juliang

17 hours ago, CineGraphic said:

We both just tested negative!

Time to start packing!

Its too late to pack. Just throw a toothbrush, tooth paste, a shaving kit, meds , a bathing suit and one pair of reversible underwear in a bookbag and you'll be fine

Does anyone know about whether thw CP will be docking at st kitts and st thomas and whether we can get off the ship?

 

 

I agree with your thinking. I am getting implored to do this years malt shop cruise [2019] , but i come back to the same place i was about 4 years ago. Been on the eurodam where most of the guests are asleep by 9pm...albeit this is a specialty cruise. been on 35 or more other cruises. Found that Royal caribbean has the best overall entertainment. Carnival used to be ok, but they cut out live music when they cut out the orchestra so now you dont even know if the singers a lip synching.so im done with carnival. what it came down to was it really worth more than a $1000 to see these acts up close if possible and hob knob some for a short period of time. The same cruise on the eurodam without the acts was about $700 for an inside cabin. with the extras on the malt sop cruise its well over $1700 and probably closer to 2k, not counting air, hotel etc. one attendee said well, the acts dont work for free. with $1700 person, plus Holland america must cut something from that for filling up the ship, the producers are getting at least $1000 per person times 2000 passengers , less what they are being charged...at least close to 2 mil, minus the cost of the acts..and these are mostly over the hill performers whose value is primarily nostalgia. You can do a really nice bucket list cruise or 2 for $3400+. and, , where i live there are always 50's -60's doo wop acts in new jersey , baltimore etc ..wildwood nj, has a big 50's weeknd every fall. with live acts, eg bobby rydell [who still has a great voice], chubby checker, frankie avalon etc. and of course , there are the doo-wop shows on public tv. But the drifters? the drifters were basically done once Ben E. King left the group. Jan or dean--never much and certainly no beach boys. But I give the producers credit. the adage behind good marketing is to create a need , then fill it. I'm not that needy. not that anxious to see 60 and 70 year olds in poodle skirts, certainly at the tune of 1000-1400 for a week, nor performers barely hanging on, with a few exceptions. back to nj and baltimore and public tv and sirius xm. so, on to barcelona or rome or copenhagen, or alaska , all again, and to nj and baltimore. let someone else fork over that kind of dough. google your favorite acts and see where they are performing.

On 6/10/2015 at 6:54 PM, Pachouli Girl said:

I am totally with you Peggy Tuten and "on the fence" about this also. Good figuring on your part too! I just called them at 1-844-700-3569 and they offered me $100.00 off each ticket (there are two of us) BUT told me that $250.00 EACH is additionally going to be added on for "gratuities and taxes." So total for the $1399.00 room would be $1649.00-well, minus the $100.00 each offer so that would make it $1549.00 each person. PLUS your ship doesn't LEAVE the loading dock until 4pm and THAT counts as one of the 5 days! So you have an "adjustment evening" there to "settle in" but there goes one day and on the FIFTH day (they say its 5 days) you have to be off the ship by 7am!!! Then I was told that the bands will be playing at different times and sometimes the SAME times in different locations all over the ship. Wahhh! This sounds like a crunch job in just 3 days really and what if you want to see All the bands playing? Yet they are on many different levels all across different locations on the ship at the same time!? Too much stress! I wanna go, I really do: But none of this sounds that fair to people yearning for the memories of those Good (oh how I hate to say it: ol' days). I am sad but I will probably pass on this and I am so disappointed about that. The more expensive rooms are sold out they said though so some some people with money are willing to put up with this really short period of time cruise. But if you really add up to what you pay for to what you REALLY get: it doesn't come out fair. Unless you are emotionally invested in those days (they were the BEST) but mostly, I just can't get into the bands playing at the same time on different sections/areas of the ship. You will miss alot that way! What are we gonna do: RUN to the 9th floor for 20 minutes then RUN to the 2nd Floor for 15 minutes then RUN to the 11th floor for the rest of the allotted time for the band to play? I want to see them all!!! Not fair! Not! Not! Not! So I am gonna pass ;; . So sure! The bands will all be there but NOT for a balanced itinerary so we all can be included to enjoy them. We have to chose which ones to go see and when! I think this may be just a money-makin' opportunistic machine for those on top of this. Sorry, but not at my expense! This girl will be leaving her patchouli oil and bell bottoms packed in her cedar chest. Dang it!!! Wahhh! What ever happened to Old fashioned and Caring Common Sense and the Respect of getting your Moneys Worth so everybody can be happy? Did that go out with the 60's too? I guess so. And then the horror of the possibility: WHAT if you go and all this all turned out to be really Hokey after all with the majority of the musicians being imitators???? Arrgggh!!!

 

There is nothing in the news or on the internet posted by carnival or RCI this am about what they are going to do with all those people, on the cruises, or supposed to come in for a cruise. The devastation in Galveston and Houston is immense, the flooding is immense, so how can people get safely out , or in ???? very , very poor reflection on the cruise lines

I hope that you will use yours in such a way as to not disturb other passengers.

