stillfrantic

Wait.....one of our party has the clap??? Quick, someone sign up to bring a gynecologist.

There must surely be a discount on the fare if you bring your own doctor.

This show is coming along just great.

 

There is just one thing we ned that will really put it over the top.

 

A Beauty Pageant

 

THE MISS HOLLAND AMERICA PAGEANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh PLEEEEEZE...Can I be in it? I'm not over 80 & I'm not in a scooter. Do I qualify??

the taps on the Rockettes' shoes, the barking seals, the crowing of the roosters, the chainsaws, and the screaming of Barry Manilow being eaten by an alligator.

...tisk tisk tisk...and people here complain when others take their young children on a cruise because they can be disorderly at times........:D Do you really think Barry Maniow in stiletto heels will be quiet while being eaten by an alligator?

Oh yes, Vicar. We might even save a little extra(not enough for that $5 frozen drink, mind you, but a little) if we don't need the cruise director either. All for Vicar, say, "AYE!" All opposed say, "NAY!"

Would they reduce our cruise fare by a certian amount if we promised not to watch any of the cruise provided shows?? Oh, cause the Cruise Critic Variety Hour sounds much better.

I figured out another way to save a bit. I hate paying those obnoxious tips, so I will bring my own servers. HAL would surely feed and house the help at no charge, right?

Is the chain saw used to enlarge the cabin the same one used for the cows? Sorry I didn't realize someone else was bringing a cow. We might not need that much. I'm feeling free range chickens on the Lido. Anyone else feeling the fresh eggs? Maybe they don't belong on the Lido deck, but maybe the Poop Deck, instead??

If they can mix up their own drinks nice and fresh, I've got a couple of questions. I like my beef really really fresh. Do you think they would mind if I brought a cow along? They could butcher it up nicely in the kitchen for me. I only eat steak occasionally, so I'll only need one piece, but it so much more economical to buy the whole cow. I save almost .37 cents per pound on the steak, and the rest the waiters could help the chefs wrap and package for me to take home. Oh my goodness, this will save so much over having to have the stockyard butcher it for me. If you brought your own tupperware, you might even get a cents off discount for taking a small portion home yourself.

I won't point them to us, but I'll point us to them: http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=57981

It is pretty tame. None of the bashing I would have expected.

Prior to this thread I was too embarressed to let people know that I pack my own cruise ship as a backup.

You almost made me spit yogurt on my laptop. That was the first time I think I actually laughed at loud at something I read on the internet.:D

Oh, I forgot. I have also ordered a sofa from a store in Key West. Rather than pay freight charges to my home, I am having it delivered to the ship the day will be there. Now, how convenient is that??? Do you think people will sit on it if I store it in the hall outside my stateroom? I would hate for it to be sat upon before I get it home.

Take this is as a warning. If you see an oversized couch outside a room on the 8th deck, stay off, please.

I'm a little concerned about storage in the bathroom, so I am bringing a cabinet kit from the Home Depot to put together once on board. The box isn't very deep, but it is long and weighs about 100 pounds. Do you think the stewards will mind putting it togher for me and delivering it that way? They could just tape a luggage tag on the top shelf so doesn't get confused with anyone else's shelves.

Also, do they sell charcol in the gift shop? I'm sure my bottle of lighter fluid will last the week, but the charcol bag only lasts for about 3 verandah cook outs. I'll need more than that, but it so much trouble to bring more than 1 bag along with the kettle drum grill. What do you all think?

Oh, and one more comfort and convenience item. I know they are always taking down the ceiling fans on "Trading Spaces," but I absolutley must have one on at night and since my husband is quite handy with electrical issues, we are able to travel with one. Are the ceilings made of a substance that his drill will be able to complete the installation quickly? I hate it when we come upon a ceiling that is difficult to drill. Sometimes it leaves large holes which do so bother me during our vacation...imagine, having to look up at holes around your personal ciling fan.....really bothersome!

I know when people stay in the room after us, they know by the nice smoky smell that we had a grill and are sorry we didn't leave it for them. And the ceiling fan.....well when they stare up at the frayed wires above their heads and see the now empty mounting brackets, they are so very sad we removed it before disembarkation. I've heard they call the stewards to complain about the wires hanging. Well, I say to them, you should have remembered to pack your ceiling fan too.

Is the Sky deck one above the pool deck, or even above that? Not that I'm getting any ideas!!