just smile and walk away as soon as I can from anyone that takes issue with it. On the positive side, I have met some wonderful people on cruises that I keep in touch with. One benefit of cruising solo is that you meet a lot more people than you might if you travel with other people. I sometimes feel sorry for some couples I see who sit at a table for two and spend the whole dinner barely talking to each other while the table I'm sitting at is filed with interesting conversation and laughter. One benefit I found to getting older is that I no longer care what other people think of me, especially strangers.

[Texas Tillie]

I had an interesting experience on one of the luxury lines. I was assigned to a table with all women except for one of the "hosts" or whatever they call the men who get to cruise for free in exchange for dancing with the ladies. When it came out that I have never been married (I turned 61 on that cruise), he kept pestering me asking WHY I'd never been married because I was just so attractive, BS, BS, BS......I thought about asking to change tables, but I was enjoying the women at the table and it was just a 7 day cruise. I did mention his behavior on my comment card, but I see that he's still listed on cruises as one of the hosts. So, it happens with both fellow passengers and quasi ship employees. You can bet that if it ever happens again, I won't be as nice as I was the first time!