 

Thanks

 

ok, but i will be smoking cigars by your cabin

note how photobucket has blocked out your pics of the legend

 

 

 

Thursday, January 2 – Travel day

 

Well, here I am at LAX, waiting for my flight to board. I am through security little earlier than I planned to be, but that is not a bad thing. So since I found a place to plug in and sit, I figured I would get started on my review.

 

 

 

First, a little about me. This is my twenty-fifth cruise overall and tenth on Royal Caribbean. I am Diamond on Royal Caribbean. I’ve also cruised on Carnival ten times, Princess twice, NCL twice and once on one other cruise line (I don’t recall the name of the cruise line). I am starting to cruise on Royal Caribbean more as I prefer longer cruises (this one is ten nights) and though I like Carnival, Carnival offers very few cruises that are longer than eight nights. This will be my first time on the Legend of the Seas and my second time on a Vision class ship, though my first Vision class ship was the stretched Enchantment of the Seas.

 

 

 

Since people seem to like details, I try to write my reviews while on the ship, while things are still fresh in my mind. My last cruise was on the Allure of the Seas in September 2013. So far this trip has started off much more smoothly than the Allure cruise, as the taxi was on time this time (last time the taxi was late and I had to quickly make alternate plans).

 

 

 

I made my reservation for the taxi last week. I then called yesterday to confirm my reservation. The person starts asking me a bunch of questions which I answer. When she asks for the time I said I made my reservation for 4:05am. Then she gets mad at me for not telling her I had a reservation already. So I told her that she has been asking questions from the beginning which I have been answering. Also, she knew my name and address (which I had not given her yet), so I assumed she was looking at the reservation. At any rate the reservation was confirmed.

 

 

This morning I received a text message when the taxi was dispatched. I received a computer call telling me the taxi would arrive in one minute. It was actually a little before 4am when it arrived, so I am liking this taxi company must better than the last two I've tried. I went to the FlyAway and was able to catch the 4:15am bus (I had planned to catch the 4:45am bus).

 

 

 

There was no traffic and I was in the security line by 5am. It turned out to be the wrong security line. I somehow ended up pre-cleared by TSA. The instructions being given for which line I should be in were a little confusing. When I finally asked a TSA employee I was directed to the correct line and was immediately challenged by another TSA employee. However, when I showed her my boarding pass she allowed me to pass, only to have the same person ask me two minutes later to again prove I was in the right line. After seeing my boarding pass she then remembered looking at my boarding pass two minutes earlier. The advantage of being pre-cleared is I don’t have to remove my belt or shoes (though because my belt bucket is metal, I do have to remove that), nor do I have to take my laptop out of the backpack I carry it in.

 

 

So, shortly after 5am I am through security looking for a place to plug in. Though things have improved since the last time I was here. LAX does not have enough plugs, given all the people who fly that have things that need to be charged. However, on the plus side there is access to free Wi-Fi, though for an extra charge you can connect to a faster Wi-Fi.

 

 

 

Well, my flight is schedule to depart on time and I can see that the plane is here. So I’ll be back at you later today when I arrive in Fort Lauderdale.

 

 

 

The flight from LAX to DFW was uneventful and only a few minutes late. Upon arriving in DFW however another plane was unable to taxi and was blocking our plane from making it to the gate. Visions of the close call I experienced last time danced in my head. However, a tug was quickly dispatched and the stalled plane was moved out of the way after a few minutes. I checked the departure board and found that my connecting flight was scheduled to depart on time and was at a gate that was furthest from the gate I deplaned from (of course - I expected that). One thing I noticed, we were told the temperature was around 35 degrees and that was noticeable as soon as I deplaned and stepped out on the jet way.

 

 

I’m not sure what the delay was, but when I arrived at the gate a few minutes after boarding should have begun I noticed nobody was boarding the plane. I quick question revealed that the delay would be short. There was a snack shop directly across from the gate, allowing me to get my first food today. One nice thing, as I boarded I looked out the window and noticed my luggage was being loaded. So that would be one less thing I would have to worry about (I’ve had luggage head off to a different city than I was going to twice – fortunately both time it was on the way home, so all that meant was laundry was done two days later).

 

 

On the flight from LAX to DFW I was in a coach class seat with first class leg room. I’ve flown first class before and it is not worth triple the cost of coach. However, all I am really interested in is the extra legroom and the seats that American calls Main Cabin Extra (MCE) is only about twenty percent more than coach. It is a coach class seat with first class leg room. I booked the flights about three months out and the MCE seats for the DFW to FLL flight were sold out. However, there were some premium seats available. These are coach class seats with the center seat blocked off, so there are only two people in each three seat row. The leg room is standard coach, but there is more elbow room, so it wasn't too bad.

