Formal Night Dilemma with No Solution

[ikelmay]

Personally, if you can make it to a sport coat and a sneakily procured tie, I'd say you are more than equipped. I've seen a complete range of dress for formal night and a jacket and tie would certainly cover a few bases.

 

I also wonder if the dress codes may become less of an issue on board once the dining system is rejigged. The cruise lines are shifting to different patterns and ways of thinking to try and encourage more people to cruise. I suspect the gamble is that the diehard traditionalists won't be so put off that they take their business elsewhere, as they see some of their most cherished traditions adjusted or removed.

[wvufan]

Mystery, I wear a tux on formal night for two main reasons-it makes my wife feel more special and because I'm supposed to.

 

Regardless of my own clothing comfort preferences, to deny her the opportunity to fully enjoy getting "gussied up" with her best clothes and jewelry by my not participating would be inexcusably selfish.

 

Tell him you will be looking around the ship to see if you can 'upgrade" on formal night;):D.

 

Happy Sails to You

 

OOOEEE :D:D Bob and Phyl

[Ma Bell]

That's one good reason for a man to dress appropriately. The only place most of us get to wear our nice evening wear is on a cruise. We ladies would look rather silly all dressed up and our husbands not. My husband doesn't understand why someone would wear a blazer, shirt and tie rather than a tux or suit when it's FORMAL night. They all feel the same to him so why not wear the one that looks the best.:confused:

[Bridge Maven]

Even though my husband wears a tux on formal night, I wouldn't make a big deal of it if he wanted to wear a sports jacket instead.

 

Cruises provide an opportunity for a couple to spend quality time together without the responsibilities and stress of everyday life and I don't think a vacation that special should be compromised by arguing over something as trivial as following a dress code perfectly.

 

Of course this is just my personal opinion which reflects my priorities in life.

[Can'tstopcruising]

Even though my husband wears a tux on formal night, I wouldn't make a big deal of it if he wanted to wear a sports jacket instead.

 

Cruises provide an opportunity for a couple to spend quality time together without the responsibilities and stress of everyday life and I don't think a vacation that special should be compromised by arguing over something as trivial as following a dress code perfectly.

 

Of course this is just my personal opinion which reflects my priorities in life.

 

I share your priorities and I believe that the OP does as well.

 

I like the way WFUFAN (Did I get that right?) is so considerate of his wife. I don't think my DH shleps his tux just to please me!

 

One day I will book Azamara or Oceania. But since I am in charge of vacations and I am VERY FRUGAL, I always opt for the Celebrity price. I book insides and there is no question that the value is there. (Just another one of my priorities!)

[Ma Bell]

My husband and I wouldn't argue about it, we'd just go have dinner in one of the casual venues and have a wonderful evening. Neither one of us would want to spoil the ambience for the other passengers for our own petty reasons.

[flag fan]

Maybe a suit feels to men like pantyhose to women? Maybe that's the problem.

 

Hey, that's an idea--give him a choice, wear one or the other.

[Bridge Maven]

I have a feeling that Bernard Madoff looked very dignified in his fancy suits while he destroyed the lives of people around the world with his ponzi scheme.

[FinelyCruising]

I have a feeling that Bernard Madoff looked very dignified in his fancy suits while he destroyed the lives of people around the world with his ponzi scheme.

 

Well it didn't seem he complained about wearing them, and it looks like he wore them a lot.

[Can'tstopcruising]

My husband and I wouldn't argue about it, we'd just go have dinner in one of the casual venues and have a wonderful evening. Neither one of us would want to spoil the ambience for the other passengers for our own petty reasons.

 

Ma Bell, if the OP and her husband sat near you on formal night and he was wearing his sport jacket, would you really think that they were petty people? And would they really spoil the ambience for you?

[FinelyCruising]

Ma Bell' date=' if the OP and her husband sat near you on formal night and he was wearing his sport jacket, would you really think that they were petty people? And would they really spoil the ambience for you?[/quote']

 

If I may butt into your question....I think that MaBell had one of the best comments I have seen on this thread, which clearly is no longer cheeky as the OP half wanted.

 

This predictably serious half is occurring and in following the flow of the dialog, where one indicated that there is no need to have a divorce and argue with a spouse but to just go and what ever, MaBell had the sense to suggest that there is no need to argue, just adjust to the change in venue to accommodate the intentional change in dress.

 

It is not such a difficult concept to want to avoid infringing the atmosphere of others who purposely seek this line due to its more traditional approach on certain evenings.

 

I think its called consideration.:)

[sunshine 229]

If I may butt into your question....I think that MaBell had one of the best comments I have seen on this thread, which clearly is no longer cheeky as the OP half wanted.

 

This predictably serious half is occurring and in following the flow of the dialog, where one indicated that there is no need to have a divorce and argue with a spouse but to just go and what ever, MaBell had the sense to suggest that there is no need to argue, just adjust to the change in venue to accommodate the intentional change in dress.

 

It is not such a difficult concept to want to avoid infringing the atmosphere of others who purposely seek this line due to its more traditional approach on certain evenings.

 

I think its called consideration.:)

 

 

I find myself agreeing with you and Ma Bell. If someone doesn't want to wear appropriate attire for the dining room there are other choices of place for them to eat.

