I guess what it all boils down to is that before my next cruise, I'll definitely research "nickel–and–dime 'em to death" policies like these, and avoid the cruise lines that use them.
In fact, if this really is becoming the norm, it's time to go back to all-inclusive vacations.
If $800+ for two peoples' Deluxe Beverage Package doesn't generate enough profit for Royal Caribbean to allow me to have a full glass of liquor (my wife and I probably drank a total of $100 worth of alcohol on this cruise), and if formerly-free room service is too much to ask, then my opinion is - there are other vacation options.
Oh, I didn't even mention the fact that in spite of my pre-paid gratuities, I was confronted with an envelope for "extra tips" from our steward.
Thank all of you for your responses.