 

 

 

The flight made it to Fort Lauderdale a few minutes late. I booked the Cambria Suites via the Hotwire. I ended up with a suite a little south of the airport. While the hotel is in Fort Lauderdale and only a couple of blocks from I-95, it is in a wooded area that makes it feel like it is in the middle of nowhere.

 

 

 

After checking in I went up to my room. The entry light didn’t work; however, the room was not dark. There was a very bright light in the parking lot shining into the room. Fortunately the room has two blackout curtains and one shear curtain. I set my stuff down and headed back down for dinner.

 

 

 

While in the lobby I asked about the Internet access. It is free. I then asked about a shuttle to the port. They offered that for five dollars per person. Since the taxi fare was twenty dollars and the port is right next to the airport, I decided that was a good deal and signed up.

Unfortunately I am too tired to take advantage of the free Internet (I got less than four hours sleep last night) so until tomorrow, good night.

 

 

 

 

 

 

i would take a taxi for 2 reasons.

 

1) no busses from the cruise terminal is announced yet in weekends.

 

2) the tivoli hotel is 20 minutes on foot from the central station or a short bus trip with 11a and another bus, i think its 66 but i can check up on that.

 

 

The 11a bus takes you through various districts in inner copenhagen like strøget and nyhavn and is way cheaper than the hop on/hop off busses.

A single ticket for 1 hour costs 24 kroner.

 

 

 

thank you danish viking!!!

If any of you are is arriving with the Legend Of The Seas on the second of may you are in for a surprise. :D

 

Our Queen Dronning Margrethe II will open the cruiseterminal on that date.

 

It is also stated that 2 out of 3 terminals will be ready for that date and the third will be ready by the end of May.

 

Hello Danish Viking.

 

Thank you very much for the info about the Queen--that is really special

 

I am spending 2 days in Copenhagen and leave on may 4th.

 

I have a couple questions which i thought you might be able to answer

 

I will be staying at the Tivoli hotel and want to go directly from the cruise terminal on May 2nd to the hotel and check in my luggage, so i can start seeing the city.

 

What do you think is the best way to get to the hotel

 

its address is

 

Arni Magnussons Gade 2, Copenhagen, 1577 Denmark

 

 

the web site says it is near a train station, but if is time consuming to get to the train station from the new terminal and then to the hotel due to transfers or whatever, i guess i would take a cab...what do you think?? [i speak no Danish, which might also complicate my efforts]

 

 

[if a cab is very expensive i will post on the roll call and see if someone wants to share a cab]

 

 

the hotel has a shuttle to tivoli gardens.. do you know if there is a hop on hop off bus that could take me to the various neighborhoods and shopping districts.. i really enjoy walking around neighborhoods and main shopping areas in European cities, and if i did hop on hop off first day, i would pick out stops i want to come back to for more exploration the second day]

 

 

Thank you for your help

 

 

Julian

Monday, January 13 - Travel day

 

Thank you for the terrific and entertaining review and the exquisite pics.

I am scheduled for the Legend TA from ft laud to copenhagen in april, and your travelogue and pics made me feel like I was on the ship...and made me look forward to it even more

 

" I woke up early and as I usually did, picked out my breakfast at the buffet and then brought it back to my cabin. I had a fairly high debarkation number, given that I was on shore excursion. Normally shore excursions get priority (numbers one, two or three). But I had number seven which had a planned departure time of 8:45am, which seemed late to me. I checked with guest services yesterday, and they confirmed that I had the correct number."

Bill and Mary.. i stumbled across your trip in 2008 0r 2009 and read most of your great postings. I hope this finds you well and ambulatory and have done more great cruises since then

[quote name='shakybeef']awww, look at that - this old thing has popped back up again.:) i was just talking to a cruise buddy about it yesterday (hi, to the 'first delta';) if you ever read this far), and here it is again.



Ah, the great mel brooks! I can only imagine what life with him must be like.:rolleyes: And i thought i had it rough!:p

um, at the risk of sounding dumb (for possibly the 387th time on these boards alone:rolleyes:) who's de barry? Did you mean dave barry? 'cause if so, that's kinda funny. But i don't know, maybe him being the lovechild of this de barry is even funnier.


So glad you found it again! You probably couldn't find it because the dork spelled carnival wrong in the title.:cool: Enjoy your cruise! Here's wishing you weather as lovely as what we had. : )[/quote]

yep--meant dave barry.