 

And for those of you who say that it isn't worth having a big fight over or spoiling your together time, I have to ask, would it be a big thing for the husband to wear a suit for a few hours on a couple of nights to make his wife happy and to fit in with the dress code?

 

Why is it made to sound as if by asking her husband to follow the guidelines the wife is somehow the one who is going to ruin their special time?

[eandj]

Op, Pack a tie for him to wear with his sports coat. I'd explain the word "compromise" to him if he doesn't get it. Altho my DH likes to dress up..revisits our date nights of yore, if he decided to do the sports coat, I'd live with it ONLY IF he put on a tie. If he refused to wear a tie...I'd eat elsewhere. I actually would be peeved at him for not compromising or coming to some kind of concensus on the issue. That's a biggie for us. The issue would not be the tie. It would be WHY he couldn't do that for US.

[Ma Bell]

Ma Bell' date=' if the OP and her husband sat near you on formal night and he was wearing his sport jacket, would you really think that they were petty people? And would they really spoil the ambience for you?[/quote']

 

No, I doubt that I would even notice them. I wouldn't give it a thought because I would be too busy enjoying my friends. I do, however, think about what I do and I wouldn't think it was the right thing to do. I didn't say anything about "petty people", even the nicest people have petty thoughts at times and I would like to think I give a thought to others. Just my opinion on a message board.

[bondscruisegal]

Mysteryreader - if your husband dresses as you described in your posting, he will be dressed as the majority of the men were dressed on formal night on the cruise I was just on. There were very few men dressed in tuxes, the majority seemed to be dressed in dark suits, or sport jackets and slacks, or summer weight suits, and quite a few in slacks with white shirts and ties. Even though all the men weren't wearing tuxes, everyone looked presentable and enjoyed themselves. And isn't that the point of going on vacation---enjoy yourself, relax and have fun.

[hcat]

a sports coat is not formal dress----if you are dressed formal & he is not you will be mismatchd anyhow--so drop him off for burgers! If he knows this bothers you maybe he'll reconsider!

[Rick-cruiser]

I just want to interject and say that it is so refreshing to read a light-hearted, humerous take on the whole dress code issue.... I think the OP deserves special recognition for this.

 

I'm sure it brought a smile, and perhaps a few understanding nods, to many people on here... even the steadfast formal-wear enthusiasts :)

 

- Rick

[The_Big_M]

And isn't that the point of going on vacation---enjoy yourself, relax and have fun.

 

Well, yes, but it's also to choose an appropriate destination and be considerate of those around you.

 

Different destinations and venues are available for you depending on preferences; just because you are on vacation doesn't mean you can go dressed however you feel like and disrespect the establishment and other's preferences just because you're on holidays.

[excitedofharpenden]

 

Cruises provide an opportunity for a couple to spend quality time together without the responsibilities and stress of everyday life

IMHO if you are sharing a ship with two thousand other people certain responsibilities don't end just because you are on vacation.

 

Phil

[Can'tstopcruising]

IMHO if you are sharing a ship with two thousand other people certain responsibilities don't end just because you are on vacation.

 

Phil

 

Tell me the truth.

 

Do you go on a cruise (or any other vacation) thinking "I am looking forward to getting away from daily stress and responsibilities" or "I must think of my responsibilities to others"?

[excitedofharpenden]

Some of my responsibilities are built in and therefore they don't stop me from unwinding and having a great time. I don't have to think about them separately at all because I was brought up that way. In fact I would go so far as saying I like to look smart at dinner. As I said this is just from my own perspective.

 

Phil

[Can'tstopcruising]

Some of my responsibilities are built in and therefore they don't stop me from unwinding and having a great time. I don't have to think about them separately at all because I was brought up that way. In fact I would go so far as saying I like to look smart at dinner. As I said this is just from my own perspective.

 

Phil

 

I am willing to bet that Bridge Maven also likes to look smart at dinner. I am sure she also has "built in" responsibilities and I am sure she was very well brought up.

 

Accepting another who chooses not to dress "formal" is not a sign of lack of responsibility or poor up-bringing. Perhaps the opposite? Just food for thought!

[FinelyCruising]

The continual press to bring down those who have no qualms with 'doing the right thing' as their way of life or as their spiritual guide is telling. But sticking with those who don't like to conform since they are the ones that really have the burn to want to win this argument:

 

Those that don't desire to intentionally rub against the grain will certainly not have a need to come to these boards to post a public message such as the OP did about her husband, his intent, how they make their decisions as a couple, and what those decisions ultimately are. :cool:

[excitedofharpenden]

 

Accepting another who chooses not to dress "formal" is not a sign of lack of responsibility or poor up-bringing. Perhaps the opposite? Just food for thought!

You asked me a question and I replied to it honestly without any judgement on those that don't adhere to what is requested so I don't understand the point you are making.:confused:

 

Phil

[Can'tstopcruising]

You asked me a question and I replied to it honestly without any judgement on those that don't adhere to what is requested so I don't understand the point you are making.:confused:

 

Phil

 

The part of your post which I found offensive was "how I was brought up". It infers that others were not as well brought up as you were. Don't you think it is a put-down? I don't know whether or not you are a parent, but if you look around at the people you know sometimes there is not correlation between the up-bringing and the outcome. I can think of one family in particular where the parents were unbelievably laissez-faire and the children turned out very well. So can the oppposite be true.