[quote name='ShakyBeef'][COLOR=blue]Let's see if I can try to explain...[/COLOR]

[COLOR=blue]This bit:[/COLOR]

[COLOR=black][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][FONT=Calibri]"The point of this whole grandmother thing was actually very small – she taught me to eat anything, and be happy with it. She never used the line “… because there are starving children in [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Calibri]China[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT=Calibri]”. She said things more along the lines of, “You’d better eat fast, because there’s not enough for everyone, and two of you are going to be hungry.”[/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[COLOR=black][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Back to my modern-day gluttony!"[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]



[COLOR=blue]In combination with this bit:[/COLOR]


[COLOR=black][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]"On top of my tolerance for spicy foods, I have a terribly bad sense of taste. I mean, I can’t really tell the difference between adjacent levels of food quality. I’ll illustrate. Here’s a simple food taste/quality chart:[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=black][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]+4 Amazing food[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]+3 Great food[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]+2 Good food[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]+1 OK food[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]+0 Edible food[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]-1 Edible, but wouldn’t choose to eat again food[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]-2 Barely edible food[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]-3 “Can’t swallow it, please-get-me-a-napkin” food[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]-4 “I’m not even going to touch the fork that’s holding that” food [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=black][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Now that we’ve established a simplified scale of taste – here’s what I mean. Here is MY food scale:[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=black][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]+2 “Yeah, I’ve had that before, and I think I liked it” food[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]+1 “Can’t remember if I’ve had that before, but I’ll try anything once” food[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]0 “I’ve had that and it kept me from going hungry” food[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]-1 “Oh, I think I had that once and almost died. Sure, I’ll try it again, but only a little bite” food[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=black][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]See the slight difference? It’s subtle, but if you read it again, I’m sure you’ll catch it this time.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=black][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]As for types of food, I have very few limits on animal type, animal’s living habits prior to death, or animal’s diet prior to death."[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]




[COLOR=blue]Eventually is connected back to this bit:[/COLOR]



[COLOR=black][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]"At some point, Sentil comes by and reminds me that I have my Indian entrée waiting, as well. He tells me that he’ll wait for me to finish my salad, and bring it over with my lobster. I am so excited by the idea of having something that’s off-menu. I have no idea what it’s going to be. All I know is that it’s supposed to be an authentic Indian dish, and it’s supposed to be non-vegetarian. Imagine going to the MDR for dinner, having no idea what’s on the menu that night, and they just bring you some random dish. Ok, I could see how many people wouldn’t like that – but it’s a fun feeling for me. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=black][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]It works for me, because I’ll eat just about anything… once."[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]




[COLOR=blue]It's all just his round-about, rambling way of explaining why he's an adventurous eater -- letting you into his twisted mind and giving you some insight into some of the ways his "interesting" (to put it mildly) childhood shaped the way he felt about the food on the cruise. [/COLOR]

[COLOR=blue]He knows he's giving y'all a lot of non-cruise related "brain vomit" in this glorious magnum opus of his; but (surprisingly, to us:o) some of you seem to enjoy reading this extra stuff. The kind and enthusiastically positive responses of so many so far appear to be proof of that. To all of you, thank you! [/COLOR]

[COLOR=blue]To all those who do not enjoy being taken along on his kooky mental detours, I apologize on behalf of us both. As his "Editor" I suppose I might be able to convince him to keep them to a minimum. But I have to admit, I love his twisted, sarcastic, wacky brain and the crazy stuff it has been spewing out here. And I'm loath to stifle it. [/COLOR][/quote]

This is a bit late but I just learned of the link to this review this morning. and have probably spent 6 hours today reading it and am only to this point.

In Woodie Allen's Oscar winning Annie Hall there is scene in the kitchen where Woodie Allen cracks a joke and Diane Keaton (Annie Hall) gives him a blank stare. Despite his attraction, he must come face to face with mind numbing, permanent vapidity. No medication, no electric shock therapy could fix it. She will never get it.

You husband's brilliant wit, story telling and writing ability far exceeds many who try and write humor for a living, and even make a decent living out of it. Hard to believe his age when written. Way beyond his years. He must keep his hand in it in some way.

[quote name='ShakyBeef']Yes, this is really how he is all the time. :cool: His sarcastic / dry sense of humor and dead-pan delivery sometimes makes people think he's either crazy or stupid (or both). Life with him is interesting, to say the least.:rolleyes::p[/quote].

His review is being circulated to this day and I just started reading it.
As Ann Bancroft said when she was asked what it was like to be married to Mel Brooks:
"never a dull minute".

Being a curious sort, i have had a number of interns do some intensive research to find out who Delta Hotel actually is.

Turns out he is the love child of De Barry

One of the best cruise reviews ever

We arrived in Buenos Aires on a direct flight from Atlanta and cleared customs in less than 15 minutes. Immediately outside the custom area we found a kiosk where we hired a Remise (for $27) to take us to our downtown hotel.

 

In less than an hour from landing, we had gotten our bags, cleared customs, hired a car, and were actually in our room at the Dazzler Libertad Hotel preparing for a short nap after the overnight flight. So far this was the best cruise ever!

 

Apparently, however, “Dazzler” is Spanish for “noisy plumbing and thin walls”. I know this because in the room next door was either (a) someone suffering from severe gastrointestinal distress, or (b) a family of approximately 12 to14 people.

 

Abandoning any idea of a nap, we booked a tour of the city for $14. On the tour we saw, well lets face it, we saw…. not much. We are all adults here and can handle the truth. There is nothing to see in Buenos Aires. Cairo has the Pyramids of Gaza, Rio has Sugarloaf, New York has the Statue of Liberty, Paris – the Eiffel Tower, and London has Big Ben. Honestly, what have you ever waited all your life to see in Buenos Aires? Certainly not beef…Argentina ships 20,000 tons of beef to the US each year and you can find good Argentinean restaurants in any big city. And not the Tango…I have seen better Tango dancing on Dancing with the Stars than in the “Dinner and Tango” shows in BA.

 

Well, OK, I’ll grant you there is Evita Peron’s tomb. But most tours don’t stop there and most people confuse Evita with Madonna singing “Don’t Cry for Me, Argentina”.

 

Now, don’t get me wrong, for $14 take the tour and get a flavor of the city, just don’t expect Paris. (P.S. Evita’s tomb was not that impressive and she doesn’t even get top billing – her name is the fourth one down on the list of people in the crypt.)

 

That said, we did have dinner that night at the La Chacra Restaurante. SailorJill and I both ordered the Special Tenderloin. It arrived hot and steaming, but it was the biggest piece of meat I have ever seen that didn’t have four legs and a bell around its neck. It took three waiters and a lift truck to get it up on our plates and there was absolutely no way we could have come close to eating all of it. However, we did our best and then donated the remainder to the Argentinian Olympic Sumo Wrestling Team.

 

OK, so maybe Argentinean beef is something so see in BA.

 

But I digress.

 

Day 1 – Buenos Aires

 

If any one has ever seen a Three Stooges Movie they have a head start in picturing the boarding process for the Dream – only the boarding process lasted twice as long as the movie. The process is still far too painful to recount, but I believe that it was this lack of organization that was the genesis of what was to come.

 

Life Boat Drill

 

Those of you who may have read my review of our transatlantic cruise aboard the RCL Brilliance of the Seas last May understand my dismay over lifeboat drills. The drill aboard the Dream met my expectations.

 

I expect the drill to be somewhat long as getting into a lifeboat is an important aspect of sailing, especially if you happen to be on the Dream. I can also (maybe) understand that it must be repeated in Spanish, but then French, and then German? I’ve read novels by Tolstoy in the time it took to go through the drill in four languages.

 

But when we started in on the ship’s smoking policy and then the policy about open flames it became dangerous. We were standing on the open deck in 90-degree weather with life vests attached when certain citizens who are heat sensitive began to fail. Several people at our station had to be taken into the ship to avoid collapsing on deck.

 

But when we got to the German version of shower safety (Achtung! Ist verboten begetten in der kliene geshowerstallen mit der grosse zexy frau) I began to feel that Nancy Pelosi’s position on waterboarding may be in error.

 

 

Day 2 – Montevideo

 

We awoke in Montevideo under cloudy skys and went ashore to see the city. We ran into a crusty Canuck and his wife and agreed to see if we could get a group together to get a discount on a tour. Now I know most cruisers are used to being harried by local entrepreneurs selling tours, but not many were prepared for a sales pitch from a large, burly, Dutch accented Canuck wearing a jacket with a large Canadian Flag.

 

But he did it…and the group he put together became firm friends for the rest of the cruise – eating together, drinking together, and touring together in other cities. I would not mind cruising (and hopefully will) cruise with anyone of them again. Assuming, of course, that they will set foot on another cruise ship.

 

We found a delightful guide and driver and, for $20, saw the colorful and wonderful city of Montevideo.

 

One of our last stops on the tour was the Parliament Building – a spectacular edifice which housed the legislative branch of the Uruguayan government. Entering the building, we were immediately impressed by the 8 members of an elite Uruguayan military unit that were standing guard over the glass encased Constitution of Uruguay. They were easily equal in presence and demeanor to the guards one sees at Buckingham Palace.

 

Our arrival was most fortuitous, as we were present during the Changing of the Guard. A squad of 8 impressively dressed soldiers marched in perfect step into the Rotunda and came to ramrod attention. The Sergeant of the Guard barked out “Fix Bayonets” and in complete unison, the eight soldiers slapped their sheaths, withdrew their bayonets, and in a staccato of rapid clicks, affixed them to their rifles.

 

Well, actually, seven of them acted in perfect unison. The eighth soldier could not get his bayonet out of the sheath. As discretely as possible, he yanked and tugged at the thing as the face of the Sergeant became redder and redder. Under that dreadful glare, he abandoned all efforts at subtlety, and grabbed at the sheath with both hands and tried by pure force of effort to pry the weapon from its holder.

 

I saw the Sergeant’s jaw drop and the look of startled panic on the Private’s face as the forgotten rifle slowly fell to the Rotunda’s hard marble floor.

 

I guess, up to that point, I never guessed that the rifles were actually loaded…having thought that they were basically, oh, I don’t know…empty? I think that during the few seconds it took for the carbine to fall to the floor, the young Private knew that life, as he had known it, was forever gone. I suspect that he knew, even in that brief moment, that his next assignment would probably be guarding the unmanned weather station on the windswept Isla del Diablo.

 

If I had had an Easy Button, I would have gladly given it to him.

 

Day 2 (Continued) –Montevideo

 

We departed Montevideo under clear skys at 5:00 PM amid anticipation of an exciting day at sea as we steamed to our next Port of Call, Puerto Madryn and its famed colony of Penguins.

 

We had actually made it a mile or so out to sea before we rear-ended the Suzuki Grand Vitara. Well, technically speaking, I guess we first rammed the Japanese Cargo Barge, Tira Mizzou, knocking a half dozen Suzukis and an untold number of steel cargo containers into the shallow sea. It was then that we rear-ended one of the Suzukis.

 

As SailorJill and I looked on, the six Suzukis slowly slid, one by one, beneath the waves – sending Davy Jones a brand new set of wheels.

 

As you might well imagine, this turn of events caused confusion, concern and, yes, even panic among the passengers. Several of our passengers, God bless them, showed up at their Abandon Ship station wearing their life jackets. Others noted that another NCL ship, the Marco Polo had heaved to on our port side and it was rumored that it was preparing to pick up survivors. The more experienced cruisers took advantage of this confusion to move to the head of the dinner line at the Four Seasons Restaurant – a clear advantage when Free Style cruising.

 

After bobbing around in the estuary for several hours while the crew assessed the damage to the Dream, it was announced that with the front end of our ship now missing it would be too dangerous to put out to sea and that we would be returning to Montevideo to effect repairs and that we would continue the cruise at 4:00 PM tomorrow.

 

However, all the cargo containers and SUVs settled into the harbor channel, effectively closing the Port of Montevideo to all traffic – both coming and going.

 

So there we sat. A free open bar, lights ablaze, and the band playing on while we noted that our ship now held the record for the most Japanese tonnage sunk since 1945.

 

Day 3 – Off the Coast of Uruguay

 

Dawn finds us still at anchor somewhere near where the Graff Spee went down. The channel is still blocked. We are alone. We are isolated. We have effectively trapped the Celebrity Infinity and other ships in the harbor, while countless others ships have dropped anchor in the Platte estuary because they cannot deliver their perishables and foodstuffs to Montevideo. We have become a Pariah.

 

Ashore, people are making clay models of the Dream and sticking sharp needles into them. Rumors that Montevideo is running out of food and that citizens are raiding the grain silos prove false.

 

We consider suggesting to the Captain that under cover of coming darkness we paint over the name “Dream” on the hull and make a high speed run for the Cuban coast. But our missing front-end rules that out. We must stay and face the music.

 

We receive a letter from the Captain stating that NCL has revised our itinerary and that stops at the Falkland Islands, Puerto Madryn and Cape Horn have been dropped form the itinerary. In return we are granted a $300 onboard credit. It is a reasonable first offer, but I am disappointed that the visit to the Cape has been cancelled – it was the primary reason I had booked the cruise.

 

But such is life. Late that night we are informed that the channel is now clear and that we will be returning to Montevideo where we can effect repairs and be on our way by 4:00 PM tomorrow.

 

Day 4 – Montevideo

 

Good news. We are tied up on the dock at Montevideo. Oops, bad choice of words. We are birthed at the dock, but I can’t help but notice that we are now conspicuously close to the ships of the Uruguayan navy.

 

Our group from Day 1 reunites and we find the same tour guides we had on our first tour in Montevideo. Together we design a custom tour. We want to see a working Estancia, a winery, and the surrounding countryside. The cost is $20 each and we stress that we must be back by 3:00 PM as the ship is leaving at 4:00 PM.

 

We are back by 3:00 only to find out that the damage to the ship was more extensive than first thought and that we will not be able to leave until Thursday at 4:00.

 

Bad news. But on the positive side, we had a tremendous day in Montevideo. Our guides did an outstanding job in putting together a custom tour. An Estancia that was closed opened up just for us, the winery was a small family run affair and our wine tasting with Pablo and his wife – the owners – turned out to be a party. I did not know that Uruguay was making this quality of wine. The countryside tour was unique- the guides even had to stop and ask directions to get to some of the locations. We tell the guide that if we are here one more night we are coming to her house for dinner.

 

As we have been consigned to Mondevideo for another day, another Port has been dropped from the schedule – Ushuaia. But Cape Horn has been added back in! In addition, NCL is refunding 50% of the cruise and granting an additional $61 to our on-board account.

 

On a sad note, we learn that we have a new Captain. While many suspected that this might happen we had not expected any action this soon.

 

 

 

Day 5 – Montevideo

 

We awake again in Montevideo. Is it possible that I have become Bill Murray in Ground Hog Day – doomed to perpetually awake in Montevideo only to be told that we will be leaving by 4:00?

 

I have now been in Montevideo so long that I am considering applying for citizenship. I know now that we will never be able to leave and that the sooner SailorJill and I start our new life together the better.

 

Perhaps we can get jobs at the winery.

 

Later in the day the ship ran something called “The Mans’ Sexy Legs Contest”. The event brought back very painful memories for me from my days on another cruise.

 

On the cruise they were successful in rounding up women who would be judges, but were having trouble finding enough idiots to actually volunteer to show their legs. So “Rick, from the Cruise Directors Staff” started walking around the pool badgering innocent sunbathers to get up and embarrass themselves. “Rick from Cruise Directors Staff” stopped in front of my lounge and asked me to volunteer. I politely declined. He asked again. I declined more strongly. That’s when “Rick, from the Cruise Directors Staff” turned to the building audience and yelled into his microphone, “You’re not afraid are you? Come on people, let’s give him a little encouragement!” SailorJill said in would be “fun” and after being assured that all I had to do was go up and walk in front of the judges, I said I would join the other idiots.

 

When we got up front “Rick, from the Cruise Directors Staff” said we should dance and “show our moves” when our turn came. That was not what I had signed up for. When my turn came, I walked by the judges and “Rick, from the Cruise Directors Staff” started yelling into his microphone “Shake your Booty, SHAKE YOUR BOOTY”. To this day I have no idea what Booty is, but apparently it is not your middle finger.

 

Needless to say, I lost that Sexy Legs Contest and swore off ever doing that again.

 

Taking a late lunch around 2:00 PM the ship abruptly goes completely dark. From the direction of the kitchen comes the sound of dishes crashing, startled shouts come from the direction of the elevators, and I imagine crewmembers suddenly applying for shore leave. I pat my pocket to ensure that I have my Uruguayan immigration papers. I wonder why the Captain does not come on to tell us that all is well – just a small fire in the generator room and that he is confident it will soon be brought under control. But of course he cannot announce that – we have no power.

 

Later as power is restored, the new Captain comes on to tell us that all is well, but that we will not be leaving at 4:00, but at “maybe around six, six-thirty, or sevenish.” I had expected to hear “we will be leaving at 1600 hours”, or maybe “we will leaving at 8 bells”, or even “we will be sailing on the next tide”. But Sevenish? Is it possible that our new Captain is, like, from the Valley?

 

Day 6 – At Sea

 

We are finally at sea, but there are rumors that the long delay in Montevideo has seriously depleted our food supply and that we are running short of certain items. I myself have noted that there are no more lemons for tea and the ship is substituting limes and that the Four Seasons is serving more and more leftovers. But I discount the rumors as wild speculation.

 

Sensing that my stress level over this and other mishaps that have risen over the past several days, SailorJill suggests that maybe I try Aroma Therapy in the Spa. I am incredulous! She wants me to explore my feminine side by sitting in a roomful of women wearing terry cloth robes, their hair wrapped in towels, and their faces covered in French mud?

 

I explain to her that real men suck it up when the going gets tough and don’t need to seek vapid, effete panaceas. Sometimes the gulf between men and women amazes me and I am forced to explain the laws of nature to SailorJill.

 

Well, to make a long story short, not only did the Aroma Therapy not work, but I now find myself crossing my legs and dangling my shoes off the ends of my toes when I sit. On the positive side, I have to admit I do smell pretty good.

 

Day 7 – At Sea

 

We awake to clear skys, strong winds, and heavy seas, but we are sailing due south at normal speed and are on schedule for Punta Arenas.

 

No. Wait! That was yesterday. Today we are adrift in the South Atlantic Ocean with no power. The ship has gone dark. With all engines down, the rudder is unable to respond to the helm. We are captive to the currents and the winds. I fear we may befall the same fate as other ships that have sailed into the Argentinean Triangle.

 

I know that the crew is desperately trying to fire up the engine as I see a small wisp of smoke come out of the stacks. First it is only three small dots of smoke…then three longer dashes following by three smaller ones. But still no power to the engines.

 

Mercifully, a small amount of emergency power is restored and the Captain comes on the speaker and asks if anyone happens to have a spare 25,000 amp IDX Type III fuse on them.

 

This is the second time in three days that we have lost power and SailorJill is becoming concerned. She has long subscribed to the theory that bad things come in threes and we are now due. First was the collision at sea and now we are adrift somewhere off the coast of South America. What future adventure awaits us as we steam ever closer to the vast wilderness of Antarctica?

 

As the waves crash relentlessly against the ship I tried to understand why this was happening. Had we run out of fuel because of our stay in Montevideo? Had someone shot an Albatross? Is the ship pouting because it is about to be sold? One has time to ponder such issues when lost at sea.

 

Then with a start, I begin to wonder if the rumors of food shortages may be true when I see the entire kitchen staff fishing like crazy off the back end of the boat! I’m guessing seafood tonight.

 

Then, with a roar, the engines spring back to life. We are saved. Someone had a spare fuse after all.

 

Day 8 – Cape Horn

 

We are here. We have entered the Drake Passage and sailed around the Horn. It is the culmination of years of anticipation. The waters, where the Atlantic, Pacific and Antarctic Oceans meet are stunningly calm – almost like glass. We had expected heavy seas, but there is no hint of the turbulent storms that took the lives of so many sailors in the Age of Sail.

 

From the ship we see the Memorial erected to these brave men. It is in the form of an Albatross and reads:

 

I, the albatross that awaits for you at the end of the world...

I, the forgotten soul of the sailors lost that crossed Cape Horn from all the seas of the world.

But die they did not in the fierce waves,

for today towards eternity in my wings they soar

in the last crevice of the Antarctic winds

 

In commemoration of our rounding Cape Horn, the Captain performs a baptism ritual on the passengers. As each steps forward a ladle of really cold water is poured over the head. We are now Honorary Fugeans. I am grateful that the ceremony is not the same one used when first crossing the equator.

Day 9 – Tierra del Fuego

Today we are traversing the waters off Tierra del Fuego – which would be a really great name for a Latin Salsa Band (Ladies and Gentlemen – give it up for the Tierra del Fuegos!).

Actually, Tierra del Fuego is Spanish for “Land of Frozen Butts”. We take care not to touch any exposed metal as we hope to leave the ship some day.

As cold as it may be, the land is both spectacular and awe-inspiring. With all due respect to my home province of British Columbia, this is the most beautiful and fearsome coastline I have ever seen.

In every direction one looks there are the towering snow covered peaks of the Andes Mountains; craggy cliffs, scarred by ancient glaciers that advanced and retreated over the ages, that plunge straight down into the sea; and low lying islands that rise slowly from the frigid waters and slide back into the dark shadows of the barren coast line. Countless waterfalls, fed by the melting snows above, ease gently over the highest cliffs and, glistening like so many silvery ribbons, wend their way down the ridges and crevices, building speed as they descend, until their last dramatic fall onto the rocks below.

Nowhere is there any sign of life other than the birds and the beasts that first greeted Captain Robert Fitz Roy in 1826. This is truly the land that time has forgot.

 

 

 

 

Day 10 – Fort Williams

 

Today we arrive at Fort Williams, a small settlement which prides itself as being the “most southerly human settlement in the World”. Later we are to visit Punta Arenas which bills itself as “the most southerly human settlement of its size in the world”.

There appears to be a tremendous cachet to being the “most southerly” as Santiago may well claim to be “the most southerly capital of its size in the world”.

 

In the event that may actually be some financial advantage to this, I now modestly admit that my home in Atlanta is “the most southerly house with a pool, two magnolias, three white azaleas, two banana trees, and a broken gutter spout in the world”.

 

Day 14

 

The cruise is finally over. We had great stops in Punta Arenas, Ushuaia (which had been added back to the schedule), and Port Montt (where we got our third Captain of the trip). The trip was uneventful and the third misfortune that SailorJill feared never occurred.

 

But the trip has been stressful. Some people were upset that the Falkland Islands had been deleted from the schedule. ( I have to admit, I was looking forward to the Falklands – having signed up for a glass bottom boat ride so I could see the Argentinean Navy.) Others were upset over missing Puerto Madryn and the Penguin Colonies.

 

There had been talk of petitions, demands, sit-ins, and letters to the media, so tensions and stress were still high as people lined the halls to leave the ship. But I was confident cooler heads would prevail once we were ashore. I knew that the pushing and shoving that was occurring would soon turn to hugs and tearful goodbyes.

 

At least they would have until the ship announced that they had given out the wrong Chilean immigration documents and that crew members would soon circulate among the passengers to distribute the correct forms. In the meantime, no one could leave the ship until the new forms had been completed. I have to admit, I have never seen otherwise sane people start to pound on elevator doors, scream, and react so wildly to an announcement before.

 

I also knew that no sane member of the cruise directors staff would “circulate among the passengers” to distribute the new forms.

In the end it worked out, but this was a cruise to remember.

Would I do it again? Absolutely. I met wonderful people, visited intriguing ports, had great adventures, and even got some money back! The Dream is a good ship. It had a little misfortune - with which I have had a little fun , but in the end the worst day on a cruise is better that the best day at work.

As I got on my plane to fly back to Atlanta, I heard the three sweetest words in a travelers vocabulary – “You’ve been upgraded!”. As we circled Santiago and prepared to head north, SailorJill and I raised our champagne glasses and made a toast to our new friends, our upcoming adventures, and to whoever had the spare 25,000 amp IDX Type III fuse.

Life is good.

your beautiful reports

that we all can't await the next installment...therefore, would it be too much trouble to take along a laptop on each excursion and on board, with satellite capacity, so you can do the emails in real time as you are seeing and experiencing the events....:) :)

 

then we wont have to wait so long...

 

just a thought...

I am very curious..Bill--are you a professional writer?? what was your occupation before apparent retirement....[Mary writes beautifully too...]

What a gift that seems to keep on giving!!!

 

Your writing, both style and content, is exquisite.

 

Thank you for taking